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More anti-jokes

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  • 29-04-2006 12:49pm
    #1
    JenLorigan
    Registered Users Posts: 588 ✭✭✭


    Knock, knock.

    Who's there?

    The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband is in the hospital.

    ****

    A man walks into a pub.

    He is an alcoholic whose drink problem is destroying his family.

    ****

    Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge?

    She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly low self-esteem.

    ****

    What do you call a cat with no tail?

    A manx cat.

    ****

    Why do undertakers wear ties?

    Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

    ****

    How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb?

    One.

    ****

    Why do women fake 0rgasms?

    Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

    ****

    Two men are sitting in a pub.

    One man turns to the other and says: "Last night I saw lots of strange men coming in and out of your wife's house"

    The other man replies: "Yes, she has become a prostitute to subsidise her drug habit"

    ****

    Two cows are in a field. Suddenly, from behind a bush, a rabbit leaps out and runs away. One cow looks round a bit, eats some grass and then wanders off.

    ****

    Why are there no aspirin in the jungle?

    Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest.


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