guys & relationships

stripey24

girls, if your bf had no problem being open about intimate details of your relationship with his friends, how would you react? would you just ignore it or finish the relationship?

Ickle Magoo

Depends....if he went into details because a friend had a problem & he needed an example to use to help his friend out, it was done respectfully and not gratuitously then I would tell him to keep his mouth shut in the future & that it was called a private life for a reason.....if he did it to show off & obviously cared more about what a stud his pals thought of him than showing respect for me and our relationship, then I'd tell him to grow up & dump him.....

At the end of the day, I think you make yourself vulnerable by having sex with someone and it gives them a position of power & responsibility & some people want the sex but are not ready to handle the rest.....if they are not mature enough or care enough to keep it respectful - even if it was a one night stand - I would move on to someone who was more capable.....Best of luck

Ag marbh

stripey24 wrote:

girls, if your bf had no problem being open about intimate details of your relationship with his friends, how would you react? would you just ignore it or finish the relationship?

Your boyfriend is taking drugs and you're not happy about it. Your boyfriend is talking about your sex life to friends which results in your embaressment and it's a very disrespectful thing to do.

What are you doing with him?

stripey24

well he hasnt being fully open about details but he's hinted and he said that he wud have no problem cause everyone assumes anyway etc. am i just overreacting

Ag marbh

stripey24 wrote:

well he hasnt being fully open about details but he's hinted and he said that he wud have no problem cause everyone assumes anyway etc. am i just overreacting

You're not overreacting. It's a disrespectful thing to do and if he's hinted with you around I can guarantee he goes right out and tells all the lads, like I said on the last post I suspect you are very young by the way he goes on. Back in the day if I or one of the lads were having sex of course it would be spoke about.

stripey24

yeah. well like he hinted it on an internet profile and his friends can see it so

Ag marbh

stripey24 wrote:

yeah. well like he hinted it on an internet profile and his friends can see it so

If it's nothing too serious at the moment and you think that you could walk away without much heart break I suggest you do it. If it's a long term relationship you need to sit him down and say what you're saying here.

stripey24

i did, he maintains im being immature and being too serious about it and that everyone assums bf/gf do these things etc. he doesnt seem to understand that i like these sort of details private and i'd never write on the net or say to my friends private details of my relationship

Ag marbh

stripey24 wrote:

i did, he maintains im being immature and being too serious about it and that everyone assums bf/gf do these things etc. he doesnt seem to understand that i like these sort of details private and i'd never write on the net or say to my friends private details of my relationship

I think it's time to expand on what exaclty he's saying? Of course people of this age in a relationship are expected to be having sex. It's not like when we were 15 saying "Did you ride her yet?", people have grown up and it's just generally assumed.

Ickle Magoo

stripey24 wrote:

i did, he maintains im being immature and being too serious about it and that everyone assums bf/gf do these things etc. he doesnt seem to understand that i like these sort of details private and i'd never write on the net or say to my friends private details of my relationship

So he is telling you that he doesn't care if you don't want him spreading details of your intimate moments together, he will do it if he wants to & infers YOU are immature?! He sounds like he is extremely immature & he sounds like he couldn't care less what you want....I would run for the hills!

Nickibaby*

If you explained to him that you didn't want him to do it and he still is get rid of him! Sounds like he doesn't care what you think.

stripey24

thanks all for the advice

WhiteWashMan

stripey24 wrote:

girls, if your bf had no problem being open about intimate details of your relationship with his friends, how would you react? would you just ignore it or finish the relationship?

id break it off.

Slutmonkey57b

This is a difficult situation for you and as you grow older and wiser you'll realise what a complicated issue this is, both for you and your bf. While I can't pretend to know everything about your situation, or what is going through your bf's head, I can advise you that older heads have given this pehnomenon a name: The technical term for this is "your boyfriend is a complete twat". Posting even hints about yor sex life on the net is a totally unacceptable thing to do. Please dump him immediately, and make sure to tell him that he is a disrespectful, selfish, immature git, and that he has hurt you for no good reason at all. If you wish to hurt him back, assure him you faked your orgasms, that he's the worst lover you've ever had. I recommend going the full monty and telling him his drug use makes his dick smaller too.

projectmayhem

it depends on how "open" he is tbh. if he's in the pub with his mates and slagging off single mates about how he gets laid more often then them, then it's not a big deal but if he's going into specifics drop him like a bad habbit.

but like ag marbh said, if he's talking about your private life to his mates and taking drugs, why are you even bothering?

Dustaz

Dont women discuss this type of thing all the time between themselves?

