How do i know if he feels that same way..?

Racheal Green

Ok to start from the start.It's long but please bare with me..
Me and Paddy have been friends for the last two and a half years. We met through college and got to know each other really well because i dated his flatmate for a few months. Me and Paddy always seemed close,even from day one we hit it off,even my ex/his flatmate used to remark on how close we were, and admitted that he was jealous of our relationship numerous times.
Paddy admitted to my ex that he fancied me,but said he would never act on it because of their friendship. Paddy was a best friend that i confided everything in and viceversa. It was when my ex/his flatmate broke it off with me unexpectantly (he had been seeing someone else behind my back) that me and Paddy started to get even closer(friendshipwise). We would spend all day, chatting over little things, workmates and friends that were driving us mad and what we were planning for the future.

Me and Paddy were close, but because of how it ended with my ex, i would never call over to his to avoid the tension with me and my ex..
Anyway after some time,Paddy admited to me that he Loved me and had from the first time he saw me, and by the situation and the way he said it,it seemed as if he was telling the truth.Everything seemed to be perfect as i had felt this way too but was afraid that if i said anything it would scare him off or ruin our friendship.

Two weeks later his ex of two-three years and his first real love(who was also friends with me), turned up and wanted to give it another go,i let him go because i wanted him to be happy,and at least he would never live with the regret of whatif..then two weeks later she rings me up saying that he broke it off with her, because he was love with someone else.

I never got to talk to him properly about it because i was leaving for Spain and hes was away in England on business..
So i gave him a letter explaining everything.
Then unexpectantly i had to stay in Ireland and cancel my Spain plans.
So during the summer he got back with his girlfriend(girl above), thinking that i was still in Spain.And because of her jealous steak when i texted him she would starting fights between me and Paddy.
So I just got so annoyed with it i decided not to text him.
Then xmas he text me again, still with the girl,so i just tried to ignore and forget about him.Then during this week we got back talking again we both apogised for the way we acted, decided to start again (as friends,My suggestion).We met up friday and talked about what we had done over the summer,about college and general conversation.It felt like we were back to normally, even slightly flirted with each other..All the old feelings came back..

What im asking your opinion on is if i should be friends with him again, risk him breaking my heart all over again or give him a second chance as he might feel the same way as i do.. dont want to say any of this to him in case i scare him away..
So what would you do..?

Sorry its so long a thread, but had too explain everything..:)

0utshined

tl;dr

WhiteWashMan

Racheal Green wrote:

Ok to start from the start.It's long but please bare with me..
Me and Paddy have been friends for the last two and a half years. We met through college and got to know each other really well because i dated his flatmate for a few months. Me and Paddy always seemed close,even from day one we hit it off,even my ex/his flatmate used to remark on how close we were, and admitted that he was jealous of our relationship numerous times.
Paddy admitted to my ex that he fancied me,but said he would never act on it because of their friendship. Paddy was a best friend that i confided everything in and viceversa. It was when my ex/his flatmate broke it off with me unexpectantly (he had been seeing someone else behind my back) that me and Paddy started to get even closer(friendshipwise). We would spend all day, chatting over little things, workmates and friends that were driving us mad and what we were planning for the future.

Me and Paddy were close, but because of how it ended with my ex, i would never call over to his to avoid the tension with me and my ex..
Anyway after some time,Paddy admited to me that he Loved me and had from the first time he saw me, and by the situation and the way he said it,it seemed as if he was telling the truth.Everything seemed to be perfect as i had felt this way too but was afraid that if i said anything it would scare him off or ruin our friendship.

Two weeks later his ex of two-three years and his first real love(who was also friends with me), turned up and wanted to give it another go,i let him go because i wanted him to be happy,and at least he would never live with the regret of whatif..then two weeks later she rings me up saying that he broke it off with her, because he was love with someone else.

I never got to talk to him properly about it because i was leaving for Spain and hes was away in England on business..
So i gave him a letter explaining everything.
Then unexpectantly i had to stay in Ireland and cancel my Spain plans.
So during the summer he got back with his girlfriend(girl above), thinking that i was still in Spain.And because of her jealous steak when i texted him she would starting fights between me and Paddy.
So I just got so annoyed with it i decided not to text him.
Then xmas he text me again, still with the girl,so i just tried to ignore and forget about him.Then during this week we got back talking again we both apogised for the way we acted, decided to start again (as friends,My suggestion).We met up friday and talked about what we had done over the summer,about college and general conversation.It felt like we were back to normally, even slightly flirted with each other..All the old feelings came back..

What im asking your opinion on is if i should be friends with him again, risk him breaking my heart all over again or give him a second chance as he might feel the same way as i do.. dont want to say any of this to him in case i scare him away..
So what would you do..?

Sorry its so long a thread, but had too explain everything..:)

go out, have a nice dinner with each other, go home, have great sex and then decide to go out with each other, two weeks later break up.

at least you gave it a go, and figured out then that it appears you are better off as friends, and from that point onwards dont talk to each other.

it sounds like you like him, but i dont see any pro active engagement on your behlaf. it doesnt seem you like you make any effort to be with him. you didnt even tell him you hadnt gone to spain. he makes all the running.

are you really that interested?

all seems a bit playground to me. but really, go with my first piece of advice. go out for dinner and talk, just go weith what your first instincts are. if youre attracted, have sex, if its more, go out with him.
if in your heart you want more, then dont go out with him again.

