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Post an unfunny joke here

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    #62
    Plug
    Registered Users Posts: 9,248 ✭✭✭Plug


    Did you here why the little man is sewing the welly company?
    Cause anytime he walked they were cutting the hole off him.


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    #63
    flano1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 15 ✭flano1


    Deleted User wrote:
    ... is that the punchline?

    Bada-bum-tish

    Yeah, they're supposed to be unfunny! :p


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    #64
    Plug
    Registered Users Posts: 9,248 ✭✭✭Plug


    Exactly:D
    bah bom bom tish!


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    #65
    Capt'n Midnight
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 91,905 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    Why was 6 afraid of 7?
    It may very well be because 7 was a prime number, and tended to run with a bad crowd. I'm not entirely certain.


    A priest, a Rabbi and an Imam go to a park.
    They do not associate with one another.


    Okay, so this string and a duck walk into the bar.
    The string orders a beer and tells the bartender to pour it into a mug. The duck asks if they have any grapes. The bartender pours the string a mug and hands the duck some grapes.



    What did Delaware?
    Gramatically, this question does not make sense, and does not necessitate an answer.


    Why is Italy shaped like a boot?
    Because when pangea actually separated from the movement of the tectonic plates over millions of years, it left it shaped like that.



    Do you know why cops eat in donut shops?
    Because they are the only places open and serving food at 5:00 am.


    What's big and red and eats rocks.
    A big red rock eater.



    Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling?
    Because he is a self-actuated, very centered and spiritual person, who loves life.



    Why did God invent beer?
    He didn't invent beer! You religious freaks really need to get a grip.


    what's the most confusing day in mexico?
    A couple of weeks ago 100,000 people marched through mexico city protesting judicial activity against the mayor. Traffic was a bitch.


    How many women on PMS does it take to change a lightbulb?
    While it only takes one, a loving spouse may offer to do the job for her.


    Two Irish guys walk past a bar......
    HEY, it could happen!

    What does a clock do when it’s hungry?
    It goes back four seconds.


    What's white and spits?
    A tough refrigerator


    What would you call Mike Tyson if he had no arms and no legs?
    An ear-biting rapist. That stuff follows you, man.


    Why do ducks have webbed feet?
    they would starve to death if they had webbed mouthes.



    Why did the toilet always win when playing poker?
    He cheats



    Q: What's the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?
    A: s'no difference.



    What does Miss Piggy have if she has one green ball in her left hand and one green ball in her right hand?
    The Beginners Juggling Video


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    #66
    Plug
    Registered Users Posts: 9,248 ✭✭✭Plug


    If you had a few "cough"fags"cough" you'd be in the ball's laughing right now:D


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    #67
    hiscan
    Registered Users Posts: 1,105 ✭✭✭hiscan


    Deleted User wrote:
    Police caught 2 teens- one was drinking battery acid and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
    maybe they were afraid the first one might start something


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    #68
    Plug
    Registered Users Posts: 9,248 ✭✭✭Plug


    Why did the dog kill the cat?
    Cause it was bored.


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    #69
    wb
    Registered Users Posts: 1,752 ✭✭✭wb


    Why did Cadburys invent white chocolate?

    So black kids could get messy too.


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    #70
    Dun laoire
    Registered Users Posts: 1,687 ✭✭✭Dun laoire


    Whats the difference between an irish wedding and an irish funeral?

    Much the same except in a funeral you have a corpse in the middle of the room.


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    #71
    im...LOST
    Registered Users Posts: 1,784 ✭✭✭im...LOST


    A dyslexic man walks into a bra.........


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    #72
    Chong
    Registered Users Posts: 8,676 ✭✭✭Chong


    Why did the Pervert cross the road?







    To Fcuk the Chicken.


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    #73
    biko
    Registered Users Posts: 81,220 ✭✭✭✭biko


    Why do undertakers wear ties?
    Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

    How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb?
    One.

    Two cows are in a field. Suddenly, from behind a bush, a rabbit leaps out and runs away.
    One cow looks round a bit, eats some grass and then wanders off.

