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Is She Cheating?

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  • 11-02-2006 10:43pm
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi, Long time reader and poster. Going very much unreg for this. Opinions needed.

    My girl and I both work for the same company. Lets say its a transport company where 2 people work together all the time.

    I was off today and when she came home I kissed her and it seemed ok. Then, when I went to play with her boobs, I noticed that her bra was bunched up with her boobs out of it. Both sides. She says that her bra just fell down and kept doing it all day. She also was talking a lot, utter nonsence to I feel cover up something.

    On her work shirt, Left pocket there is a white stain, about 1Cm by .5cm with downward droplets, and there is, when looked at through UV light a small patch further down. She says it was a hand cleanign agent that we use. I happen to have a bottle of this agent and have tested it on the other side of her shirt. No luiminessence or matching stain.

    I confronted her on it and she cried saying she couldn;t believe Ididn;t trust her. Now, I dont think I believe her. She's calmed down and is now asleep after I told her I believ her. I have tested her shirt with the Alternative Light Source and confirmed her story does not match up.

    Sorry about thelong post. she's right now asleep behind me. All the messages on her phone are from me, but that just tells me she is deleting the messages that are from others, Sent items are cleared.

    Any ideas? Am I right do u think


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Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 3,945 ✭✭✭Anima


    Wtf, you checked her shirt with a UV light? Not only that but you poured some kind of agent on to test if UV light could detect it? Are you ****ing insane or something? Tbh, I'd cry aswell if my boyfriend had done that, such a display of lack of trust. My god....


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 184 ✭✭Brother To God


    Very bright idea with the uv light,I believe something is up!
    Questioning her will only give yourself grieve so try pry and
    keep an eye open.She is up to something and not being truthful,
    you have a right to know,either she can be honest (which is unlikely) or else you can go about finding the truth with uv light and questioning others.
    hope your investigation goes well!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,312 ✭✭✭pbsuxok1znja4r


    My advice to you is to forget about your girlfriend. It's imperative that you use your powers of investigation and deduction to single-handedly fight the scourge of crime.
    Go forth, now! For the good of the city...

    But seriously, regardless of whether she did something or not, this kind of suspicion and display of mis-trust will only make her wish she had. Be aware that if you go investigating this to the lengths you seem to want to, you will probably only convince yourself out of paranoia that something definitely happened. Or if you do find out that she's innocent of any wrongdoing, you may well have irrevocably damaged your relationship with her.

    Proceed with caution. Try to take her word for it, or at the least make her believe you do, lol. Hope it works out okay.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,390 ✭✭✭galwaydude


    have you ever had any reason not to trust her in the past. Has she ever cheated before?

    That stain could of been from anything mate, talk to your gf, dont accuse her just talk to her for her side of the story.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 317 ✭✭athena 2000


    You have a UV light source easily at hand? You are looking for something to be wrong. But you'd better start talking to her fast and not accusing her or you WILL lose her. Wow, CSI-ed in her own home..


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 483 ✭✭lazydaisy


    If she's not she soon will be if you keep up this controlling behavior. Or she will leave you.

    Do you know how violated she would feel if she knew what you were doing?

    You play with her breasts and then you check her call log. Ugh.

    You're lucky all she did was cry.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 217 ✭✭Gaillimhtaibhse


    Cheating? wrote:
    Hi, Long time reader and poster. Going very much unreg for this. Opinions needed.

    On her work shirt, Left pocket there is a white stain, about 1Cm by .5cm with downward droplets, and there is, when looked at through UV light a small patch further down.

    I have tested her shirt with the Alternative Light Source and confirmed her story does not match up.

    Any ideas?

    "Any ideas?" Here's one... Basic Instinct (1997), Act II, bedroom murder scene investigation, starring Michael Douglas. With their light source, they also used glasses to filter the light to reveal the "recreational" stains. Ever watch the movies? :rolleyes:


  • Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Honestly, the stain itself is not the main thing. I think the bunched up bra and how she was very very guarded and attempting to divert me when I noticed it, and only when i noticed it, that made me suspisious.

    galwaydude: Yes, she used to have a bit of a reputation as the work bike, but she said that stopped when we started getting serious. I just fear she's fallen into old ways with this new member of our team. Also she said the stain was from a gel we use to wash our hands without water. But it dries clear, not white as this does.

    athena 2000: Due to my work I have an ALS at home. I use it in a professional manner.

    scouser.tommy: I am preceeding with her thinking everything is ok. But I'll see what happens.

    There's no-one in work I can really question directly as we are both very popular in work and we are a close team. Also this happened on one of the vehicles while it was away I suspect. So the only 2 people that know the truth are her and him.


  • Registered Users Posts: 78,365 ✭✭✭✭Victor


    You mean someone spilled egg albumen on her shirt?

    Was it you?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,433 ✭✭✭kittenkiller


    So she's clear-headed enough to clear out any other messages on her phone but not smart enough to clean jiz-stains off her clothes or keep her baps in her bread-bin???
    Especially when you have UV lights at home & go in for a grope as soon as you see her?

