Women explained by Scientists

JohnnySideburns

See attached

Donegal Lass

well you lot aint so great either????



Because I'm a Man

Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a wire clothes hanger and ignore your suggestions that we call a road service until long after hypothermia has set in.

Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start." We will then drink beer.

Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You never get as sick as I do, so for you this isn't an issue.

Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like "Cumin" or "Tofu". For all I know these are the same thing. And never, under any circumstances, expect me to pick up anything for which "feminine hygiene product" is a euphemism.

Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.

Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it (though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator).

Because I'm a man, I don't think we're all that lost, and no, I don't think we should stop and ask someone. Why would you listen to a complete stranger -- I mean, how the hell could he know where we're going?

Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The answer is always either sex or baseball, though I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't.

Because I'm a man, I am capable of announcing, "One more beer and I really have to go", and mean it every single time I say it, even when it gets to the point that the one bar closes and my buddies and I have to go hunt down another. I will find it increasingly hilarious to have my pals call you to tell you I'll be home soon, and no, I don't understand why you threw all my clothes into the front yard. Like, what's the connection?

Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't.

Because I'm a man, yes, I have to turn up the radio when Bruce Springsteen or The Doors comes on, and then, yes, I have to tell you every single time about how Bruce had his picture on the cover of Time and Newsweek the same day, or how Jim Morrison is buried in Paris and everyone visits his grave. Please do not behave as if you do not find this fascinating.

Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?

Because I'm a man, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the gardening, the cleaning, and the dishes. I'll do the rest.

THIS HAS BEEN A PUBLIC SERVICE MESSAGE FOR WOMEN, TO BETTER UNDERSTAND THE MALE ANIMAL.

Brother To God

from all your posts in the "Humour" forum seems you really hate men!

Hagar

She does. Ever since her mickey fell off.

Donegal Lass

lord no i dnt hate men!!!

i just givin back wats posted,

and my mickey hasnt fallen off yet either

JohnnySideburns

It's not a mickey. It's a big cliterous. At least, that's what she told me it was anyhow!!!!!

Donegal Lass

no no thats wat i said yours looked like!!!:D

couldnt be classified as anythin else???

JohnnySideburns

Donegal Lass wrote:

no no thats wat i said yours looked like!!!:D

couldnt be classified as anythin else???

Oh sorry, I must have missed it when you said that. Didn't your mother ever tell you, you shouldn't speak with your mouth full!!!!!!!

MistressPandora

Nice burn!

Donegal Lass

JohnnySideburns wrote:

Oh sorry, I must have missed it when you said that. Didn't your mother ever tell you, you shouldn't speak with your mouth full!!!!!!!

oh she did!! but seein as you werent in the same room,it was prob easy for you to miss it!!!:D

JohnnySideburns

Donegal Lass wrote:

no no thats wat i said yours looked like!!!:D

couldnt be classified as anythin else???

Not a great comeback considering you've already established we were in each other's presence. This is going to get monotenous. If you want the last word, take it!!!!

Hagar

Donegal Lass wrote:

and my mickey hasnt fallen off yet either

Please be sure to let us know when it does.

Donegal Lass

wel we didnt say we were in each others presence all the time................

yea your rite im bored now haha!!! we'l leave it that we're even then so!!:D

Donegal Lass

Hagar wrote:

Please be sure to let us know when it does.

wel if it like yours from lack of use it mite happen any day now...............
stay tuned!!:p

Hagar

Nice one.
I'd use mine more often only I don't like handling the cobwebs.

Donegal Lass

hahahaha!!!!!!!!!:D

nice post man!!!:D