Men

LegacyUser

Mid 20s. Think Id have learned by now from previous relationships. I fancy a guy. Was seeing him for a while infact, now treats me like I dont exist. Thing is, I still fancy him. Am desperate to move on. Weird how I got so attached to him in so little time. Feel down about it. Am doing the "maybe its me" thing.

Got no closure so think its a bit harder to move on. Think he is back with his ex. If he is, fine, nothing I can do about it, but that leaves me dangling.

Thanks for reading.

py2006

Kinda of hard to follow but I think the only way for you to move on is for him to tell you that he isn't interested in you that way!

It will hurt like a bitch but at least you will have closure and be able to move on.

Unless of course he likes you too!

Eminem

Fancyaguy wrote:

Mid 20s. Think Id have learned by now from previous relationships. I fancy a guy. Was seeing him for a while infact, now treats me like I dont exist. Thing is, I still fancy him. Am desperate to move on. Weird how I got so attached to him in so little time. Feel down about it. Am doing the "maybe its me" thing.

Got no closure so think its a bit harder to move on. Think he is back with his ex. If he is, fine, nothing I can do about it, but that leaves me dangling.

Thanks for reading.

Move on the way your describing it he aint worth it

justsomebloke

ye men are w78#!&s, the trick is finding out which one of us is the best out of the bad bunch for you and it is seems this time you may have picked the wrong choice.

If he is back with his ex, he probably just wasn't over her inthe first place and you have just been a rebound relationship while he was deciding if he wanted to get back with her, which probably means that he wasn't putting his all into the relationship with you and so when you where looking for a full on relationship, he decided that wasn't what he wanted and stepped back and back to his girlfriend. So as hard as it may seem it is time to move on and try and someone who is looking for a proper relationship

Ickle Magoo

Fancyaguy wrote:

Mid 20s. Think Id have learned by now from previous relationships. I fancy a guy. Was seeing him for a while infact, now treats me like I dont exist. Thing is, I still fancy him. Am desperate to move on. Weird how I got so attached to him in so little time. Feel down about it. Am doing the "maybe its me" thing.

Got no closure so think its a bit harder to move on. Think he is back with his ex. If he is, fine, nothing I can do about it, but that leaves me dangling.

Thanks for reading.

He is ignoring you & is possibly back with his ex,,,,sorry, maybe I'm not reading this properly, how are you dangling? I think he has clearly told you how he feels....

Do you really want to hang about pining for a man who acts like you don't exist? Move on & find a nicer guy.....best of luck

LegacyUser

Well, he actually asked me out, twice. First time I said no-as I wasnt sure I wanted another relationship. Second time I said yes. So "technically" speaking, I am going out with the man.

So you understand the closure thing and where am coming from?

Ruhan

Call him, ask him.

If you get no answer, move on.

REDZ

Fancyaguy wrote:

now treats me like I dont exist. Thing is, I still fancy him.

If he treats you like you don't exist then hes a prick and not worth bothering about.

Ickle Magoo

Fancyaguy wrote:

Well, he actually asked me out, twice. First time I said no-as I wasnt sure I wanted another relationship. Second time I said yes. So "technically" speaking, I am going out with the man.

So you understand the closure thing and where am coming from?

You said he acted like you didn't exist and may be back with his ex.....so no, I don't understand at all.....I have never in my life gone out with a man who ignored me or had so little communication/conversation with a boyfriend that I didn't know if he was going out with me or his ex .....that's just me tho....IMO it doesn't matter if he asked you out 200 times - if he isn't speaking to you & you are so close that you don't know whether it's you or someone else he's going out with....I'd take that as closure.....there are loads of lovely lads out there who will treat you so much better - and you won't even be confused as to whether they want to be with you or not....I'd chuck the guy you posted about & find one of the nicer sorts.....:)

amazingemmet

It could be sorted out in one simple phonecall/text.

Victor

Fancyaguy wrote:

Well, he actually asked me out, twice. First time I said no-as I wasnt sure I wanted another relationship. Second time I said yes. So "technically" speaking, I am going out with the man.

Sorry, rule 42 of relationships "If one party treats the other like they don't exist, the relationship is over. This does not apply to married couples."

davie_b

jsb wrote:

ye men are w78#!&s, the trick is finding out which one of us is the best out of the bad bunch for you and it is seems this time you may have picked the wrong choice.

If he is back with his ex, he probably just wasn't over her inthe first place and you have just been a rebound relationship while he was deciding if he wanted to get back with her, which probably means that he wasn't putting his all into the relationship with you and so when you where looking for a full on relationship, he decided that wasn't what he wanted and stepped back and back to his girlfriend. So as hard as it may seem it is time to move on and try and someone who is looking for a proper relationship

not a very fair analysis of us blokes!!!
from experience gaals can do the exact same thing to fellas(esp. me!!)
so lets not go generalising,
but i do agree with the confront him bit,
at the least then you'll have final closure,
and you can move on,
just my tupence worth:)

justsomebloke

davie_b wrote:

not a very fair analysis of us blokes!!!
from experience gaals can do the exact same thing to fellas(esp. me!!)
so lets not go generalising,

sorry i'm a bloke too (jsb = justsomebloke), and don't worry about me generalising men only, i do sweeping generalisations of women to. i.e. most women like a b$%&*#4€, even though they say they want to meet a nice guy, quite a few of them however get bored with going out with nice bloke and end up going back to the b$%&*#4€ for the excitement factor and the the challenge of changing him. Hence why men like being b$%&*#4€s.

Anyway i would like to think of myself as being one of the decent guys i.e. the bloke who would always fall into the "lets be friends" category. that and before anyone thinks bad of me i am only messing about the generalisations

AngryBadger

jsb wrote:

i do sweeping generalisations of women to. i.e. most women like a b$%&*#4€, even though they say they want to meet a nice guy, quite a few of them however get bored with going out with nice bloke and end up going back to the b$%&*#4€ for the excitement factor and the the challenge of changing him. Hence why men like being b$%&*#4€s.

