She's got a new boyfriend.

Proxy

Myself and my long-term girlfriend broke up 3 weeks ago because she "wanted to see other people". Now i've found out she's got a new boyfriend already, a guy that we both knew previously.

I'm finding it really hard to deal with, and i'm trying to be "ok" with it 'cause I wanted us to still talk and stuff, 'cause we were always very close. Now I feel like i've got nobody. How do you deal with something like that? Anybody got any experiences?

KTRIC

Proxy wrote:

Myself and my long-term girlfriend broke up 3 weeks ago because she "wanted to see other people". Now i've found out she's got a new boyfriend already, a guy that we both knew previously.

I'm finding it really hard to deal with, and i'm trying to be "ok" with it 'cause I wanted us to still talk and stuff, 'cause we were always very close. Now I feel like i've got nobody. How do you deal with something like that? Anybody got any experiences?

A classic case of getting dumped for another guy. She obviously had this other guy waiting and just needed to dump you. I'd say good ridance to be honest and just move on.

Misticles

ya deal with it the best way ya can i suppose. the fact that she as another bf shouldnt come as much as a surprise seeing as she wanted to see other people. it mightnt even be a bf maybe just a short lived kinda thing. ya still might get the chance to "talk and stuff" when she realises what shes given up. she probably felt that she was missing out on being single. maybe her friends are or it was a long term relationship that you were in. but she may realise that far away hill arent greener. but dont build your hopes up too high. see how things go.

qz

This sounds harsh. but just deal with it.
Life is shít like that, it'll be hard for a while, but you'll get over it eventually. Plenty more fish in the kettle and whatnot. Seriously, don't get too down about it (easier said than done, I know), just try look forward to meeting new people.

PowerHouseDan

Man thats Though and got to Hurt...3 Weeks is a very short period of time to get with someone after a long term relationship... But all you can do really is keep yourself busy, if that what she does your obviously better of without her. I no its ALOT easyer said than done but the thing is it has to be done.

Eminem

I am sorry to hear that

Proxy

K-TRIC wrote:

A classic case of getting dumped for another guy. She obviously had this other guy waiting and just needed to dump you. I'd say good ridance to be honest and just move on.

****, you really think she had him and me on the go?

I don't know which is better, angry or understanding or what...?

qz

Proxy wrote:

****, you really think she had him and me on the go?

I don't know which is better, angry or understanding or what...?

Neither. Just move on.

[Jackass]

OUCH! Dude, that is rough!! Sorry to hear about that...

I really liked my ex, and when I got the shaft, I thought i handled it pretty well, as in didn't feel as shit as i thought I would... cause I just surrounded myself with as many girls as I could when out, and I had a few flings and stuff, and just tried to get on with it. If moap about it and stay alone, you'll dwell on it and feel crap...

NEVER underestimate the power of rebounds man, seriously!

Even if you're not with another girl, chase one...start working on a girl you know and like.

Le Rack

three weeks is way too soon after a long term, you're better off moving on in life without her.

Proxy

I never feel good about that. Might be a bit of a pussy thing to say but I don't feel comfortable hitting on my friends in case of rejection, the repercussions are 100x worse. Christ - I need to grow up!

Le Rack

that is true, but when something like that happens you gotta pack up camp and find a new hutch

qz

If it's any consolation, I like your sig.

py2006

Oh man! I know how that one feels! It hurts like hell! It makes you feel like she didn't give a **** about you.

Just try not to see her again. Avoid meeting up with them. Only make it hurt more! believe me!

Proxy

py2006 wrote:

Oh man! I know how that one feels! It hurts like hell! It makes you feel like she didn't give a **** about you.

Just try not to see her again. Avoid meeting up with them. Only make it hurt more! believe me!

Fvckin tell me about it. It just weird, whole world turned upside down like.

Cheers lads, this cheered me up a lot more than I presumed it would.

And thanks qz, i'll dedicate it to you... except I robbed it from my mate's Photobucket. Oh well!!

py2006

No worries! I totally know where your coming from!

Go out there and meet some women and have a good time!

