Depression

LegacyUser

Long story short I have been depressed for the past 3 or 4 years. It has got to the point that I cannot enjoy myself at all anymore. In the beginning I was depressed but was always able to enjoy certain things(music, movies, etc.) but now I can't even do that. What can I do to change this? Keep in mind that telling my family is not an option for personal reasons.

Muggy Dev

Hi,

contact these people as soon as you can.here is the link:

http://www.aware.ie/

Don't worry.

Bye

X-SL

what about telling friends?

Wurly

Why arent you on medication??

ST*

depressed24 wrote:

Long story short I have been depressed for the past 3 or 4 years. It has got to the point that I cannot enjoy myself at all anymore. In the beginning I was depressed but was always able to enjoy certain things(music, movies, etc.) but now I can't even do that. What can I do to change this? Keep in mind that telling my family is not an option for personal reasons.

Go to your doctor as soon as you can. Advise him / her how you have been feeling. If your doctor feels that you are depressed, he / she will put you on anti-depressants, and prepare a referral letter to a mental health professional. This may seem daunting to you, but it is the best thing if you cannot speak with family members about your personal matters. It is a great weight off your shoulders just to be able to sit down, and chat away to attentive, and unbiased ears.

Best of luck OP.

fuzzywiggle

Tri wrote:

Why arent you on medication??

Medication isn't always the answer to depression.

I suggest you go to your doctor. Have a chat with him, tell him how you feel. If anti-depressants are necessary he will prescribe them. He may refer you to professional in this area. You need to get to the root of the depression, why it's there and how to over come it. Seeking proessional help will help you greatly in achieving this. It's not easy but it has to be done.

I'm on anti-depressants myself so if you need to talk or want some more advice feel free to PM me.

Good luck.

maitri

Hi!

I was severely depressed for very many years (I guess about 2/3 of the time since I was fourteen, actually) myself, to the point that I didn’t really function at all (I also suffered from anxiety). So what helped me out of it? It’s not that I am never sad or frightened or in pain, but the horrible depression has been gone for a long time now. I guess “the cure” was combination of different things, of course. I’ll make a list, maybe some of it can be helpful to you and other people, as well:

1)First: I read and practised the principles of this book, and to my amazement, it really did work for me:


http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/product-description/156924328X/102-0476488-2589729


Maybe this book, by the same author might be good, too. (I haven’t read it)

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0312321597/ref=pd_sxp_f_i/102-0476488-2589729?%5Fencoding=UTF8

2) I also learned how to say ”No!” (after a while in a nice way, too ) to peoples demands, so that I could control my own life. And I had to learn to feel what I wanted and didn’t want, instead of just doing what I thought was expected (for a period of time I had to break with some people in my family, but this might not be necessary for everybody).

3) I had to learn to be on my own side – always – to love my self unconditionally no matter what thoughts or feelings I had, or what stupid things I had just said and done. In the beginning I didn’t know how to love me when I felt unlovable, so I practiced just trying to accept me instead. I tried to stop “running away from myself”, always wishing to be different or somewhere or somebody else. I had, and still have, to learn just sticking with who I am right now, no matter what! It was hard – for some time - but the rewards are great! The biggest reward is happiness!

My best short advice: Learn to be really nice to yourself!

I wish you all the luck in the world!

M.

Wurly

fuzzywiggle wrote:

Medication isn't always the answer to depression.

Well it usually is if you've been depressed for 3 years!! You'll need a combination of counselling and meds to pull you out of that one usually.

I was just surprised that the poster had gone for 3 years without getting any form of help.

py2006

Hi,

I have been suffering from depression for a long time. I guess its about 10 years now! It has prohibited me from progressing in life with jobs, education, love etc. Sometimes its not as bad as other times but I didn't know what it was for years. I just assumed it was me and the way I was.

To be honest I am going through a really black period at the moment. I have posted about this before and people have said to go to the doctor but I can't bring myself to do it.

I can understand why the OP wouldn't discuss it with their family as its something I couldn't do either.

OP, I hope you can get things sorted real fast and get your life back up and running! Best of luck!

