my guilt of being a boyfriend

Rockstar*

Im 23 and my girlfriends great--shes smart, intelligent, cute and although we've only been together around 3 months I know she would do anything and everything for me which i totally appreciate...

Thing is - I know shes not the one and i KNOW ,even if i give it time, ill never fall in love with her

Its been bugging me a bit lately that Ive been thinking of this, its also been itching away at me that although i enjoy her company I know Id enjoy myself with someone else even more if the right girl came along...I probably had better fun with my ex girlfriends that I called it with:eek:

Does anyone else in a relationship ever think likewise ? Im starting to feel guilty about going out with her now because i know that its only a matter of time before i meet some1 else and although i know its inevitable i hurt her(unless she calls it with me!!) I still dont want to stop seeing each other because she makes me happy

projectmayhem

don't expect to fall in love after 3 months man...

also, if you're sure you'd rather be mates, then be mates. don't stick around for another 5 or 6 months and break up. the longer you roll with it the harder the break up'll be.

so you have to decide if you want to date her or not. and not to be a bastard or anything, but valentine's is coming up so you may want to work on timing if you decide to be mates

jimmycrackcorm

* you're young
* it's not the right time but might be in the future
* you don't realise what you've got until it's gone.

or you could be right...

Nevyn

Look if you happy and having fun then leave it at that.
If she starts getting more serious or wants to and you start having serious chats about 'your' future together then talk to her about it.

AngryBadger

I'd be inclined to bail if you think she's into it more than you. Seems a bit unfair, and you're pretty much allowing her to believe that you're into it to the same degree.

Airblazer

Rockstar* wrote:

Im 23 and my girlfriends great--shes smart, intelligent, cute and although we've only been together around 3 months I know she would do anything and everything for me which i totally appreciate...

Thing is - I know shes not the one and i KNOW ,even if i give it time, ill never fall in love with her

Its been bugging me a bit lately that Ive been thinking of this, its also been itching away at me that although i enjoy her company I know Id enjoy myself with someone else even more if the right girl came along...I probably had better fun with my ex girlfriends that I called it with:eek:

Does anyone else in a relationship ever think likewise ? Im starting to feel guilty about going out with her now because i know that its only a matter of time before i meet some1 else and although i know its inevitable i hurt her(unless she calls it with me!!) I still dont want to stop seeing each other because she makes me happy

that's what i thought too..so i broke it off..about 1 day later i realised i fvcked up bigtime but was too stubborn to admit it

Racheal Green

I know what you mean both me and my best friend are having the exact same problem.She has one guy who is like her best friend and they get in really well but she doesnt know how he feels about her.And then she has a guy who is totally mad over her and she feels nothing in comparasion to the other guy.

Then my situation, very similiar to yours, we have been dating for the last while,he's great, smart, kind, good looking and goes to the gym every second day.

BUT...My last relationships have been better. Just dont know wheather to stick with him for the sake of it, and because we get on so well, or go back to single status and hope for something better..
So what have you decided to do, it might give ME an idea of what to do..Also in need of advice..:)

Bitsie

there is no point going out with someone just because you get on well, you need that spark too. otherwise its not fair on either of you. you need to explain this to them before they get too attached to you as a partner. you cant go through life with someone thinking there could be someone better out there for me. if it turns out that person WAS the one for you will come back together naturally.

Rockstar*

Thanks for the replies everyone

Bitsie-I know where you're coming from, but I dont really agree . What you're saying more or less implies that you shouldnt go out with someone unless you KNOW theyre the "one"....sure you gotta have a bit of fun along the way to meeting that person and not only that ,theres a lot to experience and many lessons good & bad to learn from these relationships

Rachael- I was tired of being single when I met my girlfriend so I suppose that was a little bit of the reason I was so easy going about us going out, but I think Ive realised now that in a way im kinda tied down and obviously cant see anybody else ( i wouldnt do the dirt )...this wouldnt be a problem at all If I was in love or even just a little bit obsessed with her, which I think really should be the case if you are going to go out with someone in the 1st place

Im gonna just go with the flow for the time being because as i said i DO enjoy going out with her despite the small negatives and even though im not completely fussy shes the first girl ive met in a good while that i even considered going out with!....if Im really really honest though Id admit that If someone i really liked came along,id probably consider calling it

I even feel guilty writing this post because im normally honest and open about these things .. for example even though i was well into my ex girlfriend i called it with her because I plain and simple didnt want to cheat on her and found myself interested in other women while I was out with friends etc

still bugged about it but going out on the pisss tonight in town so happy days;)

Racheal Green

Have a good night out tonight, was thinking about what you said,and think ill do the same. I know its really mean but he knows the story and knows deep down he's not THE ONE for me either, so really he's doing the same.

But what if you have found THE ONE and are still with your boyfriend/girlfriend..What would you do then..? dump her straight away..?

Rockstar*

fight with g/f last night funny enough! shes hard work sometimes!!alright now though...

if I did find the one im sure id feel too strongly for her NOT to call it with my girlfriend but i dont expect to find her anytime soon cause its not as if im out looking for women at the moment ya know.......

Ickle Magoo

I think if you are looking for a serious relationship, even out of the corner of your eye, then you should end things and get looking properly.....but if you are only after a bit of fun - and your g/f feels the same, then no harm done....

I kind of agree with Bitsie.....I only went out with a man until I discovered they weren't the one for me - then I ended it. This sometimes takes a couple of months or a couple of yrs, on one occassion 4yrs :rolleyes:, so it's not just a case of ending the relationship after the first date and I always had fun in the interim - it's just it sometimes takes me a while to fall out of love or realise I want something different or more from a man.....but once I knew they were not the right man for me I ended the relationship as I didn't think I had anything to gain from going out with a man I didn't ultimately want to be with, other than being unavailable for or overlooking one I did....best of luck

fun bus

i think bitsie and ickle magoo got it right!! prob better to nip it in the bud if needs be. sometimes it doesnt help to be overly concerned about the other person-you could end up hurting them even more in the long run.

ando

Rockstar* wrote:

if Im really really honest though Id admit that If someone i really liked came along,id probably consider calling it

you'd probably consider it... yea right, you'd dump her in a second. Your using her, imo

fun bus

thats a bit harsh!

LegacyUser

Stick with her, if she say she loves you, tell her you don't love her. Simple.

No saving graces or white lies to keep her happy, just be open and honest.