Delayed response to texts!

py2006 · 08-02-2006 12:33am #1

Hi folks,

This will seem a bit petty compared to other threads here! But I really need to get it off my chest!

I get really annoyed when I send somebody a text and they either only respond 2-3 hours later or not at all!

A friend texted me at 9.30 tonight (I used to have feelings for her but thats not the point) I responded straight away asking how she was feeling as she was sick over weekend.

Two hours later I get a response! This really pisses me off! She was obviously next to the phone as she had only texted me 2 secs prior!

This has happened on a few occasions and sometimes I don't get a response at all!

Am I being unreasonable? I think some people forget that its a person on the other end rather than just some letters on their phones!

I know you are going to say if it wasn't this girl I wouldn't give a shít but thats not the case at all.

08-02-2006 12:35am

I do that a lot. I get distracted easily. Get over it. If I care about the person, I won't even make them wait days for a reply.

py2006 · 08-02-2006 12:38am

bluewolf wrote:

I do that a lot. I get distracted easily. Get over it. If I care about the person, I won't even make them wait days for a reply.

Perhaps I am over reacting! I guess it just makes me feel like the person couldn't give two shíts about me!

08-02-2006 12:39am

py2006 wrote:

Perhaps I am over reacting! I guess it just makes me feel like the person couldn't give two shíts about me!

Are you generally an insecure person? Seriously, like. Maybe they just ran out of credit or maybe their favourite tv show just came on or maybe they had time to send a quick text before rushing off somewhere etc

py2006 · 08-02-2006 12:42am

bluewolf wrote:

Are you generally an insecure person? Seriously, like. Maybe they just ran out of credit or maybe their favourite tv show just came on or maybe they had time to send a quick text before rushing off somewhere etc

I can be at times I guess! Sometimes I just couldn't give a crap!

Its just that if anybody texts/calls me I always make it a point to respond straight away!

leeroybrown · 08-02-2006 12:42am

My phone doesn't beep all that loudly when I receive a text so some of the time I don't notice them for hours. If I'm busy sometimes I don't bother responding to unimportant stuff. I take the attitude that if something is sufficiently important then someone will ring me.

08-02-2006 12:43am

leeroybrown wrote:

My phone doesn't beep all that loudly when I receive a text so some of the time I don't notice them for hours. If I'm busy sometimes I don't bother responding to unimportant stuff. I take the attitude that if something is sufficiently important then someone will ring me.

Heh, mine is permanently on silent.

py: well as long as you know other people don't, you'll be ok.

Eminem · 08-02-2006 12:48am

If some one sent me a text i would reply as soon as i got it if i dont have my phone with me il reply when i do but i very rerly dont have my fone on me.

Nevyn · 08-02-2006 12:48am

Not everyone has thier phone one then or beside them all the time.
I often leave mine upstairs or down stair and don't hear it.

py2006 · 08-02-2006 12:52am

Thaedydal wrote:

Not everyone has thier phone one then or beside them all the time.
I often leave mine upstairs or down stair and don't hear it.

Yea but this person sent me a text first, I replied withing seconds asking her a direct question and 2hrs30mins I get the reply!

Maybe its just me!

08-02-2006 12:55am

Ah get over yourself. People have lives that don't revolve around you. Yes it is quite annoying and everyone gets a bit miffed when people take hours to text back, but there's often a good reason. I'll often send a text to someone between classes because it's the only chance I have, and most of my classes are 2 hours long so I can't check my phone again until afterwards. Likewise when I am at the gym, swimming pool, in town or cinema. I am usually good at replying but it annoys me when people expect me to be at their beck and call 24/7. I find it irritating when people are constantly checking their phones in inappropriate places. The only exception is if you have plans with someone and you text to see where they are etc, or an important question like an exam time, but if it's just to say hello, how are things, why do you need a reply right away? I don't mean to sound rude, but maybe you don't have much else to do but check your phone, however you have to understand that a lot of people are quite busy. It is a bit ignorant to never reply at all, but I forgive delays of a few days if the person was just really busy, had no credit, etc.