Third_Echelon

Racheal Green wrote:

Ok to start from the start.It's long but please bare with me..
Me and Paddy have been friends for the last two and a half years. We met through college and got to know each other really well because i dated his flatmate for a few months. Me and Paddy always seemed close,even from day one we hit it off,even my ex/his flatmate used to remark on how close we were, and admitted that he was jealous of our relationship numerous times.
Paddy admitted to my ex that he fancied me,but said he would never act on it because of their friendship. Paddy was a best friend that i confided everything in and viceversa. It was when my ex/his flatmate broke it off with me unexpectantly (he had been seeing someone else behind my back) that me and Paddy started to get even closer(friendshipwise). We would spend all day, chatting over little things, workmates and friends that were driving us mad and what we were planning for the future.

Me and Paddy were close, but because of how it ended with my ex, i would never call over to his to avoid the tension with me and my ex..
Anyway after some time,Paddy admited to me that he Loved me and had from the first time he saw me, and by the situation and the way he said it,it seemed as if he was telling the truth.Everything seemed to be perfect as i had felt this way too but was afraid that if i said anything it would scare him off or ruin our friendship.

Two weeks later his ex of two-three years and his first real love(who was also friends with me), turned up and wanted to give it another go,i let him go because i wanted him to be happy,and at least he would never live with the regret of whatif..then two weeks later she rings me up saying that he broke it off with her, because he was love with someone else.

I never got to talk to him properly about it because i was leaving for Spain and hes was away in England on business..
So i gave him a letter explaining everything.
Then unexpectantly i had to stay in Ireland and cancel my Spain plans.
So during the summer he got back with his girlfriend(girl above), thinking that i was still in Spain.And because of her jealous steak when i texted him she would starting fights between me and Paddy.
So I just got so annoyed with it i decided not to text him.
Then xmas he text me again, still with the girl,so i just tried to ignore and forget about him.Then during this week we got back talking again we both apogised for the way we acted, decided to start again (as friends,My suggestion).We met up friday and talked about what we had done over the summer,about college and general conversation.It felt like we were back to normally, even slightly flirted with each other..All the old feelings came back..

What im asking your opinion on is if i should be friends with him again, risk him breaking my heart all over again or give him a second chance as he might feel the same way as i do.. dont want to say any of this to him in case i scare him away..
So what would you do..?

Sorry its so long a thread, but had too explain everything..:)

WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!!!!!*
*sorry couldn't resist that one

Really, what have you got to lose?

If it doesn't work out then, what the heck... At least you gave it a shot.

Ickle Magoo

OP,

You said you gave this man the chance of going back with his ex or he'd always be wondering "what if?".....why not give yourself the same luxury?? You know the worst that can happen is that it doesn't work and you get a broken heart but anyone can give you that....remember that through all of this the one constant is yourself & Paddy remaining friends - that's got to count for something....

Go out together, have a good chat, a good drink and perhaps even a good snog - then find out how you both want to proceed....best of luck

Racheal Green

Hey thanks for all the replies, and to whitewashman we have slept together, a couple of times actually. Did tell him i was back from spain, but because he was with the other girl i left i should just leave it as it was and we just stayed friends..
I know it all sounds extremely immature, he knows i like him, and he told me that he apparently LOVES me, but maybe things have changed since then..i dont know..?
Think I will take up all your advice though, invite him into for a drink. And if it all goes pearshaped, what the hell at least i tried, plenty more fish in the sea and more fun to be had..Ill update you on the situation..

Racheal Green

Hey guys its been a while but it worked out, went for a drink the last night,got talking and catched up on old times. We just chatted about general things. Then Valentines day, we meet up for lunch, got chatting about old times and got talking slightly on the topic of how it ended.?
Aparently he wasnt with his ex anymore, and starting talking about all the fun and things we did together last year and how he misses them so much and wants to go back to the way things were.Me and him and the fun we used to have..
And just at the presise time he admitted this to me, work friend came over for a Quick chat,And asked "HOW MY BOYFRIEND WAS" i had been dating a guy two days before i got talking to Paddy, had broken it off with him, out of guilt for feelings towards Paddy.

Told Paddy later on that i wasnt going out with the guy anymore. And now Me and Paddy are back together..

So glad that you all told me to go out to dinner/ drink with him..
So thanks guys for listening tto me ramble on, but it all worked out in the end...:)

Ickle Magoo

Aww! *wipes tear from eye* I love a happy ending! :):)

Puff Puff Pass

So Did ya bone him yet?

Sorry couldnt resist

Racheal Green

As i said above PPP...Been there, done that, giving it a bit more time before i do it again...:)

pablo21

I vote ya dump him and sample some high class Mullingar man!! ;-)
Glad everything's working out for ya!

Racheal Green

I would...:) but i think Mullingar men always seem to have their hands full..
Something about Cork women seem to turn them on...:)

constitutionus

Racheal Green wrote:

I would...:) but i think Mullingar men always seem to have their hands full..
Something about Cork women seem to turn them on...:)

yeah, slappers tend to have that effect. thats what you get with a 4 to 1 ratio

pablo21

Racheal Green wrote:

I would...:) but i think Mullingar men always seem to have their hands full..
Something about Cork women seem to turn them on...:)

Rachel>We always keep some time for the local ladies though ;-)

constitutionus> Insulting the whole of Cork female population or just a few that youve met yourself eh?

Racheal Green

Your not taking offence that hes calling your soon-to-be ...Mrs perfect a slapper are you...:)

Beruthiel

well
I think this thread has run it's course