How to know if you're "country"

king_of_inismac

having more soil inside your car than outside is country
using a bush for a gate is country
owning a sheepdog is country
owning a mongrel is more country
using baling twine as a belt is country
tea in a glass bottle is country
tk lemonade is country
tho not as country as country spring 3 l bottles
going to mass in a tractor, with a dog in the transport bx is country
having an obese full forward on your gaa team is country
having more soil in your underpants than outside is country
smoking major cigarettes
loving the smell of hay
sunburn from the bog
having the guy who got sent down twice for gbh as your full back is country
hating crows is country
calling potatoes "spuds" is country
putting plastics bags in your leaking wellies is country
using a hurley to drive cattle is country
owning a gaa bag from 1987 is country
always being afraid of the pto is country
thinking wearing lynx makes ya sophiticated is country
Drinking Harp is country
knowing more about the bovine reproductive system than the human one is country
checked shirts in cps is country
thinking standing outside the door of the church for 40 minutes on sunday counts as mass is country
having more dogs than kids is country
pronouncing tea as tae
wining the junior C hurling, and going on the beer for a week afterwards is country
going around the parish with 12 kids hanging out of your car after winning any underage title is country
putting three bales of hay into the back seat of your car is country
saying 'i'll buy you a pint' instead of actually paying for something is country
knowing why 10-10-20 is better than 18-6-12 is country
driving around with two bags of cement on your bonnet is country
having a 17 year old playing for the under 12s football team, and claiming you didnt know his age afterwards is country
using a hay-shed as the base of operations for your poiteen empire is country
knowing the proper mixture for a 2-stroke engine instinctively
treating anyone from beyond athenry as foreigners
pronouncing meat as mate is country
mohrkm

r3nu4l

Be careful! I posted something along the same lines recently and almost had the face chewed off me because similar threads exist.

The humour Nazis are on the way...run before it's too late :eek:

iFight

king_of_inismac wrote:

knowing why 10-10-20 is better than 18-6-12 is country
mohrkm

Dont get that one?

MrJones

absolutely class:D

r3nu4l

iFight wrote:

Dont get that one?

Fertilizers...and I'm a Dub!

iFight

r3nu4l wrote:

Fertilizers...and I'm a Dub!

Still dont, never said i was country btw

hepcat

Anyone remeber the ad for triple A golden maverick...."calves gittin scour is mighty vexatious"...for some reason we used to love that ad, now thats country

MrJones

they are both types of fertilizers. you got me

iFight wrote:

Dont get that one?

TomTom

Lives in a house, a very big house in the country

biko

Very good

Kojak

Brilliant

king_of_inismac

a few additions:

Driving for fun in a field in an old banger

Having a grass stripe in the middle of the road in front of your house

Coming home in any sort of an argricultural trailer after a days work

Having a tan line between the crack of your arse, and the bottom of your t-shirt

Thinking all vegitarians are gay

Getting your dinner from the chip van at the cattlemart on a saturday

Kermitt

Should I be worried that some of those actually apply to me - quite a few in fact... Nothin like headin back home on top of the trailer load of turf!!


Cheno-Unction - A quare name, but i'ts great stuff! A classic

Tar.Aldarion

iFight wrote:

Dont get that one?

The numbers are ratios of chemicals in fertilizers.

foggy

going to mass in a tractor, with a dog in the transport bx is country

Going to mass in a tractor, with a dog in the Link box is country. Calling it a transport box is pure jackeen

TomTom

I'd call it a transport box and i'm a culchie. sure the top link has many uses but defining it to one use is a nono. Mind the pto when putting the box on thought.

DublinWriter

r3nu4l wrote:

Be careful! I posted something along the same lines recently and almost had the face chewed off me because similar threads exist.

The humour Nazis are on the way...run before it's too late :eek:

ACHTUNG!

There's also another class one doing the rounds about being a Dubliner.

The Free Man

mighteh!!

Munya

Lol half of it confused me
I own a mongrel Sheepdog lol

king_of_inismac wrote:

tho not as country as country spring 3 l bottles

Whys that? Its true but creepy

king_of_inismac wrote:

sunburn from the bog

Haha TAN!!!

king_of_inismac wrote:

calling potatoes "spuds" is country

Spudz r cool leave em alone!


The following confused me

king_of_inismac wrote:

always being afraid of the pto is country
knowing more about the bovine reproductive system than the human one is country
checked shirts in cps is country

Munya

king_of_inismac wrote:

Thinking all vegitarians are gay

Jezz I'm not gonna intergrate well

netwhizkid

Ye forgot about reminiscing about the Corncrake and hating those "bakstards the tans" oh yeah and voting Fianna Fail even if the children were rotting in the ditches from the hunger.

Burning Agri Diesel instead of proper Diesel shur if its good enough for the Massey its good enough for that 1986 Nissan Bluebird, which incidentally should have bald tyres, no tax & insurance plus about 17 different "young lads" hanging out the windows and a mongrel dog all crammed in heading to mass, for to lick the priests hand while receiving Communion. The Bluebird should also have all its seats patched with extra wide silage tape.

Never missing "the Wothar" i.e Weather. Need I go on, Gombeens, I blame Fianna Fail & the Catholic Church and their joint Dictatorship of this country.