Departed pets;

Calibos

We lost or beloved 13yo Butch the giant of a Westie on Monday night. He was diagnosed with a large mass on the spleen first week of January. He was booked in for a splenectomy 5 days after diagnosis. Unfortunately it burst the day after diagnosis. Luckily I knew what signs to look out for having read up on line and we rushed him to the Vet and the amazing Vets had performed the operation literally an hour or so after the bleed.

There was no sign of any metastasis on any of the visible organs and we hoped against hope that it would turn out to be a benign Hemangioma for which a splenectomy is curative. However when we got the histology results back a week later it turned out to be a malignant Hemangiosarcoma. Its a very malignant cancer of the blood vessels and by the time its symptomatic in a dog its already metastasized. Prognosis can be as short as a few days all the way out to a year. Vet was cautiously optimistic that we might be lucky and see Butch survive 6 months to a year seeing as there was no sign of metastasis during the operation though we knew microscopic metastasis had already likely occured. ie. if any metastasis is only starting to grow now and if it goes to the liver next which is an organ that can lose 70% of function before it shuts down, Butch might have even made it to his 14th Birthday in November.

Butch recovered amazingly well and quickly from this major operation and was like a puppy again now that this large mass on his spleen that had been compressing all his organs was removed. Much more spring to his step on walks, Bounding and playing with his step sister and brother Cassie and Dexter and eating like a horse again.

7 weeks after the operation we brought him to the Vet with a minor skin infection. We wanted to deal with it as quickly as possible as without a spleen an animal can be immunocompromised. He vomited and was unwell on Saturday but because he looked somewhat different to how he looked when the Splenic mass burst back in January and because his gums were not white and because the antibiotic he was prescribed mentioned nausea as a side effect, we assumed thats all this was. He settled a few hours later and slept the whole night and was right as rain Sunday morning. Enjoyed his food and walks both Sunday and Monday.

However, on Monday night he vomited and looked miserable again. We assumed this might play out like Saturday and it was just the anti-b's. However when he continued to vomit I checked his gums and this time they were white. I knew something major was up. Rushed him into UCD at midnight. He was sinking fast. The UCD vet quickly diagnosed that unfortunately the site of next metastasis had been his heart and had burst and bled into his pericardium, the sac around the heart. She said the episode on Saturday rather than nausea from the anti-b was actually a minor bleed and that Mondays was it bursting again and a major bleed. She recommended he be PTS. Absolutely heart breaking decision. I'd read that this can be drained with a large needle but will keep bursting again sometimes days (like this time) sometime weeks apart and/or operation to put a stent in the pericardium but when prognosis is so poor regardless of what one does never mind the fact that the next site of metastasis could be the lungs, brain or liver. If the heart is the location for the first Hemangiosarcoma then it can sometimes be worth trying this avenue as the spleen is the reservoir of 20% of a dogs blood volume and white blood cells. However, if the dog has already had a splenectomy for Hemangiosarcoma it no longer has this reservoir of blood to rely on when the hemangiosarcoma metastasizes and causes bleeds from other organs. Its often for ourselves rather than the best interests of the dogs that people proceed with that course of action. We decided to let him go. With the Splenectomy we had already bought him and ourselves a much shorter than we hoped but marvellous nonetheless 7 more weeks of a renewed puppy-like Butch.

This brings to a close the era of Butch and Sundance. Two Westie littermate bro's we got as pups in 2004. We lost Sundance 4 years ago in February 2013 (to the day before Butch!!) to Pancreatitus. That was more of a shock to the system because it seemed more sudden and there were more questions than answers and he was in severe pain and we had to make the decision to PTS so fast. Also the fact that it seemed so unfair that we were losing him so young before his time. It sent me into a year long depression and triggered GAD in me that I have to this day. Its like Butch heard me say back then that I'd be happy if we got him to 13, 4 years longer than Sunny. That I'd be more able to accept Butches death no matter the cause if I felt he lived a long enough life. His final gift to me was he lasted those 4 more years......to the day!! (OK, Bawling my eyes out again typing that)

