Can anyone remember the Guinness Creed????

JohnnySideburns

Hi,

I'm trying to rewrite the Guinness Creed, a funny e-mail that circulated a few years ago. This is what I have produced from memory. Can anyone help me finish it?

Cheers

We believe in one drink, Guinness the almighty,
Maker of cans and bottles, of all that is drunk and undrunk.
We believe in one brewer, Arthur, the only son of Guinness.
Eternity begotten of the hops.
Hops from Hops, Barley from Barley, True Drink from True Drink,
Begot not made of one distrillery of the father, through it all things were made.
For our sake ……….(Can’t remember the rest)

daymobrew

Back in 1994 I wrote the entire mass in a similar vein (hey, my name is Damien, what do you expect ).
Mine version of "Our Father" was/is:

Arthur's Devotion
Our Can, who art in beer cooler,
Hallowed be thy ring-pull;
Thy delivery come;
Thy contents will be drunk at home as it is in pubs.
Give us today our daily session;
and forgive us our vomiting,
as we forgive those who drink minerals;
and lead us not into other brands,
but deliver us from sobriety.
A beer...please.

The creed was considerably longer (formatting lost in copy-n-paste)

THE WHOLE STORY AND IDEALS
We believe in one chemical, CH3CH2OH,
the wonderful, the mighty,
maker of hangovers and parties
of all that is cheap and lethal.
We believe in one brewer, Head Brewer,
the only protégé of Arthur Guinness,
expertly trained by the original,
alcohol from sugar, beer from hops,
true beer from true brewers,
born brewer, not made,
of one being with the original.
Through him all brewers were trained.
For us men and for our enjoyment
he came down from his office:
(All are silent during next three lines)
by the power of text books
he came into knowledge,
and was made famous.
For our sake he was trained under Arthur Guinness;
he suffered failure and was tried.
On the third occasion he checked again
in accordance with the instructions;
he ascended into history
and stands on the right of the original.
He will come again in a motorcade to judge
the beer and the spirits,
and his kegs will have no end.
We believe in the holy spirits, the whiskey,
the giver of life,
which proceeds from the malt and the barley.
With the malt and the barley it is
nurtured and distilled.
It is consumed by the masses.
We believe in one holy hour
and only one.
We acknowledge one test for the
forgiveness of abstinence.
We look for the reduction of taxes,
and the day Hell freezes over. A beer.

JohnnySideburns

Good one Damien,

Hope you had a nice birthday yesterday!!!!!

daymobrew

JohnnySideburns wrote:

Hope you had a nice birthday yesterday!!!!!

I stood outside a cinema and damned those that weren't there to see me

I tried to wave a damning finger but it fell off.