The Urinalysis

lovell

and don't say its been posted before because i really couldn't care less...

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him, my elbow hurts terribly. I guess I better see a doctor." "Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer at the Chemists down the road. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars... a heck of a lot cheaper than a doctor."

So Jack collects a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to the chemists. He deposits ten dollars and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into a funnel and waits.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, scraped some oil off the driveway and masturbated into the mixture for good measure. Jack hurries back to the chemists, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.

The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her in to rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant...twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. Your Volvo needs repair.
6. And if you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.

Wasn't this posted yesterday or something

rugbug86

bluewolf wrote:

Wasn't this posted yesterday or something

yes!

and it wasn't original then either!

Rhyme

Put a smile on my face, a sense of deja vú though...

lovell

ah yes, sorry bout that

istep

Oh who cares if it was posted yesterday like we all trawl thru old stuff lookin for a joke we missed !! Lighten up.

Methinks the people who always always always jump in with " thats so old just do a search man " are like the people who used to listen to Gay Byrne on the radio years ago .... just sitting there waiting to be offended !!

Karoma

istep wrote:

Oh who cares if it was posted yesterday like we all trawl thru old stuff lookin for a joke we missed !! Lighten up.

Methinks the people who always always always jump in with " thats so old just do a search man " are like the people who used to listen to Gay Byrne on the radio years ago .... just sitting there waiting to be offended !!

Well, in fairness reposts should be tolerated - unless they're clearly noticable on the first page.

dinjo

lovell wrote:

and don't say its been posted before because i really couldn't care less...

What did the man say.....

biko

lovell wrote:

and don't say its been posted before because i really couldn't care less...

You Sir are a humbug!