Getting married

Izzyone

Myself and my partner have decided to get married, I am madly in love with my fiance and never thought that I would meet such an amazing man, you see, I came with baggage and it was never an issue, he took it all on and gave me his all.

We have arranged our wedding for the 1ST of June, we saw the hotel and arranged menus, when we got home I was all excited, UNTIL I spoke to my mother, She said she was very disappointed because my sister is due her baby on the 23rd of May and would not be able for a wedding 9 days after having a baby, a few other issues are:

If she goes over she will miss my wedding,
She will need my mother to look after her three year old,

Basically the issue is the timing, I knew that she was due her baby and we still arranged the wedding so close to her date.

I have five sisters but this particular one is next to me in age, I have always been very close to her and to be honest she has always been like my best friend.

My fiance is not prepared to change the date of the wedding even to a week later,(we are still waiting for a confirmed date from the registry office so it would not be too difficult to do) i really dont think that anyone knows how hurt I am. I always try to please everyone and for once I would like something done for me, I just dont think it is going to happen and I am devastated.

Attol

Is there any particular reason he has for refusing to move the date back by a week or 2? I think it's pretty unreasonable to refuse to change the date if there's not real reason.

CathyMoran

First of all, congradulations on your upcoming wedding. I imagine that your fiance is just concerned about getting all the guests that he would have invited together on a different date - I know that you are supposed to send out the invites about 2 months in advance but some people ask the more distant guests in advance. On the other hand, I do not see why your mum should have to look after her 3 year old for your big day - maybe I am being unreasonable? I know that your wedding is important and you want as many people as possible that you really want at your wedding but that is not always possible - it might be hard to get another date for the reception this year (am getting married myself at around the same time so I do know).

Good luck - and do not let all of this upset you (easier said than done I know).

Gurgle

Izzyone wrote:

I have always been very close to her and to be honest she has always been like my best friend.

My fiance is not prepared to change the date of the wedding even to a week later

Just remember, its your day not his. The groom is just one of your accessories for the day.

Try convincing him with a striptease and a lapdance, us men are pretty easy to manipulate.

Besides, whats wrong with a pregnant bridesmaid and a 3 year old at a wedding?
If she goes into labour during the ceremony, It'll just give you something else to celebrate.
Its a family event anyway.

dbnavan

Gurgle wrote:

Try convincing him with a striptease and a lapdance, us men are pretty easy to manipulate.

Really Mature attitude :rolleyes:

This is your big day you do whatever it takes to make you BOTH happy, you only get married once, there is no point in saying after the fact that I wish my sister had been there, some of my wifes family couldnt make it to our wedding cause they where in america and couldnt make it, she always regrets them not being able to be there,

Dont look back on ur wedding thinking....I wish she had been there. Your still waiting for confirmation so now is the time to change it. And tell your husband not to be so selfish, and thats ANOTHER MARRIED MAN saying that.

You do this only once in ur life, get it right.

Eminem

If your other half wont wait for you well then thats wrong and you deserve better then that

Nevyn

It is their wedding and thier paying for it and they shoudl tell everyone selse they are lucky to be invited.

py2006

dbnavan wrote:

you only get married once.

Maybe in early holy catholic Ireland were people were forced to stay in unhappy marriages! Thats not the case today! Everybody would like that to be the case but its not always gonna be that way!

Why is it that weddings always seem to bring up tension within the family! A friend of mine decided to go to Australia and get married! Just the 2 of them - no family! She was pissed off with the arguments and bitchiness surrounding it!

The Sweeper

Izzyone wrote:

Basically the issue is the timing, I knew that she was due her baby and we still arranged the wedding so close to her date.

...then I'm kind of confused about how you seem to be surprised that this has now messed things up for you?

...and if your fiance is refusing to consider another date, I think you need to address that too...

Ickle Magoo

Congrats on your wedding!

Just out of curiosity, if you are like best friends with your sis & you knew her EDD, why did you book your wedding for that date? We asked around our parents, siblings, rellies and anyone else we really wanted at our wedding to try and ensure all were available on a particular date and that was the date we went for.....maybe get two or three possible dates and phone around everyone you want there & see if you can find a date that suits the majority.....

I don't agree that only the bride & groom matter and everyone else should be grateful for an invite.....I think couples who think that way are better off having a wedding abroad with just the two of them....if you want guests, you want them happy and you obviously care about your sis & mother attending or you wouldn't have posted.....

