my dad is dying

drdre

im really sorry to hear of your loss, anyway good luck in life and always hope for the best.

LegacyUser

Go for it my friend, you can do anything that you want to!

Sifo

OP

I'm very sorry to hear of your loss, my deepest sympathies to you and your family. Be strong and remain positive and keep talking when you need to. You'll always find people willing to listen.

wasted_winter

Hey there,

I've literally just come accross this thread - I'm sorry that I wasn't able to offer any support when you needed it.

When I was 18 my dad died of MRSA that he contracted post-op for cancer. I spent two long days and nights with him before he died & I can understand exactly how you felt.

While at his bedside everything felt very surreal - almost like I was watching a movie of the events - and like you, when it came to the final hours I found myself outside the hospital in the early hours of the morning, an attempt to just escape for a while, feeling completely numb.

I don't think anyone can really say anything to help, all the raised eyebrows, sorry for your loss & searching eyes were empty and weightless... from my own experience the only comfort I could take was from the amount of people who showed support. The amount of people who showed up out of respect for my Dad... and my family. It brought home the idea that you really aren't as alone as you think you might be. It was also sweet to hear the stories people could tell me about him... and I got to see him as something other than my father... as a husband, brother, friend, neighbour...

I can't speak for everyone who has suffered a loss, but I do know that it applies to more people than me. The initial grief is the worst part. Each day is easier, you have to keep that in mind. You also need to know how sad your dad would be to see you suffer and that he would want you to move on, he knows you'll never forget him and the most important thing is to lead a life that would make him proud.

Not a day goes by when I don't think about my dad, even now I do have moments of grief... but just moments. For the best part my thoughts are all positive, happy memories. I have times when I miss him desperately, when I cry because I am hit with the unfathomable reality of 'forever'.

Hang on in there, it won't always be easy and god knows if there was a magic button to over-ride the process we would all reach for it, but just know how much love you have around you and that life without him will get a little easier each day,

My thoughts are with you & your family & please pm me if you want - if it's just an ear to rant or to think things through then I'm here.

N90user

Im sorry man, good luck in life and i hope things turn out well for you.

is_that_so

OP -sorry for your loss. Yes I can relate to youyr feelings. My own feeling after my father passed away a year ago was an incredible clarity. I think it probbaly came from having to take care of everything and examine where I was and how I felt. I do believe that the pain that goes with it is also complemented by a sense of understanding. As you say they are always with you.

GerryHatTrick

I'm sorry for your loss. you seem like a very down to earth person, who not only will get through this, but will come through very strongly and help all those affected by your dads passing. I'm impressed, as I can never imagine myself showing the courage you are! I also take my hat off to all the posters in this thread - it remind me of how compassionate and helpful people can be without even knowing your name!

JohnnySideburns

There's nothing wrong with you. Natures way of allowing you to deal with beaureavement is that all pain doesn't hit you at the time the death but hits you more slowly for a number of years afterwards, in amounts that you will be able to handle. I know this because I've been there.

dinjo

hey lad...... im gutted for ya. i lost my mother three years ago at a young age so i know exacetly what your going through. It may sound like a cliche, but it does get better with time, it get's easier.... as for you not shedding a tear, i didn't cry, people deals with things differently, but if you want to cry go ahead, nobody will think any different of you for doing so...... Its gonna be a tough time for ya, im sorry for that but you will get through it, and life does go on.....

PM me if you wanna chat, i know exacetly how your feeling......