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what the f8ck??????

  • 10-03-2006 5:02pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Iam having a bit of a crap time of it recently, trying to overcome a personal issue that hasn't been resolved & combined with the fact that my love life is awful means i'm feelin low. some people woudl even say i have a perfect life but things are getting on top of me. I was recently rejected with no reason given by the first person i've met in a long time who i felt somethin' strongly for and my selfesteem is in tatters. so what does this stupid woman do? for a few years now there has been a huge and electric attraction between me and a married man. I very rarely see him, he is not in my social circle but works in a pub so i would have to go and seek him out, we have only ever kissed. i had sex with him last nite and now i feel terrible but i can't deny how good it was either. it was so thrilling and i know its so wrong. it was a very big deal for him, he has only been married about 18months. part of me is very tempted to see him again. i'm not sure what i'm asking here, i'm confused and feel like sh1t. is it so wrong to seek solace when feeling so low? i don't WANT to ever see him again but part of me does. i belive in carma and i'd hate what has happend to happen to me. thanks for reading


Comments

  • #2
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,045 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    It sounds like you are trying to distract yourslef from your issue by having a fling.
    We can get that destperate not to deal with an issue that we make some very bad judgement calls and end up in situations we know we should not be in.

    You would be best of dealing with just yourslef and going and getting help to deal with what ever the issue is and put sometime and work into yourself and valuing yourself and knowing and feeling that good things will happen to you and you are worthy of them.

    Leave that married guy be, sex and attraction can be as much as a prop a distraction a short term fix as drugs and drink and be used as soul destroying.
    You need to treath yourself better then that.


  • #3
    Beruthiel
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 42,362 Mod ✭✭✭✭Beruthiel


    emot1onal&sad wrote:
    i had sex with him last nite and now i feel terrible but i can't deny how good it was either. it was so thrilling and i know its so wrong. it was a very big deal for him, he has only been married about 18months.

    he's a married man - he does not belong to you and he's a scumbag for doing this with his wife - leave him alone and find someone who isn't attached.

    is it so wrong to seek solace when feeling so low?

    it is when you are doing it with someone who doesn't belong to you and if you think you're sad now, just wait till this blows up in your face and you can be sure it will if you continue to go down a road that will only lead to misery for all concerned.


  • #4
    Zombrex
    Closed Accounts Posts: 25,848 ✭✭✭✭Zombrex


    emot1onal&sad wrote:
    Iam having a bit of a crap time of it recently, trying to overcome a personal issue that hasn't been resolved & combined with the fact that my love life is awful means i'm feelin low. some people woudl even say i have a perfect life but things are getting on top of me. I was recently rejected with no reason given by the first person i've met in a long time who i felt somethin' strongly for and my selfesteem is in tatters. so what does this stupid woman do? for a few years now there has been a huge and electric attraction between me and a married man. I very rarely see him, he is not in my social circle but works in a pub so i would have to go and seek him out, we have only ever kissed. i had sex with him last nite and now i feel terrible but i can't deny how good it was either. it was so thrilling and i know its so wrong. it was a very big deal for him, he has only been married about 18months. part of me is very tempted to see him again. i'm not sure what i'm asking here, i'm confused and feel like sh1t. is it so wrong to seek solace when feeling so low? i don't WANT to ever see him again but part of me does. i belive in carma and i'd hate what has happend to happen to me. thanks for reading


    I think you should forget about looking for comfort in others for the moment, including this married man, and try working on your own issues.

    Ask yourself why you are turning to something you know is wrong for a boost in self confidence. Ask yourself why do you have to do that in the first place? I don't know what you mean when you say you were "rejected" by someone recently (did you break up with someone or did they just turn you down), but why did that effect you so badly? You seem to not be very happy living in your own skin at the moment, and your self esteem is down, so focus on that rather than trying to complicate things with someone else, especially something as so complicated and f**ked up as having an affair.


  • #5
    Fanny Cradock
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,245 ✭✭✭✭Fanny Cradock


    in practice it's simple: don't see him again.


    it's unlikely that anything other than hurt will come from what amounts to you guys having your jollies. as Thaedydal, suggested, sort your own life out. don't add to your problems!!


    good luck


  • #6
    justsomebloke
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,407 ✭✭✭✭justsomebloke


    enjoy last night for what it was, but leave it at that. It may have been wrong but don't dwell on it nothing good will come from that.

    The reason you went with him is that you are looking for someone to love you and he was showing you attension. However all he is looking for is a no strings relationship, no matter what he says if you talk to him again. but you aren't. If you go back to him he will just string you along.

    You said if you wanted to meet him you had to go looking for him, so i am gathering that you did go looking for him last night and look for something from him which you got. At the moment i to would suggest not getting into a relationship with anyone and try and sort out what you feel is wrong with your life that you are depressed about and try and figure out then what you want from life, cause from what i have read you may just jump into any relationship where someone is giving you the attension you currently want even if it's right.

    So have a good think of what you want and get out and enjoy your life, cause if people think you have teh perfect life once you sort out your personal life you may just have that perfect life they think you have. So good luck and hope you find what you are looking for


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  • #7
    LundiMardi
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,144 ✭✭✭LundiMardi


    emot1onal&sad wrote:
    Iam having a bit of a crap time of it recently, trying to overcome a personal issue that hasn't been resolved & combined with the fact that my love life is awful means i'm feelin low. some people woudl even say i have a perfect life but things are getting on top of me. I was recently rejected with no reason given by the first person i've met in a long time who i felt somethin' strongly for and my selfesteem is in tatters. so what does this stupid woman do? for a few years now there has been a huge and electric attraction between me and a married man. I very rarely see him, he is not in my social circle but works in a pub so i would have to go and seek him out, we have only ever kissed. i had sex with him last nite and now i feel terrible but i can't deny how good it was either. it was so thrilling and i know its so wrong. it was a very big deal for him, he has only been married about 18months. part of me is very tempted to see him again. i'm not sure what i'm asking here, i'm confused and feel like sh1t. is it so wrong to seek solace when feeling so low? i don't WANT to ever see him again but part of me does. i belive in carma and i'd hate what has happend to happen to me. thanks for reading
    very self involved are we? me me me me me is all i hear... Cop on, you were rejected and now you feel like ****e, happens to us ALL, but now you've gone and wrecked a marriage to make yourself feel better. How noble of you. Don't think the man's WIFE will soo sympathetic.

    Grow up.


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