Feel like a cheapskate after date!

LegacyUser

Hi,

I will keep this one anon..

I feel so bad cause I made such a mistake tonight! I might be making a mountain out of a molehill but.. I took a girl to the cinema tonight and when I got there I just bought one ticket and as I was walking away from the counter I just realised that I had only one one ticket. I just wasnt thinking when I was at the counter! I feel like such a cheapskate now and am really worried that she will feel the same. Do you think that she might just dismiss it as we are both students and obviously money would be tight ? BTW thats not the way I feel, I know I should have paid her in..

How can I redeem myself from this situation as it is all down to me just taking a short trip to space! How do I let her know how I feel? What should I do now?

Thanks

Victor

Cheapskate wrote:

Do you think that she might just dismiss it as we are both students and obviously money would be tight ? BTW thats not the way I feel, I know I should have paid her in..

You took her on a date, you did not buy her.

How do I let her know how I feel?

Tell her.

What should I do now?

If you like her, invite her over for dinner (you will need to provide dinner).

StupidLikeAFox

Victor wrote:

(you will need to provide dinner).

And dont give her a bill at the end!

It prob isnt that big a deal to her, how did the rest of the date go? At worst she prob thinks it was a little odd of ya not to pay for her, but its a really minor detail

Supercell

Lol, this is the 00's!

If you asked her out and shes a student then maybe feel guilty, otherwise don't see any problem.
That said, if i asked her out, i'd expect to do the paying now that i'm not a poor student

Seishin

Educational Factor: Women are NOT cheap. Fine women especially. If you're asking someone out for a date, and you like the person, just pay.

Flowers also work at some times, but you never know.

And like mentioned, she may think odd of you for making her pay. Did she make like some sort of face or expression when you told her to pay?

-Seishin

lyrama

Do something romantic; like seranade her, write a poem about her or good old flowers, red roses do the trick;) !

LegacyUser

We are both students by the way and for the record I know I should have paid for her and I would always do that but what do I do now that I slipped up? I suppose bring her iut for a few drinks and buy her a few but then she might just think Im trying to get her drunk. Becuase anytime i have offered to buy a my girl a drink in the past they always refuse cause they are being polite but when I buy them one I feel bad cause I think they think im trying to get em drunk..

That was a fairly rough, badly written block of text with no punctuation, but anyway!

Grem

Dont let it stress you out too much, as ColHol said it really is a minor detail. Next time you go out, to the cinema, or for a drink pay then. Obviously not for every drink, but the first one or two will help you get back in the good books if she's in any way taken aback by you only buying yourself a cinema ticket!
If i liked the guy and that happened to me id overlook it.

LegacyUser

ColHol wrote:

how did the rest of the date go?

To be honest I didnt think it went well.. We have been "meeting" for the last 3 weeks now and have been getting on fine.. but after the date when we were walking home.. we passed her place on the way to the bus and she never even asked me in.. I thaught i'd get the bus then so she walked with me to get it.. we didn't even kiss when I was leaving.
The relationship had been going well.. when we are out with a few drinks it is all good but when we are both sober things are just a bit awkward. I think it is only beacuse its early days yet but i feel so bad after tonight..

Ag marbh

Thats actually very funny.


Don't stress over that old fashioned stuff.

gerTheGreat

Cheapskate wrote:

Hi,

I will keep this one anon..

I feel so bad cause I made such a mistake tonight! I might be making a mountain out of a molehill but.. I took a girl to the cinema tonight and when I got there I just bought one ticket and as I was walking away from the counter I just realised that I had only one one ticket. I just wasnt thinking when I was at the counter! I feel like such a cheapskate now and am really worried that she will feel the same. Do you think that she might just dismiss it as we are both students and obviously money would be tight ? BTW thats not the way I feel, I know I should have paid her in..

How can I redeem myself from this situation as it is all down to me just taking a short trip to space! How do I let her know how I feel? What should I do now?

Thanks

It's the 21st century and all that. She's her own woman. Besides, as you said you're a student, we're all piss poor.
However if you really feel badly about it, next time you're out together, pick up the bill. This is regardless of the cost.

