Resentment about friends relationships

LegacyUser

Gonna go unregged for this because it's just so silly but it's really getting me down. Also, nearly everyone involved in this story is aged around 19.

Recently, ALL my friends have gotten into relationships, except me. It seems everytime I talk to one of them, they've suddenly got a new relationship. It started at Christmas when one of my best friends who has never had a boyfriend started going out with a guy and within a month was sleeping with him. I felt quite jealous when I found out and I found myself resenting her happiness. I felt really bad about this but I couldn't help it. I'm studying abroad so I'm only home every few months. I was recently home and it actually didn't bother me that she was in a relationship, like I thought it would, but I still didn't want to talk to her about it.

Then a few nights ago, my very best friend, who's had a relationship history very like mine - single for long periods of time, still a virgin etc- suddenly announced that she's going on a date with a friend of ours who she's been scoring with on and off for a long time. Everyone else is really happy for them but I feel like my insides are twisting into knots whenever someone starts talking about them becoming a couple. Most of my other close friends are in relationships too.

I thought I'd gotten a breather from all that when I went back to uni, but my flatmate suddenly announced that, in my absence, she'd hooked up too! It seems like I can't escape happy couples, and as much as I want to be happy for my friends, I'm just resenting them. I feel really left out of my group of friends at home because I can't join in in their discussions about relationships. Also, I'm starting to worry that there's actually something wrong with me. Why can they all find partners and I can't? Guys never seem to be interested in me, at least not enough to take my number or anything. In uni, I have hardly any male friends so I find it hard to meet guys and it's too late in this current year to join any societies or clubs. Also, because I divide my time between two countries, any relationship I do start would be partially long distance.

Basically, what I'm asking in a long winded manner, is how do I go about getting over my own issues enough to be happy for my friends?

Huggles

always_single wrote:

Gonna go unregged for this because it's just so silly but it's really getting me down. Also, nearly everyone involved in this story is aged around 19.

Recently, ALL my friends have gotten into relationships, except me. It seems everytime I talk to one of them, they've suddenly got a new relationship. It started at Christmas when one of my best friends who has never had a boyfriend started going out with a guy and within a month was sleeping with him. I felt quite jealous when I found out and I found myself resenting her happiness. I felt really bad about this but I couldn't help it. I'm studying abroad so I'm only home every few months. I was recently home and it actually didn't bother me that she was in a relationship, like I thought it would, but I still didn't want to talk to her about it.

I think you maybe confusing resentment for your friends relationships with resentment for missing out on stuff happening at home. I had similar issues with my friends when I was in college. A couple of them where away and found it really hard settling back into everything anytime they came home. Its really difficult so try not to get depressed. Its just that time in life where things are getting weird because everyones lives tend to go there seperate ways.

always_single wrote:

Then a few nights ago, my very best friend, who's had a relationship history very like mine - single for long periods of time, still a virgin etc- suddenly announced that she's going on a date with a friend of ours who she's been scoring with on and off for a long time. Everyone else is really happy for them but I feel like my insides are twisting into knots whenever someone starts talking about them becoming a couple. Most of my other close friends are in relationships too.

I thought I'd gotten a breather from all that when I went back to uni, but my flatmate suddenly announced that, in my absence, she'd hooked up too! It seems like I can't escape happy couples, and as much as I want to be happy for my friends, I'm just resenting them. I feel really left out of my group of friends at home because I can't join in in their discussions about relationships. Also, I'm starting to worry that there's actually something wrong with me. Why can they all find partners and I can't? Guys never seem to be interested in me, at least not enough to take my number or anything. In uni, I have hardly any male friends so I find it hard to meet guys and it's too late in this current year to join any societies or clubs. Also, because I divide my time between two countries, any relationship I do start would be partially long distance.

There is nothing wrong with you, trust me, every woman feels like this at some point, its just heightened for you because you are away. If your really worried about it join some socs when they come around again or better yet, suggest girly nights out with your flatmates so you don't feel like a third wheel amongst the couples.

Once you relax and stop thinking there is anything wrng with you, you will see that you will slowly start to feel better about your friends and you won't be feeling jealous!

Just remember that there is no itinery to life, just go with the flow, you tend to meet new people and form new relationships when you least expect it. Cheer up.

walrusgumble

hi right prob would normally get stick fo rhis but thankfully this section seems to be mature. anyway this is a lads point of view.

you are 19? dont worry alot of lads are like that too, but i agree with the others its more resentful of missing out going with someone, and not resentment of ur friends.

being honest relationships at 19 or so, by the way i 21 so i am included, kinda too young for all that relationship stuff. its great when it works, ya feel great. but its crap when things go sour. be glad u are young free and single. u can go out and meet new people without having to answer to someone else.

the last person is right go with the flow. if ya start thinking right gotta get a boyfriend ya may go with someone just for the reason of going with them. you may like them but sure maybe ya wont tomorrow. i take it that u never did it? well then there maybe a good chance that u will with ur first bf . (not saying tat wat relationships are all bout)so make sure u decide who ya wanna go with bla etc.

enjoy the single life ya prob at some time in the future complain bout bf wrecking ur head etc, if ur lucky he dont well hey good luck to ya