What's his story?

LegacyUser

Been with my bf less then a year.
Love each other V much.
Mid 20's
He give me lots of hugs, cuddles, little kisses, when we're out shopping etc he puts is arm around me while we walk, he looks straight into my eyes & gives me that little look that only lovers can (or is it only me that thinks such a thing exists)
Anyway, from the above all sounds perfect, we get on SO well, make each other laugh, love spending time with each other....................................

We rarely get the chance to have sex, so when we do it's brilliant & we both have a REALLY good time. He never gives me any reason to think that he doesn't want to have sex, or he doesn't enjoy it with me or anything, it's actually him who initiates it (of course he always knows I'm up for it)

Again, nothing drastic sounding there, all seems pretty normal, just maybe not enough of it due to circumstances.

Now, imagine my excitement when I find out his parents are away on Sat night, so we'll have the house to ourselves.
We go out for a few drinks & then back to his:- excellent (I thought!)

He doesn't sit in a seat where we can get steamy, but he does sit sort of beside me & strokes me hair, arm. I move to be closer to him (it's hard to describe) but he's leaning back from me so I can't kiss him. Then he gets up & we hug a lot & little pecks on the lips. I know he's thinking lots, but he says nothing. As we're in his house I don't want to force him into anything but hoping he'll take me upstairs, but instead he says goodnight (he's bolloxed)

I said goodnight, went to the visitors room all on my own, in a house where there's only the 2 of us & cried. I felt SO rejected.

(I don't think this should add to the equation in any way, but he'd just spent 12 hours working with a sledge hammer earlier that day with not much sleep the night before)

(He was up out of bed at 8.15 the next morning)

(We had sex at my house once before when my parents weren't there, so he almost had a favour to return, if you know what I mean)

(I'm not ugly, & I'm not over-weight, get chatted up all the time when out with girls)

What other reason other than he doesn't actually fancy me could a guy in his mid 20's in a relatively new relationship have for NOT sleeping with his girlfriend when they have a free house?

Why would he be planning his future with me (which he is) if he doesn't find me attractive?

Sorry it's long, but please read the first (good) bit carefully before you just spit out that he doesn't fancy me. Can there be any other reason?

It's not just Sat night, he seems to be a bit hesitant at making opportunities for sex in general (like I said, when it's inevitable that's it's going to happen, there isn't a problem, but when it's a case that we may or may not have sex, we generally do not have sex)

We got up the next day & went away together & spent most of the day together having a really lovely time, cuddles etc again.

Why?

(I love him to bits & I'm not going to end it just yet over this issue, but I'm afraid that he doesn't fancy me, & if he doesn't I don't want him to date / marry me when he could be so much better off with someone else)

So confused.

AngryBadger

dam double posting

AngryBadger

If he spent 12 hours working with a sledge hammer he was probably just wrecked.

Are you saying that he doesn't seem attracted to you sexually in general? Or was it just this one time? If you're both in your mid twenties, he's probably fairly mature about the relationship, which means he doesn't need to have sex with you at every opportunity just to re-inforce anything, he's prefectly content with you, and the relationship, he doesn't feel any need to use sex as a sort of relationship-glue. He was just tired Saturday.

No biggie.

koneko

Why don't you ask him? None of us live inside his brain, we can't possibly know what he's thinking. Don't let your entire relationship balance on what happened one single night. He could have been tired, he could have been trying to be a gentleman, could have been anything.

