Breakup

studio_one

hang in there man, you can do this
it's an awful experience it really is, but, you're better off
you won't feel so right away, but time will heal the wounds and you'll
look back and wonder why you made such a fuss. You've done the right
thing which was not easy to do at all, but hang in there and realize that right now it sucks.. in time you'll wonder why you made such a fuss
Chin up, it's summer:)

Epicpriest

studio_one wrote:

hang in there man, you can do this
it's an awful experience it really is, but, you're better off
you won't feel so right away, but time will heal the wounds and you'll
look back and wonder why you made such a fuss. You've done the right
thing which was not easy to do at all, but hang in there and realize that right now it sucks.. in time you'll wonder why you made such a fuss
Chin up, it's summer:)

Yeah, a breakup is not what i want. But it seems like it's what she wants. So she will probably have more respect for me for not begging.

Do you think she has met someone else? She is extremely good looking, how long will it be before she goes looking for someone else?

Just note that she came out of a 7 year relationship (from when she was 17) straight into this with me, so i was a rebound.

studio_one

The "met someone else" stuff going on in the head will
drive you nuts, you just can't entertain it, everytime that little
thought pops in there you have to shut it up. it's finished now and you're both quite entitled to do what you please.. you need to concentrate on you flirting around a lille.. nothing too serious like, but now for you is a great
time to be a little daring.. go and enjoy the summer .. forgive her and for now, forget her..

Darragh29

Epic man, fair play to you for being assertive about the matter. I hate saying this as you sound cut up but it sounds to me like there is someone else in the background here on her part. Her behaviour doesn't add up, I've seen this behaviour before and the outcome was that there was someone else behind the scenes for quite some time, although nothing had technically "happened" between them, the suttle interference by another "friendly" guy was enough to break up the relationship, then once that happened the door was open for this guy to move in on a single girl, even though he was the reason the relationship broke up.

Meet someone else as soon as you can, that's my advice and watch the truth come out of the woodwork over the newxt few days/weeks... It has a funny way of coming out...

Epicpriest

studio_one wrote:

The "met someone else" stuff going on in the head will
drive you nuts, you just can't entertain it, everytime that little
thought pops in there you have to shut it up. it's finished now and you're both quite entitled to do what you please.. you need to concentrate on you flirting around a lille.. nothing too serious like, but now for you is a great
time to be a little daring.. go and enjoy the summer .. forgive her and for now, forget her..

I don't know how to forget her. I'm so lonely, i have no-one to talk to who will listen.

Jack B. Badd

Epicpriest wrote:

Do you think she has met someone else? She is extremely good looking, how long will it be before she goes looking for someone else?

I know it's hard but I think you need to stop asking yourself questions like that and make a serious effort to get over her. Just keep reminding yourself that you decided to "be the bigger man and walk away" for your own good as well as hers (this is as it appears to me anyway) so you need to start concentrating on yourself now.
If you let yourself, you'll just keep thinking about her and drive yourself mad wondering what she's doing, who's she with, etc. You now need to think about your own life and well being so that you can adjust to being a single person again - and that adjustment does require some effort depending on how long ye've been together. Otherwise I think you'll end up going back and forth, one minute deciding that the best thing is to walk away and the next wanting to know how she is and trying to get in contact with her. Just my two cents.
Good luck with it and don't forget to lean on your mates a bit at the moment, it's what mates are for.

studio_one

we're listening
concentrate on a circle of friends for now man.
Be very determined to enjoy your summer
your summer started today..

Darragh29

Epic,

Try not to worry about what she is doing or who she is doing it with. Just concentrate on your own happinesss and as a previous post said, look to your friends, they are your right arm at times like this.

Epicpriest

Darragh29 wrote:

Epic,

Try not to worry about what she is doing or who she is doing it with. Just concentrate on your own happinesss and as a previous post said, look to your friends, they are your right arm at times like this.

she just e-mailed me the most normal e-mail i ever got. "hey "name". are you staying where you are permanently? where do you want your mail sent. And i didn't answer it as i was away, and then she sent another one saying fine i'll just send it there.

is she seeing someone else.

