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Tae a fart

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  • 17-05-2006 1:22am
    #1
    Oriel
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 5,154 ✭✭✭


    The other toilet thread reminded me of this one. I remember reading it on the internet about 6 years ago.

    (To be spoken in a Scottish accent)


    "Oh whit a sleekit horrible beastie
    Lurks in yer belly efter the feastie
    Jist as ye sit doon among yer kin
    There sterts tae stir an enormous win'

    The neeps 'n' tatties 'n' mushy peas
    Stert workin' like a gentle breeze
    But soon the puddin' wi' the sauncie face
    Will hae ye blawin' a' ower the place

    Nae maiter whit the hell ye dae
    A'bodys gonnae hiv tae pay
    Even if ye try tae stifle
    It's like a bullet oot a rifle

    Hawd yer bum ticht tae the chair
    Tae try an' stop the leakin' air
    Shify yersel fae cheek tae cheek
    Prae tae God it disnae reek

    But aw yer efforts go assunder
    Oot it comes like a clap o' thunder
    Ricochets aroon the room
    Michty me a sonic boom

    God almichty it fairly reeks
    Hope a huvnae s**t ma breeks
    Tae the bog a better scurry
    Aw whit the hell, it's no ma worry

    A'body roon aboot me chokin
    Wan or twa are nearly bokin
    A'll feel better for a while
    Cannae help but raise a smile

    Wis him! A shout wi' accusin glower
    Alas too late, he's jist keeled ower
    Ye dirty bugger they shout and stare
    A dinnae feel welcome ony mair

    Where e'er ye be let yer wind gang free
    Sounds like jist the job fur me
    Whit a fuss at Rabbie's party
    Ower the sake o' wan wee farty"

    S.


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