Worst song lyrics ever written?

knox1664

I was just thinking about some of the awful lyrics Ive heard in the past and I reckon that Tom Jones - Sex Bomb is probably the worst song EVER written (Lyrically).

Well, either that or possibly something like Shakira - Whenever, wherever.

What do YOU reckon?

Worst song ever written?

mountainyman

knox1664 wrote:

Worst song ever written?

The lyrics below are not the worst but the best songs ever written

Tears on the telephone
Help poor out the rain
Where Were You (when the world stopped truning)

Or the song without lyrics ODB freestyling
Go axe yo mamma
what is the recipe
uh dum de go axe yo dad he uh

Raekwon tries to give him an out but ODB just keeps digging.

I advise all of you to search and read the lyrics.

There will be a test.

Atrocity

Tom Jones - Sex Bomb.. I agree. I always found that song ridiculous, especially the bit where he laughs.

What about these lyrics from a Pras song called 'For The Love of This':

...Scuba Diving with the Navy Seals in the Yellow Submarine

Headed for, the Philippines, microphone fiend with are regain green

It burns when I eat tangerine, wash it down with a cup of Gasoline

Burn into flames...

MrJoeSoap

Keep rollin rollin rollin rollin.

Zaph

I know it's only recent, but this surely is a contender:

What you gon' do with all that junk?
All that junk inside your trunk?
I'ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely little lumps. (Check it out)
Etc., etc., ad nauseum

My Humps - Black Eyed Peas

MrJoeSoap

zaph wrote:

I know it's only recent, but this surely is a contender:

What you gon' do with all that junk?
All that junk inside your trunk?
I'ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely little lumps. (Check it out)
Etc., etc., ad nauseum

My Humps - Black Eyed Peas

But she's soooooooo hot. And if they make a video for it (which they did!) it's even better!

Atrocity

she looks like a man

Mossy Monk

zaph wrote:

I know it's only recent, but this surely is a contender:

What you gon' do with all that junk?
All that junk inside your trunk?
I'ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely little lumps. (Check it out)
Etc., etc., ad nauseum

My Humps - Black Eyed Peas

amazingly this is the song i thought of when i saw this thread

Royale with Cheese

zaph wrote:

I know it's only recent, but this surely is a contender:

What you gon' do with all that junk?
All that junk inside your trunk?
I'ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely little lumps. (Check it out)
Etc., etc., ad nauseum

My Humps - Black Eyed Peas

Yep this wins, hands down. Worst lyrics ever by a mile. Other contenders are... Where is the love? Another Black Eyed Peas classic. In fact all the sh*te that they've ever done. Proves you don't need talent when you've got apparent style and a hot singer.

Greenhorse

Lads your way off the pace with Black Eyed Peas,

You need go no further than that man Scooter:. Go on sing it out loud. I bet you never new the words anyway. The first verse makes the only bit of sense in the whole thing lol

The Logical Song

When I was young, it seemed that life was so wonderful,
a miracle, oh it was beautiful, magical.
And all the birds in the trees, well they'd be singing so happilly,
so joyfully,
Oh, playfully watching me.

Good morning!
Yea-ah!
1,2-1,2,3,4!
Pump it up!
Aah!

I ramp, me no ramp, me no skin, me no play, yeah!
When me chant 'pon the microphone and me say with the DJ...
Junglists in the place!
Junglists on the case!
Scooter, are you Ratty?

Come on!

Love, peace and unity! Siberia the place to be!
The K, the L, the F and the ology...
Halleluja!!
1,2-1,2,3 Yeah!
Rough!
Aaahh...!!

Here we go!!

Stand up!!

Once again!

We're gettin' jiggy!

Siberiaaaaahhh!!!...

Yeah!

Goodbye!


How bloody marvelous was that eh? Not a clue what he was talking about but danced like a maniac when ever it was played.


ps I must also give a nod to Right Said Fred for " I'm to sexy" and "Deeply Dippy"

Bloody fantastically awfull!!

