bored

LegacyUser

Hey,

Ive been goin out with a guy for nearly a year and hes such a great person. I was hurt in the past and that lead to barriers I put up which have only come down in the last while and my boyfriend still loves me even though hes seen every side of me now,the bad and the good. This is brilliant but Im not sure if I want to be in a long term relationship.

Ive recently started college and whilst I always knew there was a whole other world of guys out there,there is one guy in particular who has caught my eye. He is not as good looking as my boyfriend but I just find myself very strongly attracted to him as we are in to the same things and both very athletic and I find that a turn on. We are training to be fitness instructors and hes very health conscious like myself whereas my boyfriend is your average lad,drinking and watchin tv and doesnt understand my healthiness,hes great fun though and I love him so much.

Obviously I dont know this guy half as well as I know my boyfriend and its probably just a phase im going through(I havent seen my boyfriend very much since I started college),but its like this guy has awakened my senses again! I would never cheat or anythin like that but I get the impression he likes me and I dont know how to handle that, this is my first long term relationship and im very non commital generally,I just havent been happy with my life lately and am planning to leave work soon and start a new job which this guy will also be doing as a consequence of our course,sometimes I feel like I should start afresh completely but the comtemplation of breaking up with my boyfriend who has stuck by me so much and is such a fragile person himself kills me,I cant hurt him,Im just bored I guess and wish we were more into the same things..I dont really know where I'm going with this,sounding off I guess cos ultimately its me who has to make the decision. Any input??

Thanks

ARGINITE

You just have to make your mind up which you want. Theirs no easy way around it even tho you would hurt your current bf by breaking up with him you might hurt him more if your are just staying with him because you don't want to hurt him.

Good luck.

Nevyn

Staying in a relastionship that is dying because your bored or not getting what you need out of it is hurting the other person.
Esp If you don't talk about the issues.
If you going to want to date other people then end the relationship you are in ( unless an open relationship is possible ) and then see whom ever you wish.

We do out grow relationships and people if they don't grow and change.

Ickle Magoo

I think you need to try to get what you want from your relationship by discussing any issues with you b/f.....if you discuss issues and are still not happy then I think it is probably time to move on.....

I found as my emotions grew & matured, I needed to find a partner that was also at that stage.....I often learnt from being with one partner, then outgrew them (that sounds awful, I know - I think most people will know what I mean tho) and eventually I would find someone else & have a more satisfying relationship with them....best of luck

AngryBadger

You can't MAKE yourself and your current bf compatible. It was fine in secondary because the social pressures were different, and your' patterns were largely dictated for you. Your bf suited you in those patterns.

Now you're in college, you have the freedom to do other things, your needs, and wants are changing, and sadly your bf isn't changing with them. It's no-one's fault, it just is.

You need to decide who you want to be with more, your current bf, or the new guy. I suspect it's the new guy, and there's no easy way out of breaking up with your bf in that case.

metrovelvet

As my dad said to me when I was in college " you're way too young to have just ONE boyfriend".

LegacyUser

metrovelvet wrote:

As my dad said to me when I was in college " you're way too young to have just ONE boyfriend".

Lol very true,but I guess it's serious now and hes such a great person he doesnt deserve to be hurt and think the problem is him and it's really me!! I know thats a cliche but in this case it's true. I'm just gonna see how I go for the next while and decide at the end of my course what I want to do I guess. I could come back here then and be like what was I thinking,throwing away what I have for a guy I've known three weeks lol! Who knows! Thanks for the advice!!

UberNewb

To be honest, you should break up with your boyfriend.

He could do with alot better than you.

metrovelvet

Do you think the majority of people who have been victims of heartbreak deserved it? Wouldnt it all be so much easier if love were more of a victimless sport and less of a terrorist activity?

Would you be staying with him because you want to be with him or to avoid the pangs of guilt you would feel if you left him?

Ive posted before about nice guys.

Nice
Nice derives from the Latin root nescius (ignorant), which comes from nescire (not to know). [...] In 14th century French and Middle English, it meant simpleminded, stupid, or foolish. During Chaucer's time, the meaning shifted to lascivious or wanton; you would never bring a "nice" girl home to meet mom and dad. [...] Prior to the 1930's, in fact, dictionaries deemed these definitions merely "colloquial," and hardly anybody said "Have a nice day" before the 1970's.

http://www.renegadelibrarian.com/etymology.htm

Nice \Nice\, a. [Compar. Nicer; superl. Nicest.] [OE.,
foolish, fr. OF. nice ignorant, fool, fr. L. nescius
ignorant; ne not + scius knowing, scire to know. perhaps
influenced by E. nesh delicate, soft. See No, and
Science.]


http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/bore#Etymology_3

Look at what BORE actually means and you will no longer feel so bad. From what I remember in latin, which isnt much, the root of bore means to tear at, to wear away. Now how nice is that?

xx