LoGiE

Hang on you shouldn't feel you have to be "ok" with the situation!! Unless she's stupid she'll know that suddenly getting with a new bloke (Especially one you both know) is a horrible thing to do to someone you've be in a long term relationship with.
From my own experience trying to stay friends just after a break up just isn't possible. Either you'll flip out everytime you see them together and look like a total nut case or you'll torture yourself for the next year wondering why she suddenly changed her mind about you.
The best thing you can do now is delete her number off your phone and go out with a few mates and enjoy yourself again. It will be tough as hell but trust me you'll start to feel better about yourself. After a few weeks you'll have put her behind you. Remember there's plenty more fish in the sea.

Proxy

Ah but the joys of trying to meet new women. If only we could introduce a dowry system. "I'll give you three cows for your eldest daughter"... or else reintroduce the *club over head* "you're mine now" method.

Bluebells

Three weeks does sound very soon after a break up. You have every right to be pissed off. Just see her as little as possible over the next few months, go out and score a load of random people. Might help ease the pain.

KTRIC

Best advice is to start sh@gging about , get it out of your system. You'd be surprised how good this works.

Maybe she picked up a rebound.
Maybe she was feeling trapped in the relationship and this is her way of making up.

I don't think you should never speak to her again, but just move on is all you can do I suppose, people make mistakes

Ickle Magoo

I'd be inclined to advise you to forget about her.....:(

I can't imagine anyone who loved you would require a "break" and need to see other people and I think anyone who cared about you would have more respect for you than to rub your nose in it & start seeing someone someone you both know.....IMO

If I were you, I'd get angry at her to get her out of your system - why should it be ok for a long term g/f to want her cake & eat it, get out & have some fun as a single guy & I hope you meet someone who can't see any other guy bar you in her life - as you deserve!

Brother To God

Some thing like this happened to a friend once,he was taking it well and putting on a good face for about a month then broke down and threatened her new boyfriend with a mini cross bow(??) ,what ever you do talk about it with some one and try forget her and it is always nice to be friends after the break up,but its too painful,i suggest you never see her or him again and
do not even try to win her back as that makes it worse,they are horrible people who have hurt you,maybe they do not know it(very unlikely)
hope the future goes better for you
by the way I know where you can buy a mini cross bow!

Zombrex

Proxy wrote:

Anybody got any experiences?

I would imagine everyone at some point or another. Its sucks but its just life. It would probably be easier for you if she didn't get another boyfriend for a good while, or if she didn't get one before you got a new girlfriend, but in this situation it sounds like "date other people" meant date this new guy, I think she probably left you so she could go out with this guy. If not then this guy is a big time rebound in which case you should feel sorry for him rather than jealous.

You will get over it, its only been 3 weeks. Try not to wallow in feeling bad or hating her, really she did the best thing. Would you have preferred if she had cheated on you with this guy?

Pick yourself up and think about moving on. 2 things I find help - looking around for other girls you know and could possibly like. Even if you don't do anything it helps you realise there is a world beyond your girlfriend. And secondly focus on the things about your girlfriend that really annoyed you when you were going out. We tend to see everything through rose tinted glasses after a break up, oh she was amazing, oh she was the love of my life blah blah blah. But i bet there were at least a few times during the relationship where you were like "jesus this girl is so annoying, wish I was single again"

nedoo

Same s*it, different dude. Nasty but she had the good grace to end it before she started messing with the other fella. Long terms grow apart when you get together young. You need to cut all contact with her, seeing her with himself will mess with your head.
Look on it as a new time for you to find out who you are, on you own. F*&k around, live life to the max, take a year out to travel, go out whenever you want with whoever you want. To many people you have a lucky break man.

D-Generate

I have experience!

Was in a long term relationship and she broke up with me and was with another guy after 4 days. Sure it hurt and all that but you have to be made of sterner stuff and just get on in life.
By the way if you want her back then the best advice i could give is to get with other girls and act like you don't care about what happened. I did that unintentionally and its my ex who is feeling the heartbreak now because i'm not there anymore.

Nevyn

Brother To God wrote:

by the way I know where you can buy a mini cross bow!

Suggesting the use of volience in solving a problem or treathening someone one
is grounds for being banned from this forum.
Do read the charter and abide by the rules when posting.
Die dulci freure
Thaedydal.

toaster

it sucks, but as everyone else posted, you have to deal with it. otherwise, keep yourself busy. you had a life before meeting her, you could always do what you did.