I'm definitely coping a lot better with Butch's death than I did with Sunny's. Absolutely not an iota less love for Butch than Sunny but with Butch, we got him to 13, old age for any dog and the amazing extra 7 weeks we had with him after his Terminal diagnosis gave us time to partially pre-grieve and come to terms with the possibility he's pass sooner or later at some point this year. People who've been through this disease with their dogs have often said that the renewed puppyness and 'apparent' health after the splenectomy for Hemangiosarcoma is a blessing and a curse. ie. they're thrilled to see the dog happy and enjoying life but always tinged with sadness in their head because they know this could be shortlived and the poor dog doesn't know what the owner knows is coming. I wouldn't give up that 7 weeks for the world though. It was a gift. Butch and Sunny's whole lives were a gift. I miss them both.

Right so, I'm off to give their step brother and sister, Dexter the 3yo Westie and Cassidy the 10yo Shih-Tsu a huge hug. The love is worth the pain.

Irish Stones

Calibos wrote: »

We lost or beloved 13yo Butch the giant of a Westie on Monday night.
[...]
Right so, I'm off to give their step brother and sister, Dexter the 3yo Westie and Cassidy the 10yo Shih-Tsu a huge hug. The love is worth the pain.

Calibos, I have cut your long but touching post and reduced to the most important lines.
I 'm so sorry for Butch, you sure have gone a long distance in the care of your dog, not everybody would have done what you did, believe me.
Sometimes things don't go as planned, I can tell you that from experience, I am currently going through a living nightmare myself, I know how you feel, the shattered hopes et all.
What has stricken me the most is your last line, the love is worth the pain. How right you are!
Tears are flowing from my eyes, RIP Butch!

Autosport

Autosport wrote: »

My baby is at the vets tonight but tomorrow morning I make the trip and hold him while he goes to sleep. I knew this day would come but I didn't think gastrointestist would make him so weak. Can't cope

Well Max crossed over to rainbow bridge this morning at 11am, at 20 years of age he lived a great life and now no more pain or suffering, I miss him

TopTec

20! What a brilliant age......

TT

Gael23

I was in a supermarket over the weekend and I walked right into Andys favourite treats, Pedigree Dentastix on a big special offer shelf. Hit me right in the wrong place. Just one of those moments I get every now and then.

I still feel sad when I see Trill on the shelf in the supermarket - even though my last two budgies didn't die, I gave them away, but I did give them away after Yellow died at 12 years of age.

Irish Stones

One week ago, at this time, Lola went to the Rainbow Bridge and left me in my deep desperation.
She was nearly 17 yo, it should have been 17 if she had lived to May 15th.

She was diagnosed with an oral squamous carcinoma in last October, I had found something strange in her mouth around September 20th, but the vets on that same day told me that it was just an inflammation in her mouth and that I was unnecessarily worried. Unfortunately my fears were right and they were wrong.

Lola was just successfully coming out from a heavy surgery for removing an adrenal gland that had gone crazy a few months before and was causing her a tremendous disease that could have taken her to death. We were still celebrating this success when we had this hard and terrible news.

After discovering the oral carcinoma Lola underwent a long course of chemotherapy and a week of radiation therapy. At first these two things seemed to be working fine, the mass was reducing. But I knew it coudn't be a long-lasting happiness and as weeks went by things went up and down weekly and I was on a roller coaster every single day. I would wake up to a happy and lively Lola and later in the day she was feeling bad, or the other way round. Or she could have two or three bad days and then she was happy and full of life for two or three weeks.

More than once since December it seemed to me that her time was over and I tried to get ready to her last day with me, but everytime she would bounce back to a lively and happy life.

Things started going very bad when in mid-February her tongue went necrotic and the vet had to remove half of it. Lola was left with only the rear half of her tongue, she wasn't able to drink or eat on her own anymore. I had to be her tongue, I had to have her drink with a syringe as many times a day as possible, I had to syringe feed her too at least three times a day and give her at least her minimum calories requirement for the day, and not always I was able to, because she would feel sick and didn't want to eat.

The necrosis wasn't stopping and was slowly eroding her tongue tissues. She was fine, lively, alert and happy. She would keep exploring the house, following me around, scratching her post, purring at me and curling up on my lap. She also would take a walk in the courtyard when the weather allowed her to. She was doing exactly the same things that she used to do, except eating and drinking.
Well, sometimes she would visit her water bowl and try to drink, but rather than licking the water surface she would bite and chew the water.

