I feel like an idiot

Easilyamused

I was at the HIM gig yesterday with a few mates, but one of them I have liked for some time, since 1st year, I'm now in 5th she's in 6th (I did TYO).

I was getting along really well with her, I was beside her the whole time, and we nearly ended up holding hands a good few times before both the support band and HIM came on stage. We ended up walking on our own a few metres behind everyone else from the Ambassador to Dame Street to get the bus.

All was going well, we were texting each-other when we got home talking about the gig, but I seem to have the problem that when I'm tired I tend to speak my mind, and came straight out and told her that I like her, I even told her that I wanted to say it to her earlier but couldn't build myself up. I then realised what I had said so sent her another one telling her of my habit of speaking my mind and to ignore the other one if she wanted. I get a reply saying "I'm glad you're honest about it It's grand, I'm cool with it"

It's one of those situations where I feel really really stupid because I know she's going to avoid me like the plague whenever I see her next, most likely school on tuesday.

Was I right, was I wrong to say what I said?

Should I just forget about it and leave it?

DOLEMAN

You'd swear you called her a c*nt!

What you said is nice, she's flattered, and there is nothing wrong with liking someone

She may not feel the same, but that's ok. That's life!

You can choose to handle this in two ways -

1. Act awkward and make an uncomfortable feeling come between you.
or...
2. Be cool about it, act nice and normal with her, and if anyone says anything to you (or if she says anything to you) be totally cool with you liking her, and admit to it in a relaxed and happy way.

You've done nothing wrong! Don't beat yourself up. It's up to her now if she returns the feelings...

But don't act weird about it and make what you said seem strange. Just act like you've done nothing wrong...because you've done nothing wrong.

/doleman speaking from experience

fuzzywiggle

Yeah I pretty much second Doleman's advice. You weren't wrong telling her that. I would have done the same if I had been getting on really well with someone and holding hands with them! Of course! Anyway just act as if it never happened, if you're awkward she'll pick up on that and will feel uncomfortable too. I doubt she'll be avoiding you because from the sounds of her text she seems, well as she said herself, cool with it! So don't worry.

Easilyamused

Cheers lads. I'm glad I said it because at least now she knows I suppose. I reckon I'll just act normal and hope for the best. I certainly don't want any awkwardness but it's to be expected I reckon.

DOLEMAN

Good stuff! If you start feeling weird in school, just remember you've done nothing wrong. If anything, what you did was courageous.

Easilyamused

DOLEMAN wrote:

Good stuff! If you start feeling weird in school, just remember you've done nothing wrong. If anything, what you did was courageous.

Cheers mate. I appreciate it

takola

Gotta agree. It takes guts to tell someone something like that! i can only do it when im drunk!!! And usually end up hiding for two weeks afterwards lol

Dont stress. Stay normal around her and enjoy it! There's nothing like the high you get from being around someone you like!

Tar.Aldarion

It's good that you told her either way. It's a great weight off...


just try to act normal as they said...

Gillo

DOLEMAN wrote:

1. Act awkward and make an uncomfortable feeling come between you.

sorry to put it bluntly but if you do this, you're gonna look like a plank. Just talk to her on tuesday and see how it goes, you'll be nervous everyone is and thats fine.

Esel

gillo wrote:

sorry to put it bluntly but if you do this, you're gonna look like a plank. Just talk to her on tuesday and see how it goes, you'll be nervous everyone is and thats fine.

I think DOLEMAN was pointing out the 'plankness' of that choice. I'm also pretty sure the OP knew that when he read it.

OP, how does one 'nearly end up holding hands a good few times'?

Anyway, everything will go OK, you'll see! It's not like you spray-painted a big love heart on the school wall or anything.

Dave!

You weren't wrong for saying it, but I gather from her not saying "ktnx i u 2" that the feeling isn't mutual. Sorry bud! That's just what I read from it, though. If you agree, then best move onto someone else.

Easilyamused

esel wrote:

I think DOLEMAN was pointing out the 'plankness' of that choice. I'm also pretty sure the OP knew that when he read it.

Yeah I guessed I'd look like a plank doing that, admittedly I would've used a different word but it's the same

OP, how does one 'nearly end up holding hands a good few times'?

We were standing there, both of us had our arms by our side, our hands kinda linked, as in they were beginning to, but then one of us would get knocked or something and they'd unlink, then the same happened a good few times.

