an american view of the world cup

kinaldo

http://www.twincities.com/mld/twincities/14741693.htm

so misguided it's funny. btw does anyone here actually remember watching the superbowl? all i remember is commercials.

Maybe non-fans do know soccer
If the government really is serious about identifying illegal immigrants, it soon will be provided a unique opportunity to record their whereabouts.

All the Department of Homeland Security has to do is monitor the city-by-city television ratings of this month's World Cup soccer tournament. Agents should be dispatched to any area in which the ratings reflect an unnaturally high level of interest. That likely signals a concentrated pocket of illegals.

No one who actually is from here cares about the most over-hyped, mind-numbingly boring event in the world. Nevertheless, ABC and ESPN will combine to broadcast all 64 games live and in high definition starting on Friday. High definition means that over the course of a 90-minute contest, both scoring chances can be viewed with crystal clarity.

There's no word yet on whether any of the games will be presented "commercial free." The networks usually make a big deal out of doing that. It's their way of telling us how important the World Cup is. Remember, there were no commercial interruptions when man first walked on the moon.

It makes sense, too. After 20-minute stretches of televised World Cup nothingness, an action-packed commercial definitely would seem intrusive.

Thirty years after soccer was supposed to be the next thing here, ESPN and ABC will attempt to "educate" as well as entertain American viewers during the World Cup, according to an article in Sunday's paper. The arrogance is astounding. The networks still are subscribing to the tired old chestnut that Americans aren't interested in soccer because we don't understand it.

All that tactical beauty is somehow slipping past us. We aren't smart enough to understand the nuances involved in the most popular game in the world.

In fact, just the opposite is true. We don't like soccer because we do understand it. And it's awful.

It's time to quit apologizing and tell the truth. When it comes to soccer, we're right, and the rest of the world is wrong. If they want to dance in the streets of Cameroon or Belgium over this stuff, fine. But the sport does not suit American taste, and we should stop feeling guilty about it.

Look, Americans are an industrious people. We use our hands. We catch footballs. We throw baseballs. We hit golf balls and tennis balls by gripping a piece of equipment. It is unnatural for us to put our hands behind our backs and try to "pass" a soccer ball to a teammate by bouncing it off our heads. We aren't circus seals, and no one is going to toss us a fish if we do it right.

It also offends our sense of fair play to watch a lone referee try to police an area the size of Rhode Island and then get blamed for the outcome by whichever team loses. And regardless of how passionate we are about our sports teams, we draw the line at pipe bombs.

Many spectators in soccer-crazed countries warm up for a big match by hitting their neighbor in the head with a brick. And as soon as little Nigel or Fiona is old enough, mum and dad take them out back and practice squishing them against a chain link fence.

No matter which country wins, rest assured that thousands will die in worldwide rioting. I'm going to pick up the satellite feed of The Hooligan Network, direct from Europe. They show split screen: the soccer game on one half, fans clubbing each other on the other.

Yes, America may be the only country that doesn't go goofy for soccer. We also are the only remaining super power. Don't you see a connection there?

In fairness, soccer is a great activity for little kids. It allows them to run around outside before their motor skills are fully developed and they can move onto something else. It's not bad at the high school level, either, because individual abilities vary greatly at that age, and weird play often occurs as a result.

Beyond that, it's unbearable. As the World Cup rolls around again, I refuse to apologize for saying I'd rather have a colonoscopy than watch a minute of it. Soccer is the rest of the world's problem. Let's not even fake it anymore.

Who cares if the French or Chinese think we are uncivilized? What's the big deal if opponents from the Middle East shake hands after a match? Their countries will be at each other's throats again the next day, anyway.

Perhaps ABC and ESPN will garner decent ratings when the tournament begins. For at least one government agency, the demographics of that audience could prove very interesting.

Tom Powers can be reached

at tpowers@pioneerpress.com.

Mr.Nice Guy

It's ridiculous but this is a country whose sports teams can be crowned 'World champions' when they don't play anyone outside of the US. Most of them are totally ignorant.

Pretty much every country on earth besides the US (and Canada) enjoy the beautiful game. The problem with Americans is that they lack the patience of other nationalities. They need to be entertained right from the off hence the fireworks, cheerleaders and all the other bullsh*t.