Dimitri · 08-02-2006 12:55am

It can take me days to respond to a text! If i'm working or even doing something at home i'll amke it a point of reading and not replying to texts. For me any way i find i get nothing done if i'm taking my phone out of my pocket to reply to messages. A call is different but even than if its just for caht i'll agree a time to call back when we both expect to be free. Don't get bothered by it, in the end of the day tis only a text.

WhiteWashMan · 08-02-2006 12:57am

i have mine to silent, so i sometimes dont pick up a text until the next day.
if you want an answer, make a call.

or maybe they really dont care about you?

Eminem · 08-02-2006 12:58am

WhiteWashMan wrote:

i have mine to silent, so i sometimes dont pick up a text until the next day.
if you want an answer, make a call.

or maybe they really dont care about you?

or mabye they do its just thier busy

Nevyn · 08-02-2006 1:01am

Maybe she had to think about it and consdier her answer carefully
the gods only know what your 'direct' question was.

py2006 · 08-02-2006 1:02am

Trey Thankful Suburbanite wrote:

Ah get over yourself. People have lives that don't revolve around you.

Hold on a sec! Read the thread before you come out with your smart arse remarks.

I was the one who got the text from her at 9.30 tonight and I responded straight away.

I could understand if it was during the day while she was at college or whatever!

Nevyn · 08-02-2006 1:06am

Maybe she went to bed maybe she didn't want to respond right away you have no control over other people what they do or when they do it.
Really take a couple of deep breaths and calm down.
Yes your frustrated but really kids learn that some things are out of thier control and to not get bent up out of shape because of it.
If was something that was that importnat you should have rang her and spoke to her or better yet asked the direct question in person.

08-02-2006 1:07am

I have read the post and all the responses and your point is...?

I don't see the relevance of her texting first or it being 9.30pm. How do you know she wasn't busy? If I'm at home in the evening I'll often wander into a flatmate's room and have a chat with them, leaving my mobile in the living room or whatever. People I'm talking to face to face are a priority, or are you one of those people who ignores the person you're with to send a text? How do you know your mate was even home? Maybe she started washing the dishes or something and forgot to text back?

py2006 · 08-02-2006 1:09am

Thaedydal wrote:

Maybe she went to bed maybe she didn't want to respond right away you have no control over other people what they do or when they do it.
Really take a couple of deep breaths and calm down.
Yes your frustrated but really kids learn that some things are out of thier control and to not get bent up out of shape because of it.
If was something that was that importnat you should have rang her and spoke to her or better yet asked the direct question in person.

Yea I guess so! I am not really that worked up about it! It probably does'nt help that I possibly still have a drop of feelings for her!

I eventually got my response but I am adopting the same attitude and not responding straight away! Have to make it look like I have a life! :rolleyes:

AngryBadger · 08-02-2006 1:16am

py2006 wrote:

Yea I guess so! I am not really that worked up about it! It probably does'nt help that I possibly still have a drop of feelings for her!

I eventually got my response but I am adopting the same attitude and not responding straight away! Have to make it look like I have a life! :rolleyes:

*shrug* I dunno py, is it really worth the effort convincing her of anything, see my "spot the keeper" remark for more

Nevyn · 08-02-2006 1:18am

py2006 wrote:

I eventually got my response but I am adopting the same attitude and not responding straight away! Have to make it look like I have a life! :rolleyes:

Now that is childish, if you want to respond right away do it or if you want to leave it until to morrow fine but not for petty reasons.

py2006 · 08-02-2006 1:20am

Thaedydal wrote:

Now that is childish, if you want to respond right away do it or if you want to leave it until to morrow fine but not for petty reasons.

True, I was kidding!