There is 1 possiblility. this guy she knows works for a few bands. he was txtn her and we went down to c the band and he met us for a drink after. she was talkin to him for most of the night, and they had been txtn eachother on and off, just stuff like "hey how are you? how you getting on with this and that, talk soon x" with kisses in it, and i asked her and she said Er.. no! he's rotten, and all this crap. But they always sent kisses.

Readin to much into it?

Darragh29

Epicpriest wrote:

she just e-mailed me the most normal e-mail i ever got. "hey "name". are you staying where you are permanently? where do you want your mail sent. And i didn't answer it as i was away, and then she sent another one saying fine i'll just send it there.

is she seeing someone else.

There is 1 possiblility. this guy she knows works for a few bands. he was txtn her and we went down to c the band and he met us for a drink after. she was talkin to him for most of the night, and they had been txtn eachother on and off, just stuff like "hey how are you? how you getting on with this and that, talk soon x" with kisses in it, and i asked her and she said Er.. no! he's rotten, and all this crap. But they always sent kisses.

Readin to much into it?

Epicpriest wrote:

she just e-mailed me the most normal e-mail i ever got. "hey "name". are you staying where you are permanently? where do you want your mail sent. And i didn't answer it as i was away, and then she sent another one saying fine i'll just send it there.

is she seeing someone else.

There is 1 possiblility. this guy she knows works for a few bands. he was txtn her and we went down to c the band and he met us for a drink after. she was talkin to him for most of the night, and they had been txtn eachother on and off, just stuff like "hey how are you? how you getting on with this and that, talk soon x" with kisses in it, and i asked her and she said Er.. no! he's rotten, and all this crap. But they always sent kisses.

Readin to much into it?

Epic, this sounds like it could be what is causing the problem. Obviously I can't say for sure what is going on, but her behaviour is not adding up at all. If she's putting "x's" into messages to a guy in a band of all jobs, I'd be associating all these factors together and drawing my own conclusions, regardless of what she has to say when you did put it to her. At the end of the day she is not being honest with you, this must be absolutely head wrecking for you, at least normally in a break-up situation, you get a chance to hear the criticisms and respond accordingly.

In this situation you seem to be completely in the dark, you don't have a clue what is going on in her head, because of the way she is dealing with her problems, whatever they are. The important thing I think here is to move on and get with someone else ASAP. If you can find one good looking girl, you can certainly find another. You mentioned that this particular girl is very attractive, I think she may as well look like the back of the 48A if she can't act like an adult and communicate with you openly and honestly and allow you to have some dignity in all of this.

Meant to say to you, this ex she went out with for 7 years, any chance he is back on the scene again??? I don't think she is actually with someone else, (although she could be), I just think someone else out there has had her attention at this time, and has managed to undermine what you two had and sadly for you, she does not appear to have the maturity to deal with it like an adult. She sounds like she needs a lot of attention, texting someone and putting "x's" in the texts is not appropriate. It's giving off the wrong signal I think. Without being disrepectful, it sounds like this girl has a lot of growing up to do...

Epicpriest

Darragh29 wrote:

Epic, this sounds like it could be what is causing the problem. Obviously I can't say for sure what is going on, but her behaviour is not adding up at all. If she's putting "x's" into messages to a guy in a band of all jobs, I'd be associating all these factors together and drawing my own conclusions, regardless of what she has to say when you did put it to her. At the end of the day she is not being honest with you, this must be absolutely head wrecking for you, at least normally in a break-up situation, you get a chance to hear the criticisms and respond accordingly.

In this situation you seem to be completely in the dark, you don't have a clue what is going on in her head, because of the way she is dealing with her problems, whatever they are. The important thing I think here is to move on and get with someone else ASAP. If you can find one good looking girl, you can certainly find another. You mentioned that this particular girl is very attractive, I think she may as well look like the back of the 48A if she can't act like an adult and communicate with you openly and honestly and allow you to have some dignity in all of this.

Meant to say to you, this ex she went out with for 7 years, any chance he is back on the scene again??? I don't think she is actually with someone else, (although she could be), I just think someone else out there has had her attention at this time, and has managed to undermine what you two had and sadly for you, she does not appear to have the maturity to deal with it like an adult. She sounds like she needs a lot of attention, texting someone and putting "x's" in the texts is not appropriate. It's giving off the wrong signal I think. Without being disrepectful, it sounds like this girl has a lot of growing up to do...

