You wouldn't respect me in the morning

biko

Long and old but still funneh:

A man and a women get married, and on their wedding night, the man says to his wife, "Darling, I want you to give me a blow job."

"Absolutely not," says the woman, "If I did that, you wouldn't respect me in the morning."

"What do you mean?" says the man. "We went out with each other for ten years before we even got married. Of course I'll respect you."

"I won't do it," she insists. "You won't respect me in the morning."

Ten years later, on their tenth wedding anniversary, the wife asks her husband, "What do you want for your anniversary this year?"

"You know," says the man, "we've been married ten years. I love you a lot, and really, all I want is for you to go down on me."

"I won't do that," says the woman. "You won't respect me in the morning."

"I won't respect you in the morning? After ten years of loyal matrimony?" says the man. "Don't be silly. Of course I'll respect you in the morning."

"I won't do it," she says.

On their fiftieth wedding anniversary their children throw a big party for them. After the big bash, when they get home, the wife says to her husband, "What do you want for your golden wedding anniversary?"

"I really just want one thing. I want you to give me a blow job," he says.

"I can't," she says once again. "You won't respect me in the morning."

"What do you mean?" says the man. "We're seventy years old and we've been married for fifty years! Of course I'll respect you in the morning."

She thinks for a moment, then says, "Well...it has been fifty years..."

"That's right!" he says. "We've been together fifty years! I respect you more than anyone on earth!"

Well..." she says, "it is our fiftieth anniversary."

"That's right!" he says, "and I've never even looked at anyone else, and I'll respect you even more in the morning."

"You never did ask for much," she says.

"That's all I ever wanted," he says.

"Promise you'll respect me in the morning?" she asks.

"I promise!" he says.

So she finally decides that she will indeed give him a blow job. Just as she begins to do it, the telephone rings. The man leans over and answers it. "Yes?" he says into the phone. "Yes, just a minute." He holds the receiver out to his wife and says, "It's for you, c*cksucker."

GLaDOS

dunno why I'm laughing but I am!

popinfresh

meh, not great to be honest.