The tumor was growing again, I could see it, I could feel it. Her tongue was shorter and shorter by the day because of the erosion. On a morning I realised that she wasn't able to swallow her syringed food any longer, she was in difficulty. Was it too a short tongue or something in her throat?
I got in touch with the vets to see whether an E-tube was a valid option and they agreed. Lola was lively and wasn't showing any other symptoms or distress, so it would have been unfair to starve her.

Lola underwent this surgery as well, it was Tuesday, March 28th. During the surgery things went slightly wrong, I was warned of it prior to the operation. They thought they were going to lose her on the operating table, but later on Lola recovered to nearly full energy and 24 hours later she was able to be discharged. We came back home and had to follow a new normality, the food had to be sent down that tube in her neck.
We weren't new to this way of feeding, Lola had a PEG (a stomach tube) placed during the radiation therapy to allow her to be fed even with the burnings of the radiations. But after four weeks that tube came off on its own, luckily enough Lola proved to be able to eat on her own again.

The experience with the E-tube was shortly lived, I was able to feed Lola this way only three times. On Thursday, March 30th, as usual I came back home from work during my lunch break to give Lola her midday meal. She had thrown up all her morning meal while I was away, she wasn't in a good condition, but she tried to walk and climb to the window sill to bask in the sun.
She has always been feeling cold, since she was much younger. She always loved to stay in the sun or next to a warmth source. I gave Lola her meal, but she threw it up after a few minutes and started feeling weak and tired. She fell on her side, I felt it was time... I had been preparing myself to this for weeks, but I wasn't ready yet. You are never ready for such a thing!

I called my wife at work but she wasn't able to be home soon, so while I was waiting for her I spent my last hours with Lola and talked to her to let her know that she had been my great love, my pride, my life. I told her I would never forget her and not to be afraid of what was going to happen, not to be afraid to be parted from me because I will be with her again very soon.
Lola was very weak, but she also wanted to walk around and go outside and lay in the sun.

My wife arrived, she agreed that it was time to let her go. We called the vet who arrived one hour later. I had four hours in all with her before he arrived.
A last greet, a last kiss, a last cuddle and the last promise we will meet soon, then Lola slowly fell asleep and after a few seconds she was at the Bridge.

Lola was cremated two days later in a private cremation, I have had her ashes in little urn that I have stored along with other 4 of them.

My desperation is total. Lola had been sick so often in the past months, and she had been hospitalised several times, she hadn't been home for a total of 40 days in the last 11 months. It seems to me that she's just away for a therapy and she'll be soon home again.
I keep seeing her in many of her favourite spots. Sometimes I look for her when I don't see her in her bed. One night I woke up and I thought I didn't give Lola the meds she needed before going to bed, then I realised that no more meds were needed.
When I close my eyes I see her last few hours with me, waiting for the end, I cannot believe it is true.

My daily routine has been upset. My routine, for many years, since her first nose cancer in 2011, was up from bed at 6 am, getting myself sorted, starting with her morning therapies, a nebulizer session to clean her nose, cleaning the place where Lola had slept, washing the bowls, scooping her litter tray, warming up her wet food, feeding her, making sure that she was alright and finally going out to work without having breakfast because I had no time for it. At my luch break I used to come back home, check on her and her feline friend Pallina, give her the meds if needed, clean her nose and go back to work without eating anything because my time was over. After work I would rush home, see if everything was fine, clean her nose, scoop the litter tray, spent some quality time with Lola until my dinner was ready, watch the TV together, clean her nose and go to bed. Every second or third day was a sub-q day.

Now I have so much spare time, I feel overwhelmed by the spare time, I still can't understand why I have so much spare time and can't figure it out how to use it.
I was used to have no time for me, I would have done the same things for my whole life, I was doing them out of love for Lola.
I devoted my whole life to her, she was my first thought in the morning, almost the only one during the day, the last one before sleeping at night. And I am sure I was her only thought. She was with me always, at my feet when I was around the house, on my lap when I was at the table or on the couch to watch the TV, outside the bathroom door crying to call me out. We had our way of communicating, Lola was very talkative, I could ask her questions and get a proper answer. She always let me know what she needed. I was her only point of interest in her world and life. She wanted me next to her when she was eating. she let me do any kind of therapy to her. I could give her injections, pills, tablets, drops, nebulizing and much more without complaining. She let me kiss her on her mouth and I could walk her on the street on her leash.