Easilyamused

Easilyamused wrote:

We were standing there, both of us had our arms by our side, our hands kinda linked, as in they were beginning to, but then one of us would get knocked or something and they'd unlink, then the same happened a good few times.

That mightnt mean anything.
What you were thinking then and what she was thinking could have been poles apart,you just dont know.

As everyone else said act normal BUT what I think you could do is laugh about the text with her and say again that you meant it except this time face to face and see what happens.
It's not the end of the world if she's not interested,you are going to have 100's more love problems in the next 20 years probably so relax and go with the flow.

Zombrex

Easilyamused wrote:

We were standing there, both of us had our arms by our side, our hands kinda linked, as in they were beginning to, but then one of us would get knocked or something and they'd unlink, then the same happened a good few times.

I wouldn't read too much into that ... you think it meant something because you fancy her, and you were probably hyper sensative that you were rubbing up against her. If she doesn't fancy you to her she probably didn't even notice ... if what you described meant something I would be going out with half of the 9am travelers on the LUAS

But I wouldn't feel embarrashed about telling her you liked her. You fancy her, she doesn't fancy you. Them are the breaks. Don't get worked up over it, it isn't a reject or anything. You did nothing wrong, and neither did she. So hopefully it won't be weird between you.

Easilyamused

Wicknight wrote:

I wouldn't read too much into that ... you think it meant something because you fancy her, and you were probably hyper sensative that you were rubbing up against her. If she doesn't fancy you to her she probably didn't even notice ... if what you described meant something I would be going out with half of the 9am travelers on the LUAS

Aye I know that

But I wouldn't feel embarrashed about telling her you liked her. You fancy her, she doesn't fancy you. Them are the breaks. Don't get worked up over it, it isn't a reject or anything. You did nothing wrong, and neither did she. So hopefully it won't be weird between you.

I've never done anything like that before, I'm what one of my friends called yesterday "Mr. Subtlety" and he was shocked when he heard. Thinking about it I'm too lazy and sleep deprived to care anymore.

Easilyamused

I have just realised that I really should've kept my mouth shut. I was on her Bebo a few minutes ago there when I saw 2 sections, one was "happiest when: talking to friends and with that really sweet guy:) " and the other "saddest when: studying and not with that really sweet guy:( ".

Should've seen that one coming

Red Alert

Sorry, maybe it's late and I haven't read your post properly, but she never said she didn't like you.

So I would just be cool about it if I were you. The ball's in her court for the next while - see what happens.

And good man for being honest, girls do like that so i hear.

Zombrex

Easilyamused wrote:

I have just realised that I really should've kept my mouth shut. I was on her Bebo a few minutes ago there when I saw 2 sections, one was "happiest when: talking to friends and with that really sweet guy:) " and the other "saddest when: studying and not with that really sweet guy:( ".

Should've seen that one coming

I assume that means she has a fella?

Don't worry about it, you didn't know. In this big bad adult world the only way you find out if a woman wants to go out with you is to ask her (the whole my mate fancies your mate thing doesn't work much passed 14 ). And there is nothing wrong with that, if she says no she says no. Its just the way it works.

You should never think you should keep your mouth shut. You liked her, nothing wrong with that. Sure it is a bit embrassasing, you put yourself out there, but really there is nothing to be embrassased about.

Easilyamused

Red Alert wrote:

Sorry, maybe it's late and I haven't read your post properly, but she never said she didn't like you.

It seemed very much like I'm not putting you down but nothing's gonna happen. That's the impression I got

Wicknight wrote:

I assume that means she has a fella?

Maybe not has one but likes one a lot.

Don't worry about it, you didn't know. In this big bad adult world the only way you find out if a woman wants to go out with you is to ask her (the whole my mate fancies your mate thing doesn't work much passed 14 ). And there is nothing wrong with that, if she says no she says no. Its just the way it works.

I'd say it got old at 13. Yeah I know what ya mean. Ah well.

Esel

Easilyamused wrote:

I have just realised that I really should've kept my mouth shut. I was on her Bebo a few minutes ago there when I saw 2 sections, one was "happiest when: talking to friends and with that really sweet guy:) " and the other "saddest when: studying and not with that really sweet guy:( ".

