Messy Flatmate??

gabriella

2 of my best friends and I are sharing an student apartment in with another girl whom we did not know before we moved in. We have been leaving here since September and only really see this girl on the odd occasions which to be fair is kinda understandable enough with different schedules and what not. Myself and my friends can go for a fortnight without seeing her at all and if it was not for the mess she leaves we would assume she wasn't there which brings me to the problem. She rarely cleans up after herself she leaves half eaten bowls of cereal and plates and glasses all with food left on them lying around. Its not that we are complete neatfreaks or anything its just that food going off on plates left on the table doesn't appeal to us. We end up having to clean up after her constantly and because we never see her actually in the appartment its hard to get her to see us doing this. We did say it to her some time ago about doing her share yet it seemed to have absolutely no effect. She has never brought out bins or swept the floor nothing.:mad: It doesn't seem to register with her that she has to do her own housework. Any advice on what to do with our lazy messy flatmate??

neacy69

tell her to clean up after herself or get the fup out

marie_85

Have you tried 'going on strike'. Maybe the problem is that you're clearing up after her. If needs be pile the dishes in her room so you don't have to look at them. But in the end she'll get the message when there's no clean dishes for her. It will drive you insane in the meantime but the longer she gets away with it, the more she'll do it. I presume she washes her own clothes etc?

Been in the situation, where you don't want to clean up after her but if you don't you end up with no dishes to eat off. Talk to her about it and if she continues her behavior, lock the dishes, cutlery, mugs, etc away in someones room so she can't use them! Leave her with one plate that she will have to wash

Beruthiel

neacy69 wrote:

tell her to clean up after herself or get the fup out

agreed
it's as easy as that

Milk Lover

I had te same poblem twise. Once in colege and once in amarica. I use to sleep i n th living room on the floor and the dirty bit*hes use to trow tere fu*king food boxes and clothes and end up not cleanin up aftre themselves (my bedroom as well). I gave up cleaning and made a couple of new friends in a couple of mice. I didnt mind them, i touht they were nice. Fuking bi*tches cleaned up then.

Stephanos

Show her respect and speak to her directly. One of you should agree to talk to her alone so she doesn't feel like you are both ganging up on her. When two friends share a house with a stranger it can be a recipe for disaster.

Some people when they move out of the family home and live alone for the 1st time are simply unable to look after themselves. Despite the fact they no longer live at home they still somehow think that mammy will still be cleaning up after them. Don't do anymore cleaning for her and talk to her about it as soon as you can.

Samhildanach

marie_85 wrote:

Maybe the problem is that you're clearing up after her. If needs be pile the dishes in her room so you don't have to look at them.

I completely agree, put all her rubbish and leftovers in her room. The smell of the decomposing leftovers will stink up her room and she might get the idea.

Or else you could buy some paper cups and plates and put her name on them!! Leave them in clear sight on the kitchen counter - with her name clearly printed in big red letters - if that doesn't get her attention I don't know what will.

xzanti

Dirty b*tch :eek: .. Id take all the dirty plates and crap she leaves around and leave them sitting on her bed till she came back... Just to highlight the problem to her.. Id say that might change things a bit...

Third_Echelon

Its like house training a puppy. Stick its nose in its own sh*t and it soon gets the picture.

Obviously first, try the talking approach. If that doesn't work go to the Plan B, which is dirty plates in her room, mess in her room. She will soon get the picture.

Ickle Magoo

OP,

Set a time that you can all sit down & discuss the issues & say to her what you have said here....draw up a cleaning rota & ask her to follow it so the cleaning & tidying is shared.....she may well just be lazy or used to someone else doing the cleaning & need a bit of a kick up the backside to clean up after herself & do her share of cleaning......as you live together, the best approach is to start off being polite and asking in a mature & friendly manner before resorting to threats or dumping dirty dishes on her bed....best of luck

the_syco

Don't clean the dishes, and only clean what you need. After a while she'll complain that you don't clean your dishes, and you can respond that you only clean your own dishes, and not hers. She should get the message.

