How to get some quality alone time?

LegacyUser

Hi all,

I'm looking for some creative thinking, or something.

Here's my (mini in comparison to other threads) problem.

I've been going out with my bf for just under 6 months.
We love each other very much & really really enjoy each others company.
We don't live outrageously far away from each other but we both live with our parents.
We're both in our 20's & both are sexually active (well once upon a time anyway!!!)

That's my problem:- In the last 3 months we've only had sex ONCE!!!!!!
My house is always full of people, so it's a no no.
He doesn't feel right doing it in his house, nor have I gotten him round to doing it in the car (desperate times & all!!!)
We don't have the money to fork out on a B&B or hotel every weekend just to get some,
We don't have friends in our area with houses that we could stay over in.

It's really starting to get to me now.
I'm absolutely crazy about him, even just thinking about him gets me horny, I'm thinking about sex with him now almost 24/7 & the lack of intimacy is starting to get me down as I can't see any real solution.

Surely, we can go away every few months, but what do I do in the mean time?
& don't mention a rampant rabbit anyone!!! I don't even have the privacy for that in my home!!!

Also, it's too soon for us to get our own place, so I don't think that's an option either.

Does anyone have an suggestions?

I guess the reason why it's bothering me SO much is that the beginning of a relationship is supposed to be the most exciting / steamiest.
If this is ours at present, I hate to think what it'd be like when the novelty wears off.

What ye think?

I had this problem once upon a time and still kinda do (his bed is broken)
get a car
pref one that the seats in the front go back a good bit
or one that has a good backseat
go to a secluded area and have fun!!
remember to use protection and all that as well

jcoote

book a weekend away somewhere or even just stay in a hotel for the night

Khannie

Realistically, if you can't get anywhere private in your locality, and you can't afford B&B / hotel, you're looking at a car / outdoors. Or, at least, I can't think of any other options off the top of my head (I'll keep this one brewing in the background though...so I may come back to you).

Bring him for a walk somewhere secluded and JUMP HIS ASS! Excitement-fest.

LegacyUser

Why doesn't he feel right doing it in his house? Is he living with his parents? That doesn''t really make sense to me

tirl

Camping springs to mind, but you might want to wait for the weather to heat up a bit. Are you both working, you can get hotel rooms for as little as €39/49 a night, between two it's not so expensive. Eat at home before you go and bring a bottle of wine and enjoy. You can check in most places between 12 and 2 so then you could possible have 24 hours before checkout again.

Does he want it as bad as you...doesn't feel right doing it at his house, doesn't want to do it in the car.......is this all one sided?

misswex

Yeah the first thing I was going to suggest was a car with those great lever front seats but then I read on and it seems to be very one sided:

- He doesn't want to do it in a car
- He doesn't feel comfortable doing it at his house.

That leaves very little options to be honest except camping or paying for hotels.

LegacyUser

tirl wrote:

Does he want it as bad as you...doesn't feel right doing it at his house, doesn't want to do it in the car.......is this all one sided?

Yea, I've been starting to wonder that myself (only Very recently though)

He never gives me reason to think this other than the obvious.

I mean when we do get the chance for a bit of action (with the clothes still on though), he's seriously into it & even initiates it.

I think he may just be a bit shy towards it, or maybe thinks it's wrong (well expecially in his folks house) & perhaps just a bit afraid of getting caught in the car.

TBH, I haven't really mentioned the car bit too seriously as I just get the feeling it wouldn't be his scene.

I did mention the fact to him (a while back) that I was getting slighly frustrated & didn't want to have to fork out a load of cash everytime I want some (no cheap accomodation where we're from:- complete rip off).
He said we'd sort something out, but since then he hasn't said a word about it.

seamus

Since you're female, you have the upper hand here. Just get him hot and bothered when you have some alone time in his house, and he'll be chomping at the bit...

Kali

- He doesn't want to do it in a car
- He doesn't feel comfortable doing it at his house.

Cars are fantastic... this guy needs a bit more encouragement obviously... just make sure you find the right places

LegacyUser

Sorry,

Yes, he also lives with his parents in their house & they would be very much no sex under their roof & he abides by the rules.

Mine is the same, but given the chance of a free house I'd go for it.

We've been at his on numerous occasions with the place to ourselves & most times it never even comes close to a shag. On a few occasions it's come V close but then he just cools things down before he lets things happen.

I do understand about the house thing, it's just frustrating.
In my last relationship we could do it at his whenever so this behaving like 15year olds is starting to piss me off!

Because I've already told him the situation is getting to me, I don't want to keep going on about it (putting a lot of pressure on him) but I really just want him to surprise me some night by driving somewhere quiet & going for it hell for leather!!!!
He definitely knows I'm up for it so it's not fear of rejection that would stop him.