I'm not sure what kind of answer you're looking for here, but you really should be talking to *him* about this, not a bunch of random strangers on the internet who will all give you different advice.

kellxor.1337

PPl get tired, It's not that he doesnt find you attractive, But sometimes we just dont want sex"hard to believe i know" The 1st few months in a relationship is always sex ridden, I'm sure if you just ask him he'll tell you, I know the 1st few months in a relationship i just wanna have sex whenever we can, I had my own place and all, Then we just started spending time on the couch cuddling, and kissing a lot, The sex was great dont get me wrong, but sometimes all you want is a cuddle, Just sleepin in the same bed is more of a comfort than sex, Waking up next to the person you love is so much better if you didnt have sex the night before,


Kellxor

LegacyUser

Rejected wrote:

It's not just Sat night, he seems to be a bit hesitant at making opportunities for sex in general (like I said, when it's inevitable that's it's going to happen, there isn't a problem, but when it's a case that we may or may not have sex, we generally do not have sex)

Like I said, it's more than just the one night.

Ok, so we've never had the opportunity of his house being free before, but even like a quickie in a car has never been suggested, when we go away together it's always me who has arranged it, he never suggests it.

If a girl asks her bf 'Do you fancy me', 'Do you find me attractive' 'Do you think I'm sexy' etc, he's not about to say 'No' is he, even if that was the truth!

He does love me, so he would never hurt my feelings by saying something like that.
That's why I've asked your opinions from what you've read in the thread.

In fact, even before I knew he was going to be working on Sat & the house was free, I knew we wouldn't have sex, I just knew we wouldn't (but was hoping for a nice surprise)

I'm now going to try & not mention sex or going away AT ALL any more to see if he ever mentions it, or says we should go away this weekend.

I don't think it'll ever happen, & that's what I'm really afraid of.

justsomebloke

maybe he just isn't a very sexual person, and is maybe just a bit to relaxed in your realtionship already (why he is planning a future with you). Not all men want sex when ever they can get a chance and as the angrybadger has already said the bloke was doing manual labour for 12 hours maybe he was just tired.
The thing i would be worried about is not the sex but the fact that he didn't take the oppurinity to sleep in the same bed as you and let you sleep in the guest bed, but maybe as he was so tired that he wouldn't have been able to sleep in a bed that someone else was in.
however as you are planning a future together it is only going to work if yous can communicate with each other, so take now as your oppurnity to see if you can communicate. and ask him rather then us what is going on

LegacyUser

kellxor.1337 wrote:

PPl get tired, It's not that he doesnt find you attractive, But sometimes we just dont want sex"hard to believe i know" The 1st few months in a relationship is always sex ridden, I'm sure if you just ask him he'll tell you, I know the 1st few months in a relationship i just wanna have sex whenever we can, I had my own place and all, Then we just started spending time on the couch cuddling, and kissing a lot, The sex was great dont get me wrong, but sometimes all you want is a cuddle, Just sleepin in the same bed is more of a comfort than sex, Waking up next to the person you love is so much better if you didnt have sex the night before,


Kellxor

Yes, but that's my point EXACTLY!!!
It is a new relationship & I can count on 1 hand the number of times we've had sex, & every time it's because I have created the opportunity to do so.

If that's what it's like now, what will it be like when we just want to cuddle & lie beside each other.

We're at the stage in our relationship when we're supposed to be humping like rabbits, yet we're not at all.

I've been in long term relationships, & I know exactly how they work & the initial exciting period & then it dies down into comfort, but I'm so afraid this is going to die down into nothing.

(My ex suffered from depression & went through a phase of not wanting sex often. I got V used to this & didn't mind, then his sex drive got a boost & he wanted it more often again, but I still didn't. My sex drive never recovered again in that relationship, I'd easily go 6 weeks without wanting it & then would only bother for his sake)

I'm so afraid that I'm going to get used to this too, & then not want any from my bf either.

I really think I've found my man, but I'm so afraid that this is going to ruin it before it gets a chance to get going.

Ickle Magoo

Maybe he was wrecked after working such a long day? It's a myth that lads are up for it anywhere & everywhere regardless of mood or natural inclanation.....if he thought you were up for it then rather than cause a fight he may have been trying to tell you, in no uncertain manner, that he wasn't interested that night.....

Would you have been in a single bed? Not much sleep to be had there....or would you expect him to have sex with you in his parents bed? Maybe that's not a turn on for him?

