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Paranoia

  • 27-01-2006 1:41pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    To give a brief rundown of my problem basically I broke up 2 months ago with my girlfriend Kate of 1 year. It was her who finished it and the reason being was due to my paranoia. Anytime she'd go on a night out with the girls or go for a drink with colleagues after work I'd always assume the worst and think she was cheating. Looking back now I realise my stupidity and that these ridiculous thoughts have cost me a fantastic girl whom I truly loved. I really cant believe I accused her of infidelity.

    I'm now left with the reality that I've lost out on potential lifetime happiness with this girl due to my problem.

    In 2004 I posted another thread about how I felt like I was stuck in a rut... only 2 weeks later I got with this girl and she completely changed my life around.

    This was only the 2nd long term relationship I've been in. My first ever relationship of 5 years ended 3 years previously. This breakup of my 5 year relationship with Laura left me devastated as my Laura started seeing someone else straight away. This of course was a big blow to me. As some of you know when someone breaks up you feel insecure for a while afterwards. These feelings of insecurity which I have, have also turned into feelings of paranoia and jealousy.

    Laura was manipulative and had no friends of her own so I basically had no breathing space for the 5 years.

    Kate on the other hand was carefree, popular, had many friends, treated me well and gave me my space.

    I have accepted the breakup was my fault and I now want to rectify this problem before I meet someone else and the same may happen.

    The advice I need here is how do I deal with this paranoia\insecurity? Would counselling help? Is there a specific type of counsellor? Has anyone else experienced the same.

    Insecurity in a person must be the most unattractive trait there is.

    I want to change this before it ruins my life.

    (p.s. The names used above are not their real names).


Comments

  • #2
    Beruthiel
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 42,362 Mod ✭✭✭✭Beruthiel


    If you are a confident person with loads of self esteem and a knowledge that at heart you are a great person to know, then this paranoia would just not exist.
    You would know how great you are and that your partner is happy to be with you and knows how lucky they are.
    why not go to your GP and ask them to suggest a counsellor to help you towards that goal


  • #3
    Ag marbh
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,258 ✭✭✭Ag marbh


    Beruthiel wrote:
    If you are a confident person with loads of self esteem and a knowledge that at heart you are a great person to know, then this paranoia would just not exist.
    You would know how great you are and that your partner is happy to be with you and knows how lucky they are.
    why not go to your GP and ask them to suggest a counsellor to help you towards that goal

    This is 100% correct. I go through phases of obsessing over the same thing and it's purely down to the bouts depression and feeling bad within myself. Winter months are always worse for it too and thats how I determine it's due to depression.


  • #4
    Ickle Magoo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,485 ✭✭✭✭Ickle Magoo


    I think talking things over with a councellor could help you greatly.....feelings of insecurity, paranoia and depression generally have a base much deeper in our phyche than we realise or care to admit and talking to a qualified, neutral third party can help you find out where the behaviour you don't like originally stems from so you can discover ways of dealing with your anxieties that won't impact on your relationships. All the best :)


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