Capt'n Midnight · 08-02-2006 1:37am

Have you ever Stephen Fry do his SpeakToMeSpeakToMeSpeakToMe impression of a mobile phone.

In relation to the question you did not ask, yes it annoys me when someone demands a quick response but does not reciprocate. Like your Friend perhaps not replying to your reply to her original text.

But I don't drop everything for a text message, because all too often they get delayed. If it's important or time critical then I'd reckon they would ring. That way they would know if I hadn't got the message yet.

No you are wrong when you say I think some people forget that its a person on the other end rather than just some letters on their phones! because when a person is on the other end you hear their voice and both can talk interactively :rolleyes:
text is like post or email, slow one way and not very interactive.

Tiriel · 08-02-2006 2:11am

hey py,
It really annoys me when people do that too. In fact I have one friend in particular and she does it all the time! I'm not the best for text messages.. but I do make an effort. The only time I don't answer.. is if the person has said something that has either annoyed me or is just plain pointless!!

Actually.. thinking about it.. one of my friends texted me earlier today.. and I didn't answer.. so I better answer now. Reason for not answering? Because his text didn't make any sense!! If it was that important.. he would have picked up the phone and called..

Seeing as it was she texted you first.. maybe she was bored when she texted you.. and then something happened to occupy her mind.. so she forgot about the text until whatever it was ended.. ie.. Desperate Housewives;)

ionapaul · 08-02-2006 10:50am

Don't think I've ever responded immediately to a text that didn't explicitly need an immediate answer! e.g. will you be there in 5 minutes, can I phone you now, etc... Unless asked a direct question, I might leave it a few days before texting back, if the question isn't urgent (e.g. can you come to dinner Friday week) I'll always takes a good few hours before replying. I'm not much of a texter and would only send one or two a day at most. Have to say, most of my friends are the same, no-one replies immediately. However, we are all old fogeys in our late 20s and so not into the whole 'mobile scene' as most youngsters are these days!

Kolodny · 08-02-2006 11:11am

Delayed response is always more of an issue if you still have feelings for the person I guess

However, there can be any number of reasons why someone doesn't respond to a text immediately so there's not much you can do about it.

I'll often forget to reply to someone for ages if I'm at work or driving when I get the message.

To avoid such anxiety in future I recommend doing it the old fashioned way i.e. making a 'telephone call' - at least then if there's no answer you have a real reason to be paranoid

BoozyBabe · 08-02-2006 11:15am

py2006,

We've read SO many of your threads & even your comments in other threads about how crazt you are for this person (I'm assuming it's the same person you're talking about) I mean (no offence) but you went on & on & on about it.

Perhaps you were very obvious to this girl also that you liked her, & perhaps you were right, she's not interested in you in that way at all.
Maybe your running after her at every call, hanging on her every word started to freak her out a bit eventually & maybe now she wants you to back off a bit (a lot)

Maybe this is her way of doing it. If she text you back instantly, you'd prob text her back instantly again & expect her to text you back again...........

The fact that she lets you sit for a few hours after each text removes the chance of you getting into a texting conversation, makes you pissed off with her, so less likely to keep texting her.

Just a suggestion, I could be WAAAY off.

As for delayed responses to texts in general. If it happens now & again, I don't mind it at all, but likewise, I have a friend who I might text, & 2 weeks later (if even) I might get a reply, or I don't & a few months later I get a phone call more or less giving out to me to not being in contact.

Now, THAT pisses me off!!!

Beruthiel · 08-02-2006 11:31am

the response length to a text is now a personal issue?!

honestly, find something to do with your time, or maybe, phone instead?

Loomis · 08-02-2006 11:32am

ionapaul wrote:

Don't think I've ever responded immediately to a text that didn't explicitly need an immediate answer! e.g. will you be there in 5 minutes, can I phone you now, etc... Unless asked a direct question, I might leave it a few days before texting back, if the question isn't urgent (e.g. can you come to dinner Friday week) I'll always takes a good few hours before replying. I'm not much of a texter and would only send one or two a day at most. Have to say, most of my friends are the same, no-one replies immediately. However, we are all old fogeys in our late 20s and so not into the whole 'mobile scene' as most youngsters are these days!

