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Post an unfunny joke here

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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 132 ✭✭Crubeens


    Q. Whats green and smells of ****e?

    A. Kermit's arse


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 132 ✭✭Crubeens


    Q. Whats green and smells of ****e?

    A. Kermit's arse

    Thought if I put an 'e' on the end of '****' then it wouldn't be deemed a curse


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,687 ✭✭✭Dun laoire


    What's red white and moans alot?


    Women on the 28th


  • Registered Users Posts: 382 ✭✭Trip Hazard


    What has four legs and flies?



    A dead Horse




    What do you call an old man in a sailor suit?



    An Old Sailor


  • Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 91,905 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    Why is the sand wet ?

    Because the seaweed.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 1,687 ✭✭✭Dun laoire


    What did one testicle say to the other?

    Nothin, they where talkin boll1x


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,087 ✭✭✭Duiske


    A baby seal walks into a club..........


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,447 ✭✭✭evil_seed


    Duiske_Lad wrote:
    A baby seal walks into a club..........
    i like it


  • Registered Users Posts: 21,611 ✭✭✭✭Sam Vimes


    What has four legs and flies?



    A dead Horse
    i'm ashamed to say it took me a second to get that


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,326 ✭✭✭Zapp Brannigan


    What do you call a blackman who flies a plane....








    A Pilot, you racist.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 199 ✭✭Jabbathegut


    What's white and cant climb trees?
    A Fridge


    Why did the little girl fall off the swings?
    She had no arms.


  • Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 91,905 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    Did you hear about the magician who was walking down O'Connell Street ?

    He went into Henry Street.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,356 ✭✭✭Donegal Lass


    whats pink and fluffy?





    ............pink fluff!!


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,731 ✭✭✭11811


    A bear walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a gin.........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................and tonic,
    Barman replies"why the big paws"



    Whats brown and if it falls from a tree can kill you?
    A pianio.:D


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    Police caught 2 teens- one was drinking battery acid and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.


  • Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 91,905 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    Whats the difference between a duck and some grass ?

    They are both green, apart from the duck.


  • Registered Users Posts: 9,248 ✭✭✭Plug


    Why did the turtle cross the road?...to get to the shell station

    How do you confuse a kerry man? put him in a round room and tell him there's E50 in the corner.

    Kerry man's latest invention? a solar powered torch.

    What,s the difference between Jesus and a painting of him? It only takes 1 nail to hang the painting.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,687 ✭✭✭Dun laoire


    What does the pakistani woman and myself have in common?


    We both have big issues


  • Registered Users Posts: 9,248 ✭✭✭Plug


    Dun laoire wrote:
    What does the pakistani woman and myself have in common?


    We both have big issues
    Good one:D


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,687 ✭✭✭Dun laoire


    What smells worse than a guinness fart?


    Two guinness farts in quick succession.


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  • Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 91,905 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    Two ducks flying over Norn Iron

    One says to the other 'quack, quack'

    And the other one says 'I canna go any quacker'


  • Registered Users Posts: 9,248 ✭✭✭Plug


    Why did the dog coss the road?
    Cause he felt like it.

    What's black, white and red al over?
    A new's paper.

    What's green, red and trown in a corner?
    An injured snot.


  • Registered Users Posts: 697 ✭✭✭the Shades


    Why do ducks have webbed feet?

    To stamp out fires.

    Why do elephants have flat feet?

    To stamp out burning ducks.


  • Registered Users Posts: 9,248 ✭✭✭Plug


    What has wheel's and can move? A car.
    What do you call a man talking to a women? A man talking to a women.
    What's round and invisible? an eaten button.
    Where are your manner's? Down the road picking up sh!t.
    Bah bom bom dish!


  • Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 91,905 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    Knock Knock...


    Come in the door is open.


  • Registered Users Posts: 9,248 ✭✭✭Plug


    Knock knock
    who's there?
    Pat
    Pat who?
    Pat musterd


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 15 flano1


    What did Hitler say to his men before they got into their tanks?



    "Get into your tanks"


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 15 flano1


    What did the sea say to the shore?

    Nothing, it just waved.



    What did the sea say to the shore?

    "Cabbage"


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 15 flano1


    A blonde is having a drink at a bar when a man approaches her. Suddenly, and for no reason, they man flies into a rage and whips the girl bloody using his belt.


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  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    flano1 wrote:
    A blonde is having a drink at a bar when a man approaches her. Suddenly, and for no reason, they man flies into a rage and whips the girl bloody using his belt.

    ... is that the punchline?

    Bada-bum-tish


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