Mikel

Suggesting the use of volience in solving a problem or treathening someone one
is grounds for being banned from this forum.

Originally Posted by Brother To God
by the way I know where you can buy a mini cross bow!

Yeah, cos i'm pretty sure he was serious about it.
Did someone have a humour bypass?

My advice to you is ask her to be honest with you. Did she dump you to be with him. Was what she said just a load of excuses? Did she not have the decency to be honest with you?
If that is the case at least you know for sure, then at least you know what you're trying to get over, rather than torturing yourself and eventually losing the head with her in six months.
Also, if it makes her feel bad, so much the better. Too many people see themselves as the victims of every situation. There is no reason why you should be ok about it, and trying to pretend that you are will lead to you driving yourself crazy.
Wanting to be with someone else happens, it doesn't mean she should lie to you about it. Ask her what if the shoe was on the other foot, how would she feel. in my limited experience, too many women are no good at asking themselves that.

Brother To God

Just to say,sorry if i offened anyone,
the mini cross bow bit was a joke!

Proxy

Well I don't believe that she dumped me to intentionally go out with him. I think he was just the easiest option. Good thing I wasn't great friends with him or, shameful as it is to say it, it (read: I) could have got violent.

She just wants to have "fun", it just so happens I was having enough fun with her. Can't blame her really for wanting to sow a few wild oats, even if it sickens me to think of anyone else with their hands on her.

Or I could try score her best friend. Or her mum. Or else I need to stop listening to my stupid friends stupid suggestions...:rolleyes:

But anyway, by thinking she just wants to "sow a few wilds oats" then I leave myself open to thinking she could possibly come back to me, which isn't a great way to think, obviously. I guess its just life. Pity life sucks. So long, and thanks for all the fish!;):p

Chinafoot

Get out there and enjoy yourself! The same thing happened to me and it hurt like hell, but you get over it

Go out with your mates and have a good time and don't be in a hurry to jump into another relationship.

arbeitsscheuer

peachypants wrote:

Get out there and enjoy yourself! The same thing happened to me and it hurt like hell, but you get over it

Go out with your mates and have a good time and don't be in a hurry to jump into another relationship.

This is possibly the best advice anyone could give you.

From my experience (heh, experience, that's a laugh n a half), when you see an ex with their new fella you instinctively want a)what you can't have, or b)the next best thing: what they have. But rushing out and replacing someone just for the sake of it is a road to nowhere and has absolutely no merit whatsoever.

Just be comfortable with yourself and let things happen if the fates decide.
F**k it, if it makes you feel better, laugh at the silly b*tch for rushing into another relationship so fast, when odds are that it'll blow up in her face.

seamus

Proxy wrote:

But anyway, by thinking she just wants to "sow a few wilds oats" then I leave myself open to thinking she could possibly come back to me, which isn't a great way to think, obviously.

She's gone. If you spend any time thinking that she might "come to her senses", then you'll spend all of that time in absolute agony, feeling like a ****ing eejit for holding out for her, while she "has some fun".

Stop asking anyone how she is, or what she's doing. Don't return her texts. Delete her number from your phone. The sooner you can stop thinking about her, the sooner you can get over her.

LegacyUser

Don't hit on your friends, that gets you into all sorts of **** where you have to be nice to them and worry about what other friends will think and all that.

Go out and hit on girls you don't know (more rejection but in your current state you don't need a relationship) and life will be simpler.

MM

whacker4fun

its horrible to say but ya really gotta just get over it,it does hurt like hell but if shes able to do that to you shes not the one for you anad aint worth it.sleeping with her mum is a good idea!

LegacyUser

I was in a LONGGGGG term relationship, knew it didn't have a future (& it 100% honestly & genuinely didn't, before I get slated)
There also was another guy (please believe me when I say these 2 sentences are completely separate) whom I really fancied, was a friend, but I didn't know how he felt. Kept feeling like I was meant to be with him.

Eventually broke up with my boyfriend (for the 1st reason, NOT because of the guy)
The next night I went out with my mates, saw the guy, told him my feelings & we kissed.

