That Loving Feeeeelin....but baby's asleep in the cot!

telecaster

May have been discussed before, apologies for not finding the thread in that case...but what's the lowdown on continuing the baby making when "the one you've prepared earlier" is half a yard away in the cot?

Is the baby going to be forever mentally scarred by viewing parental bedroom gymnastics or will the happy glow of love be a positive energy for the child?

luckat

You can always move the cot to another room for a couple of hours and put a baby monitor in there.

Nevyn

Children do not really recall or remember anything before the age of 3.
You just may have to keep the vocal part of your expressions down a tad.
Basically there are no rules do that you feel comfortible with.

ST*

luckat wrote:

You can always move the cot to another room for a couple of hours and put a baby monitor in there.

This is a good idea. Your baby needs to get used to it's own space, if you leave the cot in your room for much longer you will never be able to get him / her out of your room. And at the rate you are going there will be two in the room soon! You and your partner may feel guilty about it at first, but it's for his / her own good in the long run.

eiretamicha

Many cosleeping/attached parents make love with their infant in the same room as them.

Basically, Thaedydal is spot on. Do what you feel comfortable doing.

telecaster

Thanks for your thoughts...I expect a general parenting instinct will tell us the best thing for us to do in most situations.

sharonlarkin

You could leave the baby in the cot and go to another room for the fun stuff. Just don't forget the monitor. I find kids are great contraceptives

Dreamer 7

Personally Im living in a one bed house and we have 2 children , so we have no choice but to carry on regardless, we have fun hiding under the duvet and keeping noises to a minimum. It does them no harm at all IMHO

Nevyn

For years families living in what would now be considered very cramped conditions with everyone in the same room and with very few beds and parents found a way to procreate again

Femelade

why not just do it on the couch? or kitchen table....

BigCon

Thaedydal wrote:

Children do not really recall or remember anything before the age of 3.
You just may have to keep the vocal part of your expressions down a tad.
Basically there are no rules do that you feel comfortible with.

I can remember back to when I was 2. Thankfully the memory is of going to a football game though

ST*

BigCon wrote:

I can remember back to when I was 2. Thankfully the memory is of going to a football game though

My long term memory is far better than my short. While my parents were waiting for our house to be built, we had to live in a one bed place for a while. I kind of remember stuff even though I was only 3

Needless to say, my 2 & 4yr old are in their own room. I just think it is fairer to mum and dad, as it is to the children. The less people that are in the room the better quality sleep you will get imo, you're less likely to wake each other up.

eiretamicha

ST* wrote:

My long term memory is far better than my short. While my parents were waiting for our house to be built, we had to live in a one bed place for a while. I kind of remember stuff even though I was only 3

Needless to say, my 2 & 4yr old are in their own room. I just think it is fairer to mum and dad, as it is to the children. The less people that are in the room the better quality sleep you will get imo, you're less likely to wake each other up.

Different strokes for different folks, though. I remember when I was little, like ages 4-7, I was constantly afraid of being alone at night. I wasn't afraid of the dark, I was just afraid of being alone. I would get up after my mom and dad were alseep and try to sneak into their bedroom because that was the only way I could get some rest. Usually, however, they would find me and make me go back to my own room for fear of spoiling me. I still to this day have trouble sleeping alone and have only recently begun getting full a night's sleep upon meeting (and sleeping with) my husband.

I am a firm believer in the family bed for as long as your child wills it (and usually, most children want the novelty of their own room and bed before they're 6 or 7). This is only my opinion, though, and brought upon mainly by my own personal experiences.

ST*

eiretamicha wrote:

This is only my opinion, though, and brought upon mainly by my own personal experiences.

If a child has a genuine fear of the dark, being alone etc., exceptions should be made until the parents get to the root of the problem I think.

Some parents are happier with their children being close to them, and I respect that totally. You can't fault a parent for that. I guess sleeping arrangements all boil down to the child, and how well it responds to being in its own room.

You mentioned the ages 4-7, was this around when you were first given your own room? If so, I can imagine why it might have been hard - you would have been used to the company of your parents. At that particular stage, a child may find their own room either a novelty or fearful prospect.

It's a bit of a catch 22 alright

Nevyn

Both mine where moved into thier own rooms at the age of 2.
A big deal was made out of it and thier big boy/gilr bed and the room done p for them.
Took about a year in each case of them coming in to my bed before they settled.
Ocassionally they will come in at night but it is usually the case of them being not well or nightmares. or distrubed sleep or the weather being too hot.

larry1

luckat wrote:

You can always move the cot to another room for a couple of hours and put a baby monitor in there.

Couple of hours??? Go on the Don Juan! More like minutes me thinks

darkflower

make milk and put the baby to sleep fast

froggy_7

That may be a very Irish thing to do (letting the child sleep with his parents) and I have tried it and regretted it with my 1st son. He is now 6 and it has taken him years to stop coming into our bed. I don't think this is good for a child's own confidence, as proven by mrs. eirtamicha!

One day, I just had a chat with him saying that there was nothing in the dark that was also there in the light (quote from the Twilight Zone, believe it or not!), we had a little fun with shadows, which he then fully understood, and he is now totally fine with sleeping on his own.

As for my baby daughter, she was in her own bedroom a week after birth; I was going to her to breastfeed, rather than taking her with us... and we all had and still have the sleep we deserve! I am very aware this is not possible for a lot of families (we also lived in a 1 bedroom flat when our son arrived), but children need their sleep as much as parents do. That doesn't stop morning cuddles, the 4 of us in our bed, lovely feeling and bonding, but sleep at night is too important... and mam/dad's sex life too!