I think if you really want your sis there then your hubby to be is being a tad unreasonable by not changing dates if it is easy and costs little or nothing to do so.....why is he refusing to change dates?

WhiteWashMan

Izzyone wrote:

Myself and my partner have decided to get married, I am madly in love with my fiance and never thought that I would meet such an amazing man, you see, I came with baggage and it was never an issue, he took it all on and gave me his all.

We have arranged our wedding for the 1ST of June, we saw the hotel and arranged menus, when we got home I was all excited, UNTIL I spoke to my mother, She said she was very disappointed because my sister is due her baby on the 23rd of May and would not be able for a wedding 9 days after having a baby, a few other issues are:

If she goes over she will miss my wedding,
She will need my mother to look after her three year old,

Basically the issue is the timing, I knew that she was due her baby and we still arranged the wedding so close to her date.

I have five sisters but this particular one is next to me in age, I have always been very close to her and to be honest she has always been like my best friend.

My fiance is not prepared to change the date of the wedding even to a week later,(we are still waiting for a confirmed date from the registry office so it would not be too difficult to do) i really dont think that anyone knows how hurt I am. I always try to please everyone and for once I would like something done for me, I just dont think it is going to happen and I am devastated.

its your day and the most important thing is for you to enjoy yourself. you need to do the thing that is best for you.
if you need your family there, then you have to move the wedding. if you can go through life with not having had your mother and sister at your wedding, then do it.

if you partner is not prepared to move the wedding, then he is being selfish, and he should understand what you need.

lazydaisy

What stage of planning are you at with it? Have you already ordered and sent out invites?

Izzyone

First of all; my partner is not selfish, he would do anything for me, he is just fed up of people taking advantage of me and putting me under pressure.

Secondly, we got excited about booking the wedding and I suppose I didn't really think about the due date.

We called thehotel today and moved the wedding to the 8th of June, it gives an extra week so all will be well.

My fiance is also a member of boards,so,if you are reading this, I Love you with all my heart. You complete me and thank you for being so understanding.

tk123

Izzyone wrote:

My fiance is also a member of boards,so,if you are reading this, I Love you with all my heart. You complete me and thank you for being so understanding.

awwwww Anyhoos why not make the 3yr old flowergirl/pageboy (sp?) then at least your mum will be there if your sis isn't!

Victor

Dear Mr. Groom to be.

What happends if the sister goes into labout on the morning of the wedding?

Victor

I suggest you secretly get married as soon as possible and have the reception separately.

dbnavan

py2006 wrote:

Maybe in early holy catholic Ireland were people were forced to stay in unhappy marriages! Thats not the case today! Everybody would like that to be the case but its not always gonna be that way!

Obviously, I meant people set out to get married once, u dont get married saying "We'll give it a go" :rolleyes:

I amnt that stupid, the way people pick things up & twist them on this these boards is rediculous.

freebird

I think your boyfriend's initial refusal to change a simple date so that you could accommodate your loved ones is grounds for divorce.

Seriously though, isn't it a dodgy set-up when you have to post the problem on "boards" in order to sort it out between you and your boyfriend? If you can't communicate at a level that allows you to sort out something like the date for your wedding how well equiped is your relationahip to sort out life's REAL issues and problems that lie ahead in your married life? Sorry but just couldn't help wondering this while reading the thread.


.

Nevyn

People come and ask for advice here often to clarify or try think things throught fro themselves, before talking to a loved so they don't get two upset or to get thier arguments straight and to make sure they are not over reacting.

foggy

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding.

I'm glad that the hotel could change the booking for you.
I wish you and your hubbie to be every happiness.

chuckles30

Izzy, I was at a wedding last year and the brides sister was there and she had only left the hospital the day before the wedding. The baby of less than a week old was also at the wedding. Presumably all your family will be at the wedding so there should be plenty of people to look after the 3 year old. If your sister books a room in the hotel where the reception is, she can always go up and have a lie-down if it all gets too much for her at any stage.

Gurgle

dbnavan wrote:

Really Mature attitude :rolleyes:

Well thats how my wife manipulates me!
And hey - everybody wins

Megatron

Gurgle wrote:

Just remember, its your day not his. The groom is just one of your accessories for the day.

Very unhelpful.

Well things got sorted for the better , so Good luck on the day.


and of course Congratz and remember.

If you can't be good. Take lots of Piccys