    Sounds a bit iffy.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 545 ✭✭✭MarinoMark


    Sounds like she received a "Pearl Necklase" all right ! Maybe just ask her again and accept her answer. Sounds like a "this is not what it seems" Scenario, Happened to a mate of mine. She may well be innocent. Give her the benefit of the doubt and let her at least have a cup of tea when she comes home from work before making a beeline for her chest !


  • Hosted Moderators Posts: 7,485 ✭✭✭Red Alert


    sounds very iffy if you ask me. you could always check last dialled numbers - just hit Green/Yes/Call on nokias and you'll see it.


  • Registered Users Posts: 10,658 ✭✭✭✭The Sweeper


    So your girlfriend came home in a state of unease, with muddled underclothing and potential semen stains on her clothes and became hysterical very quickly when questioned.

    Any chance your girlfriend could have been sexually assaulted by this person?

    Because I don't know about the rest of you, but a bra that's on crossways is really, REALLY bloody uncomfortable. In fact, I don't know anyone that wouldn't stop to fix such a thing. Unless they were in a state of extreme distress. Made worse by their boyfriend immediatley trying to initiate sexual contact and then turning into the cast of CSI Las Vegas.

    Why don't you shine a light in her eyes when she wakes up?


  • Registered Users Posts: 81,310 CMod ✭✭✭✭coffee_cake


    So your girlfriend came home in a state of unease, with muddled underclothing and potential semen stains on her clothes and became hysterical very quickly when questioned.

    Any chance your girlfriend could have been sexually assaulted by this person?

    Because I don't know about the rest of you, but a bra that's on crossways is really, REALLY bloody uncomfortable. In fact, I don't know anyone that wouldn't stop to fix such a thing. Unless they were in a state of extreme distress. Made worse by their boyfriend immediatley trying to initiate sexual contact and then turning into the cast of CSI Las Vegas.

    Why don't you shine a light in her eyes when she wakes up?

    I agree.

    tbh I think the boyfriend is a little obsessive and nuts. Going for her breasts, doing UV and comparison tests?
    If she hasn't told you she was assaulted if she was, I'm not sure I'm surprised :|

    First off, someone who is cheating and doesn't think to check their shirt for stains is one thing, but anyone with half a brain would fix muddled underwear. My own bra does tend to get muddled up a little bit and it's bloody uncomfortable - I'd fix it asap. And thats not taking removing cheating evidence into account, which you think she might be


  • Registered Users Posts: 9,847 ✭✭✭py2006


    keep her baps in her bread-bin???

    .

    HAHA Brilliant!

    Seriously, your either extrememly paranoid guy or your watching to much CSI!


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,648 ✭✭✭smiles


    I dont blame her for being upset at you!!!

    TBH, if the first thing you do when you see her is "go to play with her boobs" then this is a seriously weird relationship.

    The stain could be anything, milk from a drink, old detergent stain, etc.

    If her bra is a bit too big/small then it could explain the "bulging"....

    sorry, this whole situation with you doing the CSI is a bit freaky.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 688 ✭✭✭skye


    Cheating? wrote:
    Yes, she used to have a bit of a reputation as the work bike, but she said that stopped when we started getting serious.

    Sounds to me like you still have this thought in the back of your mind and you are now going at it full on to "prove" that she is in fact cheating on you. Jesus man - give the girl a break! Perhaps a bit more trust from you is required - I mean you really have no reson to doubt her other than your own paranoia. Get over yourself, if you keep this up she will definately leave you - and who would blame her??


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,757 ✭✭✭bohsboy


    Your post is actually quite scary. You really need to chill out man.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 71 ✭✭Roy16


    We could call be wrong but i always think once you starting questions girlfriends and they break down in tears then they are the first tell, tell signs that something is not right. Then on the other hand she could be telling the truth as well, but im not to sure she is (they only cry to make you feel bad) I would'nt do this myself but one thing you could do is to follow her? I know a lot people say that is sad blah,blah...but i know loads of people who have followed there girlfriends/boyfriends and found them to be cheating, but there were some who were doing part-time course's at night (dont ask)..The checking of her mobile, she would want to be very blonde if she didn't delete her mgs, sent items and dialed and received calls from call register.

    i think follow sometime and put your mind at ease.........


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,314 ✭✭✭Talliesin


    Cheating? wrote:
    Am I right do u think
    I hope so. Would make it likely she'd find herself with someone less insane quite soon. Jeez, and I thought my ex was paranoid! You have issues.

    See a counseller.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 17,485 ✭✭✭✭Ickle Magoo


    Cheating? wrote:
    Hi, Long time reader and poster. Going very much unreg for this. Opinions needed.

    My girl and I both work for the same company. Lets say its a transport company where 2 people work together all the time.

    I was off today and when she came home I kissed her and it seemed ok. Then, when I went to play with her boobs, I noticed that her bra was bunched up with her boobs out of it. Both sides. She says that her bra just fell down and kept doing it all day. She also was talking a lot, utter nonsence to I feel cover up something.

