Ignoring Me

LegacyUser

I don't really know how to put this but here it goes.

I've been seeing this guy for a few weeks now, we got on great, always texting etc and chatting online.

Anyway, we had sex. It wasn't particually the best sex (well from my point of view anyway) but it wasn't really bad sex either.

After we had sex he basically ignored me for about 2-3 days. Didn't text me back or wasn't online.

Then things went back to normal, not completely normal, still not texting much but still chatting online.

We had sex again on Monday and the same thing is happening again. He's not texting me or chatting to me online.

When he does talk to me he's interested. ie "I can't wait to see you again" etc.

I thought it might be just that he's busy but its happened twice now.

I really don't know what to do. There's no point in me talking to him about it because he's not replying to my text's or online.

Nevyn

Are you in a relationship with this person ?
or just casually dating them ?
or just having sex with them ocassionally ?

Sounds like you both have a differing idea of what exactly is going on between you.
I would suggest letting him get in touch with you while you get on with your own life and then arrange to go for a cup of coffe and have a chat about what is going on and what you want.
It could be you want a proper exclusive relationship and you are expecting him to behave to wards you in a certain way and that is not how he sees things between you.
Cool your heels for a while, let him come to you and then have a face to face talk about the situation.

Oryx

When he wants sex, he puts in the effort. When hes had sex he doesnt. I think Thaedydal got it in a nutshell, you are seeing something in this that he isnt. Perhaps you need to move on to greener pastures.

Kell

Seems like he is attempting the "treat em mean keep em keen" crap. And you're falling for it.

Ask yourself a question- do you like this treatment? If you do, get on with it, if you dont, move on.

Its really that simple.

K-

jcoote

sometimes if its not a full on realtionship guys (and some girls) will treat their partner much more casually than said partner would like...

but see because its casual the person bein hurt can't say to much because it could be over at the drop of a hat.

so basically become more serious if both your lifestyles allow or this will continue...

the more slack u give some people the more they'll take

everything is so simple until sex is involved innit

Kiera

It actually sounds like he has a gf to be honest. Think about it. He only text’s chats to you every so often. Whats to say those other days he’s not with her and that’s why he isn’t talking to you. Sounds like a rat to me!

the Guru

KatieK wrote:

When he wants sex, he puts in the effort. When hes had sex he doesnt. I think Thaedydal got it in a nutshell, you are seeing something in this that he isnt. Perhaps you need to move on to greener pastures.

I tend to agree, some blokes are like that, and women are exactly the same.

jcoote

could be right kiera...OP try and get more serious and u will see his true colours for sure

kittenkiller

Hard luck, he's an a$$.
And not only that, he's an a$$ that isn't even that good in bed.

If you're going to let yourself be treated like that, at least let it be by someone who gives you something in return.

Tis a nasty situation to be in, just walk away.
Sorry.

LegacyUser

Think i'll just give up on him and move on. Thanks for all the advice.

I always seem to end up with the assholes.

Exon

That's because even good lads have to act the asshole to keep a girl interested nowadays.

Ask him why he doesn't reply or anything and if he starts talking stupid tell him to **** off

I'd find someone else if I was in your shoes tbh... gl!

Zebra3

Ignorinme wrote:

When he does talk to me he's interested. ie "I can't wait to see you again" etc.

Replace 'wait' with 'f*ck' and I think you've found the reality of your situation.

kittenkiller

ignorinme wrote:

I always seem to end up with the assholes.

Ah don't be thinking like that.
Keep positive, at least that's one more Mr. Wrong out of the way on your quest of Mr. Right.
You'll fall for someone else soon enough, but it helps to know them in real life before you decide whether you like them or not & move things further.

Don't give up hope!

AngryAnderson

Zebra3 wrote:

Replace 'wait' with 'f*ck' and I think you've found the reality of your situation.

'I can't f**k to see you again'?

TerrorFirmer

AngryAnderson wrote:

'I can't f**k to see you again'?

Haha!

I'm only going to echoing the past posters here but it seems like this guy is quite possibly only after the sex. That said, it is also worth noting that...

Maybe he doesn't realise the kind of relationship you want this to develop into. Some guys find a happy place in a casual relationship and don't really consider the possibility that the other half is looking at it differently.

I know the way you are phrasing it makes it sound incriminating but it doesn't necessarily make him a bad guy. Of course, maybe he IS, but its better to know where you're both standing before reaching pre emptive conclusions - all you can do is tell him how you feel about the whole situation and whatever his response may be, at least it'll be up to you to continue or discontinue the relationship knowing all the facts.

[Jackass]

Sounds to me like you've got a booty caller

Would you condsider just being fu*k buddies? If it's out in the open and you talk and agree on it then it's actually really good fun...no strings, no pressure to see eachother etc...just sex and having fun together...If you like him, it's a bit of a silver medal i suppose.

If you do do this though (and obviously he'd be up for having that kind of "relationship") make sure you use it to distance yourself from your feelings for him and have a bit of closure...don't let yourself fall for him or it'll end messy.

LegacyUser

So bloody typical of this board and the people on it to instantly label this guy an a$$hole (notably some of the women even making the massive leap to assume hes got a gf).

Hey there girl, did you consider bringing this up with him before you hopped into bed with him the second time? No.

As dub guy says, this guy could be just after a very casual thing for all you know (you dont seem to have provided much details) and if this is the case, im not sure where hes doing ANYTHING wrong. By your own admission, hes not totally ignoring you after you shag, so its not like hes being a jerk in that respect.