Ickle Magoo

Why not phone her up & tell her to make up for forgotting to buy her cinema ticket you are cooking dinner/taking her to the pub/taking her out for dinner/taking her to the cinema again/whatever? That way you acknowledge to her that you meant to buy the ticket but you aren't begging an appology for it and it gives a good first line on asking her out again.....she may think you meant it! Best of luck

le-dub

I dont mean to rub it in, but if i was you i would be feeling pretty low, especially if your both in the same college and she tells her friends. The best thing to do is apologise and tell her was a mistake and aske her out again for a few drinks and pay fro everything. I dont agree with the men paying for everything all the time, but the first date i think you should, especially if you asked her out.

Bluetonic

Get in contact with her asap and invite her to the cinema again, if she mentions the non-payment incident, tell her not to worry and that you've every intention of paying for her the next time.............once she pays for you.

SparkyLarks

Don't stress it. It's the 00's.
If your worried , flowers they always work.

Pigman II

Damn you cheap!

TBH I don't see how that could happen. Whenever I'm at the cinema I'll always just buy all the tickets in one go and then try sort it out later (alternatively someone else will buy them all and then I'll sort it out with them.) It tends to balance out in the long term naturally anyway.

That said tho taking someone to dinner just cos you forgot to buy them a cinema ticket seems a bit ott.

chump

why don't you just say it to her, laugh it off... woulda been better on the night obviously!

Something like "I'm so used to going (it) alone" or "I thought we could share the seat"

There's a time and a place for great gags, and last night was one of them.

Lux23

Bring her out for a meal and pay for it all. That should impress her.

Miss Fluff

Ickle Magoo wrote:

Why not phone her up & tell her to make up for forgotting to buy her cinema ticket you are cooking dinner/taking her to the pub/taking her out for dinner/taking her to the cinema again/whatever? That way you acknowledge to her that you meant to buy the ticket but you aren't begging an appology for it and it gives a good first line on asking her out again.....she may think you meant it! Best of luck

Agreed

BoozyBabe

I never expect a man to pay for me, I like to pay my own way, but in saying that:- for cinema, bowling etc, I'd pay for the tickets tonight & then he'd pay for the tickets the next night. We'd never both just buy our own ticket:- something very cold about that (very non-coupley)

But, you realise that you made a mistake & it wasn't your intention, so you're not a cheapskate, so make it up to her.

I wouldn't suggest cinema, as because it's a new relationship you'd prob be even more embarrassed & it would make her think of the last time also.

Phone her, or meet her, tell her you're very sorry about the cinema, you genuinely never thought & it wasn't your intention, tell her you want to make it up to her, (& then depending on finances) suggest going for a meal, or bowling, or ice skating, or a day away somewhere (like shopping etc) & you pay for her.
Show her you're making an effort.
More than likely (with us being V modern women & all) you'll find if you buy the tickets, she'll want to get paying for the snacks. (BTW, if she doesn't make a move on the snacks, you buy them anyway, as you do have making up to do)

She'd need to be very unreasonable not to forgive you after that.

Best of luck

AngryBadger

If you're both students and she's getting thick about this, I'd let her go. In fairness, it's the noughties for one thing, as wel presumable she knows you, and should know this isn't form.

I'd think just make sure you don't make that mistake again, but tbh, on a students budget she has a cheek getting into a twist about this.

If you really feel it's an issue, maybe buy her an extra drink next time, or surprise her with cinema tickets. Personally, after just 3 weeks, I'd consider that a little "bunny-boiler"-ish, but each to their own.

I don't get it actually, whenever going to the cinema with someone we always buy the tickets in one go and sort out the paying afterward. Or he gets tickets, I get snacks, it comes to about the same anyway.

She shouldn't be too bothered, but might think it was a little off, so ring her asap and say you meant to but forgot etc

justsomebloke

wow first date and you already forgot about her, thats pretty good. Ye if i was her it wouldn't of been that you didn't pay but maybe the not asking part, cause she probably would of paid for herself she just may have like the offer

Pigman II

jsb wrote:

wow first date and you already forgot about her, thats pretty good.

