2 men-cant choose

LegacyUser

Hope this isnt another head wrecker of a thread. Ill get straight to the point. I need some advice.

Broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years 6 months ago (his decision). He moved back to where he is from. As hard as it was, we had no contact during this time.

Had a hard time, as you do, was a big part of me. The split was very painful.

He got in contact with me recently. On the very same day (oh, the timing) he gets in contact, I meet another guy.

So my ex wants me back. Is mad to get me back. I dont want to seem like a player, Im not, ive never been in this situation before.

So I have been seeing new guy for last 5 weeks or so. Things are going just "ok". I do like this new guy alot, but Im not sure he takes such an interest in me. Ok I know its early days, but I was expecting something different. He is very relaxed when it comes to seeing me.

My ex now wants to meet up. I have told me ex that I have been seeing someone else, but that I havent slept with the new guy (I have-just didnt want to hurt his feelings).

I always thought that my ex was the love of my life. I suffered immensely after the split. Now, maybe its a case of "out of sight, out of mind". I cant tell what my feelings are for him anymore. He has promised the sun, moon and stars, but of course I am weary.

I dont know what to do. I havent told this new guy about my ex wanting to meet up. Dont know if its a good idea (or that the new guy would even care). In anycase, if the new guy wasnt in the picture, I am wondering if I would go back to my ex anways.

Am seriously confused and I dont want to be leading anyone on. My heart is broken from this and am seriously anxious. I dont know what to do.

I made this deal with myself last nite (praying for a sign), that if the new guy didnt contact me today, then it was a sign that it wouldnt work. Well he hasnt contacted me so far anyways. But this evening my ex rings for a chat, big interest in me, good conversation, lots of things to say.

My head is in such as mess.

AngryBadger

You're adraid if you get back with your ex you'll get hurt again, but you're not sure if there's anything really going on with the new guy. Youd like to tel the ex that you're not interested, because you're with this new guy, but maybe the new guy isn't going to be around much longer, and you miss your ex.

Odds are, if you then the new guy isn't that interested then maybe he isn't, not meaning to be a jerk, but you should trust your instincts. if that is the case, then it's a question of whether or not you want to get back with your ex. If the break up was only 6 months ago, it's possible that after 3 years he wanted to try something else, so maybe it'll work out this time. At the end of the day you have to decide.

I'd say the new fella is not going anywhere. but I don't know what you should about the ex, if it was me I['d probably say no, but tbh, tghat would be half out of spite.

Fanny Cradock

head wreck alright.

people break up for a reason. rarely do the difficulties that caused a relationship to break down just dissappear. would it really work out if you guys got back together? could you trust your ex not to do the same thing 6 months down the line?

to be honest, neither of them seem right for you. if i was in your situation, i would tell the ex that he had his chance (it's selfish of him comming back after you started to move on) and tell the other guy to show a bit of interest or piss off (those words exactly ).


maybe you don't need either of them right now.

then again, what the hell do i know?

p.s. i'm single

little miss

Seriously agree with the post above, might well be better just to be on your own for a while. Nothing wrong with being single! If its meant to be with the ex, something will happen in the future. And if things were great with the new guy, you wouldn't be even thinking about the ex...

Take some time out, catch up with friends and just enjoy some freedom. Then, you might realise what or who it is you really want to be with....

Good luck!

Tiriel

Well.. you are not over your ex.. so the new relationship isn't going to go anywhere anyway. You need to think of yourself, your own needs and I think you might just need space. Give yourself time to think, and time to decide what you want out of a relationship. If your ex really wants you back then he will give you time.

The new guy.. well he's probably better off out of this one! He has no idea the pool he has gotten himself into..

Think of your future.. not your past;)

LegacyUser

Was in a similiar situation myself. I cant emphasis this enough but DO NOT GO BACK TO YOUR EX!!!!

Seriously i was going out this guy. I thought the absolute world of him. I looked up to him. I valued his opion. I was able to open up+ talk to him, + on some issues almost more then some of my very close friends. I just thought he was the most amazing unique individual i had ever met. And that this was the best relationship i had ever had and would ever have, regardless of the differences/petty arguments we had. Anyway, he dumped me+crushed my heart. I was devastated. But we kinda kept sleeping together. I soon grew weary of being used. So i ended up meeting this other guy. Ended up really liking him. Then my ex decides he wants me back. I fall for his lines. Then he dumps me again.

Men want what they can't have. Especially if they think someone else has you.

Dont go back to your ex outta fear of the unknown.
Dont let him manipulate you +pressurize you into getting back together. If he really loves you he should respect the fact that you might need time away from him + that might involve seeing other people.

Dragan

Why go back to an ex who made you feel so bad?????

Ickle Magoo

I've been in this situation & I told both men to leave me alone......I reckon if you are considering getting back with your ex, you don't really want the new man (if he is the first man you've gone out with since the split - I think the chances are; it isn't going to last anyway....) but why would you go back to a man that dumped you 6months ago? Why did he dump you? Why is he back now? Is it a case of wanting to have his cake & eat it? Doesn't seem very fair on you either way.....

Not sure why you are lying to an ex re sleeping with your new man to save his feelings, either?! This guy dumped you, you have the right to sleep with whomever, whenever you want.....doesn't seem a very auspicious start to getting back with your ex if you are lying to him already......it is a really confusing situation & I think you have to ask yourself (and him?) why your ex didn't want to be in a relationship with you 6months ago but does now & see if you are satisfied with his answer.....5wks is really not long enough to say whether you have a future with your new man & of course it my seem better for your confidence & ego in the short term & much less work to slip back into a relationship with your ex....just make sure you choose the man for the right reasons.....you! Best of luck

LegacyUser

Don't go back to the ex. F'get about him. Don't stay "friends" either. I know you're not the reason you broke up because he's the one who ended it, but in fairness you've already lied to him for the sake of not hurting him. So what then if you get back with him? Will you come clean then and tell him that you lied?

Sorry to be harsh, but there's still a bit of growing up to do there I reckon.