Reationships are about so much more than sex & you seem to hang a lot of importance on the physical side of your relationship.....try talking to the lad about any concerns you have, he's the best one to put your mind at ease.....and try asking/discussing plans for an evening so you don't build it up into something it's not? Best of luck

LegacyUser

Ickle Magoo wrote:

Maybe he was wrecked after working such a long day? It's a myth that lads are up for it anywhere & everywhere regardless of mood or natural inclanation.....if he thought you were up for it then rather than cause a fight he may have been trying to tell you, in no uncertain manner, that he wasn't interested that night.....

Would you have been in a single bed? Not much sleep to be had there....or would you expect him to have sex with you in his parents bed? Maybe that's not a turn on for him?

Reationships are about so much more than sex & you seem to hang a lot of importance on the physical side of your relationship.....try talking to the lad about any concerns you have, he's the best one to put your mind at ease.....and try asking/discussing plans for an evening so you don't build it up into something it's not? Best of luck

Thanks Ickle.
Again though I do know he was V V tired, I understand that, but when we went home we chatted for about 1/2 an hour, a 5 min quickie would've taken a lot less time!!!!
But like I said, it's more than just Sat night, but it was Sat night that annoyed me because it was such a perfect opportunity with no hassle involved.

Also, yes, it would've been a single bed, but I would've left that bed after the dirty deed to let both of us get some sleep & absolutely NO WAY would I have done anything in the parents bed, I won't even go into their room as I feel I'm intruding never mind anything else.

& I do know that sex isn't the biggest part of a relationship, but you have to admit it is the bit of a relationship that has most power of eating all the other good bits away when it's not right.
We have too much going for us to stop over this issue & I didn't make it into an issue with him because of this.
I love everything about him SO much & that's more important to me than the odd romp, but at our age, you do expect your bf to be up for it & to suggest it the odd time.

I mean, another little thing:- When I go to his house to visit he has a sofa & armchair in his bedroom. He won't even sit in the same seat as me, so I can't even be close to him while watching TV, never mind anything else.

It's just SO frustrating to be SO attracted to someone to get nothing more than the V odd passionate kiss, the even odder shag, & more often the nice little peck on the lips.

AngryBadger

Rejected wrote:

I really think I've found my man, but I'm so afraid that this is going to ruin it before it gets a chance to get going.

Well then you need to discuss this with him, not with us.

Ickle Magoo

Rejected wrote:

Thanks Ickle.
Again though I do know he was V V tired, I understand that, but when we went home we chatted for about 1/2 an hour, a 5 min quickie would've taken a lot less time!!!!
But like I said, it's more than just Sat night, but it was Sat night that annoyed me because it was such a perfect opportunity with no hassle involved.

Also, yes, it would've been a single bed, but I would've left that bed after the dirty deed to let both of us get some sleep & absolutely NO WAY would I have done anything in the parents bed, I won't even go into their room as I feel I'm intruding never mind anything else.

& I do know that sex isn't the biggest part of a relationship, but you have to admit it is the bit of a relationship that has most power of eating all the other good bits away when it's not right.
We have too much going for us to stop over this issue & I didn't make it into an issue with him because of this.
I love everything about him SO much & that's more important to me than the odd romp, but at our age, you do expect your bf to be up for it & to suggest it the odd time.

I mean, another little thing:- When I go to his house to visit he has a sofa & armchair in his bedroom. He won't even sit in the same seat as me, so I can't even be close to him while watching TV, never mind anything else.

It's just SO frustrating to be SO attracted to someone to get nothing more than the V odd passionate kiss, the even odder shag, & more often the nice little peck on the lips.

