Dumping GF

Funky

So explain to me, without attacking me (from reading most of your posts I'm not sure this is possible), how taking into consideration that the girls word may NOT be perfectly true is dumber than blindly accepting that she is telling the truth?

For someone who seems to post on a PI board quite alot you don't seem to be in the slightest helpful to anyone other than calling them dumbasses, saying "How very bright of you", and LOLROLLSEYESing excessively.

chump

You get used to that sort of stuff around here Funky :eek:

esp. :rolleyes: , it's an old favourite

daiixi

LundiMardi wrote:

OT for a sec - no offence to your friends, but methinks maybe they didn't know exactly what they were doing with their contraception, falling pregnant once is one thing, twice is very hard to believe that were using what they say they were.

Back on topic >>

OT follow up: First time it happens everyone assumes you're the unlucky .3%.. second time you find out that the pill actually wasn't stopping her from ovulating and that she's a very fertile lady. In a relationship spanning a couple of years the liklihood of condom failure, due to any number of factors, does exist. There are statistics for a reason and some people are simply unlucky.

Back on topic... I don't understand why, if a man will dump his gf for "falling pregant on the pill", the man in question doesn't use condoms and spermicide? Men can take an active role in contraception too.

kittenkiller

If you're the one who's so anti-having children at such an early age with this girl hten the responsibility of contraception lies with you.
If she says she doesn't like sex with condoms you should've said that you prefer the security of them & won't have sex without.
You could understand if the two of you had been together a long time & you trusted her fully that you might discuss the pros & cons of other methods of contraception, but 2 months is no time!

You made your bed through bad decisions & irresponsible actions, lie in it, deal with it & grow up!

Taken correctly the pill is more effective than condoms when used correctly but at least with a condom you don't have to wait til it's too late to realise that something's gone wrong!

Sony

Poor fella-am I right youre 17?

As crap as you must feel you need to realise also what you are considering to do - dumping your g/f....whether you do or not is neither here nor there - but you HAVE to come round to realising the right thing to do davey and thats supporting YOUR child

It must be devastating for you but its not the end of the world - even if you stop going out with your g/f , be a man-take responsibility and prepare yourself to do your best for the newcomer...if she decides to keep it and you dont at least support the baby Im afraid you've every right to feel ashamed of yourself-whats happened is done now and at this moment in time you shouldnt be concerned about how it happened , so do yourself and everyone else a favour and do the decent thing


best of luck

uzami

Something similar happened to myself.

My ex-GF became pregnant whilst on the pill. Now it was only a short-term relationship at the time and after taking some time to think it through I felt that the best course of action was to finish with her.

Reasons being that I felt that we did not have the right connection to sustian a long-term relationship and any pretence of remaining a couple to address the pregnancy was false and likely to cause even more problems at a later date as it would muddy the waters and the decision making process.

However, this was balanced with an offer that no matter what course of action she decided to take it would be fully supported by myself.

This is the important thing. You can finish with her, that is your perogative, but you cannot deny the pregnancy and the fact that she may choose to have your child. if you start creating an antagonistic environment now, it will only come back to haunt you in a myriad of ways in later years.

I took an inordinate amount of grief and stick over the months whilst she was pregnant. (she decided she wanted to keep the baby). I said to all and sundry that what i would do is take responsibilty and enter into a shared parenting arrangement. Of course this was dismissed as bullSh*t by all the commentators, and they proceeded to pour more scorn on me and my actions.

This was all eight years ago now, and my actions thereafter have no relevance to this post as that was a personal choice, BUT you have to accept that you have the right to finish the relationship, but you may have to deal with the consequences of the relationship for the rest of your life and the sooner you start trying to process that information and accepting that by dumping her you aren't getting rid of her and/or the child, the better for all.

Talliesin

uzami wrote:

My ex-GF became pregnant whilst on the pill. Now it was only a short-term relationship at the time and after taking some time to think it through I felt that the best course of action was to finish with her.

Reasons being that I felt that we did not have the right connection to sustian a long-term relationship and any pretence of remaining a couple to address the pregnancy was false and likely to cause even more problems at a later date as it would muddy the waters and the decision making process.

Probably the best decision. Of course "finishing with" someone is different to "dumping" them.

Agent S

OMG :eek: I'm disgusted! Not every girl out there that falls pregnant 'unexpectedly' has done so in order to trap you! Christ, if you're such a catch for her to tie-down, why aren't you facing up to what YOU HAVE ALSO DONE?!!! You are a complete prat, and one day you will realise what you have done.

Victor

Agent S wrote:

You are a complete prat

I've issued a warning already.

Banned for a week.

Sifo

personally OP your girlfriend (or ex) might be better off without you tbh.

How can you justify leaving this girl to go through this alone? I take it your quite young and you still have a bit of growing up to do. There is plenty of support out there so there's no need to duck and run. If you do, you'll regret it for the rest of your life and your child who you abandoned might never forgive you, trust me.

Teg Veece

Like it or not,that girl is pregant with YOUR CHILD. In a few months time you are going to have a son or daughter. Stop thinking about it as just an inconvenience and help out the soon to be mother of your first kid.

Sharza-

OP, I would seriously rethink what you are doing, and by that I dont necsisarily mean go back to her. Ask yourself the question, is it possible somebody else got her pregnant if you were practising "safe sex".

daiixi wrote:

I have a friend who fell pregnant while using condoms and being on the pill to the same guy.. twice.. there are statistics for a reason.

