Pet Diaries

Dec McC · 11-06-2006 1:10pm #1

PET DIARIES...

As seen in a dog's diary: -

7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!
8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 am - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!
2 pm - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!
3 pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
4 pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favorite!
7 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite!
8 pm - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 pm - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favorite!
11pm - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favorite!

As seen in a cat's diary: -

Day 183 of my captivity... My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre
little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced
to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape,
and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture.

Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my captors
by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded - must
try this at the top of the stairs.
In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again
induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair - must try this on their
bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make
them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear in their
hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was.
Hmmm, not working according to plan...

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in
solitary throughout the event.
However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More important, I
overheard that my confinement was due to my powers of inducing "allergies."
Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches.
The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is
obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an
informant and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every
move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured.
But I can wait; it is only a matter of time.