weird sayings...

Kermitt

Fu*k me pink with a whitewash brush

I would says she but the grass is wet

As tight as a camel's ar$e on a sandstorm

as mad as a brush (how mad are brushes?)

he wouldn't kick $hite off a wet hen (my dad's favourite watchin football)

Huggles

this is one I like.....

I'm so hungry I'd eat a childs ar$e throught the bars of his crib.....

I honestly think the Irish have the best turn of phrase in the world

meldrew

He's as odd as the two cheeks of me arse and all they see all day is sh*te

RoundyMooney

[Father Ted Crilly] I don't beeellliiieeeeevvveee it! [/Father Ted Crilly]

_blank_

I'm so hungry I'd eat the arse of a low flying child.

I'm so hungry I'd eat a scabby dog.

As tight as a nuns cnut on sunday.

themole

so hungry i could eat:
the hind legs of the lamb of god.
a small child and chips
a scabby baby

reffering to a hot bird:
i'd walk bare foot through broken glass to put a candle in her ****e

is_that_so

Heard this once

"You couldn't score in a brothel with a fistful of fivers"

tintinr35

your as dry as hobby horses sh1t

kc66

"may the crows never light on your spuds" - gratitude

"If i won a goldfish he would drown himself" - I have bad luck

"Im as tired as a crows elbow after a long flight" - bit stupid but I couldn't stop laughing when I heard it.

rsta

another one...

sure he's useless he couldnt organise a piss up in a brewery

:v: :v:

rsta

another one...

when watching football...

he couldnt kick snow off a rope!

Hydroquinone

Sure if it was raining soup, I'd be out with a fork = I'm unlucky
As much use as tits on a bull = Useless
As mad as a bag of jam - how mad would a bag of jam be, I wonder?

deisemum

about as useful as a chocolate teapot = useless

Plastic Scouser

Hagar wrote:

As scarce as hobby horse's shyte


WTF Is a bobby horse? Have you had your hearing tested recently

No hearing test needed....they're bobby-horses where I come from! In my part of the world a hobby-horse is one of those horses heads on a stick, and a bobby-horse is a horse on a carousel!

mickymg2003

"The Finest woman to ever pi$$ through Hair" - Dont ask
"The head on yer one and the price of turnips"
"As rare as Rocking Horse Sh1te"
"He'd ate the bollox of a low flying duck"
"He Wouldnt score in a brothel" - Watching Football
"Sour as Cats Pi$$"

deisemum

Don't f*ck with a duck cos a duck don't f*ck

Sparky

"as usefull as a one legged man in an arse kicking contest"

"its 6 of one and half a dozen of the other"

"better looking at it, than for it"

"he so useless he couldnt organise a **** in a brothel"

"shes so ugly she has a face for radio"

Some funny ones from being on sites

"please be quiet", "OK ill use my rubber hammer and nails"

"Go to the hardwares and get a sky hook"

"Can ya grab me the bucket of Hawww for the window"

"Have you seen my Pudding bender"

Dyr

He's a heart the size of wren's bollix

ate leg of of the lamb of jaysus

does the pope kiss runways?
does the pope **** in the woods?
does the pope fall outta baths?

Terry

as thick as two short planks. how thick are these planks?
how are the balls of your feet?
i'd eat chips out of her knickers.

skye

A few more....

- He / she's not the height of two turf...

- I did'nt come up the Lough in a bubble ( my mums..)

- Not as green as you're cabbage looking

- any more dour and you'd need hinges ( nordies pronunce door like this )

- Like hens teeth - hard to find

- Wouldn't give you the skin off their arse

- My mouths as dry as an Arabs sandal

- I could sleep on a clothes-line

Plastic Scouser

Hydroquinone wrote:

Sure if it was raining soup, I'd be out with a fork

I love that one!

I think this must be the land of the funny sayings...since I moved over here I've heard a new one every day, and they never fail to make me laugh! Lovely stuff!

arbeitsscheuer

I'm goin' for a burst o the banjo = I'm going to the toilet

Terry

i'd eat the scabs off a lepers arse - hungry.

Eminem

SebtheBum wrote:

I'm goin' for a burst o the banjo = I'm going to the toilet

I have never heard that one before you here something knew every day LMAO:D

arbeitsscheuer

I'll be back in two shakes of a lamb's tail = I'll be back soon

c - 13

Might have posted these before -

F*ucking Inverted Wh0remaster - when something goes wrong
Sweating like a black lad on a rape charge in georgia
so ugly the tide wouldnt take him/her out
so ugly a sniper wouldnt take him/her out
I wouldnt ride her into battle
The only way id ride her is in the grand national
I'm so hungry id eat the arse off a nun through a convent gate
I'm so hungry id eat Jesus himself down off the cross

deisemum

Her nose is so stuck up in the air it's up the arse of God - about snob

deisemum

If someone says I think I've a turtle neck in my pants - means they're touching cloth and need to go cr*p

dSTAR

I thought I'd throw in a few weird sayings from Australia into the mix. There are so many godamn aussies in Ireland so next time you are in a bar you can impress them with these classics...

Budgie smuggler - what an old geezer wears on the beach!

Feelin crook - sick

Dinkum, fair dinkum - true, real, genuine I'm a dinkum Aussie; is he fair dinkum?

Bludger - somebody on state handouts

Rip snorter - cool, excellent - it was a rip snorter of a party last night

Root (verb and noun) : synonym for f*ck in nearly all its senses: I feel rooted; this washing machine is rooted; she's a good root. A very useful word in fairly polite company.

FX Meister

"A strang woggler in the hand is worth two in gushberry"

deisemum

going for a gypsy's kiss - female going for a pee
going to shake hands with the devil - man going for a pee
as mad as a whore in a honda - very cross
hung like a donkey - very well built male extension :;)

rsta

I've seen more hair on a cat sh*t under a bed. = Said about some guys 'beard'

KTRIC

"ah there ye are " - why do people say this, if I wasn't here were else would I be ?? think about it

arbeitsscheuer

"up sh*t creek without a paddle"

kinda surprised nobody had already mentioned this tbh.

wexhun

If I fell into a barrel full of diddies I'd come out sucking my thumb.:D
About as useful as a handbrake on a canoe.:rolleyes:
Up me hole picking daises (when someone asks u where something that you don't have is):p
Kids are like farts you can just about stand your own.;)
Shes all fur coat and no knickers.

Kernel32

"I was talking to the organ grinder, not the monkey".

Great put down line that I like to use now and then.