Should've seen that one coming

Hey, maybe you are 'that really sweet guy'!

hullaballoo

I wouldn't rule myself out of the equation so quickly. She might not like you now, but you might be able to get her to give you a chance, and if you're able to take that chance, then things could work out well. But that's long-run.

In the mean-time, act normal like everyone else is saying and leave it up to her to make the next move. All of the interpretations that people have given you here are conjecture, and they could all be wrong. If she likes you, she'll let you know becuase she can be sure she won't get rejected. You could just as easily be "that really sweet guy" just as much as anyone else!

Tar.Aldarion

Hey, it could be you indeed. How and ever, don't take sweet guy to even mean she likes you or whoever it is.
If she ends up not liking you like that, you're not alone in that boat by any means...

GrumPy

esel wrote:

Hey, maybe you are 'that really sweet guy'!

yeah man lol!! OR she could be evil, make you think it's you, so you say something else, to embarass you ahh no, I doubt it that, just act like you normally would when you go back to school.;)

oulu

why not just ask her straight out does she fancy a date to flicks or whatever, if you speak your mind then go ahead, she might be waiting to see do u follow up your feelings she seems interested holding hands nearly so if u ask her out then the ball is in her court just do it

Faith

The first thing I thought when I read it was that the "really sweet guy" was you, OP. Why don't you think it is? It seems pretty obvious to me.

When I was younger, a guy told me straight out that he liked me and I was so shocked and flattered that I just said "Okay". He took that the wrong way and never gave me a chance to say I liked him too. Needless to say, we never got together.

Is there anyone else that you think has a high probability of being a potential love interest for her? If not, then just ask her straight out how she felt about you telling her that you like her, and is she interested. If she's not, that's fine, let it go. If she is, go for it!

takola

Faith wrote:

The first thing I thought when I read it was that the "really sweet guy" was you, OP. Why don't you think it is? It seems pretty obvious to me.

Have to admit that was my first thought when i saw it too!!!!!
I really think you should just send a message asking if she fancies going out with you?? You've already done the hard part!!! Go on!!! You may just be suprised!!

Tar.Aldarion

Aye, just ask her. It will be yes or no but you will know!

GrumPy

Boards pier pressure GET IN THERE!

DOLEMAN

You know what? And I don't want to depress the OP, but as this girl is a teenager, it's very possible the "sweet guy" is actually some asshole sleazy guy both the OP and girl know.

I'd be very careful in asking her "Am I the sweet guy?", because if you're not, she will likely tell the asshole guy, and he'll slag you off...

If you know what I mean!

You've made the first move, so I'd see what she does next... No need to take things too quickly...

Easilyamused

As much as I wish I was the sweet guy I doubt it, the only thing I've ever really done nice for her was buy her the HIM ticket and a t-shirt after. It's not because I'm scabby but because I'm broke, I'm trying to afford driving lessons.

And also of the many different words I'd use to describe myself sweet wouldn't be one of them.

LegacyUser

Easilyamused wrote:

the only thing I've ever really done nice for her was buy her the HIM ticket and a t-shirt after.

That's so sweet, I wish i had a sweet guy like you!!:D

skyhighflyer

Easilyamused wrote:

As much as I wish I was the sweet guy I doubt it, the only thing I've ever really done nice for her was buy her the HIM ticket and a t-shirt after. It's not because I'm scabby but because I'm broke, I'm trying to afford driving lessons.

And also of the many different words I'd use to describe myself sweet wouldn't be one of them.

To be honest mate, I can tell you from my own experience that you did just the right thing by telling her. It might not feel like it now, but you'll only ever regret the times you didn't ask a girl out rather than the times you did and it didn't go well.

Also you bought her a HIM ticket and a t shirt? That's a pretty damn nice thing to do.

I was recently in the same situation with a friend of mine. I'd liked her for a long time and one day when we were out for a drink I thought 'F*** it, I'm not gonna let another chance go by to tell her how I feel about her'. If I'm being honest I was pissing myself over it, as I wasn't sure she felt the same way. Turns out she did and had done for a long time. If I hadn't asked I might never have known...

So I guess the moral of the story is - don't leave it to chance. Ask. You did - and trust me even if things don't happen with u guys this time round you won't regret your decision to tell her.

Best of luck m8

deltablaze

That was quite a nice thing to do, to buy her the ticket and t-shirt.