The ex has never been off the scene. She always said she wanted to stay in contact with him, and secret texts and stuff from him (and from her) have always caused us problems. I can't talk about it anymore. I feel sick.

Darragh29

Epicpriest wrote:

The ex has never been off the scene. She always said she wanted to stay in contact with him, and secret texts and stuff from him (and from her) have always caused us problems. I can't talk about it anymore. I feel sick.

The more I hear about this girl the more I think of the monkey swinging through the jungle analogy that I gave earlier in this thread. I know this sounds disrespectful on some level but I hope you can see that it is not meant to be disrespectful as an end, but merely demonstrates a mentality that some girls have. It is clear that she is not ready to have a "one on one" committed adult relationship. I hope I'm not depressing you here with my posts, I'm sure you'd be well able to hit the scene again and get this girl out of your system. What might do the trick, given that it's summertime, would be to head off on a lads holiday in somewhere like Ibiza or Ayia Napa for a fortnight, muster your mates together and get away for 2 weeks and you'll likely come home a new man!

Epicpriest

Darragh29 wrote:

The more I hear about this girl the more I think of the monkey swinging through the jungle analogy that I gave earlier in this thread. I know this sounds disrespectful on some level but I hope you can see that it is not meant to be disrespectful as an end, but merely demonstrates a mentality that some girls have. It is clear that she is not ready to have a "one on one" committed adult relationship. I hope I'm not depressing you here with my posts, I'm sure you'd be well able to hit the scene again and get this girl out of your system. What might do the trick, given that it's summertime, would be to head off on a lads holiday in somewhere like Ibiza or Ayia Napa for a fortnight, muster your mates together and get away for 2 weeks and you'll likely come home a new man!

Well i've been out trying to meet people. I've slept with 2 girls and talking to another one. All quite attractive (1 is very attractive) but they aren't giving me that thing i'm missing you know?

I just feel completely lost.

BeardyGit

Epicpriest wrote:

Well i've been out trying to meet people. I've slept with 2 girls and talking to another one. All quite attractive (1 is very attractive) but they aren't giving me that thing i'm missing you know?

I just feel completely lost.

Get you act together and realise that it's over. Done with. No going back. Can't be friends. Accept that and leave her alone. Tell her to leave you alone. It's over man and there's nothing you can do about it really.

Dude, gettin out there and sleeping around isn't going to help so you might as well cut that out straight away. Acting that way is likely to leave you feeling a bit empty and lost, rather than helping you as suggested by Darragh. You have stuff to work through in your head - But just remember that you're not in a position to question or judge her actions or motivation. She does what she wants, with whomever she chooses and you have no right to expect anything from her.

It's obvious enough that she's taking care of business in terms of moving on and cutting you loose. Go with that, and then start sorting out whatever mess she's left in your head. On your own, not dragging some other girl into it might I add.

Darragh29

Gil_Dub wrote:

Get you act together and realise that it's over. Done with. No going back. Can't be friends. Accept that and leave her alone. Tell her to leave you alone. It's over man and there's nothing you can do about it really.

Dude, gettin out there and sleeping around isn't going to help so you might as well cut that out straight away. Acting that way is likely to leave you feeling a bit empty and lost, rather than helping you as suggested by Darragh. You have stuff to work through in your head - But just remember that you're not in a position to question or judge her actions or motivation. She does what she wants, with whomever she chooses and you have no right to expect anything from her.

It's obvious enough that she's taking care of business in terms of moving on and cutting you loose. Go with that, and then start sorting out whatever mess she's left in your head. On your own, not dragging some other girl into it might I add.

I'm not suggesting he just goes out and sleeps around for the sake of sleepinga around. He probably needs to get some flegm off his chest in the first instance. Whatever about "sleeping" with girls, he needs to get back out on the scene and get his life back. If he doesn't do this he could start losing confidence and going down the slippery slope of pineing after this girl for a long time, not making any effort to move on and end up not being able to get into a reltionship with someone else.