I'm confused.
You'll reply in a few hours if it's important.Or a few days later if not.
So what exactly is your point in replying?Are you busy and can't reply?Are you busy for days on end and can't take 60 seconds to reply?I mean...you have enough time to go to the phone and read the text.

ionapaul · 08-02-2006 11:40am

No, read the sentence you highlighted in bold again. Unless the question is important, I might wait a few days (so if it is important, I reply quickly!). I'd say more than half of the texts I get don't include questions in any case, or include standards such as 'how's it going' or similar, and as such don't *need* any sort of a timely reply! If people want a proper conversation, they will phone you and not text, right? If I got a 'will you be at XYZ in 5 minutes', then I would try to reply immediately...though usually with a phone call of course.

Loomis · 08-02-2006 11:52am

ionapaul wrote:

No, read the sentence you highlighted in bold again. Unless the question is important, I might wait a few days (so if it is important, I reply quickly!). I'd say more than half of the texts I get don't include questions in any case, or include standards such as 'how's it going' or similar, and as such don't *need* any sort of a timely reply! If people want a proper conversation, they will phone you and not text, right? If I got a 'will you be at XYZ in 5 minutes', then I would try to reply immediately...though usually with a phone call of course.

Again,what is the point in replying a few days later?

chuckles30 · 08-02-2006 11:55am

py - I agree with you completely - I've had people text me as if to start a conversation & when you reply you're left waiting. It just bugs me & I'm just talking about friends here. If I text someone out of the blue and they don't reply for hours or even days, that's ok as they might be busy & I accept that. But when they start a conversation, I expect it to be continued. So you're not alone!!!

ionapaul · 08-02-2006 12:22pm

Mr. Anderson wrote:

Again,what is the point in replying a few days later?

No point at all, it isn't a planned thing, I just don't reply immediately, usually every few days I find the time (and more importantly the inclination!) to respond to the few texts I got in the meanwhile. I suppose what I'm saying is that I (and many people my age whose texting habits I know) just don't reply immediately via text, whereas if a person called me they could jabber on all they like and enjoy my total attention

The reason I posted on the thread at all is because I was made think about texting yesterday, when a girl I hooked up with over the weekend mentioned in a text sent to me yesterday that my last reply was '1 day later' - I wouldn't even notice something like this, let alone comment on it in a text. Maybe it is an age thing, she is in her early 20s?

py2006 · 08-02-2006 12:35pm

I think my point is that I find it quite rude if people dimiss a text and decide to respond to it the next day if they are bored or whatever!

My point was that I got a text from this friend last night which I replied to straight away. I had to wait 2hrs 30mins for the response.

Why text me to initiate a conversation if you are so busy you dont have time to respond!

It just infuriates me!

py2006 · 08-02-2006 12:36pm

BoozyBabe wrote:

py2006,

Just a suggestion, I could be WAAAY off.

Yes you are!

Kiera · 08-02-2006 12:38pm

py2006 wrote:

I think my point is that I find it quite rude if people dimiss a text and decide to respond to it the next day if they are bored or whatever!

My point was that I got a text from this friend last night which I replied to straight away. I had to wait 2hrs 30mins for the response.

Why text me to initiate a conversation if you are so busy you dont have time to respond!

It just infuriates me!

FYI, The world does NOT relvolve around you!!!

So what if she had something else to do, so what if something more important came up, so bloody what if she didnt reply to you straight away. Thats up to her!

You are the male equivalent of a bunny boiler!!

irlrobins · 08-02-2006 12:43pm

py2006 wrote:

I had to wait 2hrs 30mins for the response.
It just infuriates me!