Maybe he didn't want a five minute quickie? Maybe he just wanted a chat? Maybe if you'd told him it was just a 5min quickie & then you'd be off into the spare room he would have jumped at it? Maybe he didn't want to suggest a quickie & then then slung you out his bed as he thought you might think he was using you? Maybe he's put off that you try to jump his bones every time you have a chance? He's entitled not to want to touch you or have sex with you at every given opportunity.....if you think he is avoiding touching you then you need to talk to him about it.....I could spout assumptions & guesses as to why he is doing it until the cows come home but only he is going to be able to tell you the real reason......

TBH if you love each other & are planning a future together, then you really have to learn to discuss such issues.....I know you say you don't want to make an issue out of it but it obviously is already an issue for you - it would be silly to ignore that & put your relationship at risk for the sake of a few frank words.....nothing will eat away at a relationship faster than lack of communication.....best of luck

galah

just a wild guess (but a simple answer...) - maybe he's just not comfortable having sex in his parent's house? People freak out for the strangest reasons - i know, up to this day, whenever I visit my parents and bring my boyfriend, it feels really, really weird to have sex in their house, even if they're not home...

Otherwise- maybe just ask him what was wrong with him...?

LegacyUser

Thanks, you're right.

But I don't try to jump his bones at every opportunity at all, nothing like that.
He knows that I'm up for it, that I'd never reject his advances if he tried, I hug him, kiss him, run my fingers through his hair, stroke his arm, face etc (not all at the one time btw!!!)
But I'd never jump him, in case he wasn't comfortable with the situation. I do think he has a few hang ups in that area so I'd never put him in the position of feeling pressured into anything. Honest.
When we go away for the night, of course I don't mind making the 1st move (& we share this about 50/50)
But outside of that scenario I always let it playout as he wants.

I just wish now & again he'd want to get physical with me.

But yes, I need to discuss it with him, I certainly don't want it to ruin what we've got.
I did discuss it with him before once, something about the lack of sex, or about the lack of opportunities for sex. All he said was 'we'll sort something out, don't worry', but he's never made an attempt to do anything about it:- ever!!
Doesn't that seem just a little strange?

Anyway, like I said:- I think I'm not going to organise any nights away for a long long time, see if he eventually takes the initiative (in the mean time, not holding anything against him, I'm not like that) & if 6 months pass & I've gotten absolutely nothing from him or even a whisper about the fact that it's been 6 months & nothing then I'll have a serious chat to him about it (or even 3 months)
(Well, there's no actual time frame, just long enough for me to know that in a normal situation he'd have mentinoed something)

Thanks for all your help.

LegacyUser

Just another thing:-

Now, before you start having a go:- I'm not a person who needs compliments, I know how I look when I go out & I like it, I don't need someone else to tell me I look good, but it is flattering when you hear it.

Anyway, would you also find it strange if not once ever did your BF tell you you looked nice?

Like not even in a joking way (which would be more his style, like 'you don't look as bad as you normally do')

I know some fella's are just terrible at that, but never???

So, from the replies so far, & from the description I've given you, do most of ye think it's unlikely that he's not attracted to me?

jesus_thats_gre

Rejected wrote:

Thanks Ickle.
Again though I do know he was V V tired, I understand that, but when we went home we chatted for about 1/2 an hour, a 5 min quickie would've taken a lot less time!!!!

Purely going on what you have posted on this thread.. If he gave you the 5 minute quickie that you say would have done, you would probably make up some sort of drama in your head about how he just wants you for sex and wants to satify his own needs and not yours..

Time to grow up and get some perspective.. This will probably be a shock to you but you are being very selfish.

Ickle Magoo

Some men - especially here in good auld repressed Ireland - are not tactile at all and their complimenting skills are practically non existant.....then again, maybe he is going off you.....I don't mean to sound mean - just trying to highlight how off the ball our replies/advice might be & why you need to be asking your fella these questions.....

Maybe watch his parents together....are they huggy, kissy, make sexy joke types? Guys learn how to treat/speak to women from watching their fathers and if they have never witnessed a tactile, sexy relationship then they can often be at a complete loss as to how to act or even be uncomfortable when their partner is exhibiting such behaviour.....it may also explain why he finds it so difficult to innitiate sex.....again, this is just suppostion - you really need to talk to him ASAP.....