Hey if it can happen to Ted Kennedy it can happen to anyone.

koolthefunk

Wouldn't worry about it, in the grand scheme of things don't think it will make her like or dislike you.

cance

koolthefunk wrote:

Wouldn't worry about it, in the grand scheme of things don't think it will make her like or dislike you.

very true, and tbh if it does affect her judgement on you... is that a character trait you REALLY are interested in?

just consider her next time, one time isnt the end of the world... imagine forgetting valentines day, then you are in trouble

py2006

BoozyBabe wrote:

I never expect a man to pay for me, I like to pay my own way, but in saying that:- for cinema, bowling etc, I'd pay for the tickets tonight & then he'd pay for the tickets the next night. We'd never both just buy our own ticket:- something very cold about that (very non-coupley)

If only all women were like you! I hate it when a girl just sits there and expects you to pay her way through life! Thankfully they are a dying breed!

Anytime I am out for a drink with a girl be it either as a friend or a date or whatever I would normally get the first drink and perhaps even the second but I find that most decent girls will get the next round.

Or as boozybabe says I pay one week for cinema or whatever and she might pay next.

To the OP, why didn't you just turn around and go back the the ticket box and get another ticket?

BaZmO*

BoozyBabe wrote:

or a day away somewhere (like shopping etc) & you pay for her.

He said that he forgot to pay for her cinema ticket, not his half of the Mortgage repayments.

It was just a mistake (a silly one at that!). I would imagine that the rest of the date didn't go well due to the fact that the ticket thing was playing on your mind and you were probably not being yourself.

I wouldn't go to the extremes that everybody else is suggesting if you're a student. The next time you're out together (if there is a next time) tell her what happened, make a joke of it, and then just move on from it. If she's a nice girl she'll understand.

BoozyBabe

Bazmo, I didn't mean for him to buy her all the stuff while shopping, just pay her bus ticket, taxi fare, drive her, or whatever & spend the day with her & if he wanted, grab a bite to eat at the shopping centre & pay for it, depending on how flush with cash he is (Although most are, not all students are as poor as churh mice)

& thanks Py2006, i'd imagine most girls (not silly little princesses) are like me these days. Why should the guy have to pay for everything. I just wouldn't be happy to allow that to happen.

py2006

Actually a mate of mine came accross one of them little divas the other week!

They met down the local for a drink! He bought 3 rounds of drinks and she just sat there! She was finshed her third before him so he took his time to see would she offer to get the next round.

She didn't so when he was finished his pint he went up to the bar and got one for himself! (oh to be a fly on the wall) He drank it down while she sat there with no drink and then just walked out afterwards without saying anything!

LegacyUser

I am going to ask her out tonight to go for a few drinks. I will pay for the first few if she lets me. We'll see what happens then..
Should I say to her that drinks are on me or something to that effect?

Someone asked why I didnt turn around and buy another ticket.. Because I was kinda nervous and flustered bout the whole thing. It was the first time we were out all on our own and I felt really nervous about the whole thing, It was really crap to TBH cause I am never like that with girls..
Ah well, thank god i'm young and I will just put everything down to experience..

BaZmO*

py2006 wrote:

Actually a mate of mine came accross one of them little divas the other week!

They met down the local for a drink! He bought 3 rounds of drinks and she just sat there! She was finshed her third before him so he took his time to see would she offer to get the next round.

She didn't so when he was finished his pint he went up to the bar and got one for himself! (oh to be a fly on the wall) He drank it down while she sat there with no drink and then just walked out afterwards without saying anything!

Ha ha. Class.

Down through the years I've been out on my fair share of dates and I've only come across 1 girl (ahem!) that was like that. I'd bought 3 drinks without her even making an effort to pay for a round, I just told her that it was her turn for the next round, she wasn't too impressed IIRC. A bit of a "Princess" to say the least.
I think it just shows up a nasty side of a person if they are willing to sit there and have someone pay for them for the whole night.

I'd always pay for the first drink and mostly the second (mainly because I'd probably have finished first) and then if she didn't at least make an effort to pay for the third you'd know what type of girl she was by then.

DAEDULUS

I dont understand where you guys get your ideas from,most likely chick flicks though.....

The MINUTE you start paying for a girls ****, is the moment she starts to lose respect for you.. Imagine you were going out with a girl that insisted on buying everything for you, you'd be thinking, 'wow,shes pretty desperate' .. obviously this is the jackpot for men if you actually like the girl aswell, but with girls, desperation is crap,instant turn off,girls want to be able to wonder about how much you like them/whether you like them, being a desperate bastard leaves no room to wonder, no fun...