Stop stealing my thoughts!

OP I think you need to call this guy, or get in touch with him shomehow and just ask what the story is. If you don't fancy dealing with a possible rejection you're only other option is to forget about him and move on.

tbh, and again I point out that you've given very little information about this, it sounds to me like you're holding fast to teh fantasy that he's coming back to you. If he's back with the ex, and you don't know what the situation is between you then either

1) You had a crap relationship with him to begin with if you don't know what's going on now so move on

or

2) For whatever reason, be it that he's a prick or not, he's back with the ex, this is as very clear, although slightly mean, message to me, so move on

Sorry if I seem harsh, i doin't mean to, but with the info you've provided I don't see any other aspect to this situation.

BaZmO*

Fancyaguy wrote:

Mid 20s. Think Id have learned by now from previous relationships. I fancy a guy. Was seeing him for a while infact, now treats me like I dont exist. Thing is, I still fancy him. Am desperate to move on. Weird how I got so attached to him in so little time. Feel down about it. Am doing the "maybe its me" thing.

Got no closure so think its a bit harder to move on. Think he is back with his ex. If he is, fine, nothing I can do about it, but that leaves me dangling.

Thanks for reading.

Fancyaguy wrote:

Well, he actually asked me out, twice. First time I said no-as I wasnt sure I wanted another relationship. Second time I said yes. So "technically" speaking, I am going out with the man.

So you understand the closure thing and where am coming from?

Right so, lets look at the facts.

1. You were seeing a guy - But not now?
2. Treats you like you don't exist - How?
3. Got no closure - What do you mean by that? Surely item 1 answers that for you? (in particular, the word "were")
4. Think he's back with his ex. - How difficult would it be to find out?
5. Leaves you dangling. - How? Surely that would answer item 3, i.e. the "closure" you require?
6. Asked you out and you said no, then you said yes. - Did you actually go out with him? If you didn't, well then no, you are not "technically going out with the man" And if you did go out with him why can't you just ring him and ask him where you stand? No one here can answer that question for you.

biko

Maybe he's just waiting for your call/text?

dundalk cailin

Ah...so i can look forward to more of the same in my 20s

davie_b

dundalk cailin wrote:

Ah...so i can look forward to more of the same in my 20s

yes more of the same!!!!

Chucky the tree

dundalk cailin wrote:

Ah...so i can look forward to more of the same in my 20s

dont worry, you might die before then.



so cheer up! :v:

jonny68

Fancyaguy wrote:

Mid 20s. Think Id have learned by now from previous relationships. I fancy a guy. Was seeing him for a while infact, now treats me like I dont exist. Thing is, I still fancy him. Am desperate to move on. Weird how I got so attached to him in so little time. Feel down about it. Am doing the "maybe its me" thing.

Got no closure so think its a bit harder to move on. Think he is back with his ex. If he is, fine, nothing I can do about it, but that leaves me dangling.

Thanks for reading.

Always the way,most women are attracted to men who treat them bad,took me long enough to work out that nice guys ultimately get nowhere,you could probably meet a nice guy but ultimately you'll get bored and pine for the bad guy.

dundalk cailin

thanks for the vote of confidence chucky!! well ive hit the start of the twenties so i guess ill take my chances...:cool:

Wurly

im in the same predicament at the moment. Have been led on for the past three months. Was flirted with while I still had a boyfriend. Realised that I had met someone special and decided to finish it with my guy to be with him. I thought he felt the same as he kept saying that he couldnt get me out of his head and that id be better for him than his ex. So we ended up kissing - nothing more (I dont do that). He then said he didnt want a relationship - fair enough but we had become friends and he stopped all contact after that. Now I find out he's back with his ex. Yes I still like him but that will pass now that ive realised that I was just there to fuel his ego.

If a guy isnt willing to fight for you, then leave well alone. You're better than that. Time will heal, boring cliche but true. You just need another interest. Get out there and have a look at whats on offer. Soon enough that guy will be a distant memory. good luck.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the advice. As most suggested, think will leave alone. Not fair sometimes the way people treat each other. I'd prefer someone who is up front and honest.
Is it really that hard to be honest, you know saying "I am not interested in you anymore".

davie_b

Fancyaguy wrote:

Thanks for the advice. As most suggested, think will leave alone. Not fair sometimes the way people treat each other. I'd prefer someone who is up front and honest.
Is it really that hard to be honest, you know saying "I am not interested in you anymore".

but if you were willing to devote a post to him you musta been!?
saying anythang else in my opinion(as i said my!!) is
acope owt just a taught!?!:)

Ickle Magoo

jonny68 wrote:

Always the way,most women are attracted to men who treat them bad,took me long enough to work out that nice guys ultimately get nowhere,you could probably meet a nice guy but ultimately you'll get bored and pine for the bad guy.

That's not true.....some women may like idiots but most (adult females) like good guys....:)

BaZmO*

jonny68 wrote:

Always the way,most women are attracted to men who treat them bad,took me long enough to work out that nice guys ultimately get nowhere,you could probably meet a nice guy but ultimately you'll get bored and pine for the bad guy.

There's a big difference between being a nice guy and being a sap. I think you will find that more often than not it's the latter that gets treated like a doormat.

Ickle Magoo

BaZmO* wrote:

There's a big difference between being a nice guy and being a sap. I think you will find that more often than not it's the latter that gets treated like a doormat.

Exactly, girls love confident guys who are assertive, not necessarily men who will cheat on them or who are nasty guys....unfortunately it is quite difficult to tell the difference on first meeting.....:)