Rgds
Niall

Mossy Monk

Greenhorse wrote:

How bloody marvelous was that eh? Not a clue what he was talking about but danced like a maniac when ever it was played.

lol, when did Scooter ever make sense

arbeitsscheuer

No contest peeps - The Stylistics' "Na Na is the Saddest Word" (Even the title conveys its absolutely ballsology)

Na, na, na, na, na, na, na
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na

Na, na is the saddest word I ever heard
Baby, don’t say it
Please don’t say it

Na, na, na, na, na, na, na
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na

Na, na is the surest way to break my heart
Baby, don’t do it
Please don’t do it

After these masterful verses they round it off with this gem of a canon

Na, na, na, na, na, na, na (Na, na, na, na)
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na (Na, na, na, na)
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na (Na, na, na, na)
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na (Na, na, na, na)

Na, na, na, na, na, na, na (Na, na, na, na)
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na

Quite startlingly bad.

spacecoyote

There was this dodgy irish boy band called D-Side a couple of years ago had a song called "Invisible". I think it was supposed to be romantic but it just came across creepy and perverse if you ask me. Sample Lyrics...

"If i was Invisible,
I would just watch you in your room
...
If I was invisible I'd make you mine tonight"

Was i the only one to think this song was wrong on so many levels?

hallelujah

great band tho but this one is terrible...

The Libertines, Up the Bracket's I get along

"I get along, just singing my song, people tell me I'm wrong..... F*ck 'em"

Amazotheamazing

Scooter weren't just about the music, they were about the revolution.

MrJoeSoap

Amazotheamazing wrote:

Scooter weren't just about the music, they were about the revolution.

Rofl, post of the day!

Wertz

Mossy Monk wrote:

amazingly this is the song i thought of when i saw this thread

*hi5*

Who cares what the stupid bint looks like? Since when do looks ahve anything to do with how good or bad a song or it's lyrics are?

Ihad a similar argument with a guy at work the other day when this POS came on the radio;
Me; "It's shíte, turn it off"
Him "Yeah but she's a ride"
Me; "It's on the feckin radio"


Following a close second to My Humps, is that one Mr Blunt is currently aurally assaulting us with, Wise men or something....I've heard it X many times and it still makes NO sense, even though the lyrics sound l;ike they're supposed to. cack.

I'm sure there's loads more, but that'll do for now...


[edit] Oh scooter...good call. I'd prefer to just blank him from my memory and thankfully he didn't get airplay on most of the stations I'd listen to.

Nightwish

The worst lyrics for me, besides all that meaningless pop drivel vomited up by the latest starlet or puppet-band, would have to be Nymphomaniac Fantasia by my beloved Nightwish:

The scent of a woman was not mine...

Welcome home darling
Did you miss me?
Wish to dwell in dear love?

Touch my milklike skin
Feel the ocean
Lick my deepest
Hear the starry choir

Rip off this lace
That keeps me imprisoned
But beware of the enchantment
For my eroticism is oblivion

Old love lies deep you said
Deeper shall be the wound between your legs

ferdi

"Let Me Be Your Valentine" By the mighty SCOOTER



Scooter! Scooter!...
Get up!!
Yeah!
Let Me be your valentine!!...yeah!
Let Me Be Your Valentine!!...come on!
Let Me be your valentine!!...yeah!
Let Me be your valentine!!...come on!
Let Me be your valentine!!...yeah!
Let Me be your valentine!!...come on!
You have to move RIGHT NOW!
Do you understand?!
Please..jump a little higher
We're gonna' rock the place...Yes!
Speed it up! Speed it up! Turn up the Bass!
Speed it up! Speed it up! Turn up the Bass!
Higher and Higher feeling so fine
Listen to the voice of Valentine!
Let me be your Valentine!...yeah!
Let me be your Valentine!...come on!
Let me be your Valentine!...yeah!
Let me be your Valentine!...come on!
Let me be your Valentine!...yeah!
Let me be your Valentine!...come on!...yeah!
Rough!!
We love the happy hardcore!
We're getting out of control!
Please...let me see you smile!
Let's get into another dimension...
YES! Speed it up! Speed it up! Turn up the bass!
Speed it up! Speed it up! Turn up the bass!
Higher and higher feeling so fine,

Listen to the voice of Valentine!