Epicpriest

Darragh29 wrote:

I'm not suggesting he just goes out and sleeps around for the sake of sleepinga around. He probably needs to get some flegm off his chest in the first instance. Whatever about "sleeping" with girls, he needs to get back out on the scene and get his life back. If he doesn't do this he could start losing confidence and going down the slippery slope of pineing after this girl for a long time, not making any effort to move on and end up not being able to get into a reltionship with someone else.

Ok i spoke to her yesterday and it's real. we're finished. she was leading me on making it last longer hoping my feelings would falter and we would just be friends (thus lesseing the guilt on her part). So i told her i'm not going to be led on, this very same thing happened with her ex (she was doing me and seeing him at the same time). So i told her i don't want to see her lying, cheating as* again.

Darragh29

Epicpriest wrote:

Ok i spoke to her yesterday and it's real. we're finished. she was leading me on making it last longer hoping my feelings would falter and we would just be friends (thus lesseing the guilt on her part). So i told her i'm not going to be led on, this very same thing happened with her ex (she was doing me and seeing him at the same time). So i told her i don't want to see her lying, cheating as* again.

I feel so sorry for you mate, I was in a situation like this once years ago and I'll never forget it. What comes around will go around and she'll get her comeuppance some day... In my own situation, the mistake I made was staying in contact with her, looking back it was the worst mistake I made. Keep the head high and I just hope you don't lose faith in women because of your experiences with this one.

Epicpriest

Darragh29 wrote:

I feel so sorry for you mate, I was in a situation like this once years ago and I'll never forget it. What comes around will go around and she'll get her comeuppance some day... In my own situation, the mistake I made was staying in contact with her, looking back it was the worst mistake I made. Keep the head high and I just hope you don't lose faith in women because of your experiences with this one.

You've been really helpful mate. The only thing that was keeping me with her was her looks. I have been looking around and she is one of the most natuarally beautiful girls i've seen. All my friends think it, she isn't slutty looking and she doesn't wear mini-skirts or low cut tops etc, she wears jeans and runners, and classy things. I just can't get her face out of my head.

And then listening to track 6 on the new Reuben album doesn't help.

I know that all women aren't like her. She has no consideration what so ever for anyone elses feelings. As long as she's ok, she doesn't care.

Thanks everyone. Let a new Chapter begin.

Epicpriest

Epicpriest wrote:

You've been really helpful mate. The only thing that was keeping me with her was her looks. I have been looking around and she is one of the most natuarally beautiful girls i've seen. All my friends think it, she isn't slutty looking and she doesn't wear mini-skirts or low cut tops etc, she wears jeans and runners, and classy things. I just can't get her face out of my head.

And then listening to track 6 on the new Reuben album doesn't help.

I know that all women aren't like her. She has no consideration what so ever for anyone elses feelings. As long as she's ok, she doesn't care.

Thanks everyone. Let a new Chapter begin.

Oh ye, how do i stop thinking about about her getting intimate with someone else like she did with me? It's killing me to think that probably pretty soon, someone is going to have their hands all over what i still think of as "my property" kinda thing. I keep imagining a certain situation =(

LegacyUser

This thread just wrecks my head. It's so unfortunate what the OP had to go through...it really makes me think if relationships are worthwhile...God damn OP i feel sorry for you and the situation and hope to **** you get over it asap...

LegacyUser

Epicpriest wrote:

Oh ye, how do i stop thinking about about her getting intimate with someone else like she did with me? It's killing me to think that probably pretty soon, someone is going to have their hands all over what i still think of as "my property" kinda thing. I keep imagining a certain situation =(

you can't simple as that but as time goes on and you meet somebody else it will become easier. I went through the same thing when I broke up with my boyfriend 3 years ago and there are still days when I think about things like that but you will learn to put them to the back of your mind....

Epicpriest

Ok last piece. I dunno if i've done the right thing.

I called over to her house last night to get the last of my stuff, she opened the door and had some of it there, but my t-shirt and stuf were in her room. She asked me to come up and chat for a min with a smiley face.

Went up and sat on the bed and she was saying "so how are you blah blah" trying to be all "i'm happy" and i just said i was grand. And she started grabbing my finger and stuff, and rubbing my leg, not in the sexual way.

