chuck norris

ali.g

since there is a chuck norris night in tullys during rag week anyone wnat to get the ball rolling with some chuck norris jokes...ill start em off anyways i think this one is really funny....

Chuck Norris once got into a time machine to stop JFK's assasination. He deflected the bullets with his amazing beard. JFK was so impressed, his head exploded.

ali.g

Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk and kill.


Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris’s girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, “HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!” and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend’s bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, “Don’t **** with Chuck!” Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress

Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking

daithimac

ali.g wrote:

since there is a chuck norris night in tullys during rag week.

GOOD GOD IN JAPAN!!!!
which night is it going to be

ali.g

i think its tuesday night but ill find out for sure.....im trying to grow a beard for it haha

The_B_Man

haha nice one!

tho like, wat will the night involve? ppl goin around sayin that chuck norris can eat his own head and he invented the lightbulb and such?

s4dd

that is possibly the coolest thing i have ever heard EVER... although i'm totally going dressed up as bruce lee

daithimac

s4dd wrote:

that is possibly the coolest thing i have ever heard EVER... although i'm totally going dressed up as bruce lee

this could result in the world record for roundhouse kicks being set
I'm seriously going to dye my hair ginger for the occasion. Also going to get a pair of jeans 6 sizes too small for me.

Kiith

daithimac wrote:

I'm seriously going to dye my hair ginger for the occasion.

trust me, it aint worth it

Redrocket

dont fúck with the chuck

blu_sonic

i swear i was about to post the exact same post as stevenk, freakin' me out man!!!!

The_B_Man

well he did post it 8 hours before u! u should've had time to think of sumtin new, like!

Aard

http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/
"Chuck Norris uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper. "

elvis2002

ah, this is the coolest thing I ever heard.

"Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull. "
"MacGyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can roundhouse-kick his head through a wall and take it."

blu_sonic

on the 4,378 occasions that chuck and mr t deflowered the same virgin, the ensuing battle between their sperm caused her to explode.

balkieb2002

well he did post it 8 hours before u! u should've had time to think of sumtin new, like!

LMFAO


Sidenote:
What the god is with the current obsession with chuch norris???

blu_sonic

correction:
what in chuck norris's name is our obsession with chuck norriss???