Let me be your Valentine!...yeah!
Let me be your Valentine!...come on!
Let me be your Valentine!...yeah!
Let me be your Valentine!...come on!
This is a Valentine's party!...Party!!
Come on!
Thank you!!

monkeyfudge

People, people... The Logical Song was by Supertramp... all Scooter did was butcher it up a bit.

For me it has to be Life by Des'ree

Life

I'm afraid of the dark,
'specially when I'm in a park
And there's no-one else around,
Ooh, i get the shivers

I don't want to see a ghost,
it's a sight that I fear most
I'd rather have a piece of toast and
watch the evening news

Life, oh life, oh life, oh life, doo,
doot doot dooo. Life, oh life, oh life,
oh life, doo, doot dooo

I'm a superstitious girl,
I'm the worst in the world
Never walk under ladders,
I keep a rabbit's tail

I'll take you up on a dare, anytime, anywhere
Name the place, I'll be there, bungee jumping,
I don't care!

So after all is said and done
I know I'm not the only one
Life indeed can be fun, if you really want to
Sometimes living out your dreams,
Ain't as easy as it seems
You wanna fly around the world,
In a beautiful balloon

Pighead

Roxette The Look

1-2-3-4 walking like a man
Hitting like a hammer
She's a juvenile scam
Never was a quitter
Tasty like a raindrop
She's got the look

To be quite honest this whole verse confuses Pighead but the bit where Per yells "Tasty like a raindrop" always made me worry about the poor lads tastebuds.
Steak and Chips with a runny egg and peppered sauce=Tasty
Raindrop=Wet, slightly acidy and maybe refreshing but absolutely a million miles from tasty.

And as well as that if the girls walking like a man and hitting like a hammer she can keep that Look to herself thank you very much.

county

paddy casey

saints and sinners,cant stand it!



Anyone can loose it all
Anyone can loose it all
If you don't heed your warnings call
Anyone can loose it all

Anyone can make a mess
Anyone can make a mess
Just take so much and make it less
Anyone can make a mess

When you got time and streets making saints & sinners
Ink on sheets makin' losers and winners
Well it's not what your dreams should be

Anyone can be a saint
Well anyone can be a saint
Well you just forget that you ain't
Well we can go and be a saint

Anyone can be a star
Well anyone can be a star
We'll just get in your car
And we can go and be a star

When you got time and streets making saints & sinners
Ink on sheets makin' losers and winners
Well it's not what your dreams should be

You know I wish we had more time
You know I wish we had more time
You know I think it was a crime
The things we waste trying to not waste our time

When you got time and streets making ends for beginners
Shuffling feets on these losers and winners
Well it's not what your dreams should be

Greenhorse

Okay People,

It is becoming painfully obvious that to make a lot of money singing songs they dont need to mean ANYTHING! :eek:

However me thinks that there needs to be somthing else apart form the lyrics.

**** lyrics go un-noticed by most people if there is a catchy tune or memorable video to go with. Or in the case of Scooter, Pills, Pills and more Pills - Siberiiiiiiiiiaaaaaa - :rolleyes:

Bo Selecta :cool: ,

Niall

Puck

What's she gonna look like with a chimney on her?

... I dunno... a house?

Asok

*Scrunches his man boobs together*
My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.....

BlackSabbath

i had something in mind but just saw humps was mentionned. this takes the cake for worst song ever made.

spacecoyote

monkeyfudge wrote:

People, people... The Logical Song was by Supertramp... all Scooter did was butcher it up a bit.