When I lost my Tom in September 2013 I felt I had to do something to honour him. He was such a generous cat, he would give love to everybody and would offer his own food to the feral cats that happened to walk across our courtyard. In memory of his generousity I subscribed to a monthly donation to two different charities for humans, one of these is UNHCR.
I feel that I have to do something similar to honour Lola's devotion and love which were enormous.

Her friend Pallina is a little lost and disoriented. They never got along even after 15 years together, but it's clear that something or someone is missing in her daily life.

My heart has been split in two, half of it has gone with Lola, the other half is shattered in so many tiny pieces.

Don't worry Lola, I'm here, thinking of you every minute of every day. We'll be together again soon!
 

Lola on her timber stair to help her reach the window sill

aonb

wow Lola was a very attractive girl.
You have done hundreds of times more for Lola than anyone could have expected. You have really been so invested in her maintenance and health that Im not surprised you're feeling so disorientated. You have been so very good to her if there is such a thing as Karma, you will be repaid in bucketloads. Take care of yourself, sending your good thoughts and very best wishes.

Fred Swanson

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Gremlinertia

Oh my jesus. :mad: Can't believe that *hugs* Fcuk i'm so sorry.

Aglomerado

Oh Fred that's terrible! Sending you hugs..:(

CrowdedHouse

I'm in shock

My sympathies to you.

The fcuker that did that should get jail

Ms Doubtfire1

Fred Swanson wrote: »

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OMG how horrible is that...so so sorry for your loss. May the s****g who did this rot in hell forever.

Autosport

What the f***?

I'm so sorry for your loss

Fakediamond

I'm so sorry for your loss Fred, what a shocking blow.

Fred Swanson

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JamboMac

Fred Swanson wrote: »

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Would you have a clue who did this and have you reported it. People who start with animal's wouldn't be far from picking out humans eventually. The fear that these people walk around.

These are the only instances i hope their is a hell.

muddypaws

I am so, so sorry for your poor dogs and the rest of your family. Its so hard to imagine that there are people who do this kind of thing.

Take care of yourself

Irish Stones

That's absolutely shocking!
Any clue who could have been? Do you have neighbours? Has anybody ever let you understand that your dogs were a problem for them?
I'm shocked!
RIP poor angels!

Fred Swanson

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StaticNoise

Thoughts are most certainly with you at this difficult time. Truly horrendous to see and hear about. Honestly, deepest sympathies to you.

I hope something comes of this and the line of enquiry produces results. Do keep us in the loop on how things go.

Thoughts are with you

kylith

Oh my goodness Fred, I'm so sorry to hear about that. Please take care of yourself.

Also, just a thought, but take extra care when locking up your house. I've heard that thieves will sometimes target any dogs in the house before attempting to break in so that they can't disturb them or raise an alarm.


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I had to say goodbye to Tegan two years ago today. I still miss that hairball.

finno

Last night i had to make one of the hardest decision i had to make and
put Mya to sleep. heart broken, loved her so much

jellybear

Awh she's so beautiful. Sleep tight Mya x

Fakediamond

Sorry to hear that finno, it's a heartbreaking decision.

AndrewJRenko

finno wrote: »

Last night i had to make one of the hardest decision i had to make and
put Mya to sleep. heart broken, loved her so much

What beautiful smiles! Sorry for your loss.

Fred Swanson

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Irish Stones

Mya was a real beauty, she had a happy smile, I'm so sorry that you lost such a wonderful friend.
Rip Mya!

finno

Thank you all for the kind messages.
We received her ashes back yesterday
so she is back home now.

santasbird

I had to say goodbye to my best friend today. My wonderful loving dog Lucky aged 18 and half years. She was just the sweetest dog. Im heartbroken. RIP Lucky sleep well.