Post any Charlie Haughey Joke E-mails Here!!!!!

JohnnySideburns

Post any Charlie Haughey Joke E-mails Here!!!!!

Oriel

"any Charlie Haughey Joke E-mails"

scargill

ah lads - give it a few days

JohnnySideburns

Edited Message: Fair enough. Running a bit ahead of myself!

whiskeyman

scargill wrote:

ah lads - give it a few days

yeah lads.... keep your shirts on...

John Doe

While there are hypocrites giving false platitudes to that crook just because he's dead, there should be people posting jokes about him. I would expect, though, that a thread in the Humour forum should actually start with a joke...

Tom Dunne

Poor taste, very poor taste.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

St Peter is standign guard at the gates of heaven, when an 80 year old man approaches.
"Good morning, sir, could I have your name please?"
"Charles J Haughey"
St Peter types in the name and up comes a file. "Hmm... he says not sure about this. I see a lot of good, but I also see a lot bad. I'll have to have a word with the boss."
He goes off, God thinks about it and decides to let him in.
St Peter goes back to CJ. "Well, I've got some good news, he's decided..." He stops, looks around... "Where are the gates...?"

Goodshape

Ikky Poo2 wrote:

St Peter is standign guard at the gates of heaven, when an 80 year old man approaches.
"Good morning, sir, could I have your name please?"
"Charles J Haughey"
St Peter types in the name and up comes a file. "Hmm... he says not sure about this. I see a lot of good, but I also see a lot bad. I'll have to have a word with the boss."
He goes off, God thinks about it and decides to let him in.
St Peter goes back to CJ. "Well, I've got some good news, he's decided..." He stops, looks around... "Where are the gates...?"

:-|

colm_mcm

a real "INSERT NAME HERE" type joke there......

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Well, until SOMEONE does any better QUIT MOANING !!!!!

karlh

everyone tighten your belts while I buy an island.

doesn't get much funnier than that.

Capt'n Midnight

in 1977, he returned to the Cabinet as Minister for Health.

"Health cuts hurt the old, the sick and the handicapped."

Wern't there complications from winter vomiting bug or something ?



In his last Dáil address Haughey said: 'I have always sought to act solely and exclusively in the best interests of one of the Irish people.

DublinWriter

OK...just made this one up on the spot, bear with me.

Charlie is at the gates of Heaven and St. Peter is just about to let him in when he gets a call on his mobile.

"St.Peter? Satan here, I think that Charlie Haughey guy is one of ours"

St.Peter says "Oh really? It says here on his file that he gave old aged pensioners free travel passes and TV licences"

Satan says "Well, on my file it says that he received millions in solicited bribes from businessmen and never declared tax on personal donations".

St.Peter says "Oh...well, on my file it also says that he passed a law giving women equal inheritance rights on their husbands' estates".

Satan says "It says on my file that he boned Terry Keane...several times"

St.Peter says "Fuck it, he's yours!"

colm_mcm

That's quite funny!

DublinWriter

colm_mcm wrote:

That's quite funny!

Thanks. I'm also available for childrens' parties, weddings and 21sts.

dinjo

bad taste...... the man hasn't even being buried yet !

\m/_(>_<)_\m/

karlh wrote:

everyone tighten your belts while I buy an island.

doesn't get much funnier than that.

he didn't say that... that was about 10 years after CJ...

deise_boi

I hear as a mark of respect they're burying him in a brown envelope

gerire

dinjo wrote:

bad taste...... the man hasn't even being buried yet !

What did you expect in this thread tbh

Mr Magnolia

deise_boi wrote:

I hear as a mark of respect they're burying him in a brown envelope

Best one yet....

Sam Vimes

cj has left it in a will that all condolence cards are to be left at the back of the church in brown envelopes

EdgarAllenPoo

Feck it why not have a laugh we are after all talking about someone who lined his own pockets while a good chunk of the country was penniless and unemployed.

Hagar

There is/was nothing funny about the man.

His misdeeds were beyond a joke.

netwhizkid

I presume he will be buried in one of his finest Charvet shirts.

See the attachment.

Hogmeister B

dinjo wrote:

bad taste...... the man hasn't even being buried yet !

Do you seriously think his relatives will be on a humour forum and open a haughey thread, and care? don't be so prudish.


Kudos, Dublin Writer, that was a really good joke. Did anyone see the cartoon in the Phoenix? CJH is in heaven sitting on a throne. St Peter comes over and says "**** off Charlie, that's for the other Boss."

Mimikyu

This post has been deleted.

karlh

karlh wrote:

everyone tighten your belts while I buy an island.

doesn't get much funnier than that.

\m/_(>_<)_\m/ wrote:

he didn't say that... that was about 10 years after CJ...

you're right, i shouldn't paraphrase such a upstanding pillar of our society.

1980, he said: "as a community we are living away beyond our means."

.....now i'm just nipping off to buy an island

mrbungle

DublinWriter wrote:

Thanks. I'm also available for childrens' parties, weddings and 21sts.

Do you do funerals ?

Velvet Vocals

Worst thread ever!:rolleyes:

SoundWave

Hogmeister B wrote:

Do you seriously think his relatives will be on a humour forum and open a haughey thread, and care? don't be so prudish

true... they are probably all on p45rant... :P