For me it has to be Life by Des'ree

Life

I'm afraid of the dark,
'specially when I'm in a park
And there's no-one else around,
Ooh, i get the shivers

I don't want to see a ghost,
it's a sight that I fear most
I'd rather have a piece of toast and
watch the evening news

Life, oh life, oh life, oh life, doo,
doot doot dooo. Life, oh life, oh life,
oh life, doo, doot dooo

I'm a superstitious girl,
I'm the worst in the world
Never walk under ladders,
I keep a rabbit's tail

I'll take you up on a dare, anytime, anywhere
Name the place, I'll be there, bungee jumping,
I don't care!

So after all is said and done
I know I'm not the only one
Life indeed can be fun, if you really want to
Sometimes living out your dreams,
Ain't as easy as it seems
You wanna fly around the world,
In a beautiful balloon

Oh god, why did you have to recall that awful thing back to my mind, they really are painful lyrics! a primary school child could do better

monkeyfudge

spacecoyote wrote:

Oh god, why did you have to recall that awful thing back to my mind, they really are painful lyrics! a primary school child could do better

yep.. she rhymed 'dark' with 'park'... outstanding stuff.. really!

SprostonGreen

Black eyed peas are terrible.

But what about this tripe from Meatloaf - Anything for love.

Will you raise me up, will you help me down?
Will you get me right out of this godforsaken town?
Will you make it all a little less cold?
I can do that! I can do that!

Will you hold me sacred? will you hold me tight?
Can you colorize my life, I’m so sick of black and white?
Can you make it all a little less old?
I can do that! oh oh, now I can do that!
Will you make me some magic, with your own two hands?
Can you build an emerald city with these grains of sand?
Can you give me something I can take home?
I can do that! oh oh now, I can do that!

Will you cater to every fantasy I got?
Will ya hose me down with holy water, if I get too hot?
Will you take me places I’ve never known?
I can do that! oh oh now, I can do that!
After a while you’ll forget everything
It was a brief interlude and a midsummer night’s fling
And you’ll see that it’s time to move on
I won’t do that! no I won’t do that!

I know the territory, I’ve been around
It’ll all turn to dust and we’ll all fall down
And sooner or later, you’ll be screwing around
I won’t do that! no I won’t do that!
Anything for love, oh I would do anything for love
I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that, no I won’t do that

super_furry

Don't tell me you've all forgotten about the musical abomination that was Vanilla. Four horrid Essex slappers, singing about you not being able to shag them, even though they've probably seen more action than Ron Jeremy.

Sex feel
Sex feel
Sex feel
Sex feel

*We're always together never apart
Sisters through and through
We're only havin' fun
To give the boys their run
We can get a kick out of you, boy

*Repeat

Ah, if you tempt with your charms
Ah, you can hold me in your arms
Ah, but if you fought yourself on me
Ah, no no no no no way no way, man-ah mah-ah man-ah

**No way no way, man-ah man-ah man-ah
No way no way, man-ah man-ah man-ah
No way no way,
No way no way no way, man-ah man-ah man-ah
No way no way, man-ah man-ah man-ah
No way no way, man-ah man-ah man-ah
No way no way, not today

We share each others' secrets
Don't take things to heart
Friendship that will always be true, mmm
We're lookin' for the guys that can take us to new highs
Sex feel
Intelligence too

*Repeat

Ah, if you got the genes and think
Ah, you can buy me with one drink
Ah, come we're livin' in a dreamworld, boy
Ah, no no no no no way, no way, man-ah man-ah man-ah

**Repeat

meldrew

Dont forget the king of bad lyrics - Noel Gallagher , great tunes but crap words
Slowly walking down the hall faster than a cannonball
I know a girl called Elsa , shes into Alka Seltzer
And so Sally can wait she knows its too late
Just a few that came to mind there's loads more