I said i don't think friends is going to work and she said "why are you not mature enough to be friends after a breakup?" and i said yes i am but whats gonna happen if we're seeing other people. She said "why coz i might see you out with your new girlfriend?, because i'm ok with it if you are" kinda thing. Basically making a mockery of everything we had.

I then said i have to go and she got up smiling and put her arms out saying gimme a hug then, you kow i'm gonna run up and hug you everytime i see you. And i then pushed her away from me kinda and said i'm not hugging you.

She said fine and her smile was faltering, i walked out and down the stairs and her face was gone kinda pale, as if she was surprised, and i said "thanks" and walked out. She slammed the door behind me.

After what she's done to me, i don't think she deserves to get the "i still miss you" treatment every time i see her, she did the exact same to her ex when she was Bang*ng me and he still hangs on her leg 2 yearss later.

MILKSHAKER

Hi Epic,

You are in a horrible situation at the moment and one which i see myself in very soon. The difference with me is that im too much of a coward to walk away from the man that i love and will find myself miserable with or without him. Breakups are a nightmare and i hear ya when you say that you cant imagine the pain of having someone else being intimate with her.

I put a thread up today and got lots of advice but the main thing i can take from it is that people wont put up with any **** from partners. I really dont think she is considering you in this at all. At the end of the day you gave her 2 years of your life and she should respect it a bit more.

I do know that there's alot of great girls out there,
Go Get one

Darragh29

MILKSHAKER wrote:

Hi Epic,

You are in a horrible situation at the moment and one which i see myself in very soon. The difference with me is that im too much of a coward to walk away from the man that i love and will find myself miserable with or without him. Breakups are a nightmare and i hear ya when you say that you cant imagine the pain of having someone else being intimate with her.

I put a thread up today and got lots of advice but the main thing i can take from it is that people wont put up with any **** from partners. I really dont think she is considering you in this at all. At the end of the day you gave her 2 years of your life and she should respect it a bit more.

I do know that there's alot of great girls out there,
Go Get one

The two of you sound like you have a lot in common, if you guys ever met up and fancied each other, you'd be the perfect couple...:cool:

Epicpriest

Darragh29 wrote:

The two of you sound like you have a lot in common, if you guys ever met up and fancied each other, you'd be the perfect couple...:cool:

she text me last night a "wrong number" text, so i said wrong number and she said "well from what i heard the best thing i ever did was dump you, u lousy fu*k....

she then rang me at 4am when she got home from being out drinking (i was out also and she saw me twice but i didn't see her) and said "what are you playing at, a few days ago you were mine, and now i hear you're out having a great time and texting other young ones.

I said what do you want, do you want to try again or somethign and she said "i don't know" then when i asked her again she said "not right now no".

And i asked her if she still loved me and she said she didn't know. She said she was sorry, she was a bit drunk, and if i wanted to i should tell her to fu*k off and hang up. So i did....

Whats wrong with her, i wish she'd leave me alone.

Epicpriest

MILKSHAKER wrote:

Hi Epic,

You are in a horrible situation at the moment and one which i see myself in very soon. The difference with me is that im too much of a coward to walk away from the man that i love and will find myself miserable with or without him. Breakups are a nightmare and i hear ya when you say that you cant imagine the pain of having someone else being intimate with her.

I put a thread up today and got lots of advice but the main thing i can take from it is that people wont put up with any **** from partners. I really dont think she is considering you in this at all. At the end of the day you gave her 2 years of your life and she should respect it a bit more.

I do know that there's alot of great girls out there,
Go Get one

Ye like Darragh said, if we met up we'd probably be mad about eachother =(

Darragh29

The auld "wrong number" chestnut! She sounds like she has a serious amount of growing up to do to be honest mate. How you bearing up???

youcancallmeal

Epicpriest wrote:

Whats wrong with her, i wish she'd leave me alone.

Epicpriest wrote:

I said what do you want, do you want to try again or somethign and she said "i don't know" then when i asked her again she said "not right now no".

Well if your asking her stuff like that then thats probably why she is not leaving you alone.

Epicpriest

Darragh29 wrote:

The auld "wrong number" chestnut! She sounds like she has a serious amount of growing up to do to be honest mate. How you bearing up???