Doctor Fell

I was in the same situation as the OP and py2006 a couple of years ago. I posted about this before, so bear with me if I go over the same stuff again. My story is very similar to both of yours. Basically, it was slowly destroying me - everything seemed so hopeless and pointless, I couldn't feel anything and I used to get a terrible feeling of blackness, or emptiness. For years I had suffered from depression to various degrees, but like the OP said there were things that managed to dull the pain, as it were. But it eventually came to a head. I got to the point where living was just impossibly painful. I was missing work constantly because I just could not face getting up etc. You know what I mean I think.
And also, like was said above, I couldn't bring myself to talk to anybody, not even my closest friends (who I had probably alienated by then anyway!).
There seems to be a stigma in this country about talking about depression, it's really wierd. But I understand your reluctance to talk about it totally.
I looked for a doctor I had never gone to before, because I was embarrassed or whatever about talking about it. I thought it would be easier to explain to a woman aswell, so I went to a local female GP. Luckily she was very clued in and actually asked me if I was depressed or suicidal, because I wasn't able to bring myself to tell her why I was there. I found it almost impossible to put words to how I felt, but believe me, once you start talking about it, it is an incredible relief. I suppose keeping all of that darkness or sadness inside takes an enormous toll on someone. I can't recommend talking to someone strongly enough. And its even better if you talk to a GP instead of a friend - its confidential and above all they will know how to help you. Trust me. Anyway, that particular doctor definitely gave me my life back, I'm very grateful to her, tbh. I got medication off her (which addressed the problem of my low serotonin levels), and eventually things got better.
I truly believe you will have a similar experince if you can just make yourself go to a GP, or some professional. If you want to feel different or better or whatever, you will do this. The only alternative is a downward spiral to total despair, and you probably know this. So go before things get worse.
And as a matter of interest, I never told my family or friends about this. I only ever told my wife, and even then after a while. It is definitely hard to talk about, I'm not sure why. So don't worry, you really are not alone, and you can get help. It's actually not as serious as it seems to you now - I guess you can't see past this veil of darkness at the moment, but believe me you will if you just ask for help. Do yourself a favour, it really is possible to feel good again. Best of luck

quickbeam

maitri wrote:

Hi!

1)First: I read and practised the principles of this book, and to my amazement, it really did work for me:


[URL="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/product-description/156924328X/102-0476488-2589729
"] http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/product-description/156924328X/102-0476488-2589729
[/URL]

What's the name of this book? I can't get the link to work.


Edit - has anybody tried Aware? I looked at their website and it looks like group sessions. I'm not sure I'd feel comfortable with that. Can anybody recommend them?

maitri

quickbeam wrote:

What's the name of this book? I can't get the link to work.

Hi, Quickbeam!
I tried to fix the link, and think it works now.
Anyway, the title is: "The Science of Happiness : How Our Brains Make Us Happy-and What We Can Do to Get Happier (Paperback) " by Stefan Klein.

Regards,
Maitri

quickbeam

Thanks Maitri. I'll check it out ...

Tizzy

Hi there everybody ..

Its such a comfort to see that there are other people feeling like I do at the moment although I am having a good day today ...yesterday i was a total mess & had to leave work ...

To make a long story short I was diagnosed with depression 4 weeks ago and i have been on medication since..I feel lost, lonely sometimes frightened to death.... I also get terrible panic attacks which Im starting to deal with ...I started Councelling but am finding it difficult ...have had 3 sessions & i dread them ...I have never been able to open to family or friends .(dont trust too many people)...have pushed many people away ....so speaking to a stranger although it should help it is realy hard for me ... im not all that sure I understand what im supposed to be doing while in the session ...am I trying to find a cure & move on or drag up the past which means I go home upset .....


I live with my partner who has the torture of putting up with my unpredicatability. He is the only person that sees this side of me as Im clever enough to hide the true me to family ... not easy to be two different people ...painting a smile ...

i advise anybody feeling like this to visit there GP...my GP was great...very understanding ... or if they are lucky enough to have a freind or family member they trust confide in them ...

Might try that book .... Thanks

Doctor Fell

Tizzy wrote:

To make a long story short I was diagnosed with depression 4 weeks ago and i have been on medication since..I feel lost, lonely sometimes frightened to death.... I also get terrible panic attacks which Im starting to deal with ...I started Councelling but am finding it difficult ...have had 3 sessions & i dread them ...I have never been able to open to family or friends .(dont trust too many people)...have pushed many people away ....so speaking to a stranger although it should help it is realy hard for me ... im not all that sure I understand what im supposed to be doing while in the session ...am I trying to find a cure & move on or drag up the past which means I go home upset .....