It's just SO frustrating!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

tirl

TimeToOurselves wrote:

We've been at his on numerous occasions with the place to ourselves & most times it never even comes close to a shag. On a few occasions it's come V close but then he just cools things down before he lets things happen.

I would worry about the above, surely even if someone came back unannounced, if you are in the privacy of his bedroom, then confrontation with whoever has returned is avoidable.

Think you are going to have to sit him down and spell it out

py2006

There could be more to it than you think! Perhaps he is feels he may not be able to preform! It could be something real personal!

I was never able to have sex with my girlfriend in my own house, especially as my granny slept in the room next door! :eek:

All she had to do was wear a skirt and we were going at it outdoors or at her place.

ando

TimeToOurselves wrote:

It's just SO frustrating!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

Jesus girl give me your number !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

py2006

ando wrote:

Jesus girl give me your number !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Haha, worth a try I guess!

kittenkiller

Once in 3 months?

I'm in the same situation with my boyfriend but we save & splurge on a hotel about once a month to treat ourselves & just have to be adventurous & descrete for the rest of the month.

Get new friends & crash at theirs or make use of it during the day.

College campuses usually have a few secluded spots & any security around'd be well used to that sort of thing.

Ag marbh

TimeToOurselves wrote:

We've been at his on numerous occasions with the place to ourselves & most times it never even comes close to a shag. On a few occasions it's come V close but then he just cools things down before he lets things happen.

That's not normal at all.

Most parents wouldn't like sex under there roofs but any chance I get the door gets locked even with my sister putting my nephew to sleep in the next room tonight. Your boyfriend deff has some issue(s).......

LegacyUser

ando wrote:

Jesus girl give me your number !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for the offer Ando, but it's not as simple as that!

I'm gagging to shag my BF, not anyone else.

This is even more strange to me, because with my ex my sex drive had pretty much plummeted to zero, now it's all I'm thinking about.

As for the college campus idea:- I'm afraid those days are gone a LONG time ago.

As for the weekends away:- we both have a lot on at weekends, so it's not that often it suits to go away, in fact I had this weekend penciled in for going away, but it had to fall through, so now it'll be who knows how long before we get a chance to go away again & if I can't get him talked into somewhere else I don't know what I'm going to do.

I mean, even him just stroking my back makes me want to explode at this stage!!!

Can't be healthy!!!

We are just so amazing in every other way (& even in that way when we get the chance). To me (might sound sickly sweet to my fellow boardsters) sex is a way for me to show him how much I love him, how much I care for him etc. It's something really special to me (even if it's only a 'wham bam thankyou mam' session) & to not get to share that with the one I love on a regular basis is killing me.

Nevyn

Time to look at moving out of your parents houses.
The reasons above used to be why people got married so they could get some.
Can you find a place to rent/buy ?

Really shame we don't have love motels in this country.

chuckles30

I'm not sure what your situation is regarding working etc, but maybe you should think about moving out of home? You don't necessarily have to move in with your bf. Have you ever thought about house-sharing? You have your own room then & your bf can call over to your place.

UberNewb

I'll rent you a cheap room in my house. Just ignore the webcams!

CJhaughey

Borrow a Van from a mate, surely you know some builder that doesn't use his van in the weekends?
Get an old mattress and park up somewhere quiet.
happy days!

LegacyUser

UberNewb wrote:

I'll rent you a cheap room in my house. Just ignore the webcams!

Ha Ha!!!!!

(Doubt if you'd want to see my bluer than blue (as only us Irish can achieve) arse!!!)

Yes, getting my own place would be a solution.

I actually own a house (& I know you're all thinking (& I even think the same sometimes myself) that there's my answer) but I've a tenant in it.

The tenant is really really good, never gives any hassle, pays on time, pays my full mortgage & more!

When the tenant moved in they stated that they'd love to keep the house for 2 years before moving countries.
They've been in it less than a year & I'd hate to turf them out (but for obvious selfish reasons, I'd love to)

I've done the house sharing thing & I'd rather not go down that road again, except with a partner.
I know my tenant also doesn't want to house share which is why they're paying for an entire house on their own.
I couldn't really afford the mortgage, bills etc on my own every month & I don't think my bf is anywhere near ready for us to move in together.

I've lived with partners in the past so it's not a big deal to me, but he hasn't.

I know my house is my answer & it goes through my head all the time, but I'm just not that sure I could do that.

Would you?

chuckles30

Well given that you've ruled out most of the accommodation suggestions put forward, it looks like you're back to the car or as suggested by somebody, borrow a van.

yeah exactly back to a car/van
it sounds like your only option for getting some quality time alone
theres nothing wrong with it as long as your not caught

X-SL

`lol he doesn't sound like an average guy!

Ickle Magoo

I'd be asking why your fella seems to be coming up with every excuse in the book to avoid having sex?! In my experience, given a choice between abstenance and finding an alternative - men are surprisingly resourceful!