    Why are there no aspirin in the jungle?
    Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest.


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    #74
    kent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 84 ✭✭kent


    what's big, loud, smelly and doesn't sink?


    noah's ark


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    #75
    Plug
    Registered Users Posts: 9,248 ✭✭✭Plug


    Did you here about the crash?

    It's terrible


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    #76
    wb
    Registered Users Posts: 1,752 ✭✭✭wb


    What does DNA stand for?


    The National Dyslexic Association


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    #77
    county
    Registered Users Posts: 6,800 ✭✭✭county


    What''s black and white, black and brown, and black and black?

    A nun roasting on a spit!


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    #78
    Liffeyman
    Registered Users Posts: 144 ✭✭Liffeyman


    How do you get a fat girl into bed




    A piece of cake


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    #79
    RE*AC*TOR
    Registered Users Posts: 7,482 ✭✭✭RE*AC*TOR


    What's the worst thing about having sex with children?
    Wiping the blood off your clown costume.


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    #80
    county
    Registered Users Posts: 6,800 ✭✭✭county


    RE*AC*TOR wrote:
    What's the worst thing about having sex with children?
    Wiping the blood off your clown costume.
    you should be ashamed of yourself:D


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    #81
    Dun laoire
    Registered Users Posts: 1,687 ✭✭✭Dun laoire


    Whats big blue has four wheels and has a fat fcuk3r sittin in it that keeps wrecking my head?

    The delivery driver who i've told 100 times before to stop coming between 1 and 2 cause i'm having my lunch.


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    #82
    kent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 84 ✭✭kent


    how do you sell a chicken to a deaf man? .... say

    "OI! ... DO YOU WANT TO BUY A CHICKEN?"


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    #83
    grimsbymatt
    Closed Accounts Posts: 305 ✭✭grimsbymatt


    What's the difference between David Bellamy and Terry Wogan?


    They've both got a beard, except for Terry Wogan.


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    #84
    shnaek
    Registered Users Posts: 1,172 ✭✭✭shnaek


    Q: Why did the bald man cut holes in his pockets?

    A: It wasn't on purpose. Through the course of natural
    friction, his keys wore through the innards of the
    pockets. Being bald, on top of this, is
    inconsequential.


    Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a
    lightbulb?

    A: It shouldn't take more than one person to do this
    task, regardless of hair color.


    Q: What's the difference between George W Bush and a
    doorknob?

    A: George W Bush is the president of the United
    States. A doorknob is a mechanical device that
    securely closes a hinged door, thereby keeping your
    family safe from danger.


    Q: How do you get 500 midgets into a Volkswagon?

    A: You have to manufacture a Volkswagon large enough
    to accomidate 500 midgets. It wouldn't be
    street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 500
    midgets into a Volkswagon is solved.


    An Irishman walks into a bar. He walked up to the
    bartender. The bartender asks "Whadda want, ya'
    curs-ed Irish lush?" The Irishman blinked twice, then
    pulled out a notepad and wrote something in it. The
    bartender asked "Whaddya writing, ya damned green
    foot?" The Irishman, with a tear in his eye, held up
    the notepad revealing the words "I may be Irish, but I
    still have feelings." The bartender looked down, then
    exclaimed, "You're right, this world would be a better
    place if we all just love a little more." The two
    became best friends.


    Q: What did the rug say to the carpet?

    A: Nothing, neither can talk. If they could talk,
    hypothetically, they would probably talk about the
    state of our nation and how to improve things.


    Q: What did the hobo get for Christmas?

    A: NOTHING!


    A man was in a bar all day and he had to use the
    bathroom. He was in there for a while, yelling, so the
    barmaid reluctantly went to the bathroom to check on
    him.
    "Sir, what are you yelling about? You're scaring the
    customers."

    "I was just trying to get attention through shocking
    others. I'm sorry, I think I'll go home and rethink
    what's important in my life. Pardon my childishness."

    The barmaid granted that pardon and she went back to
    work.


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