FFS! If you want to have a conversation RING her! If you just want to reply to her text and wait for her reply text her.

Jeez, if you're this intense about everything no wonder she's not replying straight away. Relax! Take life as it comes, don't try and force it somewhere where it's not going to go.

py2006 · 08-02-2006 12:43pm

Kiera wrote:

FYI, The world does NOT relvolve around you!!!

So what if she had something else to do, so what if something more important came up, so bloody what if she didnt reply to you straight away. Thats up to her!

You are the male equivalent of a bunny boiler!!

Oh for god sake! There are too many people like you posting these days. You assume everything and no nothing and just insult people.

You missed the point! If she had something else to do she wouldn't have taken the time to text me and ask me something in the first place!

Its not just about this one occasion or just her in particular. Its about people in general who dismiss peoples texts and respond to them when they are bored!

Kiera · 08-02-2006 12:46pm

py2006 wrote:

Oh for god sake! There are too many people like posting these days. You assume everything and no nothing and just insult people.

You missed the point! If she had something else to do she wouldn't have taken the time to text me and ask me something in the first place!

Its not just about this one occasion or just her in particular. Its about people in general who dismiss peoples texts and respond to them when they are bored!

No I didnt miss the point at all.

I think you are the one missing the point from your "friend". Take a hint!

irlrobins · 08-02-2006 12:47pm

py2006 wrote:

Oh for god sake! You missed the point! If she had something else to do she wouldn't have taken the time to text me and ask me something in the first place!

Its not just about this one occasion or just her in particular. Its about people in general who dismiss peoples texts and respond to them when they are bored!

ok imagine this: She sends you a text and then as soon as it's sent, she gets into the bath for an hour to relax. Then she gets out and styles her hair, shaves her legs and applies her ft. She then leaves the bathroom, returns to her bedroom where she left her phone and replies to her text.

In other words she's got other things to do beside staring at her phone.

Who said they were bored, they might be BUSY doing other things beside texting you.

Now are you going to argue with everyone who replies or are you going to listen to the majority of people who say it's quite normal not to reply to a text straight away?

py2006 · 08-02-2006 12:48pm

Kiera wrote:

No I didnt miss the point at all.

I think you are the one missing the point from your "friend". Take a hint!

Go back to to Afterhours were pathetic responses and insults seem to be tolerated!

She happens to be a very good friend thank you very much.

Please dont respond unless you have some helpful comments!

py2006 · 08-02-2006 12:49pm

irlrobins wrote:

ok imagine this: She sends you a text and then as soon as it's sent, she gets into the bath for an hour to relax. Then she gets out and styles her hair, shaves her legs and applies her ft. She then leaves the bathroom, returns to her bedroom where she left her phone and replies to her text.

In other words she's got other things to do beside staring at her phone.

Who said they were bored, they might be BUSY doing other things beside texting you.

Now are you going to argue with everyone who replies or are you going to listen to the majority of people who say it's quite normal not to reply to a text straight away?

Yea I know, I was just annoyed last night! I guess its just me, I always reply to texts pretty much straight away!

To me its kinda like if I was to ask somebody a question to their face and they just turned away and walked off!

I'll try not to let it annoy me in future!

Kiera · 08-02-2006 12:54pm

py2006 wrote:

Go back to to Afterhours were pathetic responses and insults seem to be tolerated!

She happens to be a very good friend thank you very much.

Please dont respond unless you have some helpful comments!

Oh grow up! Seriously, how old are you?

Why come into PI looking for advice when all you do is fight with people.

You dear boy are the pathetic one! If you wanna rant about someone not replying to your txt take it to AH. You didn’t start a thread there because you knew people would reply like me so you come in here looking for sympathy cause someone didn’t reply to your txt straight away?? Boohoo!

py2006 · 08-02-2006 12:57pm

Kiera wrote:

Oh grow up! Seriously, how old are you?