I was ok, why would she call me a Lousy fu*k? She broke up with me, and now when i try to move on she goes bananas.

She e-mailed me this morning saying "sorry bout last night, was drunk and upset. sorry if i let my feelings get the better of me, i'm only human after all. I don't want to fight anymore. Bye pet "name".

What is she doing? does she still have feelings for me or what? And if she does, why would she keep saying she didn't want to get back with me?

I'm doing ok, i just really miss her. The other girls are helping take my mind off it, but it's not the same you know?

She was out all night last night and was drunk, got home after 3, do you think she would have kissed someone?

Epicpriest

youcancallme>al wrote:

Well if your asking her stuff like that then thats probably why she is not leaving you alone.

If you read back, the other day i walked out the door without hugging her, and hadn't spoken to her since, so now she contacts me to give out about seeing other people, i hadn't sai any of that stuff till she called bud.

goldilocked

Just thru the thread, most've us have been through something like you describe.
Things get better. You'll get stronger. You'll wish you didn't do so much wallowing around. Hang out with your mates...get drunk...go mad...get pissed off going mad...get fit...feel good about yourself...get a bit of female attention...hopefully meet a girl you REALLY like and realise you're better off it happened.
You said you've no one to talk to that will listen....you're probably sick of listening to yourself going on, imagine how other people feel.

Good luck dude, you'll be grand.

Epicpriest

goldilocked wrote:

Just thru the thread, most've us have been through something like you describe.
Things get better. You'll get stronger. You'll wish you didn't do so much wallowing around. Hang out with your mates...get drunk...go mad...get pissed off going mad...get fit...feel good about yourself...get a bit of female attention...hopefully meet a girl you REALLY like and realise you're better off it happened.
You said you've no one to talk to that will listen....you're probably sick of listening to yourself going on, imagine how other people feel.

Good luck dude, you'll be grand.

Ye thanks.

I don't talk to my friends about it. We make fun of it, so it makes it easier to handle.

Darragh29

Epicpriest wrote:

I was ok, why would she call me a Lousy fu*k? She broke up with me, and now when i try to move on she goes bananas.

She e-mailed me this morning saying "sorry bout last night, was drunk and upset. sorry if i let my feelings get the better of me, i'm only human after all. I don't want to fight anymore. Bye pet "name".

What is she doing? does she still have feelings for me or what? And if she does, why would she keep saying she didn't want to get back with me?

I'm doing ok, i just really miss her. The other girls are helping take my mind off it, but it's not the same you know?

She was out all night last night and was drunk, got home after 3, do you think she would have kissed someone?

It sounds to me like she is enjoying the short term attention of a twit in a band or some other lad. is this girl for real??? She breaks up with you and then gives out to you for "texting other girls"!?!?!?! If you are seeing someone else now, its absolutely NONE of her business, especially true as she broek up with you! I don't think she has thought this through at all, she probably thought she was missing out on something in her life and along somes this twit in a band who gives her attention and she loves it. If I was in this situation I'd change my number, I'd make it impossible for her to contact me and if she did manage to contact me, I'd completely ignore her. She made her bed and I'd let her lie in it. She will only wreck your head for as long as you entertain her sh*te.

If she ever grows up and REALLY and GENUINELY realises that she made a huge mistake, let her come back and say it and admit her mistake and say she wants you two to try it again. She was probably only trying to suss out if you were with someone else last night. As long as she is at this "I don't know, I think I want us to get back, I need more time, I don't want us to get back together at the moment", I wouldn't speak to her or listen to her. Put her out of reach and move on and get a new gf if you are ready for that or else take your time and enjoy time with your friends and if she ever actually grows up and appreciates what she had with you, let her come to you and say that, and if she does and she is genuine, I'm sure you will know it.

Epicpriest

Darragh29 wrote:

It sounds to me like she is enjoying the short term attention of a twit in a band or some other lad. is this girl for real??? She breaks up with you and then gives out to you for "texting other girls"!?!?!?! If you are seeing someone else now, its absolutely NONE of her business, especially true as she broek up with you! I don't think she has thought this through at all, she probably thought she was missing out on something in her life and along somes this twit in a band who gives her attention and she loves it. If I was in this situation I'd change my number, I'd make it impossible for her to contact me and if she did manage to contact me, I'd completely ignore her. She made her bed and I'd let her lie in it. She will only wreck your head for as long as you entertain her sh*te.