I thought this was sort of an accepted thing that women were much more open about intimate details amongst their friends than men. If thats the case whats wrong with him talking about it amongst HIS mates? As long as hes not being too disrepectful?

Ickle Magoo

Dustaz wrote:

Dont women discuss this type of thing all the time between themselves?

Erm......I sometimes discuss generalities (have you? could you? would you? type of thing) but I don't divulge personal info re my husband and our sex life to my friends....ex boyfriends are a completely different matter tho! :D

democrates

Ickle Magoo wrote:

Erm......I sometimes discuss generalities (have you? could you? would you? type of thing) but I don't divulge personal info re my husband and our sex life to my friends....ex boyfriends are a completely different matter tho! :D

Aye, and there's the rub!

TBH when I read the first post I assumed it was a guy trying to find out more about womens behaviour in this regard.
The fact is, guys brag about conquests for the ego/herd position, women do it because, well i don't really know. I guess it's something to do with support/feedback to help get their bearings or something. Is this too charitable or sexist?

Ultimately, sex is a gamble, may be great, may not be. May be private, or may in time be public. If you have preconditions, let them be known, and try to be sure the person will honour your wishes. Otherwise jump in there and enjoy! God women are gorgeous.

The Corinthian

stripey24 wrote:

i did, he maintains im being immature and being too serious about it and that everyone assums bf/gf do these things etc. he doesnt seem to understand that i like these sort of details private and i'd never write on the net or say to my friends private details of my relationship

I suppose it depends upon your age and the level of detail that was given. Age in that it would probably be an inappropriate discussion for him to have if you’re under twenty years of age. After a certain age people do assume that a couple are having sex, so it does beg the question of why he needs to mention it. Of course we don’t know what level of detail is being discussed.

For example, here’s a possible scenario; last orders in the pub, you ask him if he wants another pint, he responds (in front of everyone) with the quip “I would, but then I’d be no use to you later”. It would be an indiscretion, but hardly a cardinal one. After all, he’s simply alluded to the fact that the pair of you would likely have sex later, something that would certainly have been assumed anyway, and has not told them of how you make noises like a chipmunk whenever you get aroused (which would be an intimate detail). In that type of situation I would probably say you’re being a little silly.

Of course, if he had quipped “cheers love, even though I know you’re only doing it for the golden showers later” then that would be a no-no. The devil’s in the detail, I suppose.

Dustaz wrote:

Dont women discuss this type of thing all the time between themselves?

I’ve found that women tend to either not discuss it at all or go into the most horrific detail imaginable.

LegacyUser

I think it really depends on the situation. The fact that he is using the internet as a medium to tell people about his sex life with you is out of line, however I can understand telling friends. Man, as well as woman, quite often will tell friends about their sex life as they would any other aspect of their lives. As long as it respectful of your partner and to close friends, I don't see the problem. If he is telling every Tom, Dick and Harry about your sex life then you should consider how much respect he has for you and question the value of your relationship with him.

Of course, I am assuming here that 'intimate' refers mainly to sex, it is a bit vague in this context.

BoozyBabe

My stand on it.

If my fella was out with close mates & they were asking him how we get on, or how do I make him feel etc, & he said I was fantastic in bed, or I was a bit dead in the sack, I wouldn't mind that. (I don't mean what he ACTUALLY said, but that level of detail would be fine by me)

Also, if (like someine else said) his close mate was having a problem sexually & asked my bf for advice & it involved my bf telling him how we get around the problem, then that would also be ok for me.

However, if my bf was just bragging at every second he got with crap like 'oh she loves taking it up the @ss, & screams like a b!tch' (or something like that) I'd be extremely hurt.
I wouldn't dump him for a 1st offence, I'd let him know how that makes me feel & that I'd rather he didn't share those type of details & if he did it again then Good Riddance!

py2006

Forgive me if I am wrong! But isn't it far more common for women to go into detail about their boyfriends when they are out with the girls?

I think guys will only mention they had sex with a girl to their mates if it was a one night stand or something.

But I have never gone into detail about a girl I was with nor have I heard a any guy going into detials.

Its rare for us to go into details about the girl we are in relationships with.

Civilian_Target

A gentleman never tells.

Ickle Magoo

py2006 wrote:

Forgive me if I am wrong! But isn't it far more common for women to go into detail about their boyfriends when they are out with the girls?