It's a shame that the US manages to qualify for these tournaments when most of the nation doesn't give a damn about it. I loved this bit:

Many spectators in soccer-crazed countries warm up for a big match by hitting their neighbor in the head with a brick. And as soon as little Nigel or Fiona is old enough, mum and dad take them out back and practice squishing them against a chain link fence.

No matter which country wins, rest assured that thousands will die in worldwide rioting. I'm going to pick up the satellite feed of The Hooligan Network, direct from Europe. They show split screen: the soccer game on one half, fans clubbing each other on the other.

This is coming from a guy whose country allows citizens to own guns. Unbelievable.

Big Nelly

kinaldo wrote:

Look, Americans are an industrious people. We use our hands. We catch footballs. We throw baseballs. We hit golf balls and tennis balls by gripping a piece of equipment. It is unnatural for us to put our hands behind our backs and try to "pass" a soccer ball to a teammate by bouncing it off our heads. We aren't circus seals, and no one is going to toss us a fish if we do it right.

Americans are industrious????? biggest shower of .......... cant say that word on here or weeks ban for me, the only time they use there hands is to shot each other. Lets go to school today kids, sorry Mammy they shot it up yesterday so we have a day off. Great country indeed.

Maybe if half there kids played footie they wouldnt go around shooting each other.

Ronan|Raven

Not often do I get bothered about idiots such as the guy who wrote that but I felt an overwheming urge to email him and set him straight on a few facts. For all the good it will do.

CiaranC

*Yawn*

Who cares what some insignificant country thinks about the World Cup?

Big Nelly

Ronan|Raven wrote:

Not often do I get bothered about idiots such as the guy who wrote that but I felt an overwheming urge to email him and set him straight on a few facts. For all the good it will do.

Was in the process of writing a "not very nice" email but then said I couldnt be bothered because he would only get confused when I told him I was from Ireland......"Which state??"

ziggy

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dbnavan

Big Nelly wrote:

Americans are industrious????? biggest shower of .......... cant say that word on here or weeks ban for me, the only time they use there hands is to shot each other. Lets go to school today kids, sorry Mammy they shot it up yesterday so we have a day off. Great country indeed.

Pity u didnt say the word, get the ban u deserve. Having worked in america, I can tell you the office I worked in had some of the hardest working people I know in it, When Irish people work a 9 o'clock start means, be in work for 8.59, where in america people I had working for me would be in up to an hour early! That IMO is industrious.

The article in question is obviously an opinion column, many of which you will also find in British and Irish papers and Magizines over the last few weeks. If an english Sunday Times write wrote something like...."Whats the point in watching grown men run around after a bag of air, roll around and whine" we'd just probably say something rude about him, but because this guy is American where soccer is still not a widely watched sport, we feel the need to laugh and make racist comments about them.

Big Nelly wrote:

Maybe if half there kids played footie they wouldnt go around shooting each other.

Maybe if half the kids in dublin didnt drink or do drugs, we'd produce a better team and be their ourselves.

Chardee MacDennis

kinaldo wrote:

What's the big deal if opponents from the Middle East shake hands after a match? Their countries will be at each other's throats again the next day, anyway.

what an idiotic thing to say... i suppose he thinks the football game between the germans and the english on christmas eve in WW1 was pointless too.

what a fool...

scargill

I have a theory about Americans....they only like sports where everybody gets to score !!

Basketball is a prime example, a game ends 120-112. Everyone gets a chance to score. If a sawcer game ends 1-0 there is only one hero !!

Same reason they prefer pool to snooker - nobody is crap at pool - very few are good at snooker. They like a game that everyone can be reasonably good at - baseball ??? rounders !

iregk

I love the whole comment of as soon as the kids are old enough they practice holding them against the fence. I suppose thats better than having your kids hold up the local liquer store then shoot a couple of homies!

johnos

Sad.
It's one thing being ignorant, it's another being proud of being ignorant.
Nevertheless, interesting to see an American chauvinist profess an aversion to violence. Maybe there's hope after all!

AnCapaillMor

The reason it never took off in the states is 45 minutes without adverts is unheard of. American football has been designed around television, and hour of play takes up to 3-4 hours, all for ads etc, i'm not knocking american football, i love it, but i could never watch a full match, too much farting around. 2 halves equal 1 ad break, 4 quarters = loads more ad breaks, timeout=ad break, the list goes on. same with hockey and basketball and ad breaks are needed for baseball as one would kill themself without a break.

dohboy

The article is pretty tongue in cheek. It's designed to provocate, not really inform. Plenty of Americans enjoy soccer, it's not the wasteland it once was.