    On her work shirt, Left pocket there is a white stain, about 1Cm by .5cm with downward droplets, and there is, when looked at through UV light a small patch further down. She says it was a hand cleanign agent that we use. I happen to have a bottle of this agent and have tested it on the other side of her shirt. No luiminessence or matching stain.

    I confronted her on it and she cried saying she couldn;t believe Ididn;t trust her. Now, I dont think I believe her. She's calmed down and is now asleep after I told her I believ her. I have tested her shirt with the Alternative Light Source and confirmed her story does not match up.

    Sorry about thelong post. she's right now asleep behind me. All the messages on her phone are from me, but that just tells me she is deleting the messages that are from others, Sent items are cleared.

    Any ideas? Am I right do u think

    :eek: :confused: I think you need to watch less CSI!!

    Firstly, I have a couple of bra's that are slightly too small for me depending on where I am in my cycle and my boobs end up getting squished and half falling out.....no rumaging by third party required.....I imagine your g/f knows how paranoid you are & if she were cheating she would have the good sense to put her breasts back in her bra before getting home...I imagine the guarded nervous behaviour was more likely to be caused by the knowledge of just how paranoid and insecure you are and how you were likely to interpret things....incidentally, if the first thing my husband did when I got home was to give the mayo stain on my shirt a dubious look then stick his hands up to cop a feel, then I would start gibering as well.....that kind of behaviour makes me nervous....

    So based on the fact that she has spilt something on her shirt....something which has left a white stain....so it can obviously only be semen.....and the fact that she was wearing a badly fitting bra, you start doing chemical analysis and snooping in her phone??!! What did you confront her with? The test results and the fact you knew what numbers she kept in her phone? I'd be crying too - and thinking for a way to escape!! I think you have severe insecurity issues you need to deal with and you need to stop projecting those issues onto your g/f.....Best of luck :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,496 ✭✭✭Mr. Presentable


    I have no opinion on whether she is cheating or not, except this: 9 times out of 10, if a person suspects their partner of being unfaithful, they are. It's usually in your psyche before the evidence starts to confirm it - sub-consiously you will have been picking up on little signs.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,375 ✭✭✭padser


    Cheating? wrote:
    I was off today and when she came home I kissed her and it seemed ok. Then, when I went to play with her boobs, I noticed that her bra was bunched up with her boobs out of it. Both sides. She says that her bra just fell down and kept doing it all day. She also was talking a lot, utter nonsence to I feel cover up something.

    On her work shirt, Left pocket there is a white stain, about 1Cm by .5cm with downward droplets, and there is, when looked at through UV light a small patch further down. She says it was a hand cleanign agent that we use. I happen to have a bottle of this agent and have tested it on the other side of her shirt. No luiminessence or matching stain.

    I confronted her on it and she cried saying she couldn;t believe Ididn;t trust her. Now, I dont think I believe her. She's calmed down and is now asleep after I told her I believ her. I have tested her shirt with the Alternative Light Source and confirmed her story does not match up.

    Sorry about thelong post. she's right now asleep behind me. All the messages on her phone are from me, but that just tells me she is deleting the messages that are from others, Sent items are cleared.

    You are an absolute legend. I am thinking of using this post as my signature.


  • Registered Users Posts: 6,374 ✭✭✭Gone West


    Meet me at drop point A at zero four hundred hours.
    Come alone(teh punnage) and don't be followed.
    Bring the shirt, and what ever DNA you have. Pull out a few hairs while shes sleeping.
    Bring $15k in unmarked non-sequential mixed $20 and $50 bills.




    err: In other words, go get some counselling.


  • Registered Users Posts: 81,310 CMod ✭✭✭✭coffee_cake


    nipplenuts wrote:
    I have no opinion on whether she is cheating or not, except this: 9 times out of 10, if a person suspects their partner of being unfaithful, they are. It's usually in your psyche before the evidence starts to confirm it - sub-consiously you will have been picking up on little signs.
    If you spend your time expecting someone to cheat, they possibly will. Guess why :|


  • Registered Users Posts: 520 ✭✭✭Xcom2


    Try this

    http://www.wheretofindout.net/969410.html

    Every batcave should have one!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,048 ✭✭✭Amazotheamazing


    You (the OP) Sir, are crazy.


  • Moderators, Regional South East Moderators Posts: 9,034 Mod ✭✭✭✭Aquos76


    padser wrote:
    You are an absolute legend. I am thinking of using this post as my signature.


    I actually had a link to this thread in my signature for a good while today. It has to go down as the best thread ever on boards.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 217 ✭✭Gaillimhtaibhse


    padser wrote:
    You are an absolute legend. I am thinking of using this post as my signature.

    :rolleyes:


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 19,341 ✭✭✭✭Chucky the tree


    i am amazed he hasnt already thought of taking her shirt and trying to geti t tested to see excactly what it is.


This discussion has been closed.
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