My husband showed some of the behaviours you described when we first met but I just asked him straight out why he acted/said/didn't do whatever & that was that sorted out!

kellxor.1337

Rejected wrote:

Just another thing:-

Now, before you start having a go:- I'm not a person who needs compliments, I know how I look when I go out & I like it, I don't need someone else to tell me I look good, but it is flattering when you hear it.

Anyway, would you also find it strange if not once ever did your BF tell you you looked nice?

Like not even in a joking way (which would be more his style, like 'you don't look as bad as you normally do')

I know some fella's are just terrible at that, but never???

So, from the replies so far, & from the description I've given you, do most of ye think it's unlikely that he's not attracted to me?

Well i myself compliment a lot, It's just sumtin i do, I know that women feel alot better when they get complimented even if they already know they look good, But again, Most Irish lads cant tell when's a good time to compliment and then they get lazy and 4getful,
i'm sure he knows you look good and he doesnt wanna state the obvious by sayin you look good, He might think thats all you want to hear,

As for ickle, He's hit the nail on the head, Your gettin opinions from us here at boards when we all have our own views/thoughts/ideas on our life, your best bet is to just sit down with your fella and Ask him the questions you need answering, Tell him that you love him and whatever and ask him what does he want, No point in beating around the bush and wasting his and Your time,
If you've got a high sex drive and your b-friend cant satisfy ur needs, and he's not attracted to you, You need to go elsewhere, Ur sayin u know ur not fat and such, So i'll take your word for it and assume your an attractive woman, Now i'm not sayin go out and fu*k for the sake of it, But again, Most women in the same position dont wait around,




Kellxor

ST*

OP, the best thing you can do is ask. If you too are so close, assumably you can talk to each other about anything, why not this?

Another poster said something about feeling uncomforable about having sex in his parents house, have you ever done before?

Is it a case where you misread signs? did he actually tell you not to follow him up? he may have thought you wanted to stay up and watch tv for a while or anything?

We can't say for certain exactly what was going through his mind, but as I've said above - where is the harm in asking nicely if there was something wrong that night?

py2006

Jaysus, its amazing how different people react when the roles are reversed! Its usually the bloke looking for the sex and the girl is too tired!

I think the OP has issues with self esteem! I can understand you were dissapointed not to get sex if you were expecting it. But give the guy a break, he was clearly wrecked tired and wasn't in the mood!

Why do have to take that as him thinking your not attractive??? If he thought that he probably wouldn't be with you at all!

Everything seems to be great in your relationship according to yourself! Don't be fretting over this!

I can guarantee you there will be plenty of times he will be wanting to do the horizontal boogie with you but you wont be in the mood!

LegacyUser

Everyone, like I said, I'll give it a while & if no change I'll have the chat (which I've also told you I've already sort of had)

& again:- Why can't you read tihs line in practically ALL my replies:-

IT'S AN ON-GOING THING, NOT just Sat night.

I agree that he was prob just bolloxed that particular night, but it's more than that.
It's his attitude towards it ALL the time.

No, we've never had sex before at his parents house, which is why I didn't push for anything.

Yes, he definitely DID NOT want me to follow him up the stairs.


If ye hadn't had sex with your gf for 3 weeks, & knew there was no chance of having sex with her for at least 4 weeks after that & you had a perfectly good chance to have sex now, would you not go for it?

PY2006:- Where does self esteem come into it? I have absolutely NO problems with my self esteem.
The only reason I asked the fancy me question is his lack of interest in getting physical (ON MORE OCCASIONS THAN JUST SAT NIGHT)

I don't have a high sex drive, actually prob a lower than normal sex drive, but this guy doesn't seem to have one full stop.