...another GIGANTIC generalisation there.....not in my experience, no.....last time you were out with the girls were they divulging lots of details about their sex lives to you? In my experience it is young boys bragging about what they want their mates to think happened & neither sex go into details in a more mature relationship.....

democrates

Ickle Magoo wrote:

...another GIGANTIC generalisation there.....not in my experience, no.....last time you were out with the girls were they divulging lots of details about their sex lives to you? In my experience it is young boys bragging about what they want their mates to think happened & neither sex go into details in a more mature relationship.....

Young males can also fly, walk up walls, and have defeated Chuck Norris on holiday in Santa Ponsa. Such bragging has little to do with the truth and we all know it.

But juveniles aside, my experience is that more adult women who are dating discuss intimate details than men. It's been that way for years. Ostensibly it's for support but it's less than honourable when she knows the guy would prefer to keep his intimate life private. The result is that a guy getting hot and moist with a girl he has started dating knows there's a high probability it's going to be a public performance.

Ickle Magoo

democrates wrote:

Young males can also fly, walk up walls, and have defeated Chuck Norris on holiday in Santa Ponsa. Such bragging has little to do with the truth and we all know it.

But juveniles aside, my experience is that more adult women who are dating discuss intimate details than men. It's been that way for years. Ostensibly it's for support but it's less than honourable when she knows the guy would prefer to keep his intimate life private. The result is that a guy getting hot and moist with a girl he has started dating knows there's a high probability it's going to be a public performance.

As usual, I can only talk about my own experiences & I don't know any women who have discussed the intimate details of their present partner with me or in my company....you may have had different experiences of girlie chats....:)

Not sure how this helps the OP.... Are we saying because SOME women discuss more intimate details of their partner than they ought to that she should be OK with her man spreading details about her?

The Corinthian

As I already said, my own experience is that women will tend to either not discuss it at all or go into the most horrific detail imaginable.

Having said that anecdotal evidence is terribly unreliable.

Nevyn

The Corinthian wrote:

As I already said, my own experience is that women will tend to either not discuss it at all or go into the most horrific detail imaginable.

Well that certainly is one way to weed out the faint at heart and the unadventurous while moving a converstion in certain directions.

democrates

Thaedydal wrote:

Well that certainly is one way to weed out the faint at heart and the unadventurous while moving a converstion in certain directions.

Me no undystand. How is anyone weeded out and what directions does it take the conversation? I could speculate but would probably miss the point.

Ruhan

Dustaz wrote:

Dont women discuss this type of thing all the time between themselves?

I thought this was sort of an accepted thing that women were much more open about intimate details amongst their friends than men. If thats the case whats wrong with him talking about it amongst HIS mates? As long as hes not being too disrepectful?

I once walked in on my girlfriend at the time having a discussion with her sister. The words that jumped out at me were my name, and girth...

I had no problem with them discussing such facts, it just put me on the back foot a little bit.

Azureus

i wouldnt mind my bf talking to his friends about our relationship in general detail, but anything intimate/personal i would hate. he'd get one warning and then war if it happened again! it's disrespectful

jonny68

stripey24 wrote:

girls, if your bf had no problem being open about intimate details of your relationship with his friends, how would you react? would you just ignore it or finish the relationship?

Finish it :eek: why,dont birds talk to their mates all the time about their relationships/shopping/make up,etc,etc,etc,etc,not that many men would take to their mates about relationships indepth (that's where your female friends come in;) )

jonny68

Azureus wrote:

i wouldnt mind my bf talking to his friends about our relationship in general detail, but anything intimate/personal i would hate. he'd get one warning and then war if it happened again! it's disrespectful

why women do it quite often with their mates,one rule for them is it?:rolleyes:

jonny68

py2006 wrote:

Forgive me if I am wrong! But isn't it far more common for women to go into detail about their boyfriends when they are out with the girls?

I think guys will only mention they had sex with a girl to their mates if it was a one night stand or something.

But I have never gone into detail about a girl I was with nor have I heard a any guy going into detials.

Its rare for us to go into details about the girl we are in relationships with.

Spot on

Slutmonkey57b

jonny68 wrote:

Spot on

But we're not talking about men/women in general, we're talking about whether it's alright for partner A to do it when they know that Partner B is upset by it.

stripey24

hey every1

just letting you know that i finished things with him. i feel slightly bad (he is gutted) but a lot happier, like a weight is off my shoulders.

Slutmonkey57b

Good for you. Let him find someone who doesn't mind being jerked around instead.

The Corinthian

stripey24 wrote:

just letting you know that i finished things with him. i feel slightly bad (he is gutted) but a lot happier, like a weight is off my shoulders.

Why do I get the feeling that you were looking to do that anyway?