Hi Tizzy,
that's great that you got some help, hope you're feeling "better" soon! However, don't worry about getting immediate results. Medication for depression takes about a month before you start seeing the benefits, and in the mean-time you can feel even worse than before. When I first went on SSRI's I felt so strange and disconnected from everything and everyone for a few weeks. But after this period things begin to clear up, but everybody probably heals at a different rate. So keep it up and I guarantee some day you will wake up and things will seem so different!
And about the sessions, I also found it sometimes impossible to talk about it, even to the GP. Sometimes it was like getting blood from a stone for her, I guess! You don't have to look for a cure, or drag up anything from the past - I think you just have to accept the way you are, that your self is depressed or sad. And remember there very well may be no reason why you are depressed apart from the fact that your brain just makes you feel that way (I think). What I mean is, there is nothing to explain, you just are depressed, so don't worry about it or beat yourself up over it, or go looking too hard for answers from your past, coz it's likely there are none. And don't go home upset, you're helping yourself and doing very positive things, so good luck!

quickbeam

I've been going to my counsellor for about a year now. Don't feel much different to how I felt a year ago. Am thinking of giving it up. Maybe find another tactic. Maybe Aware's group sessions are the thing. I've avoided medication. Maybe I should try that too.

On really bad days I just feel like checking in to a mental hospital. Haven't gone so far as to actually do it yet.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replies.

I've decided that im gonna go see a GP today or tomorrow. The problem is my parents are the GPs in my area and I dont know where else to go. Does anybody know of other GP clinics in South Dublin? I tried looking on google but I didn't find anything. Also how much does it cost to see a doctor?
Thanks

Doctor Fell

quickbeam wrote:

I've been going to my counsellor for about a year now. Don't feel much different to how I felt a year ago. Am thinking of giving it up. Maybe find another tactic. Maybe Aware's group sessions are the thing. I've avoided medication. Maybe I should try that too.

On really bad days I just feel like checking in to a mental hospital. Haven't gone so far as to actually do it yet.

Hello quickbeam,

while it definitely helps to get things off your chest and talk about your feelings, I believe that can only take you so far. The reason being that it is more than likely a physiological problem that is resulting in your depression. So to remedy this I would definitely recommend visiting a GP - did your counsellor not recommend this? IF it is some chemical imbalance, or slow serotonin or whatever that's causing this difficulty in your life, you absolutely should get medication. Don't worry, it won't change the person you are, it will just give you relief from your suffering. And don't worry about the mental hospital thoughts, that's just the desperation sneeking in! I'm sure you don't need that sort of treatment, but I would definitley go to a GP. You've absolutely nothing to lose...

LegacyUser

I've decided that im gonna go see a GP today or tomorrow. The problem is my parents are the GPs in my area and I dont know where else to go. Does anybody know of other GP clinics in South Dublin? I tried looking on google but I didn't find anything. Also how much does it cost to see a doctor?
Thanks

Sorry bout the double post

Esel

I think a GP visit should cost you between €40 and €50? Maybe you could check the Golden Pages to find other GPs in your area, or you could travel to another area of Dublin easily? Maybe you should ask the GP to refer you to a HSE clinic, where you could get counselling as well as medication (if appropriate). AFAIK, this service (including medication) is free, but availability can be a bit patchy depending on what area you are in.

It's good you are doing something positive about your situation. If you are prescribed an anti-depressant, be prepared to give it plenty of time to kick in. Depending on how low you are, they can take up to eight weeks before you notice an improvement. Stick with it.

You should also reconsider whether or not to talk to your parents about things. I would hope, being GPs, they would be able to be fairly objective. After all, you don't have an STD or anything to be embarrassed about! Depression is an illness that they see every day. If you felt confident enough to confide in them, and they respond professionally, it could be of significant help to you in getting better.

I'm sure things will work out for you. Good luck.

maitri

quickbeam wrote:

I've been going to my counsellor for about a year now. Don't feel much different to how I felt a year ago. Am thinking of giving it up. Maybe find another tactic.

Sometimes changing counsellor might be a good idea. Even if the one you have is not bad, you might benefit from another "perspective".
Find someone who helps you see and focussing on all that is really good and healthy in you, even when you are down. That's the greatest part of you, believe me!

And again: Be nice to yourself! You deserve it.

Maitri.