Rod Liddle (the guy who "left his wife for a young wan", according to Dunphy) writes a similar reader-baiting column in the Sunday Times every week. Fun to read occasionaly if you don't take it too seriously

Töpher

It's written firmly tongue in cheek, much like the Angelina thread I put up. Designed solely to as a bit of fun, to poke a bit of fun, and so basically have a lighthearted chuckle, be that from the person opting the viewpoint of the writer, or the person its aimed at provoking (from the one above, I'd imagine both'd find it hillarious!).

Personally, I found it quite amusing!

Some people need to lighten up it would seem How could it not be seen that the above was more of a comedy piece than anything? Action packed commercials? Circus seals?! (You have seen American Football right?) Then again, over the top reactions was probably one of his reasons behind writing it - along with some humour obviously.

daveirl

This post has been deleted.

PiE

Troll.

johnos

Einst&#252 wrote: »

It's written firmly tongue in cheek, much like the Angelina thread I put up. Designed solely to as a bit of fun, to poke a bit of fun, and so basically have a lighthearted chuckle, be that from the person opting the viewpoint of the writer, or the person its aimed at provoking (from the one above, I'd imagine both'd find it hillarious!).

Personally, I found it quite amusing!

Some people need to lighten up it would seem How could it not be seen that the above was more of a comedy piece than anything? Action packed commercials? Circus seals?! (You have seen American Football right?) Then again, over the top reactions was probably one of his reasons behind writing it - along with some humour obviously.

It's fair to say that it's a nonsense/comedy piece all right, but it nevertheless gets its philistine point across, so should be met with zero tolerance. It's also rather sanctimonious when it comes to 'soccer' violence.

Ruskie4Rent

Big Nelly wrote:

Was in the process of writing a "not very nice" email but then said I couldnt be bothered because he would only get confused when I told him I was from Ireland......"Which state??"

An American asked me that in florida. "So where you folk from". Ireland. "What state is that in?"
So they don't wanna watch boring low scoring games but can sit and watch 3 hour baseball games with ads every 10 minutes. He calls the world cup boring and over-hyped yet base ball's final show piece lasts 7 games and is called the world series.
Tongue in cheek. More like head up arse.

mchurl

Quite a funny article imo, just shows how ignorant some people can be.

ctrl-alt-delete

I think the budweiser ads, on utv i think, are brilliant and are around the same issue to the article above, Budweiser slagging the americans. Anybody see any of them? i know one makes a point of the "other countries in a world cup", the tactical one is funny too -

Guy1: "4-5-1, 4-4-2, 5-4-1"
Guy2 "talking tactics brian?"
Guy 1 "no sodoku"

Amz

Ruskie4Rent wrote:

He calls the world cup boring and over-hyped yet base ball's final show piece lasts 7 games and is called the world series.

World Series is named after the World newspaper who originally sponsored it. Showing your own ignorance here, as are the others who mentioned it.

MrJoeSoap

Amz wrote:

World Series is named after the World newspaper who originally sponsored it. Showing your own ignorance here, as are the others who mentioned it.

http://roadsidephotos.com/baseball/name.htm

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2054924929

Amz

Fair enough I admit I was misinformed, but why is this the first time I've heard that the World newspaper story is only a myth?

Tusky

Amz wrote:

World Series is named after the World newspaper who originally sponsored it. Showing your own ignorance here, as are the others who mentioned it.

Whos ignorant again ?

Amz

Go back to bed Tusky.

MrJoeSoap

Amz wrote:

Fair enough I admit I was misinformed, but why is this the first time I've heard that the World newspaper story is only a myth?

It is a fairly common misconception it would seem, and the researcher in the link I posted seems to have gone to some length to disprove it.

Amz

MrJoeSoap wrote:

It is a fairly common misconception it would seem, and the researcher in the link I posted seems to have gone to some length to disprove it.

Yeah, I honestly had never heard that before. Thanks for putting me straight though. I had taken it for granted that the Americans who told me the World Newspaper story would know their stuff.

Apologies Ruskie.

Tusky

Amz wrote:

Go back to bed Tusky.

agreed.

Ardent

Excellent article, hilarious. Particularly like this bit:

All the Department of Homeland Security has to do is monitor the city-by-city television ratings of this month's World Cup soccer tournament. Agents should be dispatched to any area in which the ratings reflect an unnaturally high level of interest. That likely signals a concentrated pocket of illegals.

