Frogs.

Capt'n Midnight

The police recently busted a man selling "secret formula" tablets he claimed gave eternal youth. When going through their files they noticed it was the fifth time he was caught for committing this same criminal medical fraud.
He had previously been arrested in 1983, 1928, 1856 and 1794.


Many years ago two frogs were sitting around discussing ways to improve condoms.
Suddenly one came up with a great idea: "ribbit"


How many frogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Only one
But you need 37 light bulbs, slippery hands, ya know.



What's green and jumps?
A frog!!



What's green and dangerous?
A frog with a hand-grenade.


What kind of shoes do frogs wear?
Open toad!


What happened to the frog's car when his parking expired?
It got toad!!



Jim Finn, the noted biologist, was stumped. He'd spent months studying the little green frogs in the Keefo swamp. The population, despite all efforts at predator control, was declining at an alarming rate.

Finally, Finn went to the chemistry department at his college to see if anyone there might be able to help. Tom Trom looked into the problem, and came up with a solution. The little frogs had succumbed to a chemical change in the swamp's water, and simply couldn't stay coupled long enough to reproduce. Tom brewed up a new adhesive, made from a dash of this, a zoss of that, and most critically, one part sodium.

"You mean?.... " Jim said when told.
"Yes," said Tom, "They needed mono-sodium glue to mate."



It seems there were two frogs sitting on a lily pad, when all of a sudden, a fly came along. One frog put out his tongue, ate the fly, and started laughing hysterically. Soon the other frog joined in the laughter.

Later in the day, the other frog ate a fly and the two frogs burst out in laughter. As time went on, the frogs enjoyed the flies so much that the sight of a fly would cause them to double up with pleasure (if it's possible for frogs to double up!). But of course, the most pleasure came when the fly was actually eaten.

A third frog hopped up to the first two and asked what was so funny. The first frog answered "Time." "Huh?" asked the third frog. The second frog explained:

"Time's fun when you're having flies."



A little girl walks up to her grandfather and says: "Grandpa, can you make a sound like a frog?" Grandpa says: "Honey, why do you want me to do that?"
And the little girls says: "Well, Daddy said that when you croak, we all get to go to Disney World!"


"A new study shows that licking the sweat off a frog can cure depression. The down side is, the minute you stop licking, the frog gets depressed again." - Jay Leno

Karoma

/croaks

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

What's green, slimy and tastes milky?
Frognog

Two frogs sitting on a lily pad, one says "ribbit"
The other says, "you know, I was just gonna say that...."

Hagar

Nice work Capt'n. This first was the funniest.

jobonar

What's green and dangerous?
A frog with a hand-grenade.

I dont know why i laughed but i did!