If she ever grows up and REALLY and GENUINELY realises that she made a huge mistake, let her come back and say it and admit her mistake and say she wants you two to try it again. She was probably only trying to suss out if you were with someone else last night. As long as she is at this "I don't know, I think I want us to get back, I need more time, I don't want us to get back together at the moment", I wouldn't speak to her or listen to her. Put her out of reach and move on and get a new gf if you are ready for that or else take your time and enjoy time with your friends and if she ever actually grows up and appreciates what she had with you, let her come to you and say that, and if she does and she is genuine, I'm sure you will know it.

She must be speaking to someone else or be in negotiations. Any time i mentioned it since we broke up she flipped out though. She's way to attracive to not have people sniffing around after her.

She is hurting me man, i was feeling a bit better, now she goes and says "don't be with anyone else, but i still don't want you".. do does she or not?

noeleenred

I think that she doesn't want you and she doesn't want anyone else to have you either. You need closure, ask her (by email, no need to talk to her) why she broke up with you, does she not love you anymore? If she says she doesn't know then theres something wrong there, you either do or you don't know. Once you have your reason then you need to ask her to stop emailing, texting and ringing you - drunk or sober. You need a clean break from this girl to get over her. At least you're young and it will get beter over time, Rome wasn't built in a day!

Darragh29

Epicpriest wrote:

She must be speaking to someone else or be in negotiations. Any time i mentioned it since we broke up she flipped out though. She's way to attracive to not have people sniffing around after her.

She is hurting me man, i was feeling a bit better, now she goes and says "don't be with anyone else, but i still don't want you".. do does she or not?

I think she will realise the mistake she has made when she sees you have moved on. Having said that, I wouldn't move on for the purposes of making her realise that she made a big mistake, as in trying to "shock" her into coming back to you. I'm a bit of a cold hearted boll*x when it comes to a situation like this. I'd just cut her out of my life in totality and leave her to find out the hard way. If she came back, of course I'd be chuffed on one level, but I wouldn't get back with her, as time goes on you'll move on and this will fade into distant memory, you don't think now that it will but it will, as sure as night follows day...

Epicpriest

Darragh29 wrote:

I think she will realise the mistake she has made when she sees you have moved on. Having said that, I wouldn't move on for the purposes of making her realise that she made a big mistake, as in trying to "shock" her into coming back to you. I'm a bit of a cold hearted boll*x when it comes to a situation like this. I'd just cut her out of my life in totality and leave her to find out the hard way. If she came back, of course I'd be chuffed on one level, but I wouldn't get back with her, as time goes on you'll move on and this will fade into distant memory, you don't think now that it will but it will, as sure as night follows day...

Ok i e-mailed her and basically said you can't do this to people. you broke up with me, and now you're ringing me upset?? thats rich. I said i need closure, and asked her to answer this question. Do you still love me?

I'll let you know what she says.

vandermeyde

bar her mobile, ignore her emails and try to move on...

you're just picking at a scab mate.

Epicpriest

vandermeyde wrote:

bar her mobile, ignore her emails and try to move on...

you're just picking at a scab mate.

Ye you're right. I shouldn't have sent that e-mail. But at least she know's she can't keep messing me around.

Darragh29

Epicpriest wrote:

Ye you're right. I shouldn't have sent that e-mail. But at least she know's she can't keep messing me around.

I have to agree Epic, I think keeping contact with this girl is only going to make her more confident in her situation and she will know that you will be at the of the phone or text should she need you. I'd draw a line under it for the moment, personally I think she will come to regret what she did, you see it happening everyday on the boards here, but for the here and the now, I'd put as much distance between me and this girl if I was you...

vandermeyde

maybe writing the stuff in an email helped you, just as this thread might be doing too but chances are you're going to end up getting into more he-said-she-said stuff in an email exchange with the ex running over old ground and to be honest she's holding the aces at the moment as you still seem to come running back looking for reassurance from her.

the world cup is on, the sun is out and you've got a few girls who are interested in you...chalk a line in it, put it down to experience and move on...you deserve it.

