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Actual call centre conversation....

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  • 17-02-2006 10:48am
    #1
    Sharp
    Registered Users Posts: 482 ✭✭


    May have been posted before.


    There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a
    long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired This is
    a true story fro m the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from
    a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the
    Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the
    Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause".
    Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now
    I know why they record these conversations!):

    Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"
    Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
    Operator: "What sort of trouble??"
    Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden
    the words went away."
    Operator: "Went away?"
    Caller: "They disappeared."
    Operator: "Hmm So what does your screen lo ok like now?"
    Caller: "Nothing."
    Operator: "Nothing??"
    Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

    Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"
    Caller: "How do I tell?"
    Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"
    Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"
    Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the
    screen?"
    Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't
    accept anything I type."
    Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"
    Caller: "What's a monitor?"
    Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like
    a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"
    Caller: "I don't know."
    Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find
    where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"
    Caller: "Yes, I think so."
    Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if
    it's plugged into the wall.
    Caller: "Yes, it is."
    Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that
    there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"
    Caller: "No."
    Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again
    and find the other cable."
    Caller: "Okay, here it is."
    Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged
    securely into the back of your computer."
    Caller: "I can't reach."
    Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"
    Caller: "No."
    Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and
    lean way over??"
    Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle
    - it's because it's dark."
    Operator: "Dark??"
    Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light
    I have is coming in from the window.
    " Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."
    Caller: &nbs p; "I can't."
    Operator: "No? Why not??"
    Caller: "Because there's a power failure."
    Operator: "A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it
    licked now.
    Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer
    came in??"
    Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
    Operator: &n bsp; "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and
    pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the
    store you bought it from."
    Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"
    Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
    Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell
    them??"
    Operator: "Tell them you're too f*%king stupid to own a
    computer!!!!!"


Comments

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    #2
    Sam Vimes
    Registered Users Posts: 21,611 ✭✭✭✭Sam Vimes


    http://boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2054884200
    http://boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=112105
    http://boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=108005
    http://boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=94589
    http://boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=48079
    http://boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=46352
    http://boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=46560
    Sharp wrote:
    May have been posted before.
    you may be right

    honestly people a search doesn't take that long. those 7 were on the first page of a search for "stupid own computer"


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    #3
    **Timbuk2**
    Moderators, Education Moderators, Motoring & Transport Moderators Posts: 7,395 Mod ✭✭✭✭**Timbuk2**


    What was the deal with the two  

    Did you by any chance pull that from HTML source code :p

    Still very funny :)


  • Options
    #4
    Kazu
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,309 ✭✭✭Kazu


    :D:D i like


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    #5
    arbeitsscheuer
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,391 ✭✭✭arbeitsscheuer


    Jesus christ, I was telling that one back when I was in 1st year... In Secondary school... In 1997...


  • Options
    #6
    Karoma
    Registered Users Posts: 19,396 ✭✭✭✭Karoma


    SebtheBum wrote:
    Jesus christ, I was telling that one back when I was in 1st year... In Secondary school... In 1997...
    And,even at that, you were slow..


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    #7
    arbeitsscheuer
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,391 ✭✭✭arbeitsscheuer


    Karoma wrote:
    And,even at that, you were slow..
    Hey, I was 12, gimme a break!:D


  • Options
    #8
    magick
    Registered Users Posts: 2,478 ✭✭✭magick


    ahh how i remember 1937........


  • Options
    #9
    Capt'n Midnight
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 91,906 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    Sharp wrote:
    Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause".

    http://www.snopes.com/humor/business/wordperf.htm
    Stupid computer user" stories abound, and the genre is so well stocked that it would be impossible to give more than a brief overview of the more common tales:

    * Attempting to use the mouse as a footpedal. not taking the mouse out of the bubble wrap bag

    * Holding a document up to the screen, thinking the monitor will somehow scan and fax it.tippex on monitor

    * Attaching floppy diskettes to the side of a metal filing cabinet with magnets.using a punch so they will fit in a ring binder, or stapelling a compliment slip to them and then posting to the states

    * Using the CD-ROM drive as a cupholder.do you mean the "round mirrors with holes in them" ?

    * Failing to find the "any" key when instructions call for "strike any key."

    * Picking up the mouse, pointing it at the screen, and clicking it as if it were a remote control.

    * Photocopying a diskette when asked to make a copy.and faxing them

    * Unplugging something vital to the computer's operation to free the outlet for a tea kettle or toaster, causing a company-wide server crash day after day.Novell 2.2 server , Cleaners :eek:

    * inserting the printer driver disk into the font cartridge slot of the printer


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    #10
    memphis
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,964 ✭✭✭memphis


    SebtheBum wrote:
    Jesus christ, I was telling that one back when I was in 1st year... In Secondary school... In 1997...
    Yeah gotta admit that its pretty old ok.

    Might be fair to say that its a classic!!!!


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    #11
    odarallo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 138 ✭✭odarallo


    I received a call the other day and it was so thick..

    Me : Hi you are through to the help desk how can i help you.

    Lady : Hi I would like to order a bulb for my monitor.

    Me: Sorry a what?

    Lady: A bulb.

    Me: Sorry what do you need a bulb for?

    Lady : My screen is to dark.

    Me: Erm right ill send an engineer out to have a look! (Weird old ladys)

    Some people can be so thick in all fairness


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  • Options
    #12
    Karoma
    Registered Users Posts: 19,396 ✭✭✭✭Karoma


    odarallo wrote:
    I received a call the other day and it was so thick..
    Me : Hi you are through to the help desk how can i help you.
    Lady : Hi I would like to order a bulb for my monitor.
    Me: Sorry a what?
    Lady: A bulb.
    Me: Sorry what do you need a bulb for?
    Lady : My screen is to dark.
    Me: Erm right ill send an engineer out to have a look! (Weird old ladys)
    Some people can be so thick in all fairness

    A backlight perhaps?


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