"Tough" is to Chuck Norris what "Gay" is to Tom Cruise

ianmc38

Compliments of Ray:

Tom Cruise once fell off a curb - it took him 4 years to get back on
the footpath again

Every time Tom Cruise smiles, an angel gets his wings; and then tries
to destroy Tom Cruise

Your so gay Tom Cruise has a poster of you on his wall

Tom Cruise is so gay Tom Cruise's teeth are made from petrified choir
boy's sperm

Tom Cruise once fitted his entire head inside some fat guys anus;
thats how you know scientology is right

Tom Cruise failed grade 10 four times in a row and only passed when he
eventually agreed to play napoleon with the school history teacher mr
perkins

Tom Cruise is so gay he has a tattoo on his right bum cheek that says
"left a bit"

Tom Cruise is so gay that when he's eating sausages at the table, he
sometimes sneaks one inside in underpants without anyone noticing and
then consumes it like a supository

Tom Cruise went to see the show Cats, and immediately afterwards he
bought a kitty litter tray for his house and started pooing in it like
a cat does

When Tom Cruise goes to the bathroom - he wipes his bum with the top
of that brush behind the toilet

Tom Cruise likes men so much - during the filming of Eyes Wide Shut -
he used to imagine Nicole Kidman was Ronnie Drew

Tom Cruise gets derek mooney to send him his old chinos. This is the
only material that Tom Cruise will permit his body to be washed with

Tom Cruise has room in his house where only he is allowed to go. It is
believed that he spends his time in this room masturbating to old
episodes of Transformers while listening to the complete Back
Catalogue of Alvin and the Chipmonks at a dangerous volume

Tom Cruise was once caught in a toilet with his pants down reading a
copy of the Farmers' Journal annual Artificial Insemination
Supplement. He escaped charges due to the cleanliness of his
underpants - which were made of solid gold

Tom Cruise revealed plans to remake his 1988 smash cocktail. this
time, however, the title will be in hyphenated form: cock-tail, and
the film will follow Cruise as he chases tail on a two week package
holiday in the Spanish gay resort of Assuncao

Tom Cruise's engagement to Katie Holmes is on the rocks following
reports that Cruise tried to make Holmes dress up as Sherlock Holmes.
He then forced her to stick a violin bowe up his bum while repeating
the phrase "hmm, what a corker"

Tom Cruise once offered Sean Patrick Flannery from the Young Indiana
Jones Chronicles a million quid to go on an adventure with him to
discover tribes in the Amazonian rain forest. Flannery accepted, but
Cruise pulled out when it turned out that Flannery was no longer 16
years old.

Tom Cruise has one two rules in life: Firstly when times are tough
always remember to smile and think of the good times; and secondly,
before anal sex, apply plently of petroleum jelly to the penetrating
falice - as the rectal canal does not emit a natural lubricant

GLaDOS

ianmc38 wrote:

Tom Cruise is so gay he has a tattoo on his right bum cheek that says
"left a bit"

daithimac

greatest thing i've read since the first time I saw a chuck norris fact lol. Thank You