Well, this is new!

LegacyUser

This isn't really a personal issue per se, but I just needed to get this out!

I've made a couple of posts on here before, I regularly battle light-to-moderate depression and have found it pretty difficult to keep going sometimes.

But not today. Not now!

Right now, I am the happiest I've been in... I can't remember.

The first girl I ever had feelings for is in town. I hadn't seen her in about 3 years. We went out a few times back then but nothing ever came of it; she had an on/off boyfriend at the time and wanted to give that another go.

I wasn't really sure what to expect tonight when I met up with her and a few of her friends.

We got on great. She's sweeter and more beautiful than I remember. We arranged to meet up again tomorrow, and she texted me after I got home, thanking me for coming out.

We live a long distance away from each other so it's unlikely it will lead anywhere, and who knows tomorrow might go terribly, but it doesn't matter. I'd just forgotten what it felt like to be genuinely and completely happy, if only for a moment, and it's fantastic. The shít days will no doubt come back with a vengeance, but at least I can remember now what it's like at the other end of the spectrum.

Optimism, feels so nice...

The_B_Man

good stuff! us men are so simple. a good lookin woman bein friendly can cure all our subconscious and psychological problems in 2 hours! hehe.

happy for ya man. wat u need to do now is remember ur current mood and use it as a reference to go back to when ur feelin down.

haha actually, we'll prob see u on PI in a few days sayin the girl u love duznt like u back. tho at least u'll be depressed about sumtin else and u'll be gettin on in ur life, which is only a good thing.

Nickibaby*

Happy for you OP. Keep up those positive thoughts

Heyes

heya, thats great to hear... enjoy and dont be thinking the negative about tomorrow, see what happens... if you enjoy it so much dont let the distance between you stop something happen.

AngryBadger

Shine on you crazy diamond! Always goo to hear people're having a good day. Let us know how things go with herselt

Ruu_Old

Keep us updated and stay smiling, let everyone see how happy you are. take care now

LegacyUser

Arf.

Heard nothing from her the next day, I texted her in the evening asking her what she was up to and she replies back saying she was heading back to her friend's house, not able to manage another night drinking.

Which is complete arse. I curtly told her to enjoy the rest of her holiday. Felt like complete crap for the rest of the day and today, though after some retail therapy and a feel-good DVD, I'm alright now.

Off to the pub.

[Jackass]

Hey,no big deal..plus, she could of genuinely had a fu*k of a hangover!

give her one last txt before she goes back again..."hey, how are things? Feeling better from the other night? It was cool hanging out again, havn't seen you in ages!! Do you fancy going for a drink and catching up before you head off again?"

Or something like that...Fu*k it! What have you got to lose? If things like that make you happy, you gotta take risks to get 'em

LegacyUser

Nah, she had about a glass and a half of wine over a 2 hour long dinner. She was in the pub beforehand, but she wasn't at all drunk.

As far as I'm concerned, if she was genuinely interested, she'd make some kind of effort. This isn't the first time she's done this sort of thing, and I've decided I've had enough of being strung along.

She flew back tonight anyway. Onwards and upwards, stay positive I guess! Booked a shedload of holidays today, I need away.

elivsvonchiaing

InsertNomIci wrote:

Off to the pub.

Hmmm maybe that's one of her issues - you gotta work on this find out what makes her tick...

LegacyUser

Spent the last 45 mins walking home (normally takes 30 mins but I was walking slowly), trying to think of a way that would allow me to slip away quietly without anyone being affected (my family) but there isn't one.

It's so damn hard sometimes, i'm so tired of constantly having to fight to stay afloat.

Tomorrow is another day I guess!

b3t4

Ini wrote:

Tomorrow is another day I guess!

Stop making it someone else's responsibility to make YOU happy. You have to learn to make and keep yourself happy. You have to become independent. It's only then will you find yourself truly happy. People come and go in one's life if you can't stand on your own two feet it'll just make it tougher on yourself.

Get yourself to a counsellor and sort out all YOUR feelings. Find out why you've become this way and how you can make small changes to YOUR life to make them better.

All the above should be done on your own.

A.

LegacyUser

b3t4 wrote:

Stop making it someone else's responsibility to make YOU happy. You have to learn to make and keep yourself happy. You have to become independent. It's only then will you find yourself truly happy. People come and go in one's life if you can't stand on your own two feet it'll just make it tougher on yourself.

Sorry, but that's complete crap. Yes, I'll just wave a magic wand and become happy. I feel grand today, trouble is I felt absolutely dreadful yesterday, great wednesday, grand tuesday, dreadful monday, dreadful sunday, great saturday, ok friday, great thursday, yada, yada, yada. It's not tied down to people.

I am independent. I moved abroad 2 years ago, leaving everyone I know behind. If I didn't learn to stand on my own two feet, I'd be living in a cardbox somewhere by now... or worse.

Get yourself to a counsellor and sort out all YOUR feelings. Find out why you've become this way and how you can make small changes to YOUR life to make them better.

All the above should be done on your own.

A.

Considering this. May wait until the summer, unless I start bouncing off walls.

The_Conductor

Take a break- get away from it all.
Go somewhere south- with more daylight, and get lots of freshair and outdoor activity during the daytime. I think being stuck indoors at this time of the year and never seeing daylight is unhelpful to anyone.

Counselling would probably be helpful- but something to think about is counselling is a way of teaching you to help yourself. A few positive steps in the right direction will possibly make it easier for you to to come to grips with things better.

Get clean away for a bit- take those holidays you booked and get the hell out of here for a while. Take things easy, relax, enjoy yourself. Stop thinking about literally everything.

Take care,

S.

is_that_so

You need to mentally bottle a bit of that good day to remind you how good feelings help lift you.

LegacyUser

Happiness is not something that anyone can control or hold consistently in their life. I'm not sure what exactly you are looking for, but it ain't happiness. You say you've had a couple of up days this week, well why not look at that as a good thing. Every person in the world has days that are fantastic, like the one that started this tread, and those that make them wanna shut out the world. Well every 'thinking' person anyway.

You need to figure out what you think that you are missing. And not necessarily find it, but realise why you think your life is incomplete without it. I spent about 5 years depressed and was religiously looking for someone or something to pull me out of it. I was always making excuses for myself; 'I'll be happy when I get a job', or 'As soon as I get that guy...' In order to settle things in your head, and just be comfortable with your days, you need to question why what you have is not enough.

I know it's not as easy as switching it off. Cause if it was, you'd do it. But stop making the excuses for your sadness, or the fail-safe ways that will get you out of it. If councelling works for you, that'd be great, but it's not the only way. I did it on my own. One day I just put my demons to rest. Nobody can change the past, no matter how horrible or trivial it was. You can only accept what you have now, and figure out how to use it in a way that will matter to you.

Hope this doesn't come off sounding patronising or something. Only want to help by using my own exp. Chin up