Suddenly Single

LegacyUser

The long and the short of it is on sat nite I went to bed ,with my GF of 8 years+, with all the plans to go forth and buy a house and do all the things were suppose to do and I woke up this morning and Im single , 8or9 years ,what the hell is one suppose to do now . I dont mind the fact that she left , or her reasons ....better now that in 5years and kids is what im tellin my self . But Im really not sure what im suppose to do. I really cant see my self running around in pubs and clubs again. damn This has to be the weirdest i have ever felt , have absolutly no idea what im to do next ...........ah such is life

Rant over ..and yes i know none of it makes sense

koneko

I know this is a cliche, but keep repeating it to yourself anyway, it's not the end of the world.

You'll pick up the pieces, you'll adjust and you'll be fine. Life moves on. Have some time to yourself and relax, take it easy, there is no need to rush into anything new. Go out with friends, take up a hobby, spend some time getting to know yourself.

AngryBadger

Sorry I can't offer anything more constructive than to give it time man. I can't imagine very many people experiencing what you're going through at this level, all you can do is hang tough.

anthony_086170

man i had a gf for 6.5 years and i felt the same,in bed etc and woke up and she was being distant i knew something was up and we both agreed to break up and i felt weird as was with her since i was 16 and broke up when i was 23 but to be honest i did dirt alot as i got bored,but felt weird but give it 2 or 3 weeks and u go out with mates realising u dont have to answer to anybody and do what u want and chat to any woman its brilliant

just forget her she must have issues to leave after 8 years and never give u an idication something was wrong,enjoy life and show her u couldnt give a toss thats its her loss and i bet she will want you back and then its up to you if you wanna be tied down

good luck with it

R-KEANE

I was recently dumped too. Could see it coming though as she was very distant for a few days. It wasnt a really long relationship like yours was but I was desperate not to be single for too long. Take my word for it, thats the wrong way to think. I found it a bit easier with the fact that we broke up on bad terms. This may sound rubbish but when you can focus on the bad things about them, you'll get over it quicker. When you stay friends, you'll have constant reminders of the good times that you're missing. Cut all ties.

BoozyBabe

Sorry to hear that visitor.

Can you honestly say the break up was sudden, you didn't see it coming & thought everything was rosey?

I.E. Had you differences of opinion on getting married, having children, travelling, careers etc, etc.
Were these ever discussed?
Did ye argue a lot?
Did either of ye ever cheat?
Did you ever get the feeling she was bored?
Was your sex life as good as it ever was?

I broke up with my bf of 5 years about 6 months ago. He probably thought (initially) that it was sudden also.
I was at his house feeling V down (because of what I was about to do), he was trying to cheer me up (which made it worse), & then I came out with it.
He was shocked. We cuddled for a while & I left. (still in contact a bit)

When he thinks it over though:- he'll realise the following:-
He never wanted children, I did
He didn't care for marriage, I did
He never wanted the responsibility of owning a house, I already did
He actually HATED children, I loved them
I'd lost interest in sex
I lived with him & then moved job & moved away from him over a year earlier
I broke up with him VVV short term a few months earlier over the above reasons.
I'd been down a lot for a few months prior to the break up.

So he now will realise it wasn't sudden at all.
It was never going to work & I realised that before we both wasted any more time on it.

Maybe if you also look hard, you'll also see some cracks & realise that she's done the right thing for both of you???

Prob in both our cases it'd just have been better if we'd realised it a few years earlier instead of wasting so much of each others time.

Chin up! Like you said, it's better now than a few years down the line.

I know my bf's in the same situation as yourself now:- doesn't know how & doesn't feel like getting back out there.
He was a lot older than me, so while I've got my single friends to party with his have all since gotten married & aren't so much into partying., so even if he did want to go out, there's no one to go out with.

I do feel really sorry for him in this regard, but I couldn't hold myself back just to save him from getting hurt.
I don't have any advice for you on that front, but just for you to know, there are others in the same situation as yourself.

Ickle Magoo

visitor wrote:

The long and the short of it is on sat nite I went to bed ,with my GF of 8 years+, with all the plans to go forth and buy a house and do all the things were suppose to do and I woke up this morning and Im single , 8or9 years ,what the hell is one suppose to do now . I dont mind the fact that she left , or her reasons ....better now that in 5years and kids is what im tellin my self . But Im really not sure what im suppose to do. I really cant see my self running around in pubs and clubs again. damn This has to be the weirdest i have ever felt , have absolutly no idea what im to do next ...........ah such is life

Rant over ..and yes i know none of it makes sense

It's horrible when it seems to come out of the blue but for me the best reason for breaking up is when one half doesn't want to be a couple any more....never mind any other reasons.....

I find the best thing to do is to find things about your new single status that you really like (more money? get to watch all you like on telly? no-one pinching your razor? etc, etc) and revel in them.....it will be tough at times but you will eventually move on, thank your lucky stars that it happened now & find someone you can be truly happy with.....best of luck

Zombrex

visitor wrote:

I really cant see my self running around in pubs and clubs again. damn

Thats a good thing (unless you want to pull a few 21 year olds to get your mind off the ex).

Do the dating thing for a while, ask out a friend of a friend, or join a few clubs, work socials etc. There are lots of ways (better ways) to meet women for proper relationships than stumbling around drunk girls in a dark night club