Dumping your gf because she falls pregnant? She deserves better than you.

OT but, twice? Once would even be enough to raise my susipicions, but twice? I think there is a greater posibility that your friends may actually fall into a difirent statistic, and that is paternity fraud.

I have had personally, 2 instances with women who had boyfriends at the time, that ensured me that if they did become pregnant from me that they would say it was their boyfriends.

daiixi

Sharza- wrote:

OT but, twice? Once would even be enough to raise my susipicions, but twice? I think there is a greater posibility that your friends may actually fall into a difirent statistic, and that is paternity fraud.

Yes, twice. She's been checked out by doctors and is pretty much fertile most of the time. It's medically proven and they're both happy with the diagnosis they've received. She's now using other forms of birth control and they seem to be working.

On the other hand I've friends who have never used protection and have never fallen pregnant and medically there's no reason why they aren't falling pregnant.

Typically it's the one's who can't fall pregnant who want to have kids.

kizzyr

Talliesin wrote:

Some people really do think the pill is 100% effective.

Some men really do think the world is full of women trying to get pregnant to "trap" men.

He could just be thick, and not a troll.

Still pretty contemptible though.

Because he's a contemptible excuse for a human being.

Sounds like one of the worlds biggest **** ever (should he not be a troll). I've no doubt that he felt because he is 17 and therefore so mature he had every right to have sex, showing your maturity now aren't you:rolleyes: To be honest it sounds like she is better off without this gob****e. It will be terribly difficult for her to cope with this on her own but hopefuly her family will be supportive and she will learn from this exactly how pathetic some men can be and stay well clear in future. I also hope that this bloke doesn't pressurise her into having an abortion. If she decides that that is her only option then it is entirely her personal choice but from the sound of things he won't be very supportive for her or help her deal with the aftermath of that either. :mad:

mountainyman

Well that's it she's pregnant and you got her pregnant and your youth is over.

Don't dump her. It is tough but you need to get some sort of relationship with that kid if you know it is yours. In the long run you will hate yourself if you abandon this kid, even if you were the most selfish guy in the world it would be a big mistake.

Don't be emotional, don't be a sap. Don't tell people you are dumping her because she fell pregnant. Be cool and clearheaded and cynical.

You need:
1] to get a relationship with your kid
2] to make sure that kid has a relationship with your family
3] to make sure that this girl isn't hounding you for money while you are in . __ college/doing an apprenticeship.
4] to earn the money that you need to provide for a kid fairly young


You are going to have to work your ass off from now on. Figure out what you want to do and can do (pick ONE thing) and work for it. Go to college or do an apprenticeship make sure you are earning young.

By the way you can't say she was lying to you. Young girls have erratic periods and the pill doesn't work as well for them.

MM

rsynnott

DaveyC wrote:

Her problem now, i really do not see why people are so against me including my so called mates

Are you aware that you can (and quite likely will) be compelled to pay maintenance?

And, from what you've been writing, that's probably about all you should have to do with the child.

Also, if you were together two months, it was a little foolish not to be using condoms.

MrMc wrote:

Buddy...I do have a gf but she knows the score....if she ever gets pregnant we're on the first plane to england to visit a clinic.

Erm... lovely. She would, of course, be well within her rights not to comply.

LegacyUser

OP - understandably you're freaked out by what's happened and are probably confused as to what to do, but "dumping" her at this time was extremely insensitive and selfish. If you think you're freaked out, she's probably 100 times worse.

Now I'm presuming both of you are quite young and if so then I highly doubt she's gone and gotten pregnant on purpose as a form of trapping you into staying with her, so you can scratch off that conspiracy right there.

As was said already, take some time and think about it.

There is always the option of giving it up for adoption, there's thousands of couples out there, unable to conceive, who would be amazing parents to the child. It would also let you get on with your life, you're still young and to have this happen at such a young age is going to change both your lives dramatically if you decide to keep it.

Abortion is another option, I'm sure you're aware of the details of it.

You need to get both your and your (ex)girlfriends families together and sit down and talk about this, this won't go away just by "dumping" her.

There are options out there which you all need to seriously consider.

Take some time and think about it, then sit down and talk about it because as I've already said, this isn't going to magically disappear any time soon.

Shellie13

What kind of 17year old girl would get pregnant to "trap" a man?! Sorry...little boy!!! Cos thats how your acting-its shocking that someone coluld be so insensitive... imo peoplwe like you dont deserve to have anybody!!!
So can we safely assume shes ACTUALLY 17??? cos if shes younger uv got a statutory case on your hands...so YOUR child is the least of your worries!!!
Noones expecting you to MARRY the girl but you could atleast show some fcuking respect and BRE THERE for your kid!!!

LegacyUser

Ok, I've read enough of this crap.

Here's what you must do. GET RID!! PRONTO!

Stay WELL clear of her. That's the typical syte a nutcase bird will dump on your shoulders. It's a serious head-f**K, it might be some kind of test she's doing on you, to see how much she can get away with down the long run.

It's probably not even your kid, don't go near her and let her claim for the kid off the social. It's not like she'll be the first bird in this situation, so don't feel bad. You don't need be waisting your money and time on a kid. You could easily have a NEW VW Golf for same cost as feeding a baby for the year. She can do all the raising of the kid on her own, the kid will turn out grand. Birds get loads off the social. I'm just saying this so you don't feel bad.

Victor

Shellie13 banned for [strike]speeling mistakes[/strike] abuse.

LegacyUser

Who's banned?