Introducing new baby to a sibling

squire1

Hi all, my wife is due to give birth to our second child in a couple of weeks. Our first born is an 18 month old boy and we were wondering if anyone has any tips on how best to introduce him to his new brother/sister. The problem is we are currently moving house and he will no longer be going to his child minder (currently two days a week) so all the change might be a bit much for him. Bad planning on our part, I know, but these things happen.

Any tips on how we might make things easier on him would be greatly appreciated.

Sleipnir

That might be a bit rough on him but I think kids are more resiliant than we give them credit for.
Our newborn (now 2 months) brought his brother (3.5 years) a tractor as a present so say hello. That went down a treat.

Also talk about the new brother or sister and how he can help with him or her.

Firewalkwithme

As the previous poster said a little gift can do wonders to smooth things along. We did just that when our baby boy was born in December. We also have a 6 year old girl who had to be introduced to the new baby without being left feeling like she was no longer as important as she once was. One very important tip I will give you which from the benefit of experience, I can tell works brilliantly is this. When your older child comes to visit, have the baby in the cradle beside the mother, not in her arm. Your child will want to cuddle it's Mother (perhaps before even looking at the new baby!) and she won't be able to do that if she has the baby in her arms. Best of luck and congratulations of course!

squire1

Yeah, we thought of the present idea and had bought a big truck for him but he found it last night. (his face was priceless). Looks like we'll have to get something else from the baby:rolleyes:

He's a sociable little lad and there will be loads of familiar faces near our new house so hopefully we are worrying over nothing. It may even distract him from not seeing the child minder and her young kids whom he misses when he is not there.

Edit
Thats a good idea Despatch. Thanks

Oryx

When baby arrives make sure mammy still makes time for him on his own, doing their thing without the baby. And it helps if visitors coming in make a fuss of him first and then ask him to see 'his' baby. If presents arrive from others for baba, try not to make it too obvious unless theres one there for him, too.

My son was older by a year than yours, he still wishes he could send her back:D but at the same time tells me shes beautiful and is a very proud big brother.

Ickle Magoo

My son has just turned 16months & I had a baby on Tuesday - so know exactly what you are talking about!! lol!

We were a bit worried how the wee guy would take it - we just made sure he was introduced to his new little sister ASAP & that we were very careful not to tell him off or be scared of him wanting to touch her or come over & see her.....he is really very gentle with her & after a couple of nervous tugs of the foot of her baby-gro when I just took his hand and stroked her tummy with it while saying "Gently", he leaned over & kissed her...where-upon she promptly latched on to his nose....it was very funny! Anyway, the novelty soon wore off & after a couple of hrs of trying to see her and/or touch her all the time, he doesn't really pay her much heed.....we made sure we - and any visitors - make a big fuss of him before coming near the baby and that there is at least one person playing exclusively with him when everyone else is cooing over the baby.....best wishes with your new bundle!! hth

Victor

I think the usual "its your baby too" thing works. Does he have experience of other babies?

squire1 wrote:

Yeah, we thought of the present idea and had bought a big truck for him but he found it last night. (his face was priceless). Looks like we'll have to get something else from the baby:rolleyes:

Such presents are "for other people".

squire1

Thanks for all the advice people. The house move happened over the weekend and he settled right in. No problem going to sleep and he is loving all the extra space.

Only a week to go now until the birth of our next and if everything goes as easy for him we will be delighted.

Now, off to find where we put all the new born clothes and bottles......

fenris

Our little chap was 20 months when our new arrival landed (3 months ago), new babies sleep a lot so there is plenty of time for him, you will probably find that you do not tend to sit under the second baby as much and will make much better use of your time (that you didn't know you had). The main flash point that we found was his cot, we left our little girl into his cot for a couple of minutes while changing his nappy and there was war, as in the most upset we have ever seen him!!!

He gets on great with her now and is more likely to cause damage through kindness that any other way (e.g. trying to give her food or throwing his favourite books or toys into her cot)

Best of luck

edengarden

I've read that when kids meet their new brother/sister its important that mum is not holding baby - kind of makes sense though!

Nevyn

Well mammy will tend to have been away from them for 24 hours,
and they will be worried and concerned for thier Mam and will have missed her.
When my son came into see me, his new sister was sleeping and he got a whole 15mins of sitting on my knee and talking to me and cuddles and just time for him.
And I waited until he asked about his new sister and asked would he like to meet her.

squire1

Well, big day yesterday. Our second son arrived into the world at 3pm. We took all of the advice on here and some common sense when introducing big brother. He had no interest whatsoever until the baby started to cry. He investigated and when I picked up the baby he gave him a big kiss to make him better. I got the impression that his concern was purely instinctive as we didn't push him at all. Hopefully all will go smoothly when Mum and little brother arrive home.

Thanks again for all the advice.

Nevyn

Congratulations.

BrianCalgary

Hey Squire

Congratulations on the birth of your son. What a great age difference. My girls are now 17 and 15 and my son is 13. We have had great times over the years without being 'hampered' down by age.

Blessings. I don't even know you and I'm getting a tear. I:) love kids.

Freedomfighter

Despatch wrote:

As the previous poster said a little gift can do wonders to smooth things along. We did just that when our baby boy was born in December. We also have a 6 year old girl who had to be introduced to the new baby without being left feeling like she was no longer as important as she once was. One very important tip I will give you which from the benefit of experience, I can tell works brilliantly is this. When your older child comes to visit, have the baby in the cradle beside the mother, not in her arm. Your child will want to cuddle it's Mother (perhaps before even looking at the new baby!) and she won't be able to do that if she has the baby in her arms. Best of luck and congratulations of course!

I agree completely. A child has been away from his or her mother for any period of time and wants to hug her straight away. When the child holds out his or her arms they dont want to hear " i cant im holding your brother/sister ". Introduce the baby slowly. The young child will more then likely be asking where the baby is anyway but that first step is dont be holding the new born. After that you should be good to go.
Congratulations.