FLOOPER

Hi Depressed24,

I went to see this south Dublin based doctor (you'll find his name on the link)

http://www.omega3.20megsfree.com/whats_new.html

after about 10-14 years of feeling depressed to some degree or other. It wasn't particularly severe, although I had suicidal thoughts almost every day and experiences of isolation in company along with anxiety attacks that would have me doubled over. I also seemed to have gone through the rainbow of emotions with this. Like fear, apathy and hoplessness as well as mood swings and explosive temper fits.

He diagnosed me with pyroluria which is basically something, called pyroles, in your system that flush out vital and stablising elements from your body.

The treatment is simple and only involves replacement of B6 and zinc in large but harmless doses and also taking omega 3 (DHA),so no toxic meds. It may be what you're suffering or not but it would be worthwhile visiting him as he is local and also sympathethic to people with mental health problems.

The relief I experienced since being diagnosed and starting the supplements has changed the way I look at everything. It has given me confidence and hope as well as the ability to enjoy life which I can honestly say, in hindsight,
I never really did.

I hope you find the help you need.

LegacyUser

Check out the forums below, make some posts you will get sound information from people who suffer from anxiety and depression

http://algy.com/anxiety

Meds might be the answer, a doc can recommend some, you might need to find some to suit you.

You might also go to a therapist, I saw one a few times every few weeks cost me 80 euro and it cured my anxiety without meds.

Darragh29

Check out this website:

www.depressiondialogues.ie

They have a support group that meets once a month. The founder is Dr. Michael Corry, he is brilliant, he doesn't go sticking people on medication, he believes that stress or depression in many cases is a normal and natural response to a situation that is not normal, and that depression is as normal a condition as love, or other emotions, given the ideal conditions for depression to thrive. I suffered from depression for some time and it was caused by a workplace situation. I never suffered from depression previously but my situation at work was so acute that I ended up not being able to cope with it or even see the situation clearly. My GP gave me anti-depressants which made me worse and I was referred to Dr. Corry and everything started improving from that day forward. I have to point out that I was a normal healthy person who came into contact with an unsavory situation at work that made me ill, when I got the work problem sorted out and got out of my job which was destroying me as a person, I got better again. He has an excellent book co written with Aine Tubridy called "Going Mad?", which is well worth reading.

LegacyUser

Darragh29 wrote:

I suffered from depression for some time and it was caused by a workplace situation. I never suffered from depression previously but my situation at work was so acute that I ended up not being able to cope with it or even see the situation clearly.

Although I do not intend to downplay or diminish your situation, as it must have been very difficult, `situational depression' and `depression depression' are two entirely different animals.

Situational depression is easier to `resolve' or treat. Other forms of depression - such as unipolar or bipolar depression - can be the result of a chemical imbalance and are long-term problems, not usually brought on by one specific catalyst or event. Many people with these types of depressions have to live with this burden for the rest of their lives, like a disease or ailment. I would not wish these on anyone.

I'm glad to hear you are doing well again and that the situation was resolved.

Darragh29

Couldn't agree more Traurig, I was lucky that my depression was removed by the removal of the problem and that the depression I suffered from was associated with the problems I had at the time and were not inherent to myself. What surprised me was that I could suffer from depression and watch my life grind to a halt although I'd never had any previous history of depression. I didn't anticipate the reaction I ended up having to the situation I was in at the time. I know that there is what could be called "classic" depression, relating to bipolar disorders, etc. and there is one form of treatment for dealing effectively with this type of disease. When I went to my GP, his automatic reaction was to put me on anti-depressants. The problem was still there but I was no longer reacting to it in a certain way, like painting over a wall that has the wall paper hanging off it! I wasn't happy with the appraoch my GP was taking, it did nothing to cure me, it was shutting me down into a different person, all the time I was like a football being kicked around a field. I made some enquiries and ended up being referred to Dr. Corry at my own insistence and it is putting it lightly to say I felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders the day I met him.

The scary thing is that had I not done the legwork myself and taken the initiative to get to the root cause of the problem, my GP would still be prescribing me anti-depressants and I'd likely still be in the hole that I was in. My advice to anyone who is suffering from depression that is caused by external factors such as workplace issues, bullying or similar issues is to proceed with extreme caution if your GP wants to stick you on anti-depressants at first instance. Try to get in touch with someone who can atually help you fix your problems rather than gloss over them.

I have to say that although my problems were easier to cure, in that the removal of certain key issues removed depression, the way in which my life was turned upside down and I was shutting down, was no less difficult for me to have to deal with than someone who might be suffering from the type of depression that you have mentioned, I guess I am lucky that it was easier to cure.