Epicpriest

Darragh29 wrote:

I have to agree Epic, I think keeping contact with this girl is only going to make her more confident in her situation and she will know that you will be at the of the phone or text should she need you. I'd draw a line under it for the moment, personally I think she will come to regret what she did, you see it happening everyday on the boards here, but for the here and the now, I'd put as much distance between me and this girl if I was you...

She seems to still be doubting whether or not she made the right decision, maybe if i did give her a break we would be getting back together, i jsut took a lot of advice...

But i'm not going to linger. If she e-mails me back i won't reply again, or i will and say look it's best just to finish all this chit chat and get on with it.

I know being horrible to her though will just drive her into someone elses arms.

noeleenred

If she's that quick at jumping into someone else arm, she really doesn't care about you. You both need a break from each other. If she does email you back, you could say to her (not straight away, leave it an hour or so) that you don't want her to text or ring or email you for awhile. You need to get your head around this and think about how she's treating you. You have been going out and living together, I dont think she is being never nice to you at all. You need to realise this.

Epicpriest

noeleenred wrote:

If she's that quick at jumping into someone else arm, she really doesn't care about you. You both need a break from each other. If she does email you back, you could say to her (not straight away, leave it an hour or so) that you don't want her to text or ring or email you for awhile. You need to get your head around this and think about how she's treating you. You have been going out and living together, I dont think she is being never nice to you at all. You need to realise this.

Ok she got back to me saying "i love you, but you deserve more love then i can give blab blah, i'll always look at our pictures and smile yada yada.

I retuend a mail telling her that she is rutheless and heartless, and one day the selfishness will back fire, and i don't want to be friends with someone like that

woops.

Darragh29

Epicpriest wrote:

She seems to still be doubting whether or not she made the right decision, maybe if i did give her a break we would be getting back together, i jsut took a lot of advice...

But i'm not going to linger. If she e-mails me back i won't reply again, or i will and say look it's best just to finish all this chit chat and get on with it.

I know being horrible to her though will just drive her into someone elses arms.

You're not being "horrible" to her Epic, you are being what she wanted you to be, which is single. This means being with other people and she knows this well. I think you'll have to look beyond her good looks and see the not so pleasant side of her. I know this sounds terrible, as if I think the girl is a bitch. I'm sure she is not but she sounds like she has a serious amount of growing up and maturing to do before she deserves to be in a relationship. Let her run to someone else, in fact I think she has to, but the $60,000 question is after she has done that, will she be any happier??? I think you should check something out here... I'd suss out if this ex bf who was always on the scene is after getting engaged or planning to get married or maybe might be having a kid now or something like that. Girls can be weird like that, you see that one the boards here as well. While I think you get this girl out of your life, it is also important to find out exactly what happened here, clearly something is having an influence on her to cause her from being happy to being indifferent and unpredictable.

"How often have I said to you that when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth?" Sherlock Holmes, Sign of Four (1890)...

Epicpriest

She e-mailed me back saying "have a nice life"

and then another one saying, well i'm glad you're getting on better now, because i am to ;-) see ya round ;-D *name*.

Why is she doing this to me?

noeleenred

Shes's a bit*h that wants her cake and eat it and would like you to keep crawling back to her and feed her ego.

Now that you've stood up for yourself, she's trying to make you feel guilty. Sending the second message is her way of trying to get you to reply to her to feed her more attention. Remember you can NOT email or text her again for a while.

Epicpriest

noeleenred wrote:

Shes's a bit*h that wants her cake and eat it and would like you to keep crawling back to her and feed her ego.

Now that you've stood up for yourself, she's trying to make you feel guilty. Sending the second message is her way of trying to get you to reply to her to feed her more attention. Remember you can NOT email or text her again for a while.

She replied back saying "why do we have to fight? i understand youre happier now and i want you to be happy? will you only be happy if we really hate each other??"

I'm not replying.

Metacortex

She sounds like a total headwreck.
My only advice now is don't text her, email her or ring her. If she sends you a message, ignore it. Just cut her off, for a while anyway.

noeleenred

Now make sure to keep it up, I dont want to read this on Monday and see that you've caved in.

She's just looking for attention, it's all about her.