I then waited over a month before seeing this guy again so I could get my feelings straight in my head

(Even if the guy hadn't have been interested I still would NOT have gotten back with my ex. Long term relationships just go stale sometimes, & aren't meant to be. There's no point wasting time trying to make something work that's obviously not meant to. Life's too short)

I'm still in contact occasionally with my ex & we still get on well. Yes, I understand how the OP feels. There was a VERY short period between me splitting with my ex & getting with my (now) BF, but sometimes you just know when something's meant to be, the trick is not rubbing other peoples faces in it.

6 months on, & I've never been so happy in all my life as I am with my new bf. I really think he is the one & I'm SO happy I did what I did, becasue deep down I always knew my ex wasn't the one!
To this day, I've been very careful NEVER to let my ex see me with my bf as though you might think it's NOT the case, I really do care about my ex, & would never want to hurt his feelings.
At 6 months though, I think it's an acceptable amount of time for him to find out, so I'm not so worried anymore.

Life goes on.

This post doesn't help you any, but it's just possible that your EX isn't the nasty B!tch that boardsters are making her out to be.
Maybe, like me, your relationship was going nowhere for her anyway, & with or without the other fella she'd have eventually broken up with you, maybe he was just the incentive for her to do it now rather than later...

Sorry for your pain, hope it eases soon.

LegacyUser

Proxy wrote:

Well I don't believe that she dumped me to intentionally go out with him. I think he was just the easiest option. Good thing I wasn't great friends with him or, shameful as it is to say it, it (read: I) could have got violent.

She just wants to have "fun", it just so happens I was having enough fun with her. Can't blame her really for wanting to sow a few wild oats, even if it sickens me to think of anyone else with their hands on her.

Or I could try score her best friend. Or her mum. Or else I need to stop listening to my stupid friends stupid suggestions...:rolleyes:

But anyway, by thinking she just wants to "sow a few wilds oats" then I leave myself open to thinking she could possibly come back to me, which isn't a great way to think, obviously. I guess its just life. Pity life sucks. So long, and thanks for all the fish!;):p

Mate, I'm sorry to say this to you... But we've all been through it... WAKE UP... your defending the girl who broke up with you... If you wanted to break up with her you would'nt have even started this post....

Here's what you do (experiance speaking) find and date a lot of girls who like you plenty more then you like them. Have a string of empty short lived relationships. Engaged in the things you would have never done with that old girl.

2 outcomes... 1 you realise your x only ever cramped your style and life is a little more exciting, and change is good.

2... your in your wheelchair in 60 years time, you think back on the love of your life that broke your heart - but you smirk quietly to yorself about the life of debauchery you lef adter that event

Zombrex

j27 wrote:

Here's what you do (experiance speaking) find and date a lot of girls who like you plenty more then you like them.

Yes, very healthy ... maybe he should steal some childrens lollipops and laugh in their sobbing faces while he's at it :rolleyes:

ferdi

man she obviously had both of you on the go. now she has shown he true colours, you're well shot of her.

Proxy

Proxy wrote:

Myself and my long-term girlfriend broke up 3 weeks ago because she "wanted to see other people". Now i've found out she's got a new boyfriend already, a guy that we both knew previously.

I'm finding it really hard to deal with, and i'm trying to be "ok" with it 'cause I wanted us to still talk and stuff, 'cause we were always very close. Now I feel like i've got nobody. How do you deal with something like that? Anybody got any experiences?

i would really wonder if that was the reason she dumped you , to be with him
in fact i would bet money on it, girls arent that heartless to be back in the saddle (so to say) after 3 weeks so i'd say she def had him on the way

i say keep your distance till you feel you can talk to her properly
because if i were you i'd be feeling angry and betrayed
if you want to talk her (resist the urge to) stay calm
no need to give her the satisfaction

alfa147

she sounds like a stool.. thats weak that she would burn off with another guy three weeks out of a long relationship.

tbh man ive known ex's and friends ex's to do the exact same thing and it shows a flaw in there personality.. girls are insecure to go out with someone cause they don't like being single more than a few months..

u know now that she was'nt for u and u can move on knowing she'll do it again and again.