Lonely & Lost.

LegacyUser

Hi all boarders. My problem, if it even is one is that I am constantly thinking about someone that is no more a part of my life. My first love of 5 years broke it off a year ago and I haven’t progressed massively I moving on yet. She felt we were going nowhere, and that she cared for me only as a friend. It took a while to come to terms with the fact that it was completely over, she was a big part of my life and I honestly thought nothing was wrong. After a few weeks of crying and saying horrible things to one another after breakup, I had to just get on with things.

What I noticed the most is that I made this girl to be all my life, I looked through my phonebook in my mobile and all I saw was old school friends, my bosses number, family and a few people I go to college with. It dawned on me, Im now a loner! Furthermore a loner in the backarse of nowhere. Maybe a loner is a bit harsh of a word but I don’t have really good friends. And even though I was with this gorgeous girl for over 5 years there is no girl chasing me and I cant think of anyone Im interested in. I try to stay active, concentrating on studying and doin anything the lads in my college year does but I still feel that hole. Im doin my best to be mates with all the lads. That’s all well but they all have their own mates and girlfriends. I know I should prob go a chat up some girl or re-fill that hole with somebody else but my confidence has taken a battering. Also, I don’t want any pretty face, one night stands or anything like that doesn’t appeal to me. Im laid back person but Im kinda needy when it comes to having a decent girl in my life. I like to be liked. I like to be with that kind,goodlooking,smart,funny girl (doesn’t everyone) and enjoy my time with her. Sounds like a load of sh*t I know but that’s how I feel and think.

I just want to feel wanted. I felt wanted and loved for 5 years – and it still sort of hurts that that feeling is gone. She was a nice person, a great person to me and my family, I got involved too deeply too soon and too young, and we smothered one another in the process. What to do? I haven’t a clue

Nevyn

It can be really hard to get back out there and it sounds like your not ready to start looking for another relationship.
I do know the feeling that the completeness and the depth of what you can can't be easily replaced and a casual things won't replace what you are missing.
I would suggest that you get on with your life take up old sports and hobbys and start filling up your time with things you enjoy doing until you are ready to get entangled with some one new.

lyrama

From experience, I'd say just take a break. That hole swallows you up and sometimes it feels like you're hopeless and you can't get out of it. It's hard but you have to be able to make yourself happy first before you can let anybody make you happy and before you can do the same for somebody else. We all have people that love and care about us out there, even if it's not apparent and we can't see it. The people who seem to have it all, who are popular feel that void space too, people put up fronts and facades. Over thinking and over contemplating things bog you down and inhibts yourself to grow. Just try and find yourself, have fun, do what you want and enjoy. Don't feel like you have to go out and find that "someone" or that you have to feel particular feeling. I've lost people who I care about too, two best friends who were like sisters to me. There's nothing you can really do besides moving on and just living every moment like it's ur last, live life to the fullest. Don't worry you're not alone in feeling that way, most of the people I know really feel like that! Hope everything works out for you man !

LegacyUser

so just let time do its thing? God its some killer from feelin so good one minute to feelin like sh*t the next. but i shud be happy i suppose, im healthy as are all my family so i shudnt be whineing as much!

AngryBadger

qazzar wrote:

so just let time do its thing? God its some killer from feelin so good one minute to feelin like sh*t the next. but i shud be happy i suppose, im healthy as are all my family so i shudnt be whineing as much!

At this level what you're dealing with is akin to a death. You were with this person for 5 years, they were an integral part of your life, and now they're not. You don't just switch that off, it'll take time for it to go away. Plus you always feel like it's your fault in some way, like there's something you could have done to change the outcome, but there isn't, sometimes peple just aren't right for each other, and as you said yourself, you were both young, and got in too deep, too quick. then when you broke up, you foudn that all of your most powerful emotions were tied into this girl, and now she was gone, taking alot of that stuff with her.

Listen to Thaedydal, do things you like for the next while, because you need to remind yourself that you were a confident, happy person before the two of you were together, and you deserve to be that again.

To be fair, it doesn't sound like you're indulging, it sounds like you just want to get on with it, and that tells me that you will just get on with it, sooner or later something will tick over in the back of your head and you'll be fine again.

Peace out.

Nalz

Well said. Ive been through crap like this myself and tryin to get on with things too. its bollix alright to put it mildly!

Nevyn

The end of a relationship is like a death we lose that person and who we were to that person.
There is a cycle of grief that goes with that, denial, anger, depression, bargaining, and acceptance.
You just have to do what ever it is you neeed to get on with your life and to make yourself happy.