"And also of the many different words I'd use to describe myself sweet wouldn't be one of them."

Aye, but you must remember girls can see you in a different way! If I were you I'd just ask her out, see what happens. You seem a nice guy and from my experience, I remember when I once asked a girl out, it went pear shaped, but you meet other friends, other people. So yeah, go for it! Try your luck! And besides, if you're her friend I'd say you have a good idea of who she thinks is the 'sweet guy', I think it's you IMO.

deltablaze

skyhighflyer wrote:

To be honest mate, I can tell you from my own experience that you did just the right thing by telling her. It might not feel like it now, but you'll only ever regret the times you didn't ask a girl out rather than the times you did and it didn't go well.

Also you bought her a HIM ticket and a t shirt? That's a pretty damn nice thing to do.

I was recently in the same situation with a friend of mine. I'd liked her for a long time and one day when we were out for a drink I thought 'F*** it, I'm not gonna let another chance go by to tell her how I feel about her'. If I'm being honest I was pissing myself over it, as I wasn't sure she felt the same way. Turns out she did and had done for a long time. If I hadn't asked I might never have known...

So I guess the moral of the story is - don't leave it to chance. Ask. You did - and trust me even if things don't happen with u guys this time round you won't regret your decision to tell her.

Best of luck m8

Yeah, I know what you mean. From my experience if you drag it out you won't meet other people, other possibilities, because you're focusing on the one girl.

GrumPy

Yep, you'll regret not asking her, even if it goes wrong, its an experience, and you'd be more pissed off if you never did anything more.

Easilyamused

Irish GrumPy wrote:

Yep, you'll regret not asking her, even if it goes wrong, its an experience, and you'd be more pissed off if you never did anything more.

To be honest I'm pretty shy so even saying I like her was huge, and I only went through with it because I wasn't thinking. I'll see how things go tomorrow and if they seem well I may ask her out, I'll let ya's know how it goes.

Cheers everyone.

E

Faith

From what I've read, I'd describe you as sweet. The whole shyness, the nearly holding hands bit, the confessing to liking her... That all adds up to sweet.

Easilyamused

I've been talking to her and it was brought up and she said she liked me and we're talking about it now, I'm still kinda in a shocked state at the moment but thanks to everyone who replied.

I really didn't expect this

Red Alert

That's just super! Enjoy!

deltablaze

Easilyamused wrote:

I've been talking to her and it was brought up and she said she liked me and we're talking about it now, I'm still kinda in a shocked state at the moment but thanks to everyone who replied.

I really didn't expect this

Sweet, keep us updated!!

Faith

Aw, I love happy endings

takola

Yay!!!!!! Thats great news!!!!

Tar.Aldarion

Hey, good stuff man!
Worked out much better for you than for me.
Good luck.

deltablaze

Bet 'ya don't feel like such an idiot now, huh?

oulu

Delighted for you enjoy it now the fun begins,

Easilyamused

deltablaze wrote:

Bet 'ya don't feel like such an idiot now, huh?

Yeah not so much. I was barely talking to her today as I left for a race just before the start of school. Cheers for all your help.

skyhighflyer

Easilyamused wrote:

Yeah not so much. I was barely talking to her today as I left for a race just before the start of school. Cheers for all your help.

That's cool man. Just make sure not to lose momentum - bring her out somewhere - sooner rather than later!

michaela

Easilyamused wrote:

I have just realised that I really should've kept my mouth shut. I was on her Bebo a few minutes ago there when I saw 2 sections, one was "happiest when: talking to friends and with that really sweet guy:) " and the other "saddest when: studying and not with that really sweet guy:( ".

Should've seen that one coming

i defo rekon tha u r "that reli sweet guy"!!!!! well its tuesday now so am gessin uv bin 2 skl so how did it go?????????? cmon fill us all all in soon

Easilyamused

michaela wrote:

i defo rekon tha u r "that reli sweet guy"!!!!! well its tuesday now so am gessin uv bin 2 skl so how did it go?????????? cmon fill us all all in soon

Easilyamused wrote:

I've been talking to her and it was brought up and she said she liked me and we're talking about it now, I'm still kinda in a shocked state at the moment but thanks to everyone who replied.

I really didn't expect this

Nevyn

Can we pelase cut out the text speak please you have a full keyboard use it.
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Thaedydal