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Who needs Chuck Norris??

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  • 07-04-2006 11:26am
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 4,082 ✭✭✭


    Someone tried to tackle David Wallace once but then found out you can't tackle David Wallace.
    The popular videogame "Doom" is based loosely around the time Satan borrowed two bucks from Denis Leamy and forgot to pay him back
    You are what you eat. That is why Paul O'Connells diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children
    The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when David Wallace punched himself in the face
    Denis Leamy sold his soul to the devil for his ability to never feel pain and unparalleled strength. Shortly after the transaction was finalised, Leamy bounced the devil before dumping him on hiss ass and taking his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
    The only thing we have to fear is fear itself... The only thing fear has to fear is Paul O' Connell
    Similar to a Russian Nesting Doll, if you were to break David wallace open you would find another David Wallace inside, only smaller and angrier.
    An Englishman once tried to throw a ball over Denis Leamy's head......This has gone down as the biggest mistake in rugby history
    When the Incredible Hulk gets angry he transforms into Paul O'Connell
    Superman owns a pair of David Wallace pyjamas.
    Denis Leamy once had a near death experience...needless to say death now refuses to come near him.
    On Moh's hardness scale, diamond is a 10. Paul O'Connell is an 11.
    David Wallace wears a cup not to protect himself, but to protect the players on the other team.
    We all know the magic word is please.. As in the sentence, "Please don't kill me." Too bad Denis Leamy doesn't believe in magic
    The world record for most simultanaeous female orgasms was set when Paul O' Connell took off his top in Paris
    David Wallace is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right shoulders
    Denis Leamy is Bruce Wayne
    Paul O'Connell appeared in the "Mortal Kombat II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to run the length of the screen and bust his opponent earning him a " Flawless Victory". When asked about this "glitch,"
    O'Connell replied, "That's no glitch."
    As a child David Wallace used to hunt alligators in the Shannon. I know what you are thinking: "There are no alligators in the Shannon".
    Yeah...Now!
    Denis Leamy hates playing 'Rock Paper Scissors' because he doesn't believe anything could beat rock. He always chooses rock, and when someone throws paper, he says,"I win." If someone is foolish enough to dispute this, he takes his clenched fist and punches them in the face, then says, "I thought your paper would protect you."
    Human females have two X chromosomes.. Males have an X and a Y. Paul O'Connell has three Ys and a P. He's more man than you'll ever be.
    Denis Leamy Paul O' Connel and David Wallace once went to Wembley to see England v Ireland in a soccer match. They stood in the middle of the English crowd in their Irish jerseys. This has gone down in history as the only time a whole stadium sang the away teams national anthem and a minute silence was held for the home teams'.


Comments

  • Moderators, Regional East Moderators Posts: 23,224 Mod ✭✭✭✭GLaDOS


    ScienceNerd counted to infinity....twice



    Hey, everyones doin it :p

    Cake, and grief counseling, will be available at the conclusion of the test



  • Registered Users Posts: 1,196 ✭✭✭pyramuid man


    Wow. Did you manage to just change the name of every chuck norris,david hasslehoff, Vin Diesel and whichever ****ing eejit these quotes have been attached to all by yourself.

    Wow. Thats a real humdinger.


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