Like I said:- We're going out less than 1 year, in our mid 20's & we've had sex 4 times, & none of ye seem to think that's a bit strange & I'm just overreacting?

Jesus the Gre- how do know I don't like 5 min quickies? I have no growing up to do & I'm not being in any way selfish. If I was I'd have huffed with him there & then & made a big deal out of it, which I didn't do, so read my posts correctly & don't make stupid assumptions or don't bother replying at all.

To everyone else, thanks for your opinions.

Ickle Magoo

Just out of interest, why are you so loath to discuss this with him? Why wait?

metrovelvet

I'm sure I'll get flamed for this but ... maybe he's gay. Thats what I would think.

LegacyUser

Ickle Magoo wrote:

Just out of interest, why are you so loath to discuss this with him? Why wait?

Sort of just incase his lack of interest seems normal to him i suppose.

If I go on just enjoying our relationship (which is fantastic besides this issue) for say 3 months & he still has never mentioned that we should go somewhere for the night to have some time for ourselves, or that he wishes we could get some time to ourselves, then calmly some day I can say to him, do you know how long it's been, & you've never mentioned wanting any, why?
Blaa Blaa Blaa........

I'm just afraid he'll make excuses at the minute, because I have arranged nights away for us in the past. So he might say 'sure we did 6 weeks ago' or whatever, 'what's wrong with that', to which I don't really have a big argument, because, yes we did, but the point is, we wouldn't have if I hadn't have arranged it.

I want to see how long it'll take for him to say, 'God I'd love to spend the night with my girlfriend, I must ask her when would suit for us to go away fro the night', & if it hasn't happened in say 3 months, I can ask him why not?

That's the only reason I want to wait a bit.

I don't think how I'm feeling is unreasonable. If we were 16 maybe, but SO many of our school mates are married with familes, engaged etc at this stage & yet my bf almost seems like its bad for 2 people who love each other to do this, or he doesn't fancy me.

LegacyUser

metrovelvet wrote:

I'm sure I'll get flamed for this but ... maybe he's gay. Thats what I would think.

That's the type of response I thought I might get, or something like that.
Instead, I got I'm selfish, unreasonable etc, which I don't think is fair.

Problem for me is, he definitely isn't gay, so that doesn't even answer my question!!!

Sherlock

I don't agree with the posts having a go at the OP, its quite reasonable for her to be wondering why her bf isn't more interested in sex, especially in the early stages of a relationship. Not sure if I'd leave it go another 3 months though without bringing it up (no pun intended!).

LegacyUser

Sherlock wrote:

I don't agree with the posts having a go at the OP, its quite reasonable for her to be wondering why her bf isn't more interested in sex, especially in the early stages of a relationship. Not sure if I'd leave it go another 3 months though without bringing it up (no pun intended!).

Thanks Sherlock.
I do think I've been very patient.
It is wonderful when it does happen, he's really into it & seems to really enjoy it, it's just if I didn't create the opportunity it'd never happen.

I think also I want to see how long it'll take before he'd want it enough to do something about it.
If I say something about it now, he might arrange something in say a months time for us to go away.
Yes, I'd be V happy but then I'd wonder is he only doing it to keep me quiet, & not really doing it because it's what he wants.

I suppose I want to find out how much he desires me, how long he can go without me (& something tells me that's quite a long time ). I'd get a false reading if I let him know the lack of intimacy was getting to me

(That prob doesn't make sense to anyone with a non-twisted mind

vandermeyde

I don't see the point in waiting another three months tbh; best thing to do is to sit him down and talk things through....sex drives come in all different shapes and sizes; needs compromise on behalf of both parties to strike a balance...the only way to achieve that balance is to communicate....

if you leave it another while you might well end up having a sh*g in a month or two and then what happens? do you reset the counter to zero and postpone the "chat" again?....

Are you afraid that he might say "I don't fancy you"? better to know if thats the case so you can get on with your life imho...

Either way, good luck!