Pigman II

we're right, and the rest of the world is wrong.

Wish it was just soccer they felt this way about.

(Nice little piss-take article that someone like our friend Rod Liddle might be proud of. At least I HOPE it's a pisstake? )

Ruskie4Rent

Amz wrote:

Yeah, I honestly had never heard that before. Thanks for putting me straight though. I had taken it for granted that the Americans who told me the World Newspaper story would know their stuff.

Apologies Ruskie.

No bother. I'm still blissfully ignorant when it comes to the american games anyway so you were right in many ways.

Ruu_Old

ziggy67 wrote:

I don't think Americans get the appeal of football because its a low scoring game & they also don't like it when games end in a draw.

I would much rather watch a 1-1 game of football than a game of Basketball that ends 100-96. It makes scoring utterly meaningless.

Exactly right. Everyone I talk to around here, inlaws especially, couldnt be bothered about it "because no-one ever scores and its boring". Its unfortunate but Americans have their own little world and their own sports and dont really want to look outside of that. "World series" is a joke of a name (I think Japan play in it now though, not sure)

edit: just read about where it got its name, alot of people make that mistake including me .

daveirl

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Benedict XVI

Can people just relax, this article is totally tongue in cheek, and very entertaining

And for those who are going on about baseball’s championship being called the World Series, get over it, it’s a historical name, has been around for 100 years.
If you want to be consistent you should be up in arms about the GAA calling their championship an All – Ireland, last time I checked 3 of the last 4 years in football a team from the United Kingdom won it !!!!

shatners basoon

Benedict XVI wrote:

If you want to be consistent you should be up in arms about the GAA calling their championship an All – Ireland, last time I checked 3 of the last 4 years in football a team from the United Kingdom won it !!!!

Ooooo, now you're getting the nationalists fuming!!!! They're from Ireland ya dummy! Free Ireland, kill all the foreigners who practice heretic sports!!!!!! And no i don't know how to speak irish and would certainly consider Christy Moore pure Trad music!!!!!

deman

Amz wrote:

World Series is named after the World newspaper who originally sponsored it. Showing your own ignorance here, as are the others who mentioned it.

Finally, someone has answered this question. I spent an evening online chatting to 5 big baseball fans from Boston and I asked that question - how can you call it a "World Series" when only 1 or 2 countries play it. The answer I got was that it has players from almost 100 counties playing in it, which I didn't accept as a justifiable answer.

Surely an Irishman can be forgiven about being ignorant of baseball when die-hard fans can't even answer a simple question!

galwaydude

Americans dont really get soccer. I am watching the american game on espn now and talk about the commentators been biased.

Some of these comments amused me.

Kasey kellar is referred to as the best goalkeeper in the world.If he was german,french,english he would be deemed world class. What a load of crock. He couldnt even get into an average spurs team of a few years ago. I think he left in a free to sign for a german side.

Bran mcbride world class , give me a break.He had a good season for fulham this year but yes thats fulham not arsenal or Man Utd.

Claudio reyna is another one who is been seen as the messiah.

I could go on but its just trivial stuff. They actually think they can finish second in the group.

el rabitos

americans like bombs and nuclear warheads, football doesnt have legs being blown off (unless cisse is playing) so they dont really get it

MrJoeSoap

galwaydude wrote:

Bran mcbride world class , give me a break.He had a good season for fulham this yea

If he was with a bigger club he would regularly be referred to as world class.

Certainly no better header of a ball in the game.

Pigman II

galwaydude wrote:

Americans dont really get soccer. I am watching the american game on espn now and talk about the commentators been biased.

Some of these comments amused me.

Kasey kellar is referred to as the best goalkeeper in the world.If he was german,french,english he would be deemed world class. What a load of crock. He couldnt even get into an average spurs team of a few years ago. I think he left in a free to sign for a german side.

Bran mcbride world class , give me a break.He had a good season for fulham this year but yes thats fulham not arsenal or Man Utd.

Claudio reyna is another one who is been seen as the messiah.

I could go on but its just trivial stuff. They actually think they can finish second in the group.

They're just bigging up their best players. Those 3 probably are world class compared to the rest of what they've got.

Was actually thinking about this subject just the other day and I've come to the conclusion we're just as bad when it comes to the likes of Damian Duff for example. We call him 'World Class' even tho to my mind he's never really done it (just the odd flash here and there). It's just that he's usually playing with such unspectacular players for Ireland that he consistenly is the one to stick out.