DEFINITELY DO NOT go and buy her some bull**** dinner now to make up for it, no flowers,no gifts,nothing,unless shes done something absolutely amazing to deserve it,which i doubt she has...
From now on this is your attitude: It is not gentleman-like to buy girls stuff unless she is going to do the same or has done the same. This girl is not anything particularly amazing, her existence does not earn rewards from you, I do not want a girl who's attention I can only hold through paying for her stuff...
Maybe if your together another month down the line and you really like her you can pay for something and it will actually have more meaning then what your doing now...

DAEDULUS

DAEDULUS wrote:

The MINUTE you start paying for a girls ****, is the moment she starts to lose respect for you.....but with girls, desperation is crap,instant turn off,girls want to be able to wonder about how much you like them/whether you like them, being a desperate bastard leaves no room to wonder, no fun...

That's the biggest load of rubbish, ever.
It is just not true. It is not desperate. And girls do NOT like having to wonder. Better to know from the start. Unless they're 15 or something.

Nevyn

Ok so you have been out 3 times and there has been no kisses.
Are you sure that you are dating in a romatic or even possible shagging context ?
It could be that if neither of you has said anything there could be some miscomunication as to what is or isn't going on, and she thinks you are only or you only want to be friends.

Dates with out kisses .......

DAEDULUS

bluewolf wrote:

That's the biggest load of rubbish, ever.
It is just not true. It is not desperate. And girls do NOT like having to wonder. Better to know from the start. Unless they're 15 or something.

ehh how is it not desperate,why do girls deserve free ****- JUST BECAUSE they are female...thats crap and you know it.. this guy is trying to please her with money,thats desperate...

'Better to know from the start' bull**** lol,if a good looking girl and a guy were flirting,and this guy decides he'l tell her how he feels and confesses,'i really really like you', shes not gonna go 'wow,yeah i feel the same way' NO,SORRY,NEVER HAPPENS...this biatch is gonna bust out the old 'lets just be friends' and why? because the funs over,she knows that she could have him any time she wants,no more game to play..


Dont mean to be offensive here but Im pretty sure your opinion is one of a less attractive woman (sorry,eek), women who are pretty good looking and get quite a bit of attention are offered drinks and other stuff quite a bit,so its not exactly anything special,its more of a let down when a guy tries to impress them with their wallet...while a woman who gets little attention,if shes out with a guy,she'l probably be really appreciative and excited that this guy likes her enough to buy her stuff.... catch my drift? Also,the fact that you dont like any mystery shows me that most likely you havnt been with many guys,thus, when one does come along,you want to know straight away so you know,and can keep him for as long as you want... while with the hot chicks,theres ALWAYS other guys that they can choose from.....

Victor

Pigman II wrote:

That said tho taking someone to dinner just cos you forgot to buy them a cinema ticket seems a bit ott.

Hell, no, its about getting another date.

Nevyn

DAEDULUS, you are going off topic with your rant about gril wanting freebies.
Start your own PI thread or take the issue to humanities.

Off topic postings will get you banned from this forum.
Do read the charter and abide by the rules while posting,
Die dulci freure
Thaedydal

DAEDULUS

DAEDULUS wrote:

ehh how is it not desperate,why do girls deserve free ****- JUST BECAUSE they are female...thats crap and you know it.. this guy is trying to please her with money,thats desperate...

No, he's worried about being rude.

Dont mean to be offensive here but Im pretty sure your opinion is one of a less attractive woman (sorry,eek), women who are pretty good looking and get quite a bit of attention are offered drinks and other stuff quite a bit,so its not exactly anything special,its more of a let down when a guy tries to impress them with their wallet...

:rolleyes: I'm not even going to comment on the first part, because it's pointless. And wrong.

I don't like being impressed with a wallet, obviously, but implying that having a cinema ticket bought for me is desperation is a little lame.

while a woman who gets little attention,if shes out with a guy,she'l probably be really appreciative and excited that this guy likes her enough to buy her stuff.... catch my drift?

I'm used to having stuff bought for me, so much so that the bf has commented on it. I show appreciation, but it's the norm for me. I'm STILL telling you buying a cinema ticket is not desperation.

Also,the fact that you dont like any mystery shows me that most likely you havnt been with many guys,thus, when one does come along,you want to know straight away so you know,and can keep him for as long as you want... while with the hot chicks,theres ALWAYS other guys that they can choose from.....