Ickle Magoo

OP,

I don't think you are being unreasonable at all....sex is a normal part of a normal, healthy relationship - I just meant it comes across to me that you may be scared to hear the real reasons & so are avoiding confronting the issue.....

You say you are together less than a yr - I don't know if that means 3months or 11months - but either way if you are not happy with a part of your relationship & despite dropping a hint (I wouldn't class what you said as discussing it with him) nothing has changed.....I don't see the point of hanging on for another 3months in the hope that something will magically change now.....

It has frustrated you to the point you are asking for help on a public forum....would that not indicate that there is a pretty serious problem & it needs to be dealt with in an adult manner - by sitting down your fella & telling him how you feel & asking for some honesty in return....? So what if you has sex 6wks ago?! If you want sex every night you have a right to want that & you have the right to ask why he doesn't.....best of luck

misswex

Yeah I agree with Ickle Magoo on this one. I wouldn't wait 3 more months to bring it up as its obviously a major issue for you.

You neeed to sit him down and talk it through with him, tell him exactly how you feel and see what his response is. You are both in your mid twenties so should be able to do this and work it out.

I hope it works out as it seems that apart from this issue that you do love each other and have a great relationship so before this becomes a major issue for you, you need to sit him down and discuss it.

justsomebloke

I will have to also magoo and misswex on this and i think that you need to talk to him now about this other then that in around 3 months you will put it off again and again until it just boils over and it comes out in a manner you can't control. There are 2 people in a relationship and both of yous have to give a little.

Do you happen to know what his sexual past is like, if he has had many sexual partners compared to girlfriends or would this be his first decent relationship that has gone this far.

I know i posted earlier on that soem men just aren't into sex etc..But from all your other replies i would be getting a bit worried about his true feeling but the only way you are going to find out is by talking to each other

Seraphina

Rejected wrote:

Like I said:- We're going out less than 1 year, in our mid 20's & we've had sex 4 times, & none of ye seem to think that's a bit strange & I'm just overreacting?

holy ****e! thats well strange, i'd want that per week or more if poss!
dont wait to talk to him. and dont go about it like you're asking for sex. just sit down and discuss it with him. dont wait around for him to suggest things, maybe he wont, and where will that leave ya? more paranoid than ever.
as others have said we could suggest all kinds of reasons, but you'll only get the actual reason by talking to him.

sportswear

he had a **** earlier that day and didn't fell he could preform up to his usual standards.

metrovelvet

I dont know OP.

Could it be some weird upbringing thing? like your a nice girl and he respects you so he cant?

Are you sure hes not gay?

MazStar

As the other posters say I think you should defo talk to him sooner that later. You'll just get more paranoid and your head will be melted the longer you leave it. This weekend was a good enough reason to bring it up- dont wait another 3 months. Fair enough he was tired but I dont see why you could'nt have just slept together for a kiss and cuddle or else some great morning sex! It definately is strange that you have only had sex 4 times considering how long you've been together. You need some answers so talk to him asap. Best of luck.

charlesanto

metrovelvet wrote:

Could it be some weird upbringing thing? like your a nice girl and he respects you so he cant?

He wants to make love not have sex - torrid quickies - shaggin in his ma's gaff etc.

Mexicola

Rejected? Good god woman - have you ever tried swinging a sledge for 12 hours?! Any man who can manage that and then get back on the job deserves an award!

Rejected wrote:

(We had sex at my house once before when my parents weren't there, so he almost had a favour to return, if you know what I mean)

There is an air of control-freakery here.... You should expect him to 'return' any favours just because ye had a free house before.

Basically you need to relax and be a bit more self-confident. It comes down to the simple fact that the guy was tired. It will work out - and if he's not the one for you, you are better off finding that out sooner than later.

After all...

Rejected wrote:

I'm not ugly, & I'm not over-weight, get chatted up all the time when out with girls

Good luck!

LegacyUser

Thanks for all your advice.