Mr.Nice Guy

Benedict XVI wrote:

If you want to be consistent you should be up in arms about the GAA calling their championship an All – Ireland, last time I checked 3 of the last 4 years in football a team from the United Kingdom won it !!!!

Silly comment. The problem people have with Americans calling their baseball championship the World Series is that they don't play teams from around the WORLD.

The All-Ireland in contrast does involve teams from all over IRELAND. Maybe if we called it the all-Isles championship you might have a case. But you don't.

WhiteWashMan

ctrl-alt-delete wrote:

I think the budweiser ads, on utv i think, are brilliant and are around the same issue to the article above, Budweiser slagging the americans. Anybody see any of them? i know one makes a point of the "other countries in a world cup", the tactical one is funny too -

Guy1: "4-5-1, 4-4-2, 5-4-1"
Guy2 "talking tactics brian?"
Guy 1 "no sodoku"

hehehehe

'hey, this WORLD CUp has actually got other nations in it! we're going to have to learn the names of other countries!'

classic


as for people getting up in arms becuase someone else has no interest or is mis informed, oh gee whizz, get over it.
who cares.

by the way, does the all-ireland football championsships have an elglish team in it?
and occassionally some american team?

and isnt the USA in the top 10 right now, a mere 26 places above ireland?

kind of makes things like 'Who cares what some insignificant country thinks about the World Cup?' seema bit silly really.

anyway, as usual storm in a tea cup.

i thought it was quite funny

CiaranC

Benedict wrote:

If you want to be consistent you should be up in arms about the GAA calling their championship an All – Ireland, last time I checked 3 of the last 4 years in football a team from the United Kingdom won it !!!!

Theres no contradiction there, part of Ireland is in the UK. Ireland is a description of the Island.

Doesnt compare to calling a one nation tournament a world series.

MrJoeSoap

CiaranC wrote:

Doesnt compare to calling a one nation tournament a world series.

Don't forget Canada... :rolleyes:

d22ontour

Aye the bud ads are good.

Some reporters reaction " i hope " seeking drivel doesn't entertain me.

YeatsCounty

MrJoeSoap wrote:

Don't forget Canada... :rolleyes:

And they only have one team in the competition, the Toronto Blue Jays. Used to have two before Montreal's team was sold a few years back. Still not the "world series" though. :-p


Speaking of Canada, the coverage of the World Cup over here is really pretty damn good. They have their own commentators and analysts this time around instead of getting an audio feed from ESPN. *shudders* The commentators are good (and not 'stereotypical') and the analysts have actually done research into each team, unlike a certain Mr. Wright on the BBC. I am a fan of the two-way effort between Rogers Sportsnet and TSN anyway.

eirebhoy

Pigman II wrote:

They're just bigging up their best players. Those 3 probably are world class compared to the rest of what they've got.

Was actually thinking about this subject just the other day and I've come to the conclusion we're just as bad when it comes to the likes of Damian Duff for example. We call him 'World Class' even tho to my mind he's never really done it (just the odd flash here and there). It's just that he's usually playing with such unspectacular players for Ireland that he consistenly is the one to stick out.

I don't agree. Duff is the best Irish player of his generation and in his first season at Chelsea was probably their best player. I think he's a world class player having a terrible time under Mourinho. At one time I would have put him down as one of the most consistant players in the world, he didn't know what a bad game was and would always make me happy watching him.

YeatsCounty

Had to laugh at the Canadian analysts poking fun at ESPN's Tommy "Onion Bag" Smyth a few minutes ago:

Analyst #1: Well that was the USA's problem at the end, they just couldn't stick it.......*long pause*....in the old onion bag. *grins like a maniac*
Analysts #2 and #3: *groan with barely concealed disgust*
Analyst #1: *beams with michievious pride*

Ruskie4Rent

Who or what is this onion bag and why is it funny?

YeatsCounty

Ruskie4Rent wrote:

Who or what is this onion bag and why is it funny?

He's famous especially in North America for not having a clue what he's talking about half of the time. Thank God he's staying on ESPN and away from my screen.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tommy_Smyth

Smyth is known for signing off when commentating as "Tommy Smyth... with a Y", and for his description of a ball flying into the net when a goal is scored as "a bulge in the ol' onion bag."