BeardyGit

Either tell her to clean up her act or get out

OR

Tell her she'll have to pay for a housekeeper to come in and clean up her dirt, or get out.

No messing about. She's a flat/house-mate - Not a friend who's failings you forgive.

In fairness, one of my housemates is a bit of a dirty git - Clothes, dishes and the rest left in a heap. I clean up after him though as he's never late paying his bills and causes the rest of us absolutely no problems whatsoever apart from the little bit of extra work. We don't have a rota as in my experience that just comes across to everyone else as a bit petty and somewhat patronising. We're all adults, with different priorities and schedules. And most importantly, we all have our weaknesses. If I had to put up with him coming in pished on weeknights, having friends 'round making noise when the rest of us were up early to go to work, it would be a different story. But he's a nice enough lad who's just too busy and too 'mammy-d' to know any better. It's not my place to lecture him and I can live with washing a few extra dishes and loading the washing machine once a week. He knows he's dropping the ball but he'll make up for it in his own way - Picking up some beers for the rest of us once in a while (he doesn't drink) or calling to find out if anyone wants anything picked up in the shops late night at the weekends. Consideration is shown in many forms.

Don't dwell on it, and don't sit around with your other housemates bitching about it - It's not that complicated - Decide what you can deal with and then lay out the law. One of you has to be the 'boss' in the house so that should be the person who calls the shots (ultimately) and delivers the instructions/options to the 'messy' housemate.

Gil

BeardyGit

the_syco wrote:

Don't clean the dishes, and only clean what you need. After a while she'll complain that you don't clean your dishes, and you can respond that you only clean your own dishes, and not hers. She should get the message.

Sorry Syco, but that's petty and childish. Tit for tat isn't the way to address your grievances - Not after you've finished primary school.

Gil

biko

Nah, the only way to deal with it is that you tell her _everyone_ clean their stuff right away after eating, not in 15 minutes, not after watching a bit of telly, not...
These people are "out of sight, out of mind", they don't mean to be dirty - trying to get back at them will not work.

the_syco

Gil_Dub wrote:

Sorry Syco, but that's petty and childish. Tit for tat isn't the way to address your grievances - Not after you've finished primary school.

Gil

Tit for tat maybe, but it works like a charm.

Otherwise you're the fool who cleans up for him. Nothing personal, but if you clean up for someone just because he [strike]can't[/strike] won't do it himself, then thats just being a mammy for him.

We (me + other house mates) cleaned up after the messy people, but after a while got sick of it, and left it go to hell. They then got the message, and tidied up. They claimed they didn't clean up, as they thought "we liked to tidy up":eek: Yeah. I don't think so. 1st years generally think that mammy will clean up for them, as per usual, and be-jeasus, that lad must have it handy. Away from home, and he gets his clothes washed for him.

So yeah, if for some reason you think that doing his chores is helping him, you're badly mistaken.

OP: either do the chores for her like Gil_Dub is doing, or stop doing her work for her. When you share an apartment with someone, paying the bills is only half the experience. She should also clean up after herself. As this has gone on since September, I don't think she has taken any of your hints.

Laguna

To be honest, the only approach you can take that'll offer immediate results will be to tell her "Clean up your mess or find somewhere else to live". I, like yourself can't stand messy bastards and it's completely unfair that you have to end up cleaning up after this person, it's time it stopped, you have to confront her.

Faith

I have that problem but without the option of telling the messy one(s) to leave (University accomodation). Eventually, after trying to only wash up after myself, I stuck a note above the sink telling EVERYONE who used anything to wash it up immediately. It worked too because the note is at eye level. Failing that, stick a notice on her door every time she doesn't wash up, asking her to. It will catch other peoples attention and she'll (hopefully) feel embarrassed and clean up.