The fact that you're posting this crap shows me that you're daft. Oops :rolleyes:

metrovelvet

bluewolf wrote:

That's the biggest load of rubbish, ever.
It is just not true. It is not desperate. And girls do NOT like having to wonder. Better to know from the start. Unless they're 15 or something.

BW - I think this is what we are dealing with here. The deed of not getting the cinema ticket is more about inconsideration than cheapness. It's the equivalent of not holding the door open for the person behind you.

OP - dont apologise, just be aware of your date's presence. And seriously, you should be sucking face by now.

There are a couple of guys on this thread with women issues. If you want to fail with women, I suggest you follow their lead. Straight into the homosexual forum.

AngryBadger

what happened to this thread???

OP some girls like to have things bought for them, it's always a nice gesture, and in all honesty it is expected when you're with someone for a prolonged period, but in this case, 3 dates, (and no kisses???), and if she's getting thick about a cinema ticket then you best move on. Or buy her a large popcorn next time to show her what an affluent chap you are.

metrovelvet

metrovelvet wrote:

BW - I think this is what we are dealing with here. The deed of not getting the cinema ticket is more about inconsideration than cheapness. It's the equivalent of not holding the door open for the person behind you.

Ya, hence my post to the other guy about it being worried about rudeness.

I'll agree with AB and such, and leave it at that

metrovelvet

Sorry BW - I meant to say that I think we are talking about 15 year olds, possibly younger.

BW. I wholeheartedly agree with your posts. And ABs.

I notice theres no consideration to how much money we spend on grooming to look well.

PY and Deadalus should find women who 1. dont wax 2. dont wear ANY make up 3. dont go to their hairdresser 4. dont take care of their skin 5. dont keep fit 6. dont wear nice clothes

That way theres plenty of money in a womans pocket to spend on pints.

Smellyirishman

BoozyBabe wrote:

a day away somewhere (like shopping etc) & you pay for her.

Em... I doubt any man could afford that .

Anyway, ring her up or text, whatever, say it was an oversight on your part but you would like to give it another go.

BoozyBabe

BoozyBabe wrote:

a day away somewhere (like shopping etc) & you pay for her.

BazMo* wrote:

He said that he forgot to pay for her cinema ticket, not his half of the Mortgage repayments.

BoozyBabe wrote:

Bazmo, I didn't mean for him to buy her all the stuff while shopping, just pay her bus ticket, taxi fare, drive her, or whatever & spend the day with her & if he wanted, grab a bite to eat at the shopping centre & pay for it, depending on how flush with cash he is.

Smellyirishman wrote:

Em... I doubt any man could afford that .

We've already cleared up that point Smellyirishman!

Dave!

I can see why you'd feel like this!

Just if you're goin out with her again, pay for her and she'll forget about it

Smellyirishman

BoozyBabe wrote:

We've already cleared up that point Smellyirishman!

Hehe , I got to the end of page 1 and in my witty post eagerness I just assumed that was the end of the topic!:rolleyes:

LegacyUser

Lads dont get me wrong, it was just that date went wrong. We have been out a a few times before and kissed on all the occassions. i have even spent a few nights at hers. I am asking myself what to do now. What do I want out of all this. Maybe I am only thinking like this because of last night. I will get onto her tonight to bring her out for a few drinks..
Re: The kissing thing, I dont know why we didnt kiss. I think it's just because I was all flustered and I just couldnt see the right moment. And she didnt kiss me cause my experience is that girls never "go in for the kill"

BoozyBabe

Smellyirishman wrote:

Hehe , I got to the end of page 1 and in my witty post eagerness I just assumed that was the end of the topic!:rolleyes:

Fair enough, you're forgiven this time!!


BTW, I'd be V cheap to take on a date shopping (I hate it!!) All you'd have to buy me would be a Big Mac & Coke!!!:D

Wurly

I dont expect people to pay for me and you shouldnt be just expected to pay for your girl. But if I was getting something for myself, id at least ask the other person and id expect to be asked in return. So if you dont want to look like a cheapskate, Just tell her what happened. that's all. F*ck flowers and making it up to her and all that sh*te. Just explain that you didnt think. You didnt commit the crime of the century.

metrovelvet

Ah........ and they say Irish men aren't romantic....:rolleyes: