Constantly Angry

d-redser

Hi,

Over the past few months I have become very angry, even with the slightest little hitch. I could be driving and a thick in front of me makes a mistake, that would set me off for the whole day, I am constanty angry and I dont know what to do about it. Just moved in with the boyf and he is driving me crazy which makes me more angry!

I have tried counselling but they just listen not offer any advice or really talk much and just listening to myself talk for an hour is not helping. Does anyone have any suggestions??

is_that_so

Yoga or any other form of meditation
Lyric FM, especially when you are driving.
Counselling to get to the root of your anger, not to fix it.
Ball games such as squash, tennis.
Any contact sport.
Count to 10 or 20 or 30.................
Work on paradigm shifts

"Think of a Paradigm Shift as a change from one way of thinking to another. It's a revolution, a transformation, a sort of metamorphosis. It just does not happen, but rather it is driven by agents of change."

Peace

I would advise sitting down and getting to the root of the issues. Its not the guy driving the car infront of you thats upsetting you, there's something in your life/a couple of things that are upsetting you and its more than likely causing you to be wound up all the time.

BoozyBabe

Are you happy with your boyfriend?
Are you happy with your life?
Are you feeling trapped at all?

I ask because I spent the last few years being constantly angry, or maybe not, but the slightest wee thing would set me off.
I was SO highly strung! I'd only be in the door from work, someone would say something pretty harmless & I'd go off on one, they used to almost hate me coming home.
I'd no time for my nieces & nephews, just wanted them to shut up & keep quiet etc...........................................

I loved my bf V much, but I felt trapped as in the future we wanted slightly different things & there'd never really be a compromise.
I knew what I needed to do, but couldn't face doing it, which made me even angry with myself.
I was SO stressed, & trapped, & tense, I felt life was passing me by etc.

I made the move that I needed to & all that built up anger is gone!
Everyone comments on it. I'm back to the happy go lucky person I was a few years ago.
I'm now where I want to be & with whom I want to be & all my anxiety & tension is gone.

My point is:- I suggest you take a long hard look at your life & make sure your anger isn't just a release valve for something bigger lurking below.

If not, then maybe it's just relaxation etc, you need.
(But you did also mention that your bf is driving you nuts. Why??)

Best of Luck

mickymg2003

Are you unhappy with life in general because people get like that when their unhappy. Best advice is see a counciller.

Gone West

get a punchbag.
Kick the crap out of it a lot.
*shrug*

or put your anger-energy into something more productive.
>_>
<_<

AngryBadger

I used to find physical exercise was very good for taking the edge of my anger. As has been pointed out this kind of aggro usually indicates a problem of some kind, something you're not happy about, some issue you have never dealt with. It fermented in the back of your head, and now it's demanding to be let out.

I'd say vent it, take up something physical, weights, jogging, anything, and when you're mad, (where possible), just cut loose.

Also, as BoozyBabe intimated, ask yourself if there's soething you're unhappy with. No matter insignificant it may seem, if there's anything at all that's bugging you look into it, indulge yourself in talking it out, either with yourself or someone else, it may give you a handle on where the anger is coming from.

LegacyUser

Hey,
From reading the other posts, people seem to think there's some underlying cause for your anger. This may well be the case but I was in a very similar situation before... anything would set me off and there would be no real reason for it apart from the fact that I got into the habit of getting pissed off over time.

If this is the case for you, I learned to calm down by just knowing I get pissed off at nothing. start off by taking one day trying to be happy and work from there. You just need to break the habit and after you look back at your angry period, you'll feel like you've come out of a dream

d-redser

I have previously gone to see a counsellor but all they did was listen. In all the sessions she only asked two questions
1 how are you,
2 how do you feel about that,
To be honest maybe all counsellors are not like this but to be honest she wasnt helping in any way.

I am looking into the yoga, the only problem is it's a bit pricey.

And BoozyBabe, you have described exactly how I feel everyday.

This may sound silly, but I dont know what exactly is wrong, I have asked myself so many times and given myself space from everyone to figure it out and nothing!

I was like this before I met my boyf but it is gettin worse. Its like a vicious circle, I acknowledge it, it makes me more angry.

I would definitely try a different counsellor but just have to find one who will actually talk back to me!

Zombrex

d-redser wrote:

I would definitely try a different counsellor but just have to find one who will actually talk back to me!

Well the point of a counsellor is to help you face and work through your problems, not tell you what your problems and how to fix them.

But if your counsellor really is just saying in a Dr. Phil way "and how did that make you feel" that isn't going to be that helpful after a while. A bit more feedback is needed.

I'm not sure but I think your health board can recommend counsellors. You could have just got one that isn't that good.

jdivision

I know this is a bit leftfield but do you drinks lots of coffee, Coke, Diet Coke etc or sugary foods. I found that giving that up made me far less angry with the world. The dip in blood sugars meant that sometimes I'd just lose it.

metrovelvet

I was going to ask the same thing jdivision!

As well as these?

Could there possibly be a thyroid disorder?

Or your body is on toxic overload?

SxE Punk

Listen to aggressive music. And sing along like you mean it.

The type of anger you describe sounds alot like the pent up frustration at life that I feel most of the time, when it gets on top of me too much, I go to my room, put on a loud, fast song with angry vocals and just start singing til I calm down. It very theraputic, works very well for me.

I can recommend a few good bands if you want.

dudara

Tough physical exertation, loud angry music can be great ways to vent some steam, rather than taking it out on some poor unfortunate.

But you need to look at your lifestyle and life to see if there is an underlying cause. It might be something really small, but it's building up the whole time. I have days that I go through where every small little slight makes me cross and angry. For instance my DVD burner stopped working yesterday. I damn near opened the skylight and fúcked it out. Instead I calmed down and trained until exhaustion later on in the evening.

SxE Punk

As cliche, and as much like macho bull**** as its gonna sound, a punching bag, or anything you can punch for extended periods without hurting yourself(OR OTHERS!!!), is a great way to blow off some steam too.

The Sweeper

You've moved in with the boyfriend - have you changed your contraception recently? If you're unusually aggressive, it could be your testosterone levels. If it's anything like this, your doctor can establish your hormone levels with a blood test and change your contraceptive method accordingly.

Otherwise, have you tried anger management classes? Some people react differently to things - some people are angrier than others. You can spank your inner moppet all you want but you'll still be prone to throwing dishes at the drop of a hat.

Try exercise to improve your mood (it doesn't cost a penny to run around the block once a day). Take some time out from the boyfriend. Take some time to yourself and see if the frustration fades at all...

WhiteWashMan

d-redser wrote:

I have previously gone to see a counsellor but all they did was listen. In all the sessions she only asked two questions
1 how are you,
2 how do you feel about that,
To be honest maybe all counsellors are not like this but to be honest she wasnt helping in any way.!

ok, first off, a councillor is there to get you to talk about your problems. they do not advise.
youre thinking of a psychologist.

theres a big difference.

councelling will only work on people who want it to work. im not saying you dont want it to work, you just may not believe that it will benefit you. its a self fulfilling prophacy. mush like quiting smoking.
only people who will ever quit are those who actually want to.

d-redser wrote:

II am looking into the yoga, the only problem is it's a bit pricey. !

buy a dvd of yoga. theres hundreds of them.enjoy

d-redser wrote:

This may sound silly, but I dont know what exactly is wrong, I have asked myself so many times and given myself space from everyone to figure it out and nothing!

I was like this before I met my boyf but it is gettin worse. Its like a vicious circle, I acknowledge it, it makes me more angry. !

you dont saound angry to me, you sound lost.
lost means frustration, and you just get angry becuase everything frustrates you.
perhpas all you need is a small change in your life, maybe you need to change everything.
get a hair cut, dye your hair, get new clothes, do something different, go for a run. the exercise thing works by the way, the yoga will do you good.

perhpas you should sit down and think of everything that annoy you you and write it down.
perhpas its just you feel you have nothing to look forward to. no long term plans to aim for, and you just feel as if there is no light at the end of your tunnel.

d-redser wrote:

II would definitely try a different counsellor but just have to find one who will actually talk back to me!

again, wont happen. you can ask their opinion and if they give it, you may get the same answer as any number of people here. you want a clinical psych workout, go to a shrink. it may be that you really do need guidance trying to see the wood from the trees, just never give up trying to be happy.

WhiteWashMan

jdivision wrote:

I know this is a bit leftfield but do you drinks lots of coffee, Coke, Diet Coke etc or sugary foods. I found that giving that up made me far less angry with the world. The dip in blood sugars meant that sometimes I'd just lose it.

just read that, and absolutely agree.
level of patience will drop.

drink plenty of water, and keep hydrated. even a 5% drop in your water levels will decrease your concentration by 30%, and many people, myself definately included get very frustrated very easily when this happens. i drink about 4 500ml bottles of water in work every day.

Faith

WhiteWashMan wrote:

perhpas all you need is a small change in your life, maybe you need to change everything.
get a hair cut, dye your hair, get new clothes, do something different

I agree with this. There are times when I feel really frustrated with everything and everyone and I find making a little difference to myself helps. I get a piercing (so far I've confined myself to my ears though) or dye my hair. Just do a little something, even buying new clothes. It can help you feel rejuvenated.

Tiriel

I remember I felt a bit like that and it was down to the contraceptive pill that I was on.. I was so irritable and just plain annoyed a lot of the time. I changed.. and feel way way better now!! I knew it wasn't normal for me to feel like that!!

Victor

Imagine you anger is like a glass of water. The water represents your anger. The glass is partially full. Some things add to the water - inconsiderate road users, your boss, the person in front of you at the cashier paying in coppers....

Some things take away from the anger - exercise, eating reasonably healthy, relaxation (going to cinema, yoga, massage, walk in the country, painting, whatever floats your boat).

Sometimes the glass gets very full and is difficult to balance. Sometimes, the glass fills up very quickly, but because it doesn't go near the rim, we can handle it. Then its possible that something really small in the scale of things happens, and the glass overfills and water spills out.

Then sometimes the glass gets knocked over and water goes everywhere.

---

Make sure you get one evening and one day per week to yourself, away from work and the other half.

lyrama

Getting more sleep and rest helps a hella lot! Exercising will help burn out the friction that's within you a bit and I find singing to a song that means a lot to you, something you identify with that has sentimental value to you and that you can really get stuck into helps just get everything off your chest. Hope you feel better soon:) ! xa

d-redser

Thanks for all your replies, i didnt think there would be that many!!

I dont drink tea/coffee at all , I drink water all day long and I havent changed contraception recently either. As I said this has been going on for around 2yrs and getting worse recently, probably because

1. I am in a dead end job. (I am currently looking and have interviews coming up soon).
2. I am overweight. (which I am joining classes, and defo buying a yoga dvd, I do need to chill out and relax big time)
3. I am joining a fit-box class. (I think that will release the excess frustration).
4. I am not sleeping at night either, on a good nite will get around 5/6 hrs in total. So with all this exercise it will help, hopefully.

when I look at that it does make sense as to why I feel like a loose cannon!

I think WhiteWashMan hit the nail on the head with saying I feel lost, I do! And hopefully when I start doing all the above it will help me to think straight and get my life back on track!

Thanks again for all your advice, its much appreciated!

WhiteWashMan

little goals make life easier.

you need stuff to look forward to.

aim to lose a few lbs over the next few weeks (instead of saying 'god, i must 15 stone by whenever')
aim to do at least 2 sessions of excercise a week.
aim to take a holiday in the next year, and plan it.
aim to save an extra 50 quid a month to pay for the holiday.

aim to do things you can control, rather than wish your life away with the things you cant control.

metrovelvet

damn WWM - you are the mighty wiseman!

Pigman II

d-redser wrote:

Hi,

Over the past few months I have become very angry, even with the slightest little hitch. I could be driving and a thick in front of me makes a mistake, that would set me off for the whole day, I am constanty angry and I dont know what to do about it. Just moved in with the boyf and he is driving me crazy which makes me more angry!

Get a punching bag or channel it into hard work. All I know is taking it out on other people is unfair and will lead to you being kicked to the kerb.