insane dad

Sam Vimes

there's something wrong with my tv and my dad was trying to explain it to me. its one of those massive lcd ones so its fairly complicated. this is how he explained it:

he drew an imaginary rectangle on the desk with his fingers and said "that happens". i said i didn't understand.

then he said: "this happens, then this happens, then this happens". i swear to god that's what he said. i said "what are you talking about"

at this point he got pissed off, told he angrily to listen to him and drew the rectangle again. i said i don't know what a rectangle means.

my mother came in because of the shouting and he said i was trying to annoy him and wouldn't listen to him. a fairly standard row ensued where i tried to explain that "this happens" isn't enough information and he insisted i was out to piss him off any way i could as he always does when he says somethig retarded such as "all muslims should be kicked out of the country" and i try to ask him to explain himself.
he never can of course because the things he says make no sense. as a substitute to explaining himself he gets pissed off and makes ludicrous statements like im trying to give him a heart attack.

another example i just remembered: when watching the tv, he likes to read anything written on the screen out loud and repeat what people said moments after they said it, making it impossible to hear the tv*. one day i asked him to stop five or six times and then after a bit of back and forth (an argument) he said "why don't you just stab me?". the mind boggles

*on the other hand, woe is anyone who speaks when he's trying to listen


my question is this: should i kill him by suffocating him with a pillow or go for a classic blunt object such as the television itself? its 32 inches so it'll do a fair amount of damage


if anyone wants some more stories that are funny as long as they're not happening to you ill be happy to provide them

[/rant]

ShayHT

He'll struggle too much with the pillow and the TV is too heavy, keep thinking

more stories!

Karoma

You're really mean to the poor man... maybe you should lay off

CuLT

What a fruitcake; I have to hear more!

*starts drawing imaginary rectangles in the air*

Nevyn

Recommending or suggesting violence of any sort is not tolerated here.
Commander Vimes consider this a warning read the rules in the charter for this forum and follow them while posting or else you will be banned from this forum.
Die dulci freure
Thaedydal