Why come into PI looking for advice when all you do is fight with people.

You dear boy are the pathetic one! If you wanna rant about someone not replying to your txt take it to AH. You didn’t start a thread there because you knew people would reply like me so you come in here looking for sympathy cause someone didn’t reply to your txt straight away?? Boohoo!

Please leave, you are just annoying! You came in just to insult! I am not fighting with people, I am simply reacting to your pathetic, offensive, unnecessary responses!

Kiera · 08-02-2006 1:03pm

Hmmm one wonders why that girl didnt reply straight away!

Relax sparky!!

Tobias Greeshman · 08-02-2006 1:18pm

py2006 wrote:

Yea I know, I was just annoyed last night! I guess its just me, I always reply to texts pretty much straight away!

To me its kinda like if I was to ask somebody a question to their face and they just turned away and walked off!

I'll try not to let it annoy me in future!

Mate you seriously got to not let the fact that your not getting replies off a person straight-away to heart. Some people are just dire useless when it comes to texting back, I know quite a few.

If your asking a question and they don't reply with a text or contact you, then that's a little rude tbh. But if its not important, I wouldn't expect a reply, nice if you get one but definitely not required.

Perhaps you should do something to take your mind off staring at that phone waiting for a reply. Go make some dinner, watch some tv, start learning Java

. At the end of the day its only a text and your life isn't exactly going to be over or ruined if the person takes a while getting back to you. Stop fussing over a text, and try not to let it get to you.

If you really want to find out something or have a catch-up with the person, perhaps call them in future.

py2006 · 08-02-2006 1:23pm

silas wrote:

Mate you seriously got to not let the fact that your not getting replies off a person straight-away to heart. Some people are just dire useless when it comes to texting back, I know quite a few.

If your asking a question and they don't reply with a text or contact you, then that's a little rude tbh. But if its not important, I wouldn't expect a reply, nice if you get one but definitely not required.

Perhaps you should do something to take your mind off staring at that phone waiting for a reply. Go make some dinner, watch some tv, start learning Java . At the end of the day its only a text and your life isn't exactly going to be over or ruined if the person takes a while getting back to you. Stop fussing over a text, and try not to let it get to you.

If you really want to find out something or have a catch-up with the person, perhaps call them in future.

Yea your right thanks! Perhaps Java is the way to go! :eek: I know I am being silly! I just get offended/upset easily these days! I guess I was just over-tired last night!

I do come across as a big kid alright!

But sure who wants to get old anyway!

BoozyBabe · 08-02-2006 1:29pm

py2006 wrote:

I do come across as a big kid alright!

A Big spoilt huffy, over-dramatic, over sensitive, bad-tempered, lack of humour kid!!!

From all the threads you start here, I'd say for your age, you need to lighten up a bit.

Kiera was just saying what a lot of us were thinking. (sorry)

& as others have said:- if you want a conversation, make a phone call.

& although i'm not convinced that I was WAAY of the mark (in general) earlier, in this particular case I was as I didn't read the bit where she text you first,

Now, go chill out a bit & do some stuff other than stare at your phone to occupy yourself.

py2006 · 08-02-2006 1:38pm

Jaysus! Women! :rolleyes:

Ickle Magoo · 08-02-2006 2:05pm

As a rule, if I don't care when someone replies, there are no set time limits on their answering ie I don't need to know anything by a particular time, etc, then I use E-mail or text....if I want an immediate answer or need confirmation of something then I pick up the phone....saves loads of hassle and so much quicker!

py2006 · 08-02-2006 2:28pm

Ickle Magoo wrote:

if I want an immediate answer or need confirmation of something then I pick up the phone....saves loads of hassle and so much quicker!

Yep, am gonna do that from now on!

I just remembered that it was one of my many, many, many new years resolutions to call more than text! :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

Its also far cheaper too than getting into a